Relationships

degausser234

I was just wondering, how would you feel if your bf/gf/spouse/etc. spoke to an ex on a regular bases? Under which circumstances would it bother you or not?

- Jenny

degausser234

bump

melinadanielle

depending on how close they are and the terms they broke up on, i think i would be a little upset with it. im just glad my boyfriend hates his ex with a passion of a million burning suns ahah.

torygirl79

Unfortunately sometimes it's inevitable, especially if they have children together, but also in circumstances like still working together.

There are also relationships that died so long ago all feelings are dead. Would I feel less insecure about an ex from 10 years ago when both have been in several relationships since than an ex from 6 months ago who could still be carrying s flame? Absolutely,

The circumstances it is not acceptable is when it's done behind their partner's back. Are they willing to see their ex with you there? If not, then there is a problem.

Haylz_ish

If you trust your partner then it shouldn't bother you at all

melcpia

It depends on which EX it is! Hubby and I have been together 16 years and I adore one of his ex's, she's actually our sons god mother :bigsmile: If it was the either of the other 2 I'd probably have a hissy fit. #1 I don't like and # 2 was a crazy stalker even after we got married. As for me, I don;t talk to any of mine...cant be bothered really!

lifeissweet89

Trust IS a big part of getting through this BUT I think it's normal too feel a little jealous (and worried). Like @melinadaniell said, it also depends on which circumstances they broke up upon and how close they are.

It would personally bother me a bit but I would let it be because I trust him. I mean if there were anything else going on (knocking on wood) then the truth would present itself and you would know.

Don't let it get to you so much that it creates more trouble in your relationship. Don't be your own worst enemy.

Cait_Sidhe

My ex is one of my best friends. We were best friends when we were together and we always will be. It's been a long time and we're no longer who we were when we were together and that part's just not there anymore. Friendship is all there will ever be and whoever I'm with just has to be okay with that.

alleycat88

I was just wondering, how would you feel if your bf/gf/spouse/etc. spoke to an ex on a regular bases? Under which circumstances would it bother you or not?

- Jenny

My SO knows there is one girl that I cannot stand him talking to - it turns me into a raging ***** and has come close to messing up our relationship. The reason it pisses me off so much? The content of his messages to her.

All his other exes I have no problems with

chasecarlt0n

I still talk to my ex on a regular basis and he talked to one of his exes a lot too. But as long as neither of them crossed boundaries, I didn't care.

Matt_Wild

I speak with my ex readily and I'm seeing somherzeone new atm. Whilst I love my ex to pieces and will do anything for her she has made it clear we can only be friends. So, we chat, help and advise each other on things. If the new partner doesn't like, then the new one would be over.

whiskeycharged

I speak with my ex readily and I'm seeing somherzeone new atm. Whilst I love my ex to pieces and will do anything for her she has made it clear we can only be friends. So, we chat, help and advise each other on things. If the new partner doesn't like, then the new one would be over.

that's kinda bogus man. sounds like she is over you but your not over her. drop it like it's hot and don't risk someone new for something that will never be. just my opinion but

JennieAL

I'm still friends with my ex-bf. We were together for six years. That's kind of like a marriage. It was over halfway through though really... so, it's more like we were good friends than lovers toward the end. He was also someone who helped me in a lot of ways, just learning to deal with life. So he's very special to me because he stood by me as I dealt with some emotional/mental difficulties. My husband understands all this and knows we are nothing more than good friends. He is welcome in our house at any time and comes to visit us on occasion. He even gave us a wedding gift.

As for my husband's ex. That was over years before he and I met. They aren't friends, though I'm sure he wishes her well and doesn't want anything bad for her of course. I think she made it clear to one of his friends a couple years ago that she'd be interested in him again... he made it clear that he would never open that up again.

Matt_Wild

I speak with my ex readily and I'm seeing somherzeone new atm. Whilst I love my ex to pieces and will do anything for her she has made it clear we can only be friends. So, we chat, help and advise each other on things. If the new partner doesn't like, then the new one would be over.

that's kinda bogus man. sounds like she is over you but your not over her. drop it like it's hot and don't risk someone new for something that will never be. just my opinion 'ut

No, I've had enough of OH's saying what I can and cannot think and people I can meet. If anyone I meet doesn't like it, then they aren't for me.

I make this clear tho, its to the new OH to decide if thats ok with them.

kmm7309

I speak with my ex readily and I'm seeing somherzeone new atm. Whilst I love my ex to pieces and will do anything for her she has made it clear we can only be friends. So, we chat, help and advise each other on things. If the new partner doesn't like, then the new one would be over.

that's kinda bogus man. sounds like she is over you but your not over her. drop it like it's hot and don't risk someone new for something that will never be. just my opinion 'ut

No, I've had enough of OH's saying what I can and cannot think and people I can meet. If anyone I meet doesn't like it, then they aren't for me.

I make this clear tho, its to the new OH to decide if thats ok with them.

I love this gif, btw

KravMark

My wife is super jealous of any girl who pays attention to me . And as for ex's , they are totally off limits to me even on a friendship basis. In her defense I sometimes have a flirty personality

kmm7309

To the OP, there are too many variables for any of us to help you. My husband has kids by his ex. They've gone out to eat together, alone, especially when there's something serious to discuss about the kids. They are friends, I guess.

The question really is for you, OP: How do YOU feel about it? It seems (I could be wrong) like you are unhappy with it, and you are asking us to tell you that you are correct about that. But human relationships are a unique dynamic. If you are unhappy with it, that's not abnormal, and you need to talk to your SO.

MellowGa

I am still friends with all of my ex girlfriends, we chat via facebook. Been with my wife for 20 years... I ain't running off anytime soon.

ex-girlfriends= been there done that, if it was good I would have stuck around, but no reason not to be social. (works both ways)

slkehl

Totally depends on the situation

alleycat88

I am still friends with all of my ex girlfriends, we chat via facebook. Been with my wife for 20 years... I ain't running off anytime soon.

ex-girlfriends= been there done that, if it was good I would have stuck around, but no reason not to be social. (works both ways)

That's how I feel about exes too.. buuuut when messages to said exes involve such things as "I miss our pillow talk" tthen crazy jealous b!tch from hell comes out. :laugh:

foxyforce

i hate it, and they know

they stopped many many years ago, and now it is sort of awkward whenever they are around common friends, but at least they know their boundaries finally

kmm7309

My wife is super jealous of any girl who pays attention to me . And as for ex's , they are totally off limits to me even on a friendship basis. In her defense I sometimes have a flirty personality

My husband and I both have flirty personalities

It took some getting used to for both of us not to be jealous tyrants of one another. But that doesn't mean a person can't be (distantly) vigilant of cross signs.

I used to be the jealous type. It doesn't work. It pushes people away. However, I'm not going to be duped and take everything at face value if something seems amiss.

foxyforce

I was just wondering, how would you feel if your bf/gf/spouse/etc. spoke to an ex on a regular bases? Under which circumstances would it bother you or not?

- Jenny

My SO knows there is one girl that I cannot stand him talking to - it turns me into a raging ***** and has come close to messing up our relationship. The reason it pisses me off so much? The content of his messages to her.

All his other exes I have no problems with

what is the content? what i found works for me, is be more present, and kill ppl with kindness. if there are issues, and you are around with a smile about it, the girl won't be around for long.

alleycat88

I was just wondering, how would you feel if your bf/gf/spouse/etc. spoke to an ex on a regular bases? Under which circumstances would it bother you or not?

- Jenny

My SO knows there is one girl that I cannot stand him talking to - it turns me into a raging ***** and has come close to messing up our relationship. The reason it pisses me off so much? The content of his messages to her.

All his other exes I have no problems with

what is the content? what i found works for me, is be more present, and kill ppl with kindness. if there are issues, and you are around with a smile about it, the girl won't be around for long.

wrote some of it further up. It's from a long time ago, and right after we started dating, but I found it completely inappropriate and showed a total lack of respect for our relationship. We broke up for about a month and it lingered in our relationship for a while. he now has absolutely no contact with that girl after understanding how incredibly insecure that made me and that the insecurity in turn made me feel extremely jealous. I have never been the jealous girlfriend so for me it was something new and evry difficult to deal with.

mcedes02

My hubby unfortunately HAS to talk to his ex wife. They have kids together. She enjoys making everyone's life miserable though and that makes it hard to deal with. I don't care if he talks to her otherwise. My feelings are if he wants to go back to that over me...then I'll pack for him!! But we've been together 8yrs so I'm really not worried about it

yksdoris

I'll echo someone who answered earlier: if/when they hide it, you should be worried.

WhatHayleyEats

I believe that your ex is your ex for a reason. So, unless you have kids, you should cut all ties with them out of respect for your new partner.

natzkj

It would me because they are an ex for a reason (unless they had kids)

bii14

it would be a big bother for me for if they have ended their relationship whats the point of living it half way! ... and im sure it would bother him equally or more if i talked to my ex. But there might also be a case where its just on the basis of a formal relationship... than that could be acceptable

MellowGa

I really guess it is how comfortable you are, I mean my wife and I are both extremely flirty people, but as I said together 20 years, we know everything and do not hide anything.

I'll put it this way, she was at work and their power went out... she texted me.

"Bummer the power went out at work"

I replied, " that stinks, well no making out with anyone in the dark!"

she replies, " darn, how did you know? LOL"

you gotta laugh peeps, or it's no fun

chrishgt4

i hate it, and they know

they stopped many many years ago, and now it is sort of awkward whenever they are around common friends, but at least they know their boundaries finally

Well aren't you a treat....

I speak to quite a few of my exes and generally have done. Unless something really bad happens then I don't see any reason not to. The relationship side of it may have broken down, but that's no reason to ignore each other forever.

If my gf had an issue with it, then that would be her issue. That's not to say I wouldn't care, but I wouldn't not see a friend because my gf was irrationally jealous.

I couldn't be in a situation like the one the above poster's bf is in where they have to feel awkward around each other, but that's ok because 'they know their boundaries finally'...