sick of being told you don't need to loose weight

Options
245

Replies

  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
    Options
    Just don't tell people about it. People are generally self conscious around others trying to lose weight, especially if they are heavier than you and they see you trying, it makes them feel bad about themselves. Just don't talk to people about it, and they'll stay out of your business. They don't need to know anyway.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
    Options
    Just don't tell people about it. People are generally self conscious around others trying to lose weight, especially if they are heavier than you and they see you trying, it makes them feel bad about themselves. Just don't talk to people about it, and they'll stay out of your business. They don't need to know anyway.

    this. a lot of what people say to you in terms of weight loss is more about how they feel about themselves than anything involving you.

    it's easier to just not say anything otherwise you have people second guessing why you're putting cream in your coffee, why you're eating a snickers, why you arent eating cabbage soup, etc.
  • tlo23
    tlo23 Posts: 68
    Options
    Amen to that!! That's my philosophy too!
  • tlo23
    tlo23 Posts: 68
    Options
    Also...just ignore 'em:wink:
  • missworld95
    missworld95 Posts: 131 Member
    Options
    Yes! I hate it so much. I feel like I could just rip my hair out. It's none of their damn business.
  • Nikiki
    Nikiki Posts: 993
    Options
    I am within the healthy weight range for my height and am currently just here now for a "5 pound tune-up" but over 10 years ago lost 35 pounds. And I find that often people say this kind of thing because they are making excuses for themselves.

    I have friends that weigh more than me including some that are definitely overweight. When I first was losing weight (and still now) I head similar things from those friends. Like:

    -You don't need to lose weight
    -You look hungry
    - If I were you I don't know if I'd want to lose more weight, I don't want to look "unhealthy"

    And I honestly think that by trying to convince you that you don't need to lose weight, people like that are actually trying to convince themselves that THEY don't. Because if they agreed that someone else who may be similar in size or smaller than them needs to lose some weight (or even if they're smaller than you and still have a few pounds to lose) then how can they justify not doing the same for themselves?

    Do what you feel you need to do for YOU and YOUR health. That's what's important.
    ^^^^ this!! ^^^^

    I get it occasionally and it's all from people who are heavier and don't want to feel guilty about their own weight.

    Lay it on thick for them: tell them exactly what numbers you are working towards and what a healthy goal it is, all the things you can do now that you couldn't do before, how great and energetic you feel. Dont let them try to slow you down to feel better about themselves!!
  • hippietofugirl
    hippietofugirl Posts: 430
    Options
    Yess. My husband says I'm obsessed with dieting and because I'm plateauing, he says thats my body's way of telling me I'm thin enough. SO ANNOYING. I am NOT too thin, I'm NOT anorexic, and I'm NOT giving up on my goal weight thank you very much!
  • amyowens08
    amyowens08 Posts: 107 Member
    Options
    *lose
  • Katahna
    Katahna Posts: 326 Member
    Options
    Yes, omg, I've been huge my whole life, I got told "No you're fine the way you are!" but what they don't realise is that they are not the ones who have been made fun of their entire life, they aren't the ones who FEEL the weight, physically and mentally.

    So in saying that, it's not their fault for saying such a thing, because feeling the way they look is all they are used to... but at the same time, in our perspective, it's rude.

    So don't get upset by these comments, think of it as admiration of your progress, either that or they're getting jealous =]
  • Saffyra
    Saffyra Posts: 607 Member
    Options
    Yes, people say that. No, I'm not sick of it.

    I take it as the compliment they mean it as and thank them.

    Of course, I intend to keep on going with my weight loss but I would never resent someone for saying they think I look skinny!

    I should add that no one has ever said this to me in a mean, spiteful or negative way. If they were being mean and trying to hurt my feelings by saying it, that's another story. Luckily, no one has ever done that to me.
  • HisPixie
    HisPixie Posts: 55 Member
    Options
    Yep, I hear it too. I'm at a healthy weight; I know that. But I'm not at the weight where I feel most comfortable and where I fit into my clothes. I've been wearing the same clothes for the last five summers and this year -- after getting married last fall -- I didn't! I put on ten pounds and it makes me crazy. I've taken off six of those but I want to lose four more. And people roll their eyes at me when I turn away a cookie or piece of cake or the danishes someone brought into work.

    I also get that line "Oh, you don't need to worry about calories!" Well, that's what I DO have to worry! If you're overweight with no intention of changing, THAT'S when you don't have to worry about calories! To maintain my weight, especially at age 53, I definitely have to worry about calories! Every day!
  • iwandrea
    iwandrea Posts: 1
    Options
    I've had that my whole life, and its part of the reason why I found myself 30 lbs overweight at the age of 44.

    I am now 6lbs away from being in the lower 3rd of ideal weight for my height and build. That's my goal and I am sticking to it and I am going to try my best to ignore the people that tell me I don't need to lose that last 6lbs. It is irritating though and I feel like it totally diminishes the hard work I've done in the last 6 months.

    I have never felt healthier or stronger, and the knee pain I had started to feel has disappeared.

    I think another poster, who mentioned that other people are trying to justify their own weight, hit the nail on the head. There's also an element of cognitive dissonance, and us losing weight reminds them that what they do isn't really healthy.

    If you're in the normal range for your height and build on the charts, then you're doing just fine.
  • fauseyne03
    fauseyne03 Posts: 4 Member
    Options
    I'm going to be honest and say that I have said this before. My mom has been almost constantly trying to lose weight since I was a kid. I've always said that I don't think she needs to. It's not because I don't want her to succeed; I say it because I think she's beautiful and healthy the way she is. I don't want her to stress herself out by counting every calorie and freaking out if she goes over her "allotted amount". Maybe that makes me the odd person out on here, but that's why I've said it. Maybe that helps shine some light on the subject?
  • hourspassed
    hourspassed Posts: 5
    Options
    Yes. Yes. Yes.

    I'm embarrassed to even talk about losing weight at work. Whenever I mention being on a diet people tell me I look fine, or I don't need to lose weight, or they don't know what I'm worrying about. I'm 30 years old, started my weight loss journey at 183lbs, and I'm just shy of 5'4". I'm not blind, I'm not stupid, and I'm not getting any younger. I DO need to lose weight, and I don't get why people fuss so much about it. I'm not putting myself down my talking about being fat, that's just how it is.

    End rant.
  • disneydreamer61605
    disneydreamer61605 Posts: 23
    Options
    I had My mom dad and grandma sign me up for the gym go to my house throw away all my food like I was a drug addict trying to go into rehab!! That just made me eat more!! Now that I lost 50 pounds they say Im fat more than before, fudge em! lol
  • jamr1019
    jamr1019 Posts: 47 Member
    Options
    A close friend/co-worker and I get that ALL the time. I just ignore them. It's your body and only you will know when you have reached where you want to be and are comfortable with yourself.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
    Options
    I hear it, but I have a goal BF % and it is a healthy one so I don't really care what others say about my desire to lose 6 more pounds :)
  • vodkoffee
    vodkoffee Posts: 160 Member
    Options
    I've had some people tell me that, or critique the way I eat, telling me I am starving myself. I am on the Paleo diet for health reasons and I've had people get really angry and critical and tell me I'm killing myself. If I eat grain, I become ill. We're all different. It's not like I hate on their food choices. I really think most of them are just jealous of our willpower.

    Granted, there are some people who say it in a totally well meaning way, but that's obvious and I don't take offense to it, it is a compliment.
  • Heyyleigh
    Heyyleigh Posts: 268 Member
    Options
    OMG it is a major problem, especially at home. Been in a major fight with my husband., he takes every jab he can at me. He tells me constantly "You look sick" " This is doing nothing for me" .... FOR HIM... are you serious! Not a single nice word has come from his mouth!

    Not really sure what I am going to do about this. Except I do know I am not stopping. I am doing this for me- NOT HIM OR ANYONE ELSE!!!!! This is a lifestyle change. Losing weight and inches was a plus. I had a girl at work tell me " You look Horrible, like you have a disease" RIGHT to my face!!!,,,and shes been saying it around the office. Of course she looks like Jolly the green giant! Freaking gargantua ... The next time she does it I am setting lose on her and plan to hurt her feelings.

    People are just killing me this time, all worried about me, when they should look in the damn mirror. As you can see I feel quite strong on this subject. I feel great and my clothes are fitting sooooooooooo much better. Went to the doc and everything is fantastic!

    Screw all of them!
    And good luck to you, keep being you and fabulous! ;)
  • mvasallo
    mvasallo Posts: 57
    Options
    It happens a lot. I am mother of three & get told all the time, "You look great for having 3 kids don't worry about it." Or my favorite, "You only had your last baby a year ago, give it time it will come off on it's own." My response is usually somehwere along the lines of "I don't want to look good for a mother of 3, I want to look better than you." I have a sarcastic sense of humor so people get my point. But in all honesty it's usually people who are either overweight themselves or have extremly competitive personalities that tell me to stop. Everyone who loves me cheers me on. Just work on the voice inside your head, keep a good circle of people around you & keep your diet & exercise info on a need to know basis. :D

Categories