sick of being told you don't need to loose weight

mysterythatbinds

Yes! I've experienced that too and honestly you have to ignore them. You know what is best and healthy for you and what will make you happy. If you are perfectly happy right where you are then that's great, if not keep going, otherwise you'll always be holding onto a feeling that you could and want to be at a different weight. The natural happiness and contentment that arises from being right where you want to be is worth it.

Also, people are funny when it comes to change. When other people start making a lot of comments (strange, mean, supportive, etc.), then you know the changes you've made on the inside are starting to show on the outside. And that scares them. It brings up their own issues, what they have buried (whatever it may be) and now you are different than what they are used to. Give them time, they'll get used to it. Ignore it - they do not know you or your body better than you.

SenshiV

I understand what you are saying because I have been in both sides.

I have seen my wife loose weight, and i have told her exactly that "she don't need to loose more, because she is getting to thin", just understand that sometimes, it's pure and sincere worry.

It's not jealousy because I'm loosing weight too.

It's not insecurity because I'm pretty sure I have nothing to worry about. Really.

But I am concerned, it's hard for me because I know that the calculations over her height and age she probably can loose a little more, but I assure you, I get genuinely concerned! Even so, I understand.

Not making her life miserable or anything ever, I ask her to eat better when we eat together (and sometimes we both eat salads with little dressings and stuff, no pizzas or burgers) and I don't get between what she eats on mornings or nights, and I won't unless I see she is getting sick or anything.

I just wanted to share, since you are all on the opposite side, it's not always for the wrong reasons.

Now on the other side...

Unless you are feeling ok, and you pay a visit to your doctors and get some general exams and get good results, (haha yeah my wife and I do that often and she is ok that made me feel better), nobody can tell you you shouldn't do as well as you have being doing.

Good job and keep it up! But take care and do go get a checkup sometimes .

thedancingleper

I can say only twice in my life have I ever been complimented on my weight loss. As a general rule I get negative responses. It has taught me to just shut my mouth and keep it to myself.

pg3ibew

I LOVE when people tell me to STOP losing or GAIN weight. I went from 250 to 178. I was between 220 and 280 for the past 15 years.

I think that people just get use to you being fat and that is the way they picture you. Quite honestly, I look at pictures of myself fat and thin, and I CAN'T believe it is me.

Another of my favorites is when friends of friends ask my friends or me, if I am sick. Or they will ask my friends if I am on drugs.

My response is usually a good laugh and a hearty, YES.

gezza299

I hear you girl!

I think people say ****e like that because they are in denial of their own need to lose some weight. It makes them guilty that you are striving for healthy when they are happily stuck in eating their two favourite food groups, Fried and wrapped.

pg3ibew

I hear you girl!

I think people say ****e like that because they are in denial of their own need to lose some weight. It makes them guilty that you are striving for healthy when they are happily stuck in eating their two favourite food groups, Fried and wrapped.

Is that you in your AV?????????

HisPixie

OMG it is a major problem, especially at home. Been in a major fight with my husband., he takes every jab he can at me. He tells me constantly "You look sick" " This is doing nothing for me" .... FOR HIM... are you serious! Not a single nice word has come from his mouth!

My ex-husband told me I was "skeletal." At 50 years of age, at 5'5" tall and 127 pounds. That's not skeletal! Notice I said "ex-husband."

gezza299

I wish it was me, but then I would probably have shrunken testicles with all the steroids. So no not me.

FlaxMilk

:flowerforyou:

Since I've reached a weight that I am comfortable with, I have had many more "off periods" that are slowing my weight loss down, because the motivation and drive is just not as strong. That is definitely helped by people making lots of comments.

When people say, "Are you still trying to lose?" I just tell them, "I'm just eating healthy and exercising, not really paying attention to the scale."

mandymichel

I've said this to two people lately. One is a female friend of mine who is not exactly underweight but is on the low side of normal and has a history of anorexia. It's not that I think I can really talk her out of being anorexic, but in a moral sense, I would feel bad about myself if I didn't argue with her distorted view of herself and tell her she looks beautiful right now. Another is a friend who lost about 100 pounds and said he wanted to lose about 10 more. Factually speaking, he did need to lose that in order to get to his healthy goal weight but he LOOKED super skinny compared to the way he did before so I said, "Are you kidding?? You're already so skinny!" I feel bad about saying that to him because why should he settle for anything less than the best but he didn't seem bothered by it. Regarding being skeletal at 5' 5" and 127, that is entirely possible. I am 5' 6" and I know I look skeletal at 135 so my goal is 145. It's because of the way my weight is distributed. My face and top half look super boney, plus when you're older, your skin is thinner, which makes you look even skinnier.

Ccuser99

Thanks Guys, you really have helped! great to see some really useful advice as well as encouragement. It really is bizzare that people feel it is ok to comment on weightloss but not weight gain...I think maybe you were correct...we have become blinded to obesity. Well done to everyone for sticking to their goals and working hard to get there. I think you are right about not mentionning it, I will certainly try this in the future, and to those who already know, I will thank them for their kindness and change the subject.

Good luck with the healthy lifestyle guys C xx

GnochhiGnomes

I need to loose 14lbs to reach my target weight.The problem is, it is hard to stay motivated when everyone around me is telling me i don't need to loose weight and I look fine the way I am, I appreciate what they are trying to do, but it has the opposite effect on me. Has anyone else experienced this?

Unless your target weight is bordering on underweight or is detrimental towards your health, ignore them.

Ccuser99

Just thought I'd mention, my BMI is at the top end of the acceptable area, so in theory, I could loose 28lbs and still easily be in my safety zone, so I think I am being sensible at 14lbs

mrsains

And I honestly think that by trying to convince you that you don't need to lose weight, people like that are actually trying to convince themselves that THEY don't. Because if they agreed that someone else who may be similar in size or smaller than them needs to lose some weight (or even if they're smaller than you and still have a few pounds to lose) then how can they justify not doing the same for themselves?

This! Although I believe most people have good intentions, they are really just making excuses for themselves. It makes people uncomfortable to see someone taking control of their health and fitness while they are neglecting their own.

It is very similar to the reactions I have gotten after deciding to stop drinking alcohol for health reasons. The people who give me the most grief about it are the ones who are more than likely uncomfortable with their own amount of drinking!

Do what you need to do for yourself, others will come around when they see how awesome you look!

sugboog29

I am 30ish pounds from my goal and I constantly get told that I will be too thin if I lose that much more. My response to them is "that is where my doctor and I want me to be. That will be a very healthy weight for me. But thank you for your concern." That usually shuts them up....all but my mom that is!! Sometimes I think she is a bit jealous that I am losing weight as she has been overweight all my life and has struggled with it. Her idea of "diet" is just not eating! I've told her that is NOT how you lose, eat and eat healthy, but at 82 you just can't change her mind. But I love her. :flowerforyou:

FuneralDiner

I wish there was a polite way of telling these people to stfu and mind their own business.

CrazyMidget611

I am within the healthy weight range for my height and am currently just here now for a "5 pound tune-up" but over 10 years ago lost 35 pounds. And I find that often people say this kind of thing because they are making excuses for themselves.

I have friends that weigh more than me including some that are definitely overweight. When I first was losing weight (and still now) I head similar things from those friends. Like:

-You don't need to lose weight
-You look hungry
- If I were you I don't know if I'd want to lose more weight, I don't want to look "unhealthy"

And I honestly think that by trying to convince you that you don't need to lose weight, people like that are actually trying to convince themselves that THEY don't. Because if they agreed that someone else who may be similar in size or smaller than them needs to lose some weight (or even if they're smaller than you and still have a few pounds to lose) then how can they justify not doing the same for themselves?

Do what you feel you need to do for YOU and YOUR health. That's what's important.

I couldn't agree more!

dldrucker

Totally agree...

In my case, I need to lose 20 lbs (25 before I started using this site - yay!) to get a healthy weight. So when someone says "you don't need to lose weight, you look fine," I say "I think my doctor is a better judge of that."

iishnova

Ugh I hate that. Especially right now! I just lost enough weight to not be considered obese, so I'm still at the high end of being over weight, and people tell me I don't need to lose weight because I look fine.

I appreciate their sentiment, but blech! I DO need to lose weight! Not just for my physical appearance, but to be healthy as well. I just want to smack them, but instead I just say thanks with a giggle and change the conversation. The giggle being because it's a silly thing to say.

iishnova

I wish there was a polite way of telling these people to stfu and mind their own business.

YES!