Help...I keep giving up.

juliecollins813

I am having a hard time trying to get on track and stay that way for more than a few hours. I lost 20 lbs last year and felt great and i want to feel that way again but I give up within a couple of hours. I give up dieting every couple of hours with excuses.... any ideas on how to keep the motivation to stay on track? I haven't even made it a full day without throwing in the towel.

sheilafeys

Wow, I'm new too, and I feel exactly the same way as you. I start of thinking, "yes, I'm going to do this and get in shape" and then ten minutes later I'm convincing myself I look fine the way I am. I'm as interested in you to see what people have to say!

Tedebearduff

I am having a hard time trying to get on track and stay that way for more than a few hours. I lost 20 lbs last year and felt great and i want to feel that way again but I give up within a couple of hours. I give up dieting every couple of hours with excuses.... any ideas on how to keep the motivation to stay on track? I haven't even made it a full day without throwing in the towel.

There is nothing anyone can say this has to be your decision as to what you want. You have to want it, you have to be determined there is no other way....reach inside yourself and find what your looking for to get where you want to be.

Your the only person who can make this change it's up to you to find the strength to do it.

juliecollins813

I know your right... I have to find the strength but I wonder because it has been so hard maybe it's not the time. When I lost the weight before I was totally motivated and excited. Now I know I need to and I want to but i don't want to put in the effort. I have a lot of stress with work ... should I stop stressing myself more about weight loss until things ease up? On the other hand I know losing some weight and exercise would help to release some work stress. I think I answered my own question.

marycmeadows

Seriously? A couple hours? Sounds like it's just not that important to you.

If it was, you wouldn't think about it as dieting - that's temporary. It has to be a lifestyle change - something you can maintain, and keep the weight off.

The motivation has to come from within - you can't rely on others for your happiness, and you can't rely on others for motivation. Other people that you're relying on for these things won't always be there to support you. You have to do it yourself.

Not being rude or mean, just honest. We make time for and commit to the things that are important to us..... i.e. getting a paycheck is important, so you may hate your job but you don't go in for two hours and then not want to be there anymore so you go home.... It just doesn't work like that.

If you're not willing to put in the work - don't expect the results.

bobie1978

Find good foods that you enjoy... there are plenty of foods out there that taste wonderful with not so many fat and calories. Also, find an exercise that you enjoy. If you don't like it, you will give up. I do a variety of things like kickboxing, zumba, walking, jogging, boot camp, cycling.. the list goes on. If you do something you enjoy you will probably want to continue.

Also, its your choice.. you either want it or you don't. I have been struggling too.. I think at some point we all do Good luck!

thedancingleper

Motivation really seems to come and go. The test is if you can force yourself to keep going in an unmotivated phase. I read somewhere that "discipline is doing what you know needs to be done even if you don't want to do it". You'll find no greater weight loss truth than that one.

dlwyatt82

Until you find your motivation, that's probably going to be how it goes. That's been my experience for a decade... when depression rolled into town, whatever motivation I had would disappear, and I'd be back to square one (or worse). Some people preach the "fake it til you make it" mentality, but it never worked for me.

Have you talked to a doctor? There are certain chemical imbalances that can make you feel that way, and taking the right vitamin or prescription can be helpful for some people. In my case, taking Vitamin D every day seems to be a huge help in keeping me feeling "up", particularly in the winter months.

At some point, you'll find a reason to change that sticks with you, and keeps you focused even through your low points.

Tedebearduff

I know your right... I have to find the strength but I wonder because it has been so hard maybe it's not the time. When I lost the weight before I was totally motivated and excited. Now I know I need to and I want to but i don't want to put in the effort. I have a lot of stress with work ... should I stop stressing myself more about weight loss until things ease up? On the other hand I know losing some weight and exercise would help to release some work stress. I think I answered my own question.

LoL You pretty much did answer it, going to the gym/working out has been proven to help relieve stress and anxiety. You could do little things at work like take the stairs instead of the elevator ? at first start just taking the stairs down ( allot easier ) little changes can make a big difference.

You could also just start with changing up 1 meal to something healthy then move on to two meals ect ect. Maybe this way you wont feel so trapped by fallowing a strict diet kind of thing. I'd also suggest making a lifestyle change instead of fallowing some stupid fad diet. Take all the good parts/ ideas from the fad diets and make your own meal plans.

AliciaCharmaine

I have purchased a dress that I cannot fit and hung it up front and center in my closet and it serves as a reminder of my goal. Maybe you could take a picture of your dream outfit and keep it in sight.

ADG3108

I get a motivational quote... like... "Think Progress. NOT Perfection!" Find a picture of yourself where you were happiest too! It's great motivation and helps you see that YOU can do that. Not feeling like crap by looking at some model who is borderline anorexic.

GOOD LUCK!

jaj68

it is all about mind set. How determined are you? How much do you want this?
Around my computer, I have sticky notes. One is the date of my son's upcoming marriage. Another says "smile" because I hate getting my picture taken. Another says......"sore knees, sore feet" All of these sticky notes encourage. Maybe you could put some on your fridge.
And......next time you grocery shop.....don't buy those foods that are unhealthy. One huge motivation for me is a tv show that is on Sunday nights....not sure if I can mention the name....but it is a really good way for me to stay on track. It is the journey of one person losing half of their body weight. I love this show......and seeing the struggles and choices another person makes...really helps me stay on track.
It all boils down to.....how badly do you want to lose weight, and why do you want to lose. Then as you stare at that brownie, or cookie......or bowl of chips.......think to yourself....do I REALLY want them? And you are going to eat things...then feel guilty. So don't let a moment of temptation ruin your day. Just make sure you only indulge that one time.....and don't eat any more of it for the rest of the day.
Good luck to you.

kattbyrd67

Don't go on a diet! Diets are doomed to fail, because they are temporary changes. Make small life style changes that you live with long term. Don't make any food off limits; just watch your portion sizes and your calories. Try to move more, even it that only means walking to the mail box right now. As you lose weight and become stronger, increase your exercise. You can do this!

TimmDogg

Yeah, u did answer your own question. My best suggestion is to plan ahead for a "cheat" meal/snack. If once a week is too tough, start with every other day, then every two days etc. Also don't look at it as a diet. that makes it seem temporary. Like once you hit your goal you aren't worried about gaining the weight you lost back. It is a "change in lifestyle" that will keep you healthy the rest of your life.

juliecollins813

I appreciate your honesty. I realize that it sounds like I am not invested in losing weight and I think that has been my main problem. I think what I have been lacking is a plan of action.

jaj68

your great plan of action is that you are here asking questions.

It shows you want to make a change....that was the first step.
Document all your food and exercise here.......boy when you start writing down every morsel of food that passes your lips you start rethinking what you are putting in it.

Make small goals.....like....I will go for a walk after dinner three times this week....or I will ride the exercise bike for 15 min. Hopefully soon, you will walk four times a week....or ride that bike for an hour.

bellorum

This is just my suggestions...
For me, I got a coach that I was accountable to. It was a free telephone coaching service offered to me, so I took advantage of it.
What we did, was we set goals for every week. They were SMALL goals, but each one has added up to a bigger one.
Then, I got rid of all of the junk food in my house. How? Well, that was easy, cause my wife took the kids on vacation for a few weeks... They took it all with them, and I went shopping for healthy food. EVERY ITEM that I bought, was focused. I look at it and say, "how can I turn this into something delicious and healthy?".

I made it fun too. When I make a dish that looks awesome, and tastes delicious, I feel GREAT. It's like being a home chef, lol. And when those dishes are healthy... I can't emphasize enough how good that has made me feel. Doing this, and increasing my activity, allowed me to lose 5lbs last week.

The last thing I have to say is exercise... You don't have to throw weights around, or go for walks or whatever. MAKE IT FUN! I ride my bike to work, which burns a TON of calories, and I love it. It's very rewarding. Also, I went for a run the other day (BOORING!), but when I saw trees in the distance, I ran to them, found a trail, and had a little adventure. I listen to music when I run, which gives me a beat to run to, and when I have some good scenery, it's just an overall enjoyable experience... But trust me, tennis players are fit for a reason! lol.


Hope this helps.

kms1104

I started tracking my food on here for MONTHS before I took it super seriously. I considered it EDUCATION... learning how much calories some things really are, etc.

Then over the summer (I'm a teacher), I have had time to exercise more, etc. When I can actually SEE how many "more" calories I get by exercising, it motivates me. Then, I can't even eat them all because I've been doing this for a month now, and I'm FULL.

Also, think of ways to make what you love healthier. I am about HEALTH not the number on the scale. I refuse to deny what I like. So, I make a cheeseburger at home, even when my boyfriend put TWO pieces of cheese on them last night, they were still healthier than the 1000 calories that some dining out burgers are. Then there was a night I wanted pizza. I have NO self control when there's a whole pizza here if I'm eating without the boyfriend, so I made two Red Baron French bread pizzas instead... YUMMY, had TWO, still under my calorie goal and I'm stuffed.

I am one who believes in baby steps are the key. Changing all at once is no good. I started eating a little healthier in March... exercising a little by end of April, exercising MORE in June and now doing both well enough to lose a few pounds and still be happy, then of course the smaller numbers keep me motivated

NCchar130

I am new too and hoping to hang on to my new found motivation but I definitely know what you mean! My weight has been up and down over the years and the main thing I tell myself for motivation these last couple of weeks is "You are better than this!"

Also,l it helps to remind myself WHY I'm trying to do this in the first place because at the times it seems especially hard, it's easy to just throw in the towel. Maybe looking at your reasons for wanting it in the first place would help.

For example, I love to hike and I would like to be able to do challenging hikes without gasping for breath and having pain in my hips and knees which is related to my weight. When an old friend I haven't seen since my skinny years lets me know they'll be in town and want to meet for dinner, I'd like to be able to say "YES" without any hesitation due to embarrassment about the way I look. I want more energy, less joint pain, and better numbers at the doctor.

This is what I think about when my motivation fails. Sometimes friends and relatives can harm my motivation because they like to say "you are beautiful just the way you are." It's sweet and all but I feel that it's BECAUSE of healthy self-esteem that I can look at my body and look at what I've done to it with my lack of self-control and say, I CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS!

caraiselite

let's see. you have several options.

do nothing.
be fat and miserable.
change your life.
get healthy.
eat well.

i'm surprised it only takes you hours to get discouraged.

Helloitsdan

Come back when you are ready!

The bottom hurts and youll know when you hit it!

ellenjean19

take baby steps. its been helping me alot, when i first started i was the same way, convincing myself im okay the way i am. But im not happy with myself. start by cutting out fast food. or pop. or both. i have pictures of myself when i was thinner and happir and its such an inspiration. every time i look at them i think to myself i want to be that girl again.

Also, if youre stressing about work, going to the gym really helps! I have a stressful job too and i've found that on days i go to the gym after work im a lot happier and more energized.

codak626

My advice is take it slow. Don't try to change everything at once. Take small steps. Change one thing and make it stick. For me it was Dr Pepper. Without changing anything else I stopped drinking soda and 7 lbs in about 2 months. Once that happened I was like WOW. Then I started seriously watching my sugar and processed foods. Went more to whole grains etc. I'm still not going at it 100% but I'm reading more food labels, thinking more about what I eat, and hopefully I will eventually get gung ho 100%.

juliecollins813

Thank you everyone for you input. I think I have hit my bottom by today and it's now time to put together my action plan. I just talked with my husband and we are going to sit down Saturday to put together a healthy grocery list, clean out our cupboards, and renew my gym membership. I have lost before, I can do it again this time I plan to keep it off. Again thank you for the help whether you offered positive encouragement or just blunt honesty, something clicked. I'll let you know how tomorrow goes.

samaria26

You can do it! You sound a lot like me. This is not my first rodeo on My Fitness Pal. I think that I have been on here off and on about three times. I tried several other weight loss tools like Fit Click, SparkPeople, FitDay etc. but after a while, I got tired (and quite bored) with logging everything. So to make things simple, I just stopped and quit doing the food/exercise journals. I quit working out. I quit taking my necessary meds. I quit monitoring my glucose and guess what...I went to a health fair a couple of weeks ago and ALL of my levels were beyond normal. The weight that I lost, I gained it back plus more. My glucose was creeping above the 152 range. My blood pressure.....well let's not discuss that.:embarassed:

Anyway, just hang in there and remember, you can ALWAYS start fresh on the next day!!!! "There's Always Tomorrow For Dreams To Come True" sanged oh so sweetly by Clarice, Rudolphs love interest on Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.....how I still love that movie.....:blushing:

BeanQueen3000

I started tracking my food on here for MONTHS before I took it super seriously. I considered it EDUCATION... learning how much calories some things really are, etc.

Then over the summer (I'm a teacher), I have had time to exercise more, etc. When I can actually SEE how many "more" calories I get by exercising, it motivates me. Then, I can't even eat them all because I've been doing this for a month now, and I'm FULL.

Also, think of ways to make what you love healthier. I am about HEALTH not the number on the scale. I refuse to deny what I like. So, I make a cheeseburger at home, even when my boyfriend put TWO pieces of cheese on them last night, they were still healthier than the 1000 calories that some dining out burgers are. Then there was a night I wanted pizza. I have NO self control when there's a whole pizza here if I'm eating without the boyfriend, so I made two Red Baron French bread pizzas instead... YUMMY, had TWO, still under my calorie goal and I'm stuffed.

I am one who believes in baby steps are the key. Changing all at once is no good. I started eating a little healthier in March... exercising a little by end of April, exercising MORE in June and now doing both well enough to lose a few pounds and still be happy, then of course the smaller numbers keep me motivated

This is all pretty spot-on advice. Just spend some time eating as you would normally, and log it all. everything. juice, veggies, lard, whatever. log it all. And log it publicly. Ignore the goals MFP sets for a week or so and just take a look at the choices you make, and try and think about the situations you were eating in when you made the worst choices. Do you eat stress? Is that fast food habit a result of not planning well for dinner, or not feeling confident enough in your cooking skills? How big is the "junk" budget on your grocery bill? I've found i have a much easier time eating better now that i know what makes me "screw up" the worst, and those personal lessons wouldn't have sunk in without a record of what i was doing to myself.

It seems a lot of people on here are only saying that you have to want it. They may not understand that some people's attitudes about food and eating are much more complicated than just sating hunger.

tamtamzz

I think a few others have said it, but you have to want to do it. I know when I try to do something I'm not really committed to it never works out, and there is nothing, and I mean nothing, anyone can tell me to change my mind.

I stayed comfortable at the weight I was for eight years. Then the high blood pressure came. Then the sciatica came. Then the bone pain came. I also have scoliosis, and that was getting worse because of being overweight. I was a shut-in during the summer because I would burst into a sweat just walking to the car. I was fine with the way I looked; that has never been a problem. In fact, I was the happiest I have ever been at my highest weight. If I were to use looks as motivation I would have never lost the weight. I am also an active person at heart. When your true self is trapped in a body that will not cooperate it can be depressing.

Find your motivation. If it's looks, use it. If it's your health, use it. And if you're happiest at the weight you are, that's fine too. However, if your health is being affected by your weight, mentally or physically, then you should make an effort to change it. Life is too short.

tdfowler12

Dont give up I too am new to the site and have only recently started dieting. I have over a 100 pound I need to loose and have only lost 10 pounds. But I am going to do it we all can we just have to change our life style.

LooseWheel

No more diets. Thats something you have a start and stop date for. You stop and the weight comes back on with a vengence. The best thing, as someone else has mentioned is to make a permanent lifestyle change.

If its the movement thats hard to do and stick with, then its your heart and head that need to change tactics.
Find ways to improve motivation by being able to see your goals. This is where you need to get a little arty Get a poster sized piece of paper/cardboard and write up your goals, for weight loss do it in stages so you can 'tick off' when they've been achieved and this is really encouraging to actually see it. Have 5kgs/10kgs/15kgs etc, what ever suits. Have other pictures or photos of yourself when you were most happiest phyisically or even pics of other physiques you like and want to achieve. Sports women/gym instructors etc, there are plenty of women out there with really great physiques that we can aim for. Put all your goals up there, if its a holiday, put a pic of the destination, put an amount up for a specific money savings goal (along with small goals like the weight). A career, a study path and car you want to get. Put them all up so you can see them every day. In your bedroom/dining/kitchen, where ever you are able to see it daily. In the very centre write up a motivating personal mantra. I just want to give an example so mine is: "I am a strong, independent and beautiful woman". Hey at first I didn't truly believe it myself. as I said it out loud it grew on me and now I can say it with a wink and a smile in the mirror. It is so empowering mate! truly. Your words work both ways, saying to yourself all the time, I'm failing, I'm not gonna do this, I cant lose weight - well you will believe it soon enough. Change those words to positive directive ones - I can lose weight, I will do this, I'm gonna get what I bloody well want and do it starting now!

You are what you eat

You are what you think

If its the food you struggle with, up the movement.
You really need to look at your calourie/food 'input' and your calourie/fitness 'output'. Its simple mathmatics. If your calourie intake with foods is 8000 kjs/1904 cals, then the physical output needs to be equal to stay the same weight or more if you want to lose weight. (Pretty much, not 100% exact of course). If your daily intake on MFP is (for example) 1300 cals/5460 kjs, then you need to burn up a decent whack of cals to make it work for big weight loss. If your cal intake works out to be 2000cals or 3000 cals with the food choices you make, then you would have to run a marathon daily to break even and lose weight. Just understand that part.

I had a 1260 cal intake to start with and was able to do a bike ride for over an hour and kicked *kitten* doing 1000 cal burn! Thats when my weight loss kicked into over drive. The times i am not moving, like now after injuring myself ice skating, I am not losing due to lack of exercise but also, I am not gaining either due to watching the meal size and what my 'full feeling' really is.

The motivation will build with starting with some goals and taking steps daily. You will have down days, you will have days that are out. Dont let them get to you. Get over them and tell yourself to do just that. If you are focusing on the few hours of not following a diet or food routine, then it truly isn't do-able. You are setting yourself up to fail from the start as by now, you know how well you stick with things so far, you know how much motivation you give yourself or how much effort you push yourself to put in. So find some goals, get them written down to become visual and its almost like you've got 'someone' to answer to. This someone is yourself through something as simple as a piece of paper up in your room. I hope this helps. You do have to put in more effort now. Just know that you can of course. being on MFP means you are wanting to achieve something for yourself, just have to find the best way to do it. Good luck. Start today

If none of this works, then you need to take a self assessment to look at what and why you aren't able to stick with things. Has it always been this way through life. Has it always felt like a struggle. Then an easy way of doing things to lose weight really isn't going to work is it? You need to kick yourself up a gear and throw yourself into a new mental mode that wants to achieve goals. Look at motivation and procrastination books for further info. I hope you find your way matey.