advice about creepy guy at gym

taco_tap
taco_tap Posts: 152 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, there's this guy..... who creeps me out. He works at my gym (which is a pretty small gym.) He seems to be pretty chummy with the owners (who are all brothers.) He talks to mom about how he wants to date me. How he "respects" me. Seems like a nice guy. Just creepy. who talks to a girls mother about her? So, I have been pretty tolerant about the guy. Til he followed me out to my car, for the second time. I have never hinted that I was interested. He even thinks I am dating someone. So I dont know what to do.

I hate hurting people's feelings. I have considered getting out of the contract but its nearly 500 bucks. (Wouldnt mind joining a bigger gym anyways.) I really really dont want to be mean. Do I just grow a pair? Is there a way to soften the blow and not come off as a total B? He is persistent, I will give him that. I could start wearing a wedding ring. :huh:
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Replies

  • Pantera69
    Pantera69 Posts: 177 Member
    So, there's this guy..... who creeps me out. He works at my gym (which is a pretty small gym.) He seems to be pretty chummy with the owners (who are all brothers.) He talks to mom about how he wants to date me. How he "respects" me. Seems like a nice guy. Just creepy. who talks to a girls mother about her? So, I have been pretty tolerant about the guy. Til he followed me out to my car, for the second time. I have never hinted that I was interested. He even thinks I am dating someone. So I dont know what to do.

    I hate hurting people's feelings. I have considered getting out of the contract but its nearly 500 bucks. (Wouldnt mind joining a bigger gym anyways.) I really really dont want to be mean. Do I just grow a pair? Is there a way to soften the blow and not come off as a total B? He is persistent, I will give him that. I could start wearing a wedding ring. :huh:

    Yea, that could lead to unpleasant things. Just tell him your taken. Or let the owners know. You wont come off as a b if you let him know how you feel. Otherwise you dont know when it will stop or how far it will go. Also carry a tazer ;)
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    He talks to mom about how he wants to date me. How he "respects" me. Seems like a nice guy.

    Yea, that sounds super creepy. I hate it when nice guys respect me. :huh:
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Sorry, I'll stop.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    Sorry, I'll stop.
    This wins.
  • wtfusernameisnttaken
    wtfusernameisnttaken Posts: 192
    If he's making you uncomfortable, SAY SO. If it continues after you ask him to back off, speak with the owners about it and ask them to let you out of contract without the fee. Let them know their employee is harassing you and you want out.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
    Find a male friend that will go to the gym with you. Act like bf and gf. If he doesn't get the hint, talk to the mgt. It doesn't matter if he is friends with them.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    Next time he follows you or something, tell him that your boyfriend wouldn't like it if some guy is following you. Tell your mom to stop being chummy with him.
  • msmith2020
    msmith2020 Posts: 365 Member
    Super creeper... I used to work with a guy like this.. never came out and said he liked me.. but always gave me this "longing" look and "chatted" up with me when we worked together, or I stopped by to get groceries (food store) and later we ended up at college together in band... Needless to say VERY creepy but I grew a pair and told him I had a boyfriend (which I didn't at the time but it worked) WHEW! That was a close one! hahah
  • cheerforsteelers
    cheerforsteelers Posts: 686 Member
    Sorry, I'll stop.

    :laugh:

    But yeah, I would just be up front with him and say listen, I'm here to workout and I'm not looking for anything more.
  • ElyseL1
    ElyseL1 Posts: 504 Member
    BE MEAN! in a nice way lol if that makes sense. just say sorry im not interested would you mind please leaving me alone? I dont want to be in a relationship right now and given your attraction to me I dont even think we could be friends at this moment because its awkward for me. I'm sorry.
  • msmith2020
    msmith2020 Posts: 365 Member
    Next time he follows you or something, tell him that your boyfriend wouldn't like it if some guy is following you. Tell your mom to stop being chummy with him.

    however on your OP... ^^^^ This!
  • taco_tap
    taco_tap Posts: 152 Member
    He talks to mom about how he wants to date me. How he "respects" me. Seems like a nice guy.

    Yea, that sounds super creepy. I hate it when nice guys respect me. :huh:

    Haha... It's just a weird thing to say.
  • Rogiefreida
    Rogiefreida Posts: 567 Member
    If he gives you the creeps, I'd go with your gut. I'm the type of person who will just be a B to someone who gives me the creeps so that they get the hint that I'm not interested, so that's probably not helpful to you.

    I would try to not engage him in conversation if you're not interested in him. If he persists, I'd let the staff know the situation at the gym, and let them know that it creeps you out enough that you are considering canceling your contract, and I bet you they would help you out with the situation, if he doesn't get the message by you not talking to him.

    By the way, I do think if you just don't talk to him or tell him that you're really trying to focus on your workouts and end any conversation he starts, he may get the picture, and that's not being mean, but being firm.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • Crystal_Pistol
    Crystal_Pistol Posts: 750 Member
    If he's making you uncomfortable, SAY SO. If it continues after you ask him to back off, speak with the owners about it and ask them to let you out of contract without the fee. Let them know their employee is harassing you and you want out.

    My thoughts exactly. You aren't acting like a ***** is some strange mofo is stalking you and you tell him to stop. Being a ***** would be how badly I would cuss him and the owners out if I were the one telling him to stop.
  • Salvi30
    Salvi30 Posts: 196 Member
    Just ignore him. He will get the hint.
  • poedunk65
    poedunk65 Posts: 1,336 Member
    Some people need to be told quite bluntly. I am not interrested leave me alone. If you don;t care about him who cares if his feelings are hurt.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
    Next time he follows you to your car mace him. He should get the hint then and stay away.

    Just kidding.

    Maybe.
  • KombuchaCat
    KombuchaCat Posts: 834 Member
    Ewe, so creepy, especially the following you out to the car thing. Obviously he's not getting the hint, you should just be strait with him that you are not OK with this.
  • AngelaKoder
    AngelaKoder Posts: 24
    I think it would be more mean NOT to put an end to it. If you don't he will keep thinking he has a chance.
  • sailinjen
    sailinjen Posts: 103 Member
    I had a similiar situation in which I would always stop to get coffee at a gas station. The same guy was working everytime I went in so I was always nice. Long story short, he followed me home, went through my mail to learn my name, and would drive by my house constantly. In other words, he started stalking me. I had to take out a personal protection order on him. If someone gives you the creeps, go with that and tell the owners you want OUT!!!!
  • Crystal_Pistol
    Crystal_Pistol Posts: 750 Member
    Don't feel pressured to act like you have a BF. "You are making me uncomfortable and I want you to stop what you are doing" is perfectly fine.
  • walker54
    walker54 Posts: 64 Member
    I agree. If he's making you feel uncomfortable, tell him straight up. Then if he persists, talk to the owners about getting out of your contract because he's harrassing you. Also let your mom know what you are doing. You don't want her encouraging something behind your back.
  • obrendao
    obrendao Posts: 318
    Just go up to him, take him aside where nobody can eavesdrop and say "Hey you know, I noticed you being interested in me, but I have to be honest, the feeling is just not there for me. And I want to keep working out, we shouldn't make this awkward. Right?"

    Just be friendly the whole time and if he acts like a total douche then go from there with finding another gym. LOL
  • bugsymalone521
    bugsymalone521 Posts: 57
    If he's making you uncomfortable, SAY SO. If it continues after you ask him to back off, speak with the owners about it and ask them to let you out of contract without the fee. Let them know their employee is harassing you and you want out.

    This. I'd also make sure your mother isn't do anything to feed into it. The bottom line is you, your mom, and (if necessary) the owners of the gym all have to send this guy the exact same message very clearly...that you are not interested and are being made uncomfortable.

    Guys have no game these days.
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    Just say something like "I'm not sure if or how you got the wrong impression but I'm not available. Just wanted to clear that up. See ya around!"
  • Meloyelo2010
    Meloyelo2010 Posts: 171 Member
    I'd speak up especially about following you out to your car maybe your mom or friend could be there with you as a support because it is an uncomfortable conversation. If he doesn't get the hint then take it to his bosses and if it goes farther PPO. Not fun.
  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
    The dudes just trying to get the balls up to ask you out.

    Once he finally works up his courage just politly turn him down and say your not interested.
  • brittmar25
    brittmar25 Posts: 71 Member
    When you say he follows you to your car.. does he walk a few feet behind you and duck if you turn around or does he chat with you as you walk to your car? It's much better to be cautious than to assume someone is just being a nice.

    It's a weird thing that he verbalized that he respects you. I respect a lot of people but I don't feel the need to tell them that (or tell someone else).

    You should be able to enjoy your experience at the gym. That is your time. You don't need to be thinking about other things or whether or not someone is going to approach you. You're not at a singles bar.

    Trust your gut and do what makes you feel comfortable. Good luck!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    Yeah tell him you're taken...............................by another woman, second thought that sometimes doesn't work either. I say be direct and blunt but not rude. Letting him know you have cajones and your mind ain't changing
  • minkakross
    minkakross Posts: 687 Member
    Seriously some guys have no idea when they have crossed into creeper land so just be assertive and honest and tell him that you don't appreciate his attention and you're not looking for a relationship and to please respect your space. Then notify the gym staff so that if you have to ask to get out of your contract at least you've established cause. If it continues especially the stalker esq walks to the car then you use stronger language and notify the gym of your safety concerns and request out of said contract.

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