advice about creepy guy at gym

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24

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  • Crystal_Pistol
    Crystal_Pistol Posts: 750 Member
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    Don't feel pressured to act like you have a BF. "You are making me uncomfortable and I want you to stop what you are doing" is perfectly fine.
  • walker54
    walker54 Posts: 64 Member
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    I agree. If he's making you feel uncomfortable, tell him straight up. Then if he persists, talk to the owners about getting out of your contract because he's harrassing you. Also let your mom know what you are doing. You don't want her encouraging something behind your back.
  • obrendao
    obrendao Posts: 318
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    Just go up to him, take him aside where nobody can eavesdrop and say "Hey you know, I noticed you being interested in me, but I have to be honest, the feeling is just not there for me. And I want to keep working out, we shouldn't make this awkward. Right?"

    Just be friendly the whole time and if he acts like a total douche then go from there with finding another gym. LOL
  • bugsymalone521
    bugsymalone521 Posts: 57
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    If he's making you uncomfortable, SAY SO. If it continues after you ask him to back off, speak with the owners about it and ask them to let you out of contract without the fee. Let them know their employee is harassing you and you want out.

    This. I'd also make sure your mother isn't do anything to feed into it. The bottom line is you, your mom, and (if necessary) the owners of the gym all have to send this guy the exact same message very clearly...that you are not interested and are being made uncomfortable.

    Guys have no game these days.
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
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    Just say something like "I'm not sure if or how you got the wrong impression but I'm not available. Just wanted to clear that up. See ya around!"
  • Meloyelo2010
    Meloyelo2010 Posts: 171 Member
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    I'd speak up especially about following you out to your car maybe your mom or friend could be there with you as a support because it is an uncomfortable conversation. If he doesn't get the hint then take it to his bosses and if it goes farther PPO. Not fun.
  • Fatal1ty2k5
    Fatal1ty2k5 Posts: 333 Member
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    The dudes just trying to get the balls up to ask you out.

    Once he finally works up his courage just politly turn him down and say your not interested.
  • brittmar25
    brittmar25 Posts: 71 Member
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    When you say he follows you to your car.. does he walk a few feet behind you and duck if you turn around or does he chat with you as you walk to your car? It's much better to be cautious than to assume someone is just being a nice.

    It's a weird thing that he verbalized that he respects you. I respect a lot of people but I don't feel the need to tell them that (or tell someone else).

    You should be able to enjoy your experience at the gym. That is your time. You don't need to be thinking about other things or whether or not someone is going to approach you. You're not at a singles bar.

    Trust your gut and do what makes you feel comfortable. Good luck!
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    Yeah tell him you're taken...............................by another woman, second thought that sometimes doesn't work either. I say be direct and blunt but not rude. Letting him know you have cajones and your mind ain't changing
  • minkakross
    minkakross Posts: 687 Member
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    Seriously some guys have no idea when they have crossed into creeper land so just be assertive and honest and tell him that you don't appreciate his attention and you're not looking for a relationship and to please respect your space. Then notify the gym staff so that if you have to ask to get out of your contract at least you've established cause. If it continues especially the stalker esq walks to the car then you use stronger language and notify the gym of your safety concerns and request out of said contract.
  • thedreamhazer
    thedreamhazer Posts: 1,156 Member
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    Don't give hints or wear kid gloves. Tell him he's creeping you out and that he needs to leave you alone. You don't know how serious this is or isn't in his head, so don't treat it lightly or delicately. Be firm that he needs to leave you alone. If he doesn't leave you alone after that, go to the police. It might some harsh, but you need to deal with this like that.

    I had a friend lose her sister to a stalker that she tried to handle delicately on her own because she didn't think he would ever actually hurt her.

    I'm not trying to scare you. You don't need to be scared, you just need to know that you have the right to take this seriously, even if it hurts his feelings.
  • AubreySue81
    AubreySue81 Posts: 167 Member
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    Next time he follows you to your car mace him. He should get the hint then and stay away.

    Just kidding.

    Maybe.

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    But, seriously. Some people just need to be told straight out, bluntly. Don't feel bad, just do it!
  • 2012asv
    2012asv Posts: 702 Member
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    If he's making you uncomfortable, SAY SO. If it continues after you ask him to back off, speak with the owners about it and ask them to let you out of contract without the fee. Let them know their employee is harassing you and you want out.
  • ZForce915
    ZForce915 Posts: 23
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    Serious reply.

    The next time he approaches you tell him "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I'm not interested in a relationship". It's direct and non-accusatory.

    If that doesn't work you really should speak to management and tell them you were direct with him once and he's making you feel unsafe.
  • FuneralDiner
    FuneralDiner Posts: 438 Member
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    When he's stood near you, pretend to get a phone call, make the conversation short and sweet (you don't wanna be talking to yourself for too long) and end it with "I love you too, baby. See you tonight." followed by a big sloppy kiss down the phone.

    Done.
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
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    Just be honest but respectful. Tell him thanks but you aren’t interested. Some people don’t take subtle hints. He could think you are just shy.
    Wouldn’t you rather hear it straight up instead of making an *kitten* out of yourself? Save the poor guy the humiliation.
    If he continues then its super creepy and you need to let the owners know he is harassing the member(s).
    I don’t think they would like to lose members over someone wanting a date.
    Good luck and always be careful.
  • rhonniema
    rhonniema Posts: 522 Member
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    He's creeping you out and you don't want to come off as a b!tch? lol.

    "I'm sorry if you were misinformed or misguided, but I am not interested in a relationship at this point in time."

    Hopefully it's not your mom egging him on or something.
  • thedreamhazer
    thedreamhazer Posts: 1,156 Member
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    Serious reply.

    The next time he approaches you tell him "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I'm not interested in a relationship". It's direct and non-accusatory.

    If that doesn't work you really should speak to management and tell them you were direct with him once and he's making you feel unsafe.

    Only thing I would say to this is that she doesn't have to apologize for anything. Don't say "I'm sorry" if you didn't do anything wrong.
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
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    He talks to mom about how he wants to date me. How he "respects" me. Seems like a nice guy.

    Yea, that sounds super creepy. I hate it when nice guys respect me. :huh:

    Oh come on....If a guy told me he "respects" me I would laugh right in his face. He's obviously saying what her mother wants to hear so she'll tell her daughter to date him.
  • rlmadrid
    rlmadrid Posts: 694 Member
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    Sorry, I'll stop.

    Well you're just the bees knees. You can follow me to my car :blushing:

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