How to cure lack of patience, and very negative thinking?

conniehv40

I had to post so it will stay in "My topics". All had such GREAT replies.

I haven't lost too much weight, but stopped gaining, stopped the negative and started feeling better.

How I did it was just kept trying, but I have a book "Brain Solution"

I bought it when my dad died last year--I walk to have a healthier body and I am eating better for a healthier body (brain, anti-cancer, all the things I can think of) so that when I am older, my children will enjoy me versus pity me : )

So, with that said, it isn't JUST the number on the scale--it is better for your heart, brain, lungs etc.
Love these posts-Thatnks for the thread!

rinnismom

k, so....

i clicked this primarily because you sound like you're dealing with the same demons that i am. not that my advice will be useful and it will sound like i'm over-simplifying but....

time and consistency.

time is the only thing that can overcome the lack of patience (which teaches you to be patient).
consistency is the only cure for negative thinking.

i've been with mfp for right over a year and my long-term friends on here tell me that my way of thinking about my slow-moving loss and my barely-noticable achievements has changed so much.

i had to get real with myself. i'm not one of those people on here that can lose 25 lbs. in three months (how do you guys DO that???) and i'm not one of those people that can just "work-out more" or "eat cleaner" or any of the other things i have been told. i have to consistently eat at a deficent, consume tons of water, work out pretty much daily and HOPE that i don't gain. so, 1 year in and i've lost 13 lbs and less than 4 inches. but, you know what? that's just okay with me.

if i had not started last year, i wouldn't be able to say this. i wouldn't be able to say that i've tried. i would just be fussing and whining and trying the newest diet fad and wasting myself in worry and stress when it didn't work. the healthy eating and active lifestyle have obliterated my phantom aches and pains that i was experiencing (and worrying over). my mental health is clearer. the way i feel when i wake up has done a 180. mostly though, and i had to tell myself this so many times over the year,maybe i'm not a babe, maybe i have hardly put a dent in my overall goal, but i'm trying. i'm tweaking my diet and gaining knowledge about things i didn't even realize existed, i am becoming in charge of what's going on with what i consume. i realize what people were talking about when they say "that's bad for you". i'm not oblivious.

yes, with knowledge come responsibility but i'd rather know than not. i'd rather feel like i'm running the show. and i'm getting there. a little more everyday, the struggle shows me how important it is to beat the mindframe. regardless if weight falls off or sits stagnant, i'm eating better and feeling better. each day i feel like i've tried to do well for myself.

moreso, think of this. when that little voice says "why bother?", in reality, do you really want to give up feeling as good as you do? do you want to lose the hope that you'll have a NSV moment? does giving in and having that second portion that will put you over for the day really ease the craving to look and feel better? does it supercede that "hell yeah" moment when you busted your *kitten* and pushed through that workout? does "feeling better" get a backseat to irresponsible eating? no, no it does not al all.

so, in the words of the gorillaz song, clint eastwood, "remember that it's all in your head."

RealWomenLovePitbulls

just stick with it, who cares how long it takes? whats ur rush. because a month from now, 2 months from now, 6 months from now, you will either look back at yourself and say "if i had only started back then, i would be closer to my goal right now" or you can look back and say "wow, i'm glad i made myself stick with it, i feel great"

UrbanSpaceman75

Really good advice here, and in particular I'd echo the 'one step at a time', 'one lb at a time', 'one day at a time' suggestions.

I think the best way to deal with any major project (moving house, changing jobs, losing weight, whatever) is to break it down into manageable bite size (sorry) achievable targets. Things that you can do, and can be crossed off the list.

It's a cliche, but we are all are where we are. It's very difficult to change things overnight, and if we try, we fail, and we get discouraged. My advice is to pick something positive - anything - that you know you can do, do it, and make it a habit. For me, it was making time for a couple of slices of toast for breakfast. Then it was things like - 'get this from the Chinese takeaway, not that', or 'go for a run on the rebounder on Saturdays and Sundays, and at least twice on weekday evenings'.

Pick something, make it a habit, make it so you can do it effortlessly, and (ideally) enjoy it. You'll feel great about having achieved something, and that gives you momentum to do something else. I've changed my diet and activity levels in ways I would never have thought possible even six months ago, and I've done it through making little things habit.

Changing deeply embedded habits, patterns, and desires is difficult. And never let anyone tell you otherwise. Be gentle with yourself, and be patient with yourself. There will be setbacks, but it's about how we respond to them that counts.