Online dating WTF? messages

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24

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  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Lol @ at all the girls "repulsed" by the perverts. Men like sex. They commonly think with their second head more than their first. This is not news.
  • lau4491
    lau4491 Posts: 31 Member
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    Oh my god It's endless. I saved some of my favorites.

    “heyy was up im joshua im cute and ur gorgous i also love sloths and dragons.i can draw really well and i have a celtic cross on my arm messege me” Golden resume right there.
    “Maybe I'm too late to be your first. But right now, I'm preparing myself to be your last"
    “I shouldn't really be writing to you.....I would just be so BAD with you....lol” <- 17 at the time and the guy was like 38. Really?
    “yum yum” <- I'm a human, not food. Who responds to that?

    omg i literally cracked up when i read the last line of your post, ahaha i needed that laugh:)
  • kassandra81
    kassandra81 Posts: 176
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    Tons.

    Best one: I had a guy message me offering to come over and clean my apartment for free- if he could wear a pair of my underwear while doing it. :)

    Imagine the quality of work he would do if he could wear your bra too!?!?!
  • kassandra81
    kassandra81 Posts: 176
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    That really made me laugh though, lol. Although a crappy msg, funny!
  • LesIsMoreXX
    LesIsMoreXX Posts: 169
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    This is one of my favourites:

    "I'll be uber blunt.
    I want you and my penis to accomplish many things.
    That is all."
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
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    Tons.

    Best one: I had a guy message me offering to come over and clean my apartment for free- if he could wear a pair of my underwear while doing it. :)


    Guess I need to start a dating profile. My house is getting really messy.

    BAhahahahahahahaaaaaa, I just peed a little!
  • Krisstah
    Krisstah Posts: 136 Member
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    Tons.

    Best one: I had a guy message me offering to come over and clean my apartment for free- if he could wear a pair of my underwear while doing it. :)

    Imagine the quality of work he would do if he could wear your bra too!?!?!

    =/ LOL.. Molly maids might be out of business soon
  • CrystalDreams
    CrystalDreams Posts: 418 Member
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    oh my gosh YES! some people just dont care how wrong they come across. I cant post most of the things i have had guys message me due to the graphic nature, but it was never called for.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    Lol @ at all the girls "repulsed" by the perverts. Men like sex. They commonly think with their second head more than their first. This is not news.

    I completely understand that and I have no issue with sex...since I've been single and celibate for a long time, I MISS sex. But a total stranger who propositions sex in the first email or sends me a picture of his junk? No thank you!
  • kris10lv84
    kris10lv84 Posts: 51
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    Lol @ at all the girls "repulsed" by the perverts. Men like sex. They commonly think with their second head more than their first. This is not news.


    Yah i agree its really not a surprise, but if theyre profile is saying they are not interested in casual sex and are looking for long term then they are really going about it the wrong way. The only girl they are going to find is a easy, sleazy chick..not a bring home to mom kind of lady...btw there is nothing wrong if a guy loves sex..thats obviously an important factor, but if its the first and only thing he talks about then i say red flag lol.
  • Krisstah
    Krisstah Posts: 136 Member
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    Lol @ at all the girls "repulsed" by the perverts. Men like sex. They commonly think with their second head more than their first. This is not news.

    I completely understand that and I have no issue with sex...since I've been single and celibate for a long time, I MISS sex. But a total stranger who propositions sex in the first email or sends me a picture of his junk? No thank you!

    I agree there, i love sex, would have it every day, but its definitely not an opening line that gets me going.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Lol @ at all the girls "repulsed" by the perverts. Men like sex. They commonly think with their second head more than their first. This is not news.

    I completely understand that and I have no issue with sex...since I've been single and celibate for a long time, I MISS sex. But a total stranger who propositions sex in the first email or sends me a picture of his junk? No thank you!

    Well duh. That is gross. I just thought it was funny that some chick actually posted that she's given up on men because she's "repulsed" by them.

    Also, I actually thought the line that was sent to the OP was pretty hilarious.
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
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    I've got an online dating profile which I haven't used for a while (should update it really) but last night I got an email saying I had a message from someone.

    This was the message:

    "Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but here's my skype so cam sex maybe?"

    I was just like "wtf?" :noway: . There is nothing on my profile that would even *hint* at me being open to the idea of skype cam sex with random strangers from other countries.

    I just sent back "That's pathetic".

    Anyone had any messages like that on online dating where you're just left thinking "what made you think that would actually work?" :laugh:

    It took me reading the original email three times to go oh...he was doing a parody of the "Call Me Maybe" song that is so popular right now. Haha! :laugh:
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Honestly, this is why you need to look outside your house for a date. Not the interwebs. You can't filter the interwebs.
  • Krisstah
    Krisstah Posts: 136 Member
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    Lol @ at all the girls "repulsed" by the perverts. Men like sex. They commonly think with their second head more than their first. This is not news.

    I completely understand that and I have no issue with sex...since I've been single and celibate for a long time, I MISS sex. But a total stranger who propositions sex in the first email or sends me a picture of his junk? No thank you!

    Well duh. That is gross. I just thought it was funny that some chick actually posted that she's given up on men because she's "repulsed" by them.

    Also, I actually thought the line that was sent to the OP was pretty hilarious.

    I guess you have to know a bit about my lifestyle, i dont meet alot of men, so online has really been my only source of communication with the opposite sex for many years.. soo.. i guess i should of said i give up on men on dating sites.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    going thru my okc msgs for this thread.

    this is one i just got
    and wow, its normal!

    How could i go by with out saying something. I love your profile and you are quite attractive. I am still filling out my profile, but I will make sure to finish for you to read.

    PB



    I want to meet uSent from the OkCupid app
    Report this
    Message from glenn2488

    Jun 24, 2012 – 4:24pm
    considering you didn't read my profile and you can't even spell 'you'; i'm going to have to pass.



    at least i'm honest! he deleted his acct


    Hi sexy girl ;-) hows it going. I've got an interestion question for ya!! I have the most amazing bf here and I was wondering if you would like to possible date us?



    Open ur eyes so the sun can rise
    Flowers can blossom
    birds can sing
    Because all r waiting to see ur beautiful smile.
    Good Morning!




    U need a life ..no wonder ur single Sent from the OkCupid app
    Report this
    58% Enemy17% Friend67% Match Message from makeulaugh2012

    Jun 10, 2012 – 8:29am
    You should learn some basic English skills before attempting to troll someone ;)



    Live 4 d person ho dies 4u,
    Smile 4 d person ho cries 4u,
    Fight 4 d person ho protects u,
    n luv d person ho luvs u more than u..


    So yr *kitten* is big for having two kids then... I'm a prick!



    hey there! how are you? are you so beautiful in real or just in pics?:P you look so amazing!!


    pretty normal stuff i guess.
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
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    On my old dating profile, I had a guy that I couldn't believe was on an online dating site because he looked like he'd never have time to leave the gym (I'm okay with fit guys, but he was definitely one of those douchebaggy fit guys). He messaged me asking if I'd be up to be friends with benefits. I had recently switching from looking for dating to friendship because the guys I'd met had been jerks. I nicely declined so he responded saying that it was okay...that he was only messaging me hoping I could introduce him to some of my hotter friends because I was obviously the least attractive of them. I couldn't believe it so I told him that I was sorry to disappoint but I had no female friends but knew some *kitten* hole guys he might get along with. He responded back saying he'd have to get drunk to ever want to sleep with me and I'd just be a practice girl. I stopped messaging him after that but he sent me three more rude messages to that tone. He also said I must be a lesbian to not want to sleep with him.

    Oh, did I mention that at the end of every message he said, "No, but for real, do you want to go out with me?"

    Uhh yeah, that would be a negative =/
  • NWCyclingBeast
    NWCyclingBeast Posts: 157 Member
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    For you, Kassandra, I just might. I just. might. Provide the cleaning supplies. ROFL
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    Honestly, this is why you need to look outside your house for a date. Not the interwebs. You can't filter the interwebs.

    Meeting someone in person before the first date has huge value.
  • Silverkittycat
    Silverkittycat Posts: 1,997 Member
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    I've got some creepy messages on mfp! I just don't reply to them. I worry that if I do, the next message will be even worse.

    Exactly! Can't even imagine what it would be like on an online dating site.

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