Some people are just plain MEAN :(

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  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    As the author of the post that spawned this response-thread, I guess I'll bite...

    What part of my post was "mean" or "unsupportive"? Because I don't believe a few hundred random MFP friends are helpful to achieving success? Because I don't believe being on MFP all day, every day is a good thing?

    And for that, you call me out as being unsupportive/mean. (And then, most likely based only on your message, a dozen more decide I'm an ahole.)

    Interesting irony, don't you think?

    I didn't see her call you out personally. Maybe I missed it. However, not sure why you are on here if you don't want support. I see you have 50+ friends so you must be supportive to them in some way. I got on here for a little extra support and getting it has helped. Life is too short to be mean when being nice is so much more rewarding. Just my two cents.

    I'll leave the first part of your post for OP to clear up. As for the rest of your post, I'm on MFP because it has a great food diary and iphone sync. Along the way, I've made a few friends...(but none of them are from asking the MFP forums for random friends). And 95%+ of my friends were FR initiated by them (most, probably in response to something I said in a forum post that impacted/registered with them). A few later changed their minds, but most stuck around.

    Yes, I suspect most of them would say I'm supportive, but that's because I'm a generally supportive guy. However, that isn't to be confused with the popular MFP-mantra that anything short of constant smoke-blowing isn't supportive. Actually, I'd go a step further and say that many on MFP are *too* supportive, don't speak up when they should, and enable behavior that may ultimately be detrimental to success.

    I feel I have an obligation to be supportive to the people with whom I have a relationship here. However, that obligation is not to never say anything that might irk someone on the forums.

    *shrug*
  • ExplorinLauren
    ExplorinLauren Posts: 991 Member
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    It is on you, you make the choices for yourself. Why do you need a cheerleader?

    Because humans are social creatures, and just like mean comments hurt and affect our mentality, so do compliments and people cheering us on. Athletes competing often do better when they can hear people cheering them on. THATS WHY.
  • LifestyleChange33
    LifestyleChange33 Posts: 169 Member
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    Add away. Mfp is a great way to get support on the journey to fitness. This is why they have a friend feature- let the "mean people's" issues be their own. I think this is a case of different people preferring different things (aside from those who post unnecessary negative comments just to be jerky). There are a lot of supportive people on here.
  • Melanie_RS
    Melanie_RS Posts: 417 Member
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    As the author of the post that spawned this response-thread, I guess I'll bite...

    What part of my post was "mean" or "unsupportive"? Because I don't believe a few hundred random MFP friends are helpful to achieving success? Because I don't believe being on MFP all day, every day is a good thing?

    And for that, you call me out as being unsupportive/mean. (And then, most likely based only on your message, a dozen more decide I'm an ahole.)

    Interesting irony, don't you think?

    I didn't see her call you out personally. Maybe I missed it. However, not sure why you are on here if you don't want support. I see you have 50+ friends so you must be supportive to them in some way. I got on here for a little extra support and getting it has helped. Life is too short to be mean when being nice is so much more rewarding. Just my two cents.

    I'll leave the first part of your post for OP to clear up. As for the rest of your post, I'm on MFP because it has a great food diary and iphone sync. Along the way, I've made a few friends...(but none of them are from asking the MFP forums for random friends). And 95%+ of my friends were FR initiated by them (most, probably in response to something I said in a forum post that impacted/registered with them). A few later changed their minds, but most stuck around.

    Yes, I suspect most of them would say I'm supportive, but that's because I'm a generally supportive guy. However, that isn't to be confused with the popular MFP-mantra that anything short of constant smoke-blowing isn't supportive. Actually, I'd go a step further and say that many on MFP are *too* supportive, don't speak up when they should, and enable behavior that may ultimately be detrimental to success.

    I feel I have an obligation to be supportive to the people with whom I have a relationship here. However, that obligation is not to never say anything that might irk someone on the forums.

    *shrug*

    true, he's very supportive. he gave me ONE compliment once! he commented on my food diary and said I was a machine! I'll treasure it forever jofj. Otherwise, you're just a meanie that likes to kick kittens. I mean, threaten. I mean, you're a swell guy! who by the way, wants to unfriend me most of the time! wait, maybe I'm not the supportive one...............i love bacon?
  • legs_n_bacon
    legs_n_bacon Posts: 478 Member
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    As the author of the post that spawned this response-thread, I guess I'll bite...

    What part of my post was "mean" or "unsupportive"? Because I don't believe a few hundred random MFP friends are helpful to achieving success? Because I don't believe being on MFP all day, every day is a good thing?

    And for that, you call me out as being unsupportive/mean. (And then, most likely based only on your message, a dozen more decide I'm an ahole.)

    Interesting irony, don't you think?

    Because you have a different opinion then them of what you consider motivation and support
  • raebels
    raebels Posts: 45 Member
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    SMH
  • jcmartin0313
    jcmartin0313 Posts: 574 Member
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    It is on you, you make the choices for yourself. Why do you need a cheerleader?

    This is absolutely not true. Numerous studies suggest if not prove that weight loss occurs more often when people are surrounded by others seeking the same goal. That aside, I have lost the majority of my weight and more importantly transformed my fitness because I work with fit people. There is no negative peer pressure only positive support and that has made all the difference. Feel free to add me for support.
  • tlblood
    tlblood Posts: 473 Member
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    As the author of the post that spawned this response-thread, I guess I'll bite...

    What part of my post was "mean" or "unsupportive"? Because I don't believe a few hundred random MFP friends are helpful to achieving success? Because I don't believe being on MFP all day, every day is a good thing?

    And for that, you call me out as being unsupportive/mean. (And then, most likely based only on your message, a dozen more decide I'm an ahole.)

    Interesting irony, don't you think?

    I didn't see her call you out personally. Maybe I missed it. However, not sure why you are on here if you don't want support. I see you have 50+ friends so you must be supportive to them in some way. I got on here for a little extra support and getting it has helped. Life is too short to be mean when being nice is so much more rewarding. Just my two cents.

    I'll leave the first part of your post for OP to clear up. As for the rest of your post, I'm on MFP because it has a great food diary and iphone sync. Along the way, I've made a few friends...(but none of them are from asking the MFP forums for random friends). And 95%+ of my friends were FR initiated by them (most, probably in response to something I said in a forum post that impacted/registered with them). A few later changed their minds, but most stuck around.

    Yes, I suspect most of them would say I'm supportive, but that's because I'm a generally supportive guy. However, that isn't to be confused with the popular MFP-mantra that anything short of constant smoke-blowing isn't supportive. Actually, I'd go a step further and say that many on MFP are *too* supportive, don't speak up when they should, and enable behavior that may ultimately be detrimental to success.

    I feel I have an obligation to be supportive to the people with whom I have a relationship here. However, that obligation is not to never say anything that might irk someone on the forums.

    *shrug*

    I'm not in the loop about the first part, but I do agree that many of my "friends" and their "friends" are blowing smoke all in the name of being supportive. Saying "Great work!" on a diary with only 800 calories or 1500 calories of fast food and Lean Cuisines isn't really helpful. My best supporter is the one who reminds me that, though I got 5 servings of fruits and veggies that day, I didn't have any green veggies and need to remember those tomorrow.
  • tamtamzz
    tamtamzz Posts: 142
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    Motivation comes from you. Encouragement helps you stay motivated. There are some that can stay motivated all on their own, and do not need much from others. They wouldn't care if you said good job or not, they're getting it done anyway. They are of the, 'Quit being a crybaby and suck it up.' ilk. Needing support gets you teased. There are people like this, and this is how they get it done. It isn't right or wrong. It simply is. I don't understand the cockiness part of it, but it is what it is, I guess.

    It gets frustrating when people try to cram their viewpoint down your throat, regardless if you agree or not, no matter what your position is. Just know this is the Internet, and that's the name of them game; beat someone over the head with your opinion until someone relents. The time you have spent arguing down your point and stewing over the matter could have been better spent doing something else.

    If you like supporters, there are many here! It's not My Fitness Pal for nothing. If you do not need support, then by all means, do what you gotta do, but don't insult those who do need it. We do not live in a vacuum, and we certainly cannot believe and expect people to do what we do.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    true, he's very supportive. he gave me ONE compliment once! he commented on my food diary and said I was a machine! I'll treasure it forever jofj. Otherwise, you're just a meanie that likes to kick kittens. I mean, threaten. I mean, you're a swell guy! who by the way, wants to unfriend me most of the time! wait, maybe I'm not the supportive one...............i love bacon?

    Shhh! I thought I made it very clear that you were to tell no one about that...ever. I have a reputation as either a dil- or a- hole to uphold. If people find out I'm not always putting random people down and that I even occasionally give compliments, I'll never live this down.

    And I question the sincerity of your expressed love for bacon.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    Nothing amuses me more than people complaining about "mean people who hide behind computers" by throwing around insults in an anonymous thread. I just love it, nobody is allowed to say mean things, unless you want to complain about a random "mean person," then go ahead and be as negative as you want.

    Pot, meet kettle, you're both black. Get over it.

    Since when is calling someone an *kitten* or a jack wagon not mean?

    tigerpalm.jpg
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I'm extremely mean and I don't pretend to be otherwise.
    At the end of the day, I'm responsible for me and you're responsible for you.
    I love my friends on here because when I tell them something they need to hear -- they listen. And otherwise, are just bad *kitten* by themselves. I'm not here to coddle or be coddled. You don't have to call people "mean" or whatever in order to find the type of friends you want. Find them by saying what you DO want, not what you don't want, cause you just got a whole lot of what you don't want.
  • rebbiebear
    rebbiebear Posts: 17
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    Yes, it is a personal responsibility. That does not mean anyone has to travel alone down the road. The same way people like to have friends to do things with in 'real life', people like to have friends online who are in touch with what they are going through. No one is made to be anyone's "friend" and if the idea seems strange or unreasonable then take heart that it is not an obligation. I like to share my experiences and have other people share them with me.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    I readily admit I see many people on MFP looking for shortcuts or some magic bullet, neither of which exists...

    Well... you're not entirely right there. There is a magic bullet. :blushing:
  • Tinamwalters
    Tinamwalters Posts: 2 Member
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    wow. drama drama everywhere. I just got on here so I can figure out how to push through my plateau and stumbled across this thread. Can't we all just get along now? :) Life is too short to care what other people think.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
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    I readily admit I see many people on MFP looking for shortcuts or some magic bullet, neither of which exists...

    Well... you're not entirely right there. There is a magic bullet. :blushing:

    the magic bullet is my favorite kitchen gadget.
  • gpstrucker
    gpstrucker Posts: 930 Member
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    Can't we all just get along. :huh:
  • CassandraM22
    CassandraM22 Posts: 89
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    What is a dilhole? An a-hole I get..but a dilhole? Does it involve pickles? Can I deep fry them? Hmm..
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    I readily admit I see many people on MFP looking for shortcuts or some magic bullet, neither of which exists...

    Well... you're not entirely right there. There is a magic bullet. :blushing:

    And I have a feeling she isn't talking about the mini blender.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    wow. drama drama everywhere. I just got on here so I can figure out how to push through my plateau and stumbled across this thread. Can't we all just get along now? :) Life is too short to care what other people think.

    "Can't we all just get along now? :) Life is too short to care what other people think."

    Surely you see the contradiction in this, right? Personally, I don't expect everyone to get along...(and I don't care what others think of my expectations).

    (And welcome to MFP. It really is a great resource to help you achieve your goals...

    ...even if there are a bunch of a/dil-holes here like me.)

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