How do you feel about advice regarding your diet?

tamtamzz

I'm talking about unsolicited advice.

Like, if a friend were to close out their diary for the day would you comment, you need to eat more/less, or you need to drink more water, or lay off the sodium etc. whether they asked you or not, or would you simply not comment, or support them in logging every day and making an effort even if you didn't agree with what was going on in their diary?

I do not give advice unless I'm specifically asked. I generally comment on exercise completed more than completed diaries. I don't want it be like, I'll give you a good comment when you are good, and no comment when you are bad when it comes to the diary. I don't think that's fair.

What do you do, and how do you feel about unsolicited advice?

suziecue66

I wouldn't give unsolicited advice. They may not be eating what I consider healthy but thats just my opinion and if they are happy and seeing results that's all that matters. Its not up to someone else to decide whether others have had a good or bad day. The best dietary lifestyle is the one that you can maintain for life without gaining weight.

marcenepea

I don't usually say anything unless its really scary. Like really really low calories or something. I wouldn't want to offend anyone and some people get offended easily.
The way I look at it is I opened my diary to the public so people could help me. I am always open for good ideas. And what I think is ok sometimes can be alot better with small changes. I want to learn as much as possible and I am the first to admit my diet needs alot of help. lol

fatbitch321

don't give it...don't want it.
:drinker:

lmelangley

I only make comments if I see unhealthy trends like eating too little over a couple of weeks in a row, or if I notice someone's diet is "off" enough that they might not be feeling well that day. But, I always try to be positive and non-critical of food choices. After all, we all need to figure out meal plans that work for us, and we're all different.

raeleek

I only offer when asked specifically. Everyone has their own way of doing things.

dixiewhiskey

I am open to everything.. but I would only give advice if someone was doing something very dangerous to health and wellbeing or if I were asked

pleytem

I normally don't but I have made a couple of unsolicited comments.I look at my pals as part of my journey. I have an open diary for them to see. If I keep logging crap foods I would hope someone would say good job logging maybe try to add more protein or fuel foods so you don't have to work so hard or?? rather than great job today when I ate nothing but junk food.I always try to be positive and give positive feedback I am also non-judgmental of peoples food choices. It's just an honest way to support my pals as I have the pals for a reason their support and I am their pals for the same reason I hope to support them through their journeys. I hope that made sense...

ITS_MY_CHOICE

I didn't even know you could comment on diaries! still learning.

tamtamzz

Yes! You absolutely can comment on a person's diary. You can do it in your news feed.

I hear you guys on the dangerous part, but do you think dangerous is subjective?

For example, one may view my diet as "dangerous" because I have gallstones. There are some days where I'm okay, and some days when I'm not. I must admit, I would be a little frustrated if someone were to tell me to eat more fat or to eat more period. A typical diet would have me rolling around on the floor in pain at best, and in the hospital at worst.

There are many scenarios that I have been through myself that I couldn't possibly comment on one's diary, giving my unsolicited opinion because I don't know what they are going through.

tas3980

I wouldn't give unsolicited advice. They may not be eating what I consider healthy but thats just my opinion and if they are happy and seeing results that's all that matters. Its not up to someone else to decide whether others have had a good or bad day. The best dietary lifestyle is the one that you can maintain for life without gaining weight.

^^ this; well said!

Bonny619

I HATE it. But only because I have already lost a significant amount of weight so when random people start telling me what I need to eat or not eat in order to lose the last 20-30, well it completely irks me.

cheerforsteelers

I like the advice here and there, but I feel I don't get any. Sometimes I ask for it even. I know different things work for different people so just because I eat a certain way doesn't mean it works for someone else. I try to give a little bit of advice if someone asks for others to look over their food log. I don't know everything so I won't comment like I do.

jacqui1612

I like constructive criticism, both people giving it to me, and giving to others. If don't like to comment on peoples completed diaries if they are not open. Who knows what they are actually eating. I also don't comment much on others diaries. I'll have a quick look and if it looks like they have made good choices for the day, I will say well done.
But as someone else said.. Every person has their own way of doing things. As long as it works for them, and it is nothing dangerous then I let them be...

VogtAndrea

I don't know about you but I get a pile of advice regarding my diet.
Most of the people that know me know that I see a bariatric specialist, a dietician, a diabetes nurse, my own doctor every 3 weeks because I promised the bariatric specialist that I would and one of my 2 best friends in the whole world is a clinical dietician who is trying to keep mum most of the time. I work with the other dietician and diabetes nurse. My family is my cheering section and they're wonderful. All of my family fights with their weight so we all encourage each other.
There are times that they'll ask pointed questions and I keep it real and honest and up front.
My friends are welcome to add a little unsolicited advice too but they're not allowed to get ugly with it on me. If they are, I do shut them down nicely with "I appreciate that you're trying to help and I'll certainly give it a try after I check its numbers".
If they're commenting about me having slipped and having a very bad day, the answer's always: " Yes, I did but tomorrow I'll do much better." If they persist, I'll thank them for caring and let them know that I do have it under control.

jawheb

Thanks for posting this! I do try to help and
encourage my MFP friends. It's good to know
that maybe I should just back off if they are set
on eating the calories they choose to meet everyday.
I don't want someone to think I'm being critical. I just
really want to be supportive for them. I thought that's
why we have friends and open diaries. I figure
if their diaries are open they are open for suggestions.

laineyluma

On MFP its different.

But i have had people who find out how much weight I have lost and then they attempt to give me advice on how I could have lost it faster or whatever.. I dont care what you think obviously its working and has worked for me.

caraiselite

if they know about low carb/keto, i'll listen.
if they try getting me to count calories instead or *gasp* eat bread and pasta, no ty.

counting calories is for squares.

ChapinaGrande

I feel differently. I have my diary open because I see it as an implied "Give Me Diet Advice" request. I've been getting frustrated because people keep saying "good job" but not actually giving me advice when I clearly (OK, not clearly) asked for it by opening my diary. On that note, one time I said to someone, after asking if he would accept input and he said yes, "Have you considered adding more fruits and vegetables? That might help lower your sodium count." Maybe I broke an unspoken MFP rule and am a gigantic a-hole.

NoAdditives

I used to give unsolicited advice after I'd seen a person's trends. If they were consistently under cals, over on sodium and eating too much processed food, not drinking enough water, etc., I'd mention it in a friendly way. I'm here to help my friends. I don't want to blindly or quietly encourage habits I know to be bad for health.

ETA: I haven't been keeping up on my friend's diaries like I used to because I just don't have the time at the moment.

ctwm84

I really dont care about what people have to say to me. I know exactly what I am putting into my body and I know what is working. I does irritate me when people complain about not losing weight when their diaries are full of changs mongolian grill and mcdonalds and stuff, but I still dont say anything. Its not my business.

I have a coworker who constantly complains about her weight. I set her up on MFP, offer to give her my recipies, and yesterday she sent me a pic mail on my phone of a cream filled donut claiming it was her "diet food"... I kinda wanna punch her in the face. Either do something about it or stop complaining to me. know what I mean?

sharleengc

I don't really offer advice unless people ask because if people want it they usually ask for it. Sometimes it's difficult not to mention it as I had one friend who for a week only had various chips and crackers in their diary. I had a difficult time holding my "fingers".

However, I will offer suggestions. Like, if I see someone has a sandwich every day or toast in the morning with bread that is 100+/ slice, I'll mention that Sara Lee has a 45cal/slice bread. Or anything that I have found as a lower cal substitute by a significant difference. I do this because different stores will have different options and also because a lot of people stick to the same brands and don't really check out all the options even when they do count cals.

ldrosophila

Nope!

For one diaries are really subjective. The info in the database is not always correct. I don't know exactly what is going on in his/her life. I would never ever discourage someone from being afraid to log by "offering them advice." Mine is public and will stay that way not that I want opinions. I know what to do I'm a registered dietitian. I use it because I have to stay conscious and I have to hold myself accountable. I have hidden my true intake for so long.

tamtamzz

It's interesting to read how everyone considers other members' diaries. It really is subjective, and it does vary from person to person.

As far as people complaining about not losing weight while still eating over their calories (regardless of what they choose)... I wish that scenario only stopped there! There are tons of situations where people complain, and the solution is staring them dead in the face. I truly think they know the solution, choose not to solve the problem, and bleat about it to garner sympathy; if it only stopped at weight loss.

Don't get me wrong, the thought has definitely crossed my mind when it comes to questionable (to me) diet choices, but I think I would ask first before giving my opinion. My diary is open to friends to keep me accountable. I certainly wouldn't mind a well-intended piece of advice, but when it turns into finger waggling, that's when I'm not too receptive.

Weight loss is like parenting. It is so individualized, but a topic people feel very passionate about.

tequila09

This is why my diary is closed! I don't want anyone commenting on my ice cream habit lol I get enough of that from the boyfriend haha

ahjenny

I only know 3 people in real life on my friends list, and they all happen to be coworkers. We talk about stuff and respect that we are not following the same eating life style. I don't give or ask them for advice, but I may ask why their caloric goal is so high (didn't notice the extra exercise points, oops). I comment here and there, because we all think that's what helps keep us accountable. If I know one of my friends is having a problem cutting back on soda, I might comment that they did great in cutting back, or say 'hey, tomorrow's going to be a better day'. I try to keep it positive and I think I know where all the boundaries are.

taunto

Depends, I have a couple of friends who keep me in line by saying stuff like "You were under your calories eating that pizza but wheres the nutrition" or "nice job but get some veggies in". I welcome this. Its not really advice, more so looking out for me.

But if I got a random e-mail saying "hey, I notice you eat 2,000 calories typically. You should reduce it to 1200 to lose weight I would probably reply in some not to polite words

Irish_eyes75

I hate it when people comment on my diary.

I dont believe an open diary is an invitation to comment. Mine is open because I have nothing to hide. Look at it, don't look at it, it doesn't matter to me.

If I post a status or thread complaining about not losing weight, if I'm stuck then sure, I'm inviting you to comment, help, motivate, support etc.
But...if I'm consistently losing 2lbs a week clearly I'm doing something right and I don't need another mother.....
This happens at work too and I've just completely stopped talking to people because I'm tired of the unsolicited, and quite often bad, advice!

Having said that I do believe most people have good intentions though so I don't delete anyone or yell at them if they do comment.

opuntia

I try to be tolerant when people give unsolicited advice, because I know people are trying to help, but I tend to take it with a pinch of salt, because I know more about my body than anyone else does, and I have experimented with a lot of things I know what works and what doesn't. And I'm also aware that my body has very specific needs and preferences which are quite different from the norm, because I am on the autism spectrum. I am a lot more likely to listen if the person giving advice is also on the autism spectrum or has worked closely with people on the autism spectrum.

JoniGo

If this were a friend--yes, but I better be able to accept their reply, if any. Likewise, they should feel safe in our relationship to do the same. It's also an opportunity for one or the other to learn something new/helpful.

Jacwhite22

I don't give it unless asked. I generally let it go in one ear and out the other. I know what to eat......It just doesn't always happen.