Friends avoiding you?

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Replies

  • Chanita1116
    Chanita1116 Posts: 29
    This is really strange, but does anyone else have real-life friends who seem to be avoiding them since they have lost weight? I have a few here at work and unfortunately some in my family too! How heartbreaking :sad:

    That's really weird. But I wonder if they were the same one's telling you that if you eat this or that just once it won't hurt you or make you mess up.
  • WendyFitMomCHANGED
    WendyFitMomCHANGED Posts: 311 Member
    I've noticed I don't get invited out to lunch anymore since I'm eating clean and working out a bunch. Oh well, the office usually goes to fattening resturaunts anyway. :)
  • ShyFeather
    ShyFeather Posts: 138 Member
    ... I would have needed friends to start with *forever alone*
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    Not when I lost weight, but I had a best friend who started avoiding me or getting really p*ssy with me after I got a boyfriend and she was single at the time. Eight months later I kicked her *kitten* to the curb because not only was she jealous but she was trying to ruin my relationship just because she didn't have one. I can guarantee if she was still around in my life she'd be pulling the same stunt with my weight loss because while she's not heavy like I am, she is chunky and out of shape and she thinks she eats healthy just because something has "soy" or "wheat" written on it.
  • Beleg
    Beleg Posts: 227 Member
    My wife :(
  • papate
    papate Posts: 67 Member
    Ditto, sure do. But then I have a great friend who is my "diet buddy". We keep each other accountable, we encourage, motivate, commiserate, all of it together. That is a great friend to have.
    :happy:
  • medicinemantoo
    medicinemantoo Posts: 160
    It's an odd situation, but i got fired from my last job because of a supervisor (approx 475lbs) that was told by his doctor to go on a diet. There was a bunch of us that were overweight and a few of us took on weight loss and getting into shape seriously; he (that supervisor) gave up. many of us lost our job in the past 7 months. gee, you think there is any corralation? we don't. who quit, who didn't...but "we're" feeling great and in super shape compared to where we were; a life style change and loving it!!!! it's like money, you learn who your friends are. but it's a good thing!
  • SafioraLinnea
    SafioraLinnea Posts: 628 Member
    I have had mixed results.
    Some people have been avoiding me, and that is their choice.
    Some people have been trying to follow my lifestyle changes and I've supported them as best I can, while knowing that this is completely up to them to take the changes responsibly.
    Some people have been trying to follow it and intentionally lie about all sorts of things, eat irresponsibly and don't document it, and then they wonder why I'm seeing results and they aren't.
    And some people just don't care either way, which is fine too.

    I also have experienced wanting to avoid certain people (particularly the ones who put on the facade of making the change) but life is too short and I'm having too much success to let the naysayers and pooh-poohers get me down.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    It happens. Doesn't mean it doesn't suck, but it happens.
  • rllewell
    rllewell Posts: 234
    Yes some friends will avoid you because you are a slap in their face as to why they are not eating healthy and getting fit. I wouldn't push anything on them but if they ask what you are doing FOCUS on telling them ONLY what YOU have implemented in your lifestyle change. Hopefully a light turns on!

    I will admit I do avoid a few people that I feel can't get together without food or alcohol being involved. I just don't need those temptations in my face.
  • speedimus
    speedimus Posts: 2
    I didn't observe this when I started getting back into shape. I noticed this when I stopped drinking a few years back. Most of my friends were drinking buddies. When I stopped drinking, they said that I wasn't the same guy anymore. It's true, though. I changed my thinking and that affected my behaviors. Drunks aren't so fun if you're not drunk too.

    Friends are those walk life's path with you. You may be on a different path now. Perhaps they just think you are. They may just need to feel that you're on the same path, that you're the same person and still accept them.

    If you're talking about women, though, it might just be that you're now better looking than them and get all the opposite sex attention. ; )
  • purplegoboom
    purplegoboom Posts: 400 Member
    My wife :(

    :frown: This makes me sad. I'm so sorry.
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    Whenever anyone has a major lifestyle change, friends slip away and new ones appear. Graduation, getting married, having children, making a major career change, or making a major lifestyle change such as weight loss will cause a shift in your social network.

    Just think about people who go into AA-- they mostly have to leave all their old drinking buddies behind. I think getting fit and healthy has a similar effect on people. You can't indulge in a trip to the doughnut shop together, you can't share the kind of unhealthy activities that you previously engaged in together. That leaves the you sitting there watching your unhealthy friend down a pitcher of beer and 1500 calories of pizza in one sitting while you nibble on grilled chicken and a green salad. Neither person will find the experience all that enjoyable, and your unfit friend will not be interested in going out for a walk or other active social activity.

    I think the loss of a social network is one of the primary reasons why maintaining weight loss is difficult. If we keep surrounding ourselves with people who indulge in unhealthy lifestyles, it will be too difficult to not slip back into those old familiar habits.

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