Help me to not kill my mother

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245

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  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
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    So I'm moving in with my boyfriend. Nbd you say. NAY SAY I. My mother is absolutely the scariest person I've ever met. Or been birthed from. She lives in Florida, about 20 hours away from me. I'm contemplated not telling her, but I'm scared that she'll have a dream about it or she'll get her spidey sense going and pray about it and God's going to give me away. (Yes, I'm dead serious.) So I guess I have to kil.... tell her.

    So of those living in sin like I'm going to do shortly, how did you tell your parents? Hopefully they're as scary as my mother.

    :drinker: <--- I just really wanted to put that in somewhere.

    How old are you again?

    Regrettably... a very respectable 28. With my own apartment, car, cell phone, insurance, retirement fund, health insurance, job and drinking habit.

    So why would you be worried about her reaction? Sounds like you've got your shlt together.
  • cmeade20
    cmeade20 Posts: 1,238 Member
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    So I'm moving in with my boyfriend. Nbd you say. NAY SAY I. My mother is absolutely the scariest person I've ever met. Or been birthed from. She lives in Florida, about 20 hours away from me. I'm contemplated not telling her, but I'm scared that she'll have a dream about it or she'll get her spidey sense going and pray about it and God's going to give me away. (Yes, I'm dead serious.) So I guess I have to kil.... tell her.

    So of those living in sin like I'm going to do shortly, how did you tell your parents? Hopefully they're as scary as my mother.

    :drinker: <--- I just really wanted to put that in somewhere.

    How old are you again?

    Regrettably... a very respectable 28. With my own apartment, car, cell phone, insurance, retirement fund, health insurance, job and drinking habit.

    So why would you be worried about her reaction? Sounds like you've got your shlt together.


    Some mothers are just a pain in the *kitten* about stuff even long after you've reached adulthood
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    I'd tell her just to piss her off, what's she gonna do anyway? I guess if you want to get creative, you can send her a bouquet of flowers with a card,

    "Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I'm living in sin,
    Whoopdie-freakin'-doo! ♫
    Love ya B@#$%!"

    Wow! Not everyone is disrespectful. Someone may be a mature adult to make there own discussion, yet still value a parents opinion and approval.

    How about this one?

    Roses are Red,
    Violets are Blue,
    You were a Grandma for a short time,...
    But I gave him away in Peru!


    :heart:
  • Whart0603
    Whart0603 Posts: 92 Member
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    My parents are both hard core Catholic and were not happy when I moved in my with now wife before we got married. I had to tell them because my wife was moving from the other side of the state. They were disappointed but eventually got over it. I would recommend telling her. She will eventually (hopefully) get over it. :)
  • photoshyY
    photoshyY Posts: 25
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    I'd tell her just to piss her off, what's she gonna do anyway? I guess if you want to get creative, you can send her a bouquet of flowers with a card,

    "Roses are red,
    Violets are blue,
    I'm living in sin,
    Whoopdie-freakin'-doo! ♫
    Love ya B@#$%!"

    Wow! Not everyone is disrespectful. Someone may be a mature adult to make there own discussion, yet still value a parents opinion and approval.

    How about this one?

    Roses are Red,
    Violets are Blue,
    You were a Grandma for a short time,...
    But I gave him away in Peru!


    :heart:

    Creative, but still inappropriate in my opinion. However, it not my opinion that counts, only Corn63.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    my parents think im a virgin in Jackson Mississippi.

    I just spit my soda all over my crotch.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    How about this one?

    Roses are Red,
    Violets are Blue,
    You were a Grandma for a short time,...
    But I gave him away in Peru!


    :heart:

    FWIW, I liked it.
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    my parents think im a virgin in Jackson Mississippi.

    I just spit my soda all over my crotch.

    Only because your crotch is huge and gets in the way of everything.
  • lizdavis07
    lizdavis07 Posts: 766 Member
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    You don't want to hide it from her. TRUST ME. You think your mom is scary now? Wait until she finds out from a source other than you that y'all are living together.

    My mom sounds similar to yours. I would just tell her and deal with her judgment later.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    my parents think im a virgin in Jackson Mississippi.

    I just spit my soda all over my crotch.

    Only because your crotch is huge and gets in the way of everything.

    I have a huge *kitten*. NOT a huge crotch. Damn... we've snuggled and *kitten*, you should know this!
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    my parents think im a virgin in Jackson Mississippi.

    I just spit my soda all over my crotch.

    Only because your crotch is huge and gets in the way of everything.

    I have a huge *kitten*. NOT a huge crotch. Damn... we've snuggled and *kitten*, you should know this!

    IT'S JUICY!!!!!
  • erikapereira
    erikapereira Posts: 196
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    Just let it out and seat to listen all the bull... or whatever. You r going to do it anyway :)
  • Halleeon
    Halleeon Posts: 309 Member
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    I'm dealing with a PITA mother as well...while I don't have this particular problem, there are many...including my own emotions being torn asunder when certain ...topics come up.

    I haven't spoken to her now in 3 months. It's bittersweet, but I am a lot less stressed and more happy overall.

    I'm working out my issues with a guided counselor and letting time do its thing. When I'm ready, I'll know what my boundaries are, how to set them (and hold my ground) and to learn to not "hope" that she will change or accept me for who I am. It's just not ever going to happen, unless she decides to do some work on herself.

    I think the scary part, for me, is...the idea that I may not want to "go back" ever, or for a very, very long time. But like some people have said already, cutting those ties are sometimes teh best things we can do for ourselves and others.

    In your case, you seem pretty set on telling her. Perhaps, you could consider writing a letter and mailing it to her and letting her know you are open to discuss it on a certain date? Letters are awesome because they force the other person to shut up and actually "listen."
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,611 Member
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    So, when she discovers it anyway, will she act like Scatman in The Shining?

    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSu4qGblJdqd2aAPaXCi_WHPWhaSv3xzQ5zbmxdou6Lq4ou0giyab9n7GSZiQ


    I especially love the painting above the bed.
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
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    You are 28, you are an adult.

    You do not need her approval for anything, so if you are going to move in with him, don't hide it from her because you aren't a child.

    She needs to realize that you are your own person, it's not like you are joining a cult or tattooing your face. You are moving in with your boyfriend.

    My parents and I don't have the same beliefs about everything but we respect each others views and choices because WE ARE ALL ADULTS
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    No, I don't necessarily need her approval but I'd rather have it than not. She *is* my Mother. And it's just been her and I for a very long time. We have quite the friendship now that I'm older. I just know she's going to tell me she's disappointed and start praying against me (She tries to tell me she's praying for me to do the right thing, but I swear it goes against everything I find fun.)
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    my parents think im a virgin in Jackson Mississippi.

    I just spit my soda all over my crotch.

    Only because your crotch is huge and gets in the way of everything.

    I have a huge *kitten*. NOT a huge crotch. Damn... we've snuggled and *kitten*, you should know this!

    IT'S JUICY!!!!!

    lmao what is happening here
  • xandra
    xandra Posts: 101 Member
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    I don't understand the problem. You are a financiially independent adult. Why do you care what your Mom thinks? My Mom hates the way I dress. She thinks it is too revealing and not appropriate for my age. I live on my own, buy my own clothes and pay my own bills. Thanks for you opinion Mom but it's my life.

    Like I said I don't understand the problem.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I get it - my mother's favorite weapons are guilt and passive aggression. It stressed me all out when I decided to tell her about Hubs (then boyfriend obviously) and I moving in together. She was actually pretty cool about it. She thought it was too soon but I explained that it made sense and if it didn't work out we'd cross that bridge when we came to it and that was that.

    Who knows, maybe she won't react they way you think she will but just remember you're an adult now and don't deserve to be treated that way and the great thing about phone calls is you can hang up if you're done listening to her. :) Good luck!
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    my parents think im a virgin in Jackson Mississippi.

    I just spit my soda all over my crotch.

    Only because your crotch is huge and gets in the way of everything.

    I have a huge *kitten*. NOT a huge crotch. Damn... we've snuggled and *kitten*, you should know this!

    IT'S JUICY!!!!!

    lmao what is happening here

    We're best friends IRL:) Just me appreciating her huge crotch.

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