Do you ever feel like others try to deter your goals?

peachyxoxoxo
peachyxoxoxo Posts: 1,178 Member
in Motivation and Support
Or are they ever confused about why you're doing the things you do? I feel like my mom doesn't always understand. She acts very suspicious. Like tonight I was telling her how I plan to start lifting again more regularly and eating more to bulk, once I finish with Insanity. And she started asking all these questions, like why wasn't I going to keep doing cardio several times a week, why did I want to gain muscle, why am I not just focusing on "being healthy."

It's just... weird. Why wouldn't I want to gain muscle mass? I'm not trying to become a bodybuilder or anything. Just become stronger and improve my body.

Maybe it's just because she's a mom, but honestly it just comes off as suspicion and not concern. Idk. She's healthy and exercises and eats well herself, so I feel like she SHOULD know the value of being healthy and why I have these goals. Anyone experience something similar?
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Replies

  • xPOOKiEx
    xPOOKiEx Posts: 156 Member
    Yes...my friend doesn't understand why I obsess about running. I always want to, I get upset when I don't have the chance to do so.

    She says "you're already skinny..why do you keep working out so much?" I haven't lost too much weight, and I do weight lifting..going to get better about doing it 3x per week...but it makes you feel like you're doing something bad, when it's really good for you.
  • MissyBenj
    MissyBenj Posts: 186 Member
    I always, always hear the "You're too skinny" comment and it drives me crazy. I dont work out to lose weight, I work out to stay fit, be healthy, clear my head, gain muscle and more importantly because I want to. Try not to worry about what she says. I'm assuming she is saying those things because she's your mother, and she worries.
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
    Yes. A lot. But I just keep focused on what I'm doing and how I can better my life.
  • koalahugs
    koalahugs Posts: 34
    I get the whole "oh nooo! Don't count calories! You don't need to!" from my friends but then again I just nod and smile and just do my thing. I don't let comments like that phase me because I know my goal and I'm set out to achieve it and maintain it.
  • FireBrand80
    FireBrand80 Posts: 378 Member
    Yeah, most people aren't going to understand. I do everything I can to avoid any kind of conversation about fitness.
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
    I try to avoid talking about it at all costs, with the exception of MFP forums! It typically just makes people feel guilty about their own lack of effort and spirals down from there.

    Just my opinion.
  • direwolfprincess
    direwolfprincess Posts: 261 Member
    Always. I try to avoid talking about it and use MFP as my life line to my dedication however every time my husband catches me logging on my phone or looking at food packages he says some smart comment about my behavior.
    My workouts are not his priority which is tough when trying to balance responsibilities.

    It hurts to be alone in this. And it causes such anger to have my aspirations taken lightly.
  • Sherylmarlee
    Sherylmarlee Posts: 224 Member
    stay true to you! There will always be someone judging you or trying to sabotage you. Nature of the beast unfortunately. It's a shame when some question your personal quest to live healthier and eat better. It's been my experience though, that they will chide you and ask you why?, but, eventually, when they see the results (physical and mental) they will ask you HOW. :)
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
    I'm the only one in my social group that counts calories. My fit friends think it's bizarre and obsessive. My not fit friends seem to think it's a good idea that no normal person has time for. Both groups think I'm nuts.

    Same for weighing myself. I have zero fit friends that weigh themselves. "I know I feel and look good, and that's all I need." Well, great, good for you.

    And then there's the lifting. My guy friends are all for it, but a female friend recently asked me, straight up, why I would ever do that. Do I want to look like a man? I'm already a pretty big girl. Why do I want to be even bigger? Wouldn't I rather run? Or do this great circuit she read about in Shape? Aren't I afraid of ruining my back and joints?

    Don't even get me started on my husband's attitude.
  • kenmunson333
    kenmunson333 Posts: 51 Member
    Oh, I know what it's like having someone close to you who isn't as supportive as they could/should be. My wife has sabotaged or at least tried to, every diet I've been on. Apparently, she feels being supportive is remembering to say "chew your food" once in a while when we're dining out.
  • jenniferdances1
    jenniferdances1 Posts: 86 Member
    I have had several coworkers tell me that I need to stop working out because I'm getting "too skinny". Yeah, I'm a health weight for my height! I'm like, "No, I'm not going to stop working out! Why would I do all of this hard work and then just stop and gain it all back!? Plus, I enjoy it!" I think it's really sad that, in our society, people have become so used to everyone being overweight that they actually view someone that is a healthy weight as "too skinny".
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i've learned to
    a) not talk about it
    B) ignore people
    c) smile and nod
    d) secretly hate people
  • tmoore_20
    tmoore_20 Posts: 49 Member
    My mom recently lost a lot of weight and has kept it off. I am now motivated to become healthier and lose weight but somehow I feel like she doesn't want me to lose weight. If I talk about my goals she brushes me off and changes the subject really quickly when it never used to be that way. I think she knows this time I'm dedicated and changing my life. It may not be true but for some reason I think she wants me to continue to be fat and unhappy with my body even though she lost weight.

    Also a co-worker of mine complimented me by saying "I can tell what you are doing is working because you look smaller". Later on that afternoon she BEGGED me to eat one of her Reeses with her! I couldn't believe I was sitting there going back and forth with her telling her that I didn't want her candy.
  • GhostPack
    GhostPack Posts: 197 Member
    Yes. People always try to get me to skip training days, and my wife loves buying me ice cream, and junk food. I'm always like... REALLY???
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
    Oh, I know what it's like having someone close to you who isn't as supportive as they could/should be. My wife has sabotaged or at least tried to, every diet I've been on. Apparently, she feels being supportive is remembering to say "chew your food" once in a while when we're dining out.

    I'm convinced that marriage is the leading cause of obesity. :grumble:
  • r5wr
    r5wr Posts: 203 Member
    My boyfriend. He's a twig, and the reason I gained more weight -_- because when I wanted to eat healthy he made me feel bad I wasn't eating with him. He bad me feel.bad I wasn't eating chips at 1 a.m. with him. Needless to say that stopped. He's dropped the food thing. He eats what he wants I eat what I want. When I said I wanted to.do.the 30 day shred, I never heard the end of how.I do.t need to.lose weight. I'm perfect as I am blah blah blah. It's sweet, he really loves me.for me, but at 5'5 and 190 um no it needs to.go. I flat out said I'm dpi.g it for me to make me happy with me and he dropped it. In fact he's doing the shred with me. (Not that he needs to the jerkface)
  • xoyasminxo
    xoyasminxo Posts: 132
    People who don't workout or care about eating healthy or being healthy in general get mad/jealous when others around them do. I have people tell me I am too skinny when I am naturally thin. I workout to stay strong, be toned, and for the cardio. I don't want the reason of my death to be because I didn't take care of my body.
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
    I get crap from people all the time. Family, friends, co-workers, casual acquantices.

    Telling me I am too thin or I look sick. I say, "NO, you are use to seeing me at 250 pounds. 75 pounds OVER WEIGHT. Get use to this size. Cause I ain't going back."
  • KristyHumphrey
    KristyHumphrey Posts: 248 Member
    I often feel pressured to eat bad stuff when I politely say no. Usually these same people are overweight. I don't think they are purposely tying to be a deterant or non- supportive but maybe they feel bad they are indulging and they'll feel better if I do too?? Or they are upset because they are on a weight loss journey with me?? I also get so many questions about it - why's, what's, well why can't you have one piece? Maybe one day- but I need to lose at least 30 lbs so I have to be strict for a while. Bottom line is,I think it has something to do with those people and not us at all!!
  • KristyHumphrey
    KristyHumphrey Posts: 248 Member
    Agreed! Man I was so much thinner when I was single - 50 pounds!!
  • peachyxoxoxo
    peachyxoxoxo Posts: 1,178 Member
    People who don't workout or care about eating healthy or being healthy in general get mad/jealous when others around them do. I have people tell me I am too skinny when I am naturally thin. I workout to stay strong, be toned, and for the cardio. I don't want the reason of my death to be because I didn't take care of my body.

    That's the weird thing in my situation though. My mom does eat healthy and she exercises almost daily. I feel like she of all people should be supportive!
  • r5wr
    r5wr Posts: 203 Member
    Yup I gained about 40 with him its hard to.notice unless your looking you.can't really tell km the weight I am, but I know.so.it bugs me. Hr has no idea I've gained weight at all...but speaking of deer from goals my family just had a freak out when I refuse a slice of anniversary cake. My mom literate forced me to have a piece I took the smallest one. And thank.goodness I had the calories to slate tonight -______-
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
    Yeah, most people aren't going to understand. I do everything I can to avoid any kind of conversation about fitness.
    I try to avoid talking about it at all costs, with the exception of MFP forums! It typically just makes people feel guilty about their own lack of effort and spirals down from there.

    Just my opinion.

    Yep, ^this and ^this.
  • Barbellsandthimbles
    Barbellsandthimbles Posts: 205 Member
    Yes, my family feels slighted if I don't eat the junk they offer me! Maybe with your mom it's more of an education thing. My mom has it in her head that cardio is better than lifting because it burns more calories (so why wouldn't I just do more cardio?). I have to explain why building more muscle is just as good for you.
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
    My house is filled with cookies, chips, junk food gallore! I get told, "its for me and the kids." I dont give a choice on my fitness my life, my future all depends on it. Days I feel adrift alone in a sea, but I look forward to my workouts, so it balances out. No one is going to ••••ing stop me.
  • tz93
    tz93 Posts: 1 Member
    Happens to me all the time. My wife will come home from work with a high-calorie dessert, or make something unhealthy for dinner when she knows how hard I've been working to get my weight down again. It is very frustrating.
  • pg3ibew
    pg3ibew Posts: 1,026 Member
    Happens to me all the time. My wife will come home from work with a high-calorie dessert, or make something unhealthy for dinner when she knows how hard I've been working to get my weight down again. It is very frustrating.

    Sometimes, just sometimes, a good swift kick to the side of the head will learn dem *****es.
  • RokkinRobin
    RokkinRobin Posts: 13
    i've learned to
    a) not talk about it
    B) ignore people
    c) smile and nod
    d) secretly hate people


    I so agree with this. When people ask why I'm not indulging in the cookies or treats people are bringing, I say it's because I am trying to have better control of my type 1 diabetes, not to lose weight. They will support the diabetes thing, but if you tell them you're trying to drop a few pounds, it is "oh, just one [brownie, cookie, piece of cake, candy bar, piece of pie, muffin, etc] can't hurt you". Yes it can... if I give in once, I will do it again.
  • AllyCatXandi
    AllyCatXandi Posts: 329 Member
    Yep. My mom was happy when she saw that I'd lost weight. Until she found out I weighed 1kg less than her. Then it was "OMG YOU MUST GAIN WEIGHT NOW, YOU'RE TOO SKINNY!"

    Sigh.
  • jadedzen
    jadedzen Posts: 221 Member
    i've found this more among some of my female friends, it's almost like a jealousy thing. Some of my friends are really awesome about it and are following their own diet plans but i had one friend in particular who would make some of the meanest comments on my efforts to lose weight. she is no longer a friend, even though i'd known her since high school. i pretty much just don't talk about it except with my circle of about 5 friends who are all trying to support each other in our lifestyle changes. it's kinda like religion and politics... it's usually a topic that doesn't end well.

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