No compliments on weight loss...

mariagabriella

my family and coworkers have all noticed and have said something, but my friends and people I went to school with have not.

weird huh. I guess it can be awkward to comment on weight loss, or people might just be jealous.

speedisoverrated

Honestly, completely the opposite.

People kept commenting that I looked slim, which then made me think 'they all thought I was fat before but never said anything'. It also became the only thing people talked to me about if they hadn't seen me for a while.

That sounds odd when said out loud (on a forum, so not said out loud at all) but hopefully someone will agree. Hopefully. Anyone? No?

Darn.

M08distel

It is awesome when someone works hard to lose weight for the right reasons. A lot of us have mindsets about the way we see ourselves. I have lost over 100 pounds since my surgery but I gained back about 20 due to a variety of setbacks. I still see myself the way I did when i weighed 309. I know in my mind that I really do look different but "seeing " it is hard. With that being said, there could be so many reasons why people are not complimenting you. The most obvious assumption would be jealousy. How many of them have been trying to lose weight and are not succeeding? Have you been open about your efforts and willing to discuss your progress with others who are dealing with these same issues? Does your work place discourage person talk during business hour? Are you really close to these people enough so that they would feel comfortable approaching you? I have an acquaintance who has lost 182 pounds but is so closed off about it that people are afraid to even mention the subject. Be careful what you wish for. When my loss got to be noticeable, I ran into a friend whom I had not seen in about15 years When I spoke to her & she finally realized who I was, her first words were " Gosh, I didn't recognize you, you look like you lost about a million pounds!" Always quick with a response, I said " No, not a million but close". Then wished her a good day and walked off. The next time I saw her she apologized right off the bat saying that she never meant for it to come out that way, that she was simply amazed that I had lost so much and that I looked really good. We laughed about it but it still made me question what other people had seen before & what they were seeing now. The bottom line is simply this. You did this for yourself and that is the only person who' s opinion counts! Don't depend on others to compliment you, do it yourself. Then you will know the words spoken are sincere. Good luck with your continued success. One other thing, when people realize you don't need to hear them they usually become more vocal.

M08distel

You're right about that. I'm always wondering what they saw me as before losing weight or did they even see me at all? I make sure the topic doesn't stay on my weight for more than a couple of minutes. That is when you find out how shallow some people are. True friends will get the hint.

Mrshonopolist05

I have lost 51 pounds in 5 months and most of my "family and friends" don't say a word. It feels horrible, but these people and I have not been on friendly terms. On the other hand it feels horrible, because we were so close just right before I started this journey and they know how much I needed this and they still don't care. But I know that I have done sooo much for myself that it doesn't matter how they react. They will be looking like the douche bags when I'm 80 lbs down and they still haven't said a thing!

alexveksler

I work from home weeks at the time before I go and see my clients. But I have not seen my management team in months. Recently we had video conf on Google Hangout and when 4 of them connected and saw me on a web cam for the first time they all said "Damn, what happened? Are you sick?" Made me laugh.

super_monty

Some people might be jealous.

tabulator32

Some people might be jealous.

This.

A lot of people at my office have been generous with their compliments but a handful of the overweight people are simply rude about it. One rotund woman laughed at me, said I look weak and told me I need to eat something. She said this in front of her friends who all thought it was quite amusing. Later on, when she asked me to move some of her office furniture, I told her I couldn't do it because I was apparently way too weak. :indifferent:

I did retain enough tact to not say she needed the exercise more than me.

:huh:

daoc1972

I noticed a co-worker had lost some (a lot of?) weight and mentioned that I noticed. I did not imply that it was good or bad, just that I noticed. I did not speak with her beforehand about weight or other health issues. I put it on her to continue on the subject. Basically, she said "Yes, I did." She didn't get excited or go into the hows and whys of it, so I just let it go.

I have a friend who had major health problems that was only exacerbated by the extra weight she was carrying. After she had surgery to lose weight, I commented on how glad I was that she had lost so much weight. I was comfortable telling her that because we had talked about it before.

For me, it's awkward for someone to mention out of the blue about weight loss (or gain) when I know we had not discussed it before. Some people are very sensitive about talking about weight loss often because they have their own weight issues. Do not take it at all personally that people "don't notice" your changes. It's very possible that they do notice and simply don't say anything to you for entirely their own reasons.

I have two aunts who suddenly "gained weight" in two very localized places, but I would never mention it to them out of the blue. I would totally let them open that subject if they were so inclined.

Capt_Apollo

don't worry about it, and don't get people to notice it either. i made a comment to my uncle when i had lost about 20 pounds, and his replay was "keep losing." (he's a d!#k) i saw him again last week and i didn't bring up exercise or anything and he said i had gained more weight and that my face looks fat.

dawnal1028

Hugs for you and I feel your pain, I too work at a school and people say nothing but is that all you' re going to eat for lunch?? :laugh: the jokes on them, I plan on being around to enjoy retirement, them well.....

I'm a teacher and can relate so well to this and a few of the other comments from teachers! I became vegan last November, lost 20 pounds pretty quickly, and no one said anything at school. All I hear is, "When are you going to eat meat again?" or get weird looks at my healthy lunches. I've been teaching a long time but it never ceases to amaze me how teachers act when there are situations like this.
Everyone have a great school year and I hope everybody gets recognized for their efforts, too.

Ravin714

meshashesha20 your comment actually made me laugh out loud! LOL Yeah I don't want anyone gloating over my dentist or Dr's visits either...

joeamendiola

I know how you feel. When I was younger I took up bike riding and weight lifting. I lost a lot of weight and the only difference I noticed was, people stopped calling me "Fat *kitten*" and "Chunkers".

tequila09

definitely know what you mean!! i've noticed that when you're taller (i'm 5'8 also) we carry our weight better so we have to lose much more for it to be noticeable to other people.

RockaholicMama

:flowerforyou: Just keep up the hard work, they'll pay off soon. You always have us here on MFP.

sevencallmemom

I lost 50 and no one noticed...made me so crazy (because I had worked SO HARD), I cut off all my hair just to have SOMETHING reflect the change I was feeling on the inside and then everyone noticed the weight loss. Weird.

The people at my son's therapy place though, they never said a word despite seeing me 3 days a week. Then when I got there one day, I got out of the van and my pants were slipping down (LOL) and as I was pulling them up, my son's physical therapist happened to be getting out of his vehicle and saw me (embarrassing, much?) and his jaw dropped and he was all "DANG GIRL! How much have you lost?!" and I was proud to say 90 lbs. (but still a tiny bit annoyed that it had taken 90 lbs for anyone there to notice! LOL)

suziecue66

I have never found anyone jealous when I lose weight. Only compliments.

suziecue66

So, I am doing this FOR ME, but does anyone else get sick of.people not noticing your efforts? I have lost almost 30 lbs this year and started weight training and gone from a size 16 to a 10. I am 5'8 (and a half) and started at 190 and am almost down to 160. I dropped 15 lbs this summer from working my rear end off and just saw some colleagues I haven't seen since school let out (I teach) and NO ONE commented. No, "Wow, you are looking good" or "Have you lost weight?" I just feel like I am working so hard, and no one notices/cares. I guess I just need an internet hug .

Going from a size 16 to a size 10 you will definitely see the difference.

kittyconni

First of all....CONGRATS!! Losing weight takes determination, sacrifice and hard work. It is a HUGE lifestyle change and you should be congratulated!!

I have lost 55 pounds so far. Went from a tight size 20 to an 11/12. I am a nurse and wore the same scrubs for awhile so people started noticing when my scrubs started looking more like loose fitting pajamas! Also, I wear more form fitting clothes and people notice.

Don't take it too personally that people aren't giving you a big high 5. Weight is a really touchy subject when it comes to women (and some men). Just keep posting your progress on the MFP boards...you will get plenty of congrats!!

Keep up the great work!

dixnshae

Too many compliments and I lose motivation to keep going. I guess I need to still see myself as needing to improve more and the suggestion (in my mind) that I might have already gotten there is too easy to go with. Some compliments are great though

KahuNZ

I commented on your achievement

Pimpmonkey

So, I am doing this FOR ME, but does anyone else get sick of.people not noticing your efforts? I have lost almost 30 lbs this year and started weight training and gone from a size 16 to a 10. I am 5'8 (and a half) and started at 190 and am almost down to 160. I dropped 15 lbs this summer from working my rear end off and just saw some colleagues I haven't seen since school let out (I teach) and NO ONE commented. No, "Wow, you are looking good" or "Have you lost weight?" I just feel like I am working so hard, and no one notices/cares. I guess I just need an internet hug .

They might be afraid to insult you if they "notice" that you were bigger before. Some people get really offended if you point out that they lost weight (not me mind you, I'd be freaking thrilled!!!) because they like to pretend like they were never bigger than they are now and especially in the workforce some people prefer to play it safe.

I told my sister I liked her new shorts one time and got punched in the gut. Come to find out they just fit better because she had lost weight. Like I said, some people take it differently than others!

ShellySwickSmall57

That can be a double edged sword,,,,,people have said to me,," you look great" and i think,,i thought i looked good before too,,,i am a sexy 55 yrd old nana with some extra weight,,lol,,,if they dont like it,,dont look at it,,,ya know what i mean? :flowerforyou:

maureenec

I'm a teacher too, and I think that when we don't see each other over the summer, sometimes it's awkward to come back together and try to catch up. People are probably overwhelmed with all they have going on to get ready and maybe are just trying to even wrap their heads around all the changes - including yours.

Also, teachers can be some of the unhealthiest people - stress eating and goodies in the teacher's lounge - so there are probably a few who are just plain jealous of your success. I've been slowly and steadily dropping weight and getting into better shape for over a year, and I can count on one hand the number of colleagues who have said anything to me. C'est la vie! Like you said, this is for YOU.

kathyfeelgood

I commend you for all your efforts. People that did not notice, just weren't paying attention.
It's how you feel. You know your accomplishments. Maybe a before and after pic would make
you feel better.

You have just given me inspiration as a newbie to this site. I challenge people to notice and
if they don't, I will say, hey "Look at me"< I am down __ pds and I feel healthy, How are you feeling?

Have a wonderful day..

My Motto:

HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT

Kathy in Ms. :flowerforyou:

Math_Geek

Congratulations on your weight loss and big hugs from here.

I'm a teacher too, I go back to work tomorrow morning. I have worked on losing weight and changing my diet all summer long. I have already been telling myself that "no one is going to notice" to try and protect myself. I don't think I've lost enough yet even though the clothes from last year are too big.

Don't give up, you're absolutely right, we're doing this for ourselves no one else. Hang in there, the stress of teaching and managing students is the hardest thing we do and our weight usually shows it.

I'm not going to let it get to me this year, yoga, meditation and some reflection will hopefully help with the stress.