No compliments on weight loss...

Options
2

Replies

  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
    Options
    Yeah, I've made the mistake of complimenting someone on weight loss & turned out she'd had cancer. I'm sure people have noticed & just not said anything, plus it's harder for people who see you all the time to notice since it has happened over time. It also depends on your body composition, if that 30 lbs was pretty evenly distributed, it might take others longer to notice. I'm sure it's not personal.
  • docdevore
    docdevore Posts: 39 Member
    Options
    Great job on your progress!
    I had to lose around 50 lbs and 2 sizes for anyone to even notice. But, people WILL notice. Sometimes people just don't want to comment cause they're unsure if you're ok and stuff.

    Keep it up, the comments will start coming :)
  • dmcintyre2439
    dmcintyre2439 Posts: 5
    Options
    Hugs for you and I feel your pain, I too work at a school and people say nothing but is that all you' re going to eat for lunch?? :laugh: the jokes on them, I plan on being around to enjoy retirement, them well.....
  • dmcintyre2439
    dmcintyre2439 Posts: 5
    Options
    Hugs for you and I feel your pain, I too work at a school and people say nothing but is that all you' re going to eat for lunch?? :laugh: the jokes on them, I plan on being around to enjoy retirement, them well.....
  • SWilkins75
    SWilkins75 Posts: 277 Member
    Options
    Congrats on the weight loss!
    So in other words, other people don't really notice until you lose about 50-60lbs?? I have lost 30 and I am more excited than anyone. No one has really said,"You look like you've lost weight"..But I think a lot has to do with certain people seeing you every day (or close) through your journey. DO NOT get discourage now, esp after all of the hard work you've put in!
  • darlilama
    darlilama Posts: 794 Member
    Options
    It's a funny thing. There was a poster I read a while back that was upset because people DID comment! He took the "You look great!" as an insult that he'd looked terrible before. Sometimes there's just no winning.

    Your co-workers may be noticing, but may not feel it's "politically correct" to mention it. YOU can always bring it up casually…. "I have so much more energy since I took some weight off. It will make keeping up with the kids this year so much easier." I bet then you'll get "Oh, I thought you had, but I wasn't sure I should say anything. I can really tell!"

    Congratulations on your success!
  • happyfeetrebel1
    happyfeetrebel1 Posts: 1,005 Member
    Options
    I forgot to add. I work at the same place where my hubby does. I open, he closes. Several people who have NOT said anything to me about my loss, have approached him, they were afraid I was sick. I thought it was sweet that they cared, but it was sort of weird that they didn't just ask me.
  • SWilkins75
    SWilkins75 Posts: 277 Member
    Options
    I forgot to add. I work at the same place where my hubby does. I open, he closes. Several people who have NOT said anything to me about my loss, have approached him, they were afraid I was sick. I thought it was sweet that they cared, but it was sort of weird that they didn't just ask me.
    I would definitely know if someone lost over 100lbs!!!!!! I would ask how they did it. Of course if it was because they were sick, I'd feel like poo.
  • Barberini
    Barberini Posts: 140 Member
    Options
    I lost 15 pounds between January and May, and when I reached my goal I was so excited and proud if myself that I posted about it on Facebook. Once I did that, people started commenting. It was as though they noticed but didn't want to say anything, but once I acknowledged that I was trying to lose weight, they had permission so mention it, too. It also helps in a social setting now everyone is aware that I'm living a healthier lifestyle, they don't try to force bad foods onto me.
  • beekuzz
    beekuzz Posts: 428 Member
    Options
    :flowerforyou: You definitely deserve hugs. You've done a great job. I agree that they are probably jealous as well. Keep that pride for yourself, but I can understand how it feels. I've been on both sides: Years ago, I lost about 50 lbs and all my work buddies were watching it just fall off. They mentioned it all the time, so that got a bit embarrassing after awhile. But, I didn't bother to learn to maintain my progress, so I gained that and more back.

    Now, here's the kicker: My older daughter (30) told my younger daughter (18) that she feels bad but that she just DOES NOT WANT TO BE SUPPORTIVE to me. So turns out she's ignoring the changes I'm going through. Guess she is going through the "I hate my mother" phase of her life. But, I push on - FOR ME!!! And it's working. I'm determined to meet my goal before I turn 50 in Sept 2013, and very soon afterwards.

    Good luck and keep strong. If I can do this with my own daughter dissing me, then anyone can! :heart:
  • mariagabriella
    mariagabriella Posts: 267 Member
    Options
    my family and coworkers have all noticed and have said something, but my friends and people I went to school with have not.

    weird huh. I guess it can be awkward to comment on weight loss, or people might just be jealous.
  • speedisoverrated
    speedisoverrated Posts: 38
    Options
    Honestly, completely the opposite.

    People kept commenting that I looked slim, which then made me think 'they all thought I was fat before but never said anything'. It also became the only thing people talked to me about if they hadn't seen me for a while.

    That sounds odd when said out loud (on a forum, so not said out loud at all) but hopefully someone will agree. Hopefully. Anyone? No?

    Darn.
  • M08distel
    M08distel Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    It is awesome when someone works hard to lose weight for the right reasons. A lot of us have mindsets about the way we see ourselves. I have lost over 100 pounds since my surgery but I gained back about 20 due to a variety of setbacks. I still see myself the way I did when i weighed 309. I know in my mind that I really do look different but "seeing " it is hard. With that being said, there could be so many reasons why people are not complimenting you. The most obvious assumption would be jealousy. How many of them have been trying to lose weight and are not succeeding? Have you been open about your efforts and willing to discuss your progress with others who are dealing with these same issues? Does your work place discourage person talk during business hour? Are you really close to these people enough so that they would feel comfortable approaching you? I have an acquaintance who has lost 182 pounds but is so closed off about it that people are afraid to even mention the subject. Be careful what you wish for. When my loss got to be noticeable, I ran into a friend whom I had not seen in about15 years When I spoke to her & she finally realized who I was, her first words were " Gosh, I didn't recognize you, you look like you lost about a million pounds!" Always quick with a response, I said " No, not a million but close". Then wished her a good day and walked off. The next time I saw her she apologized right off the bat saying that she never meant for it to come out that way, that she was simply amazed that I had lost so much and that I looked really good. We laughed about it but it still made me question what other people had seen before & what they were seeing now. The bottom line is simply this. You did this for yourself and that is the only person who' s opinion counts! Don't depend on others to compliment you, do it yourself. Then you will know the words spoken are sincere. Good luck with your continued success. One other thing, when people realize you don't need to hear them they usually become more vocal.
  • M08distel
    M08distel Posts: 16 Member
    Options
    You're right about that. I'm always wondering what they saw me as before losing weight or did they even see me at all? I make sure the topic doesn't stay on my weight for more than a couple of minutes. That is when you find out how shallow some people are. True friends will get the hint.
  • Mrshonopolist05
    Mrshonopolist05 Posts: 9 Member
    Options
    I have lost 51 pounds in 5 months and most of my "family and friends" don't say a word. It feels horrible, but these people and I have not been on friendly terms. On the other hand it feels horrible, because we were so close just right before I started this journey and they know how much I needed this and they still don't care. But I know that I have done sooo much for myself that it doesn't matter how they react. They will be looking like the douche bags when I'm 80 lbs down and they still haven't said a thing!
  • alexveksler
    alexveksler Posts: 409 Member
    Options
    I work from home weeks at the time before I go and see my clients. But I have not seen my management team in months. Recently we had video conf on Google Hangout and when 4 of them connected and saw me on a web cam for the first time they all said "Damn, what happened? Are you sick?" Made me laugh.
  • super_monty
    super_monty Posts: 419 Member
    Options
    Some people might be jealous.
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
    Options
    Some people might be jealous.

    This.

    A lot of people at my office have been generous with their compliments but a handful of the overweight people are simply rude about it. One rotund woman laughed at me, said I look weak and told me I need to eat something. She said this in front of her friends who all thought it was quite amusing. Later on, when she asked me to move some of her office furniture, I told her I couldn't do it because I was apparently way too weak. :indifferent:

    I did retain enough tact to not say she needed the exercise more than me.

    :huh:
  • daoc1972
    daoc1972 Posts: 92 Member
    Options
    I noticed a co-worker had lost some (a lot of?) weight and mentioned that I noticed. I did not imply that it was good or bad, just that I noticed. I did not speak with her beforehand about weight or other health issues. I put it on her to continue on the subject. Basically, she said "Yes, I did." She didn't get excited or go into the hows and whys of it, so I just let it go.

    I have a friend who had major health problems that was only exacerbated by the extra weight she was carrying. After she had surgery to lose weight, I commented on how glad I was that she had lost so much weight. I was comfortable telling her that because we had talked about it before.

    For me, it's awkward for someone to mention out of the blue about weight loss (or gain) when I know we had not discussed it before. Some people are very sensitive about talking about weight loss often because they have their own weight issues. Do not take it at all personally that people "don't notice" your changes. It's very possible that they do notice and simply don't say anything to you for entirely their own reasons.

    I have two aunts who suddenly "gained weight" in two very localized places, but I would never mention it to them out of the blue. I would totally let them open that subject if they were so inclined.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    Options
    don't worry about it, and don't get people to notice it either. i made a comment to my uncle when i had lost about 20 pounds, and his replay was "keep losing." (he's a d!#k) i saw him again last week and i didn't bring up exercise or anything and he said i had gained more weight and that my face looks fat.

Categories