How to deal with unsupportive friends??

NoahandPresleysMom

So, I have some friends and co workers who are ridiculously unsupportive of me losing weight. One in particular, we'll call her "Jane" she herself wants to lost 100 lbs but all she eats is fried food, donuts and candy and fast food. She says she just simply cant give it up.Her and her husband have been trying for a second baby and the doctor diagnosed her with PCOS due to weight, and advised her to lose 100 lbs. One day while I was in our breakroom talking to another co worker ,i said yeah I'm down 25 lbs now!! "Jane" says"i hate you" and moved tables. What do i do with her?? I know shes jealous that i've lost weight and she hasn't, and shes a friend of mine. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I am not going to not tell people my achievements just because she's there.

cmriverside

Stop talking about it and people will stop commenting. Ta Da.

Ph4lanx

If she's that petty, then does she really deserve your company? She complains about being fat, then doesn't do anything about it. At least all of us here can say we're working on it or have done in the past. You're stronger than she is. Simple.

Tell her to get over it. If she wants to be able to say the same as you, then she needs to work at it just like you! I have no time for people like that, especially when they're so petty that they move tables to get away from something that wasn't even aimed at them and is simply because of their own petty jealousy.

Zerashen

Try inviting her to dinner or a workout session? Dinner can be home cooked and healthy.

turbophoenix

Haters gonna hate... She's jealous because you're making progress and she's still in denial. I say just ignore them and focus on those that are supportive in your life.

rhonniema

Well I was going to say get a new friend, but since you don't want to lose her as a friend I don't know what to say.
She's going to have to change for her self, hopefully she realizes that soon.

concerto3

Isn't that like an oxymoron? Unsupportive Friends.

If she is not a positive force in your life, she is not a friend. Simple as that!

sarahcuddle

I think true friends would be pleased for you if you lose weight even if they can't. Maybe you should think of backing off from the friendship a little. you could give her some tips on how you've done it, if she's interested. At the end of the day it's our own choices that determine how we do

burtg

First of all she's not really your friend so forget that. All you represent to her is her own failure so, yes, she hates you. Accept that and you can ignore her, try to placate her and you'll just end up sorry. She's like the drowning swimmer who takes the rescuer down with her. Cold, yes, true, yes.

Karstenf

Continue to be excited about your goals, you have worked hard and deserve to be. She obviously has not, and she is just jealous of your progress. Maybe you could help her come up with alternative choices to the foods she "can't do without". I honestly feel this is just a copout for those who don't want to change anything, but I don't know your friend, so it may be different. Definitely try to discuss diet and exercise with her, but if she continues to grit on you for your success, then she is not serious about it herself.

Skeebee

Isn't that like an oxymoron? Unsupportive Friends.

If she is not a positive force in your life, she is not a friend. Simple as that!

Well said

runzalot81

Since she is your friend, keep doing what you're doing but try not to talk about it in front of her. Just let her observe the positive changes. Be very patient. Some day, she might start asking you questions!

She's obviously in a place where she is not ready to face herself and her problems. If she's an important friend, have a little sympathy.

Bijoux_Bug

She can't just get jealous and snotty because your hard work is paying off and hers isn't.
If she really wants to lose the weight and have a healthy baby she's just going to have to work for it.

Don't let it bring you down.
She's just going to have to put on her big girl pants and deal with it!

dandaninc

I recOmend you keep talking about it and telling people of your accOmplishments!! I don't care if people are tired of hearing it or give me crap about it. If they aren't proud of you they aren't friends. I hope people are jealous. I've worked really hard to lose the weight I have.

Person192

Well I'm sure it's really hard for her and PCOS will make it even harder to lose weight. So just don't go on about it when she's there.

Nikachelle

Well at least you won't need enemies with friends like those.

I'd drop that "friend" pretty quickly if they're going to be a 5 year old brat about your successes.

Tat2dDom624

Pay her no mind, and just keep doing what you're doing. Who cares what people think! If she WAS a friend, then she would be supportive in some way.

QueenCaldwell1

Your friend isn't ready to get healthy. Keep going on. If she changes her mind then you can reach down and pull her up.

mermx

Maybe deal with `jane` like she is a 5 yo?

Invite her to a game of `let us plan our food diary for the next few days and who keeps to it wins`?

Or plan each others food diairies. Give each other a list of foods you like and sit down and plan each others diary together...bit over the top I know but sounds like she is jealous so maybe she needs to feel you are still there for her???

alerica1

She's not a friend if she's not happy for you.

_EmmaStrong_

If she is a true friend, she would be 100% supportive of your efforts to have a better life. She is not, pure and simple. You need supportive friends. Just don't talk about your accomplishments around her, if her attitude is going to bringing you down. You don't need that! I had a best friend who dumped me when I became pregnant, because she could not have children. A perfect friendship, down the drain, because of her jealousy