need to get this off my chest

kytte

i'm sick of hearing my husband ***** about how i'm "obsessed" with mfp! he's always talking out his *kitten* about healthy eating and exercising and how many calories one should burn in a day, most of what he says is way off and then he's far from a good example himself sitting there hoovering a bag of chips and 3 plates of biriyani plus 2 beers at night and not eating anything in the day and then saying playing cricket is enough exercise for him. i don't criticize him for what he eats or does, i don't count his calories or nag him to exercise (he's pretty thin already), i am only taking care of my own health. so what's his deal that he has to complain every time i log my calories and calculate my burn?
sometimes i feel like i get more support from strangers on the internet than i do from my husband. and i love him to death, i'm not mad at him, it just annoys the hell out of me especially when he knows that my doc recommended this site to me.

whew!
/vent

peachyxoxoxo

I made a similar post a few days ago. It's tough when the people you care about don't seem supportive. There is lots of support to be found here on MFP though. Just do your thing, maybe he'll eventually start to "get it" when he sees the progress you're making.

kytte

i certainly hope you're right. :-/
you would think of all people he'd be the most supportive *sigh*

mirandamayhem

He needs a high five, in the face, with a chair

KippyBee

I agree with mirandamayhem ^^^

Halleeon

Glad you were able to vent - and that you are going to keep going in spite of...that shows strength and determination, which are 2 of the things we need around here to keep going. Do what you feel you need to do to in order to request more support and less belittling from your husband, in your own time and your own way...just remember to continue to seek out support from others on your journey.

Best of luck to you.


Oh and...don't really slap him in the face with a chair...even though he might deserve it. LOL

kytte

thanks guys, add me if you will so i can build a bigger support group.

i won't let him discourage me, it's just frustrating that he's not doing the opposite.

as for the high five in the face with a chair, i'll keep that in my fantasies only ^_~ lol

2hobbit1

Know it all family members can be a PITA!!!! What ever you do is never good enough for them!

Tell him to talk to your doc when he is being a Ba$$tard! Or you could ask him why he doesn't want you to get healthy? He may be wondering what else you may want to change and afraid it might be him or that your thinking of taking a hike for greener pastures. He may just need a bit of reassurance that your not about to wander.

Hang in there! We know what your up against and can commiserate! Come here when you need a friend to listen.

Hugs.

kytte

it's weird you know because he likes me to be skinny like i was when we met, he doesn't like curvy girls. so you'd think he'd be all over me losing weight but i guess the when you put it that way with the "greener pastures" i can understand how he may feel threatened by it. i never thought about it that way, but regardless he'll just have to get over it and get used to guys givin me the elevator eyes when i get fit ;p

jen10st

Funnily enough I just posted a very similar topic, its good to know I'm not alone with the idiot husband. Mine thinks he fit and healthy but I'd love him to do my full work out with me just once so he'd have some understanding of what I'm putting myself through.

kytte

Funnily enough I just posted a very similar topic, its good to know I'm not alone with the idiot husband. Mine thinks he fit and healthy but I'd love him to do my full work out with me just once so he'd have some understanding of what I'm putting myself through.

LOL whenever I want to exercise when he's home I have to go hide in the bedroom or else face his criticism of my routine. If I asked him to do it with me once he'd laugh in my face, but I get what you mean.
let's not let the small minded men get the best of us

fitbabe49

I think your husband might be jelous of mfp. The time you spend on here is the time you could be spending spoiling him......
Also, subconsciously he might not like that you're getting slimmer and sexier therefor more attractive to other men.

direwolfprincess

I'm in the same boat. I almost have to log in secret so I don't hear his snide remarks. And oh if he catches me reading the information panel on a food product he scoffs. It hurts and I am glad we are not alone. It does help.
He rolls his eye and says it is all ridiculous. *grrrrrrr*

Yanicka1

Sit him down and tell him exactly what you need and don't need from him and how it make you feel.

kytte

I'm in the same boat. I almost have to log in secret so I don't hear his snide remarks. And oh if he catches me reading the information panel on a food product he scoffs. It hurts and I am glad we are not alone. It does help.
He rolls his eye and says it is all ridiculous. *grrrrrrr*

TELL ME ABOUT IT!
He does the exact same thing to me! And last week it was "are you going to end up like one of those obsessed calorie counters who whine 'nooo i can't eat that because it's 7 calories too many!'?
yesterday he was rolling his eyes and commenting while i logged on mfp, and saying that all my calculations are wrong because "even a cheeseburger is like 1300 calories, yeah i should eat two of those before my big game tomorrow so i have more energy to burn off" and while logging my 1hr walk? "that's it? that's all you burned? LOL omg, i burn more calories than you when i play cricket!" finally i got pissed at him and i told him that my calculations are not incorrect, that i feel like i get more support from people on the internet than i do from him (which he scoffed at), and 1 hr of brisk walking is a lot for me, 300 calories is really great for me. then i showed him that the calculations for what he'd burn during a game of cricket and that his 1hr game isn't burning any more than my 1hr walk. BAM! stfu fool!

katejkelley

I hear ya! :drinker:

Tony_Brewski

Im not in the same boat so much, I do have a neighbor and now former workout buddy that'd chew me out for how I'd eat and exercise it was all wrong. His best friend is a boxing trainer and knows EVERYTHING about working out and eating. (lol) I've lost and toned my 'friend' has gained about 30lbs, amazing what 6-12 sodas a day does and doing 100 situps (lifting shoulders off floor is not a situp) does for a body, oh and 3-5 plates at dinner.

thankfully my wife gives me a blank check for my fitness and diet. I do feel guilty though as I hear "Well you got to buy this this and this and I need stuff too" ugh. Than "You're melting away and Im not" yet she doesnt do anything about it. Blah blah blah /ventoff.

I think in the end we can all relate to your pains!

Tony_Brewski

I'm in the same boat. I almost have to log in secret so I don't hear his snide remarks. And oh if he catches me reading the information panel on a food product he scoffs. It hurts and I am glad we are not alone. It does help.
He rolls his eye and says it is all ridiculous. *grrrrrrr*

Than when you're rocking a sixpack you can poke him in the belly and scoff back.

kytte

I'm in the same boat. I almost have to log in secret so I don't hear his snide remarks. And oh if he catches me reading the information panel on a food product he scoffs. It hurts and I am glad we are not alone. It does help.
He rolls his eye and says it is all ridiculous. *grrrrrrr*

Than when you're rocking a sixpack you can poke him in the belly and scoff back.

Precisely!! Right in the beer gut! LOL

psse01

I have had the frustrating experience of being with an unsupportive, critical man. Everything was wrong...from the way I sliced tomatoes to the way I hung his shirts up in the closet...even the music I listened to (when he wasn't around...it was always his music when we were together). In retrospect I don't think he thought he was being critical...he just thought his way was the only way. He was just passing along the way he was treated growing up.
As hard as it is to stay positive when you are feeling beat down by the one person who is supposed to have your back...try and remember that his need to criticize and control is HIS problem...not yours. Water off a duck's back!!

swat1948

"like" lol

direwolfprincess

I'm in the same boat. I almost have to log in secret so I don't hear his snide remarks. And oh if he catches me reading the information panel on a food product he scoffs. It hurts and I am glad we are not alone. It does help.
He rolls his eye and says it is all ridiculous. *grrrrrrr*

Than when you're rocking a sixpack you can poke him in the belly and scoff back.

Precisely!! Right in the beer gut! LOL

OH HELL YEA!!

AmyFett

Mine gets mad at me for 'not eating enough' I'm sorry, but according to MFP, I'm eating enough, and I'm eating healthier. He should be happy for me, right? I'm getting annoyed with him.

AmyFett

I'm in the same boat. I almost have to log in secret so I don't hear his snide remarks. And oh if he catches me reading the information panel on a food product he scoffs. It hurts and I am glad we are not alone. It does help.
He rolls his eye and says it is all ridiculous. *grrrrrrr*

Than when you're rocking a sixpack you can poke him in the belly and scoff back.

Precisely!! Right in the beer gut! LOL

OH HELL YEA!!

omg mine does that too! when i check the nutrition panels.. ugh.. he's getting annoyed with me too, trying to get the kids to eat more fruit and not allowing so many chips anymore...

MissShancey

He needs a high five, in the face, with a chair

^ this

i have always been a double high five girl my self ... i think he needs 2

smokegecko

I'd wager there may be some insecurity in that you're getting fit and doing something for yourself which doesn't require him.

swat1948

I'm in the same boat...don't care what it is I do...it is never done the right way as he knows it all. Like the comment about giving him a high five in the face with a chair. Not that I would do it but sometimes I feel like it.

kytte

I have had the frustrating experience of being with an unsupportive, critical man. Everything was wrong...from the way I sliced tomatoes to the way I hung his shirts up in the closet...even the music I listened to (when he wasn't around...it was always his music when we were together). In retrospect I don't think he thought he was being critical...he just thought his way was the only way. He was just passing along the way he was treated growing up.
As hard as it is to stay positive when you are feeling beat down by the one person who is supposed to have your back...try and remember that his need to criticize and control is HIS problem...not yours. Water off a duck's back!!

You're right and I deal with this every day with anything and everything, not just with mfp, right down to the tomatoes and music. And I agree, a lot of it is just the way he grew up and the different culture from another country, being the first born etc etc. On the other hand, I think it's also a lack of us being seen as a couple by other people often enough. I mean if anyone saw the way we talked to each other I'd get scolded for mothering him and being ocd, and he'd get hen pecked for apparent lack of respect for me. But, it's just another day and I try to ignore it the best I can and get on with it.

KrazyAsianNic

I agree. I'm not married, but my boyfriend thinks I spend too much time here. I just started getting into forums and it's really nice the support we have for each other. I got him to leave me alone a little bit when I asked if he rather me on MFP or FB... Some people just don't understand.

kytte

I'd wager there may be some insecurity in that you're getting fit and doing something for yourself which doesn't require him.

i reckon you are correct about that.

kytte

I agree. I'm not married, but my boyfriend thinks I spend too much time here. I just started getting into forums and it's really nice the support we have for each other. I got him to leave me alone a little bit when I asked if he rather me on MFP or FB... Some people just don't understand.

LMAO that's a good one I need to try that, he's always critical of fb too haha!