need to get this off my chest

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24

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  • direwolfprincess
    direwolfprincess Posts: 261 Member
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    I'm in the same boat. I almost have to log in secret so I don't hear his snide remarks. And oh if he catches me reading the information panel on a food product he scoffs. It hurts and I am glad we are not alone. It does help.
    He rolls his eye and says it is all ridiculous. *grrrrrrr*

    Than when you're rocking a sixpack you can poke him in the belly and scoff back. :D

    Precisely!! Right in the beer gut! LOL

    OH HELL YEA!!
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
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    Mine gets mad at me for 'not eating enough' I'm sorry, but according to MFP, I'm eating enough, and I'm eating healthier. He should be happy for me, right? I'm getting annoyed with him.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
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    I'm in the same boat. I almost have to log in secret so I don't hear his snide remarks. And oh if he catches me reading the information panel on a food product he scoffs. It hurts and I am glad we are not alone. It does help.
    He rolls his eye and says it is all ridiculous. *grrrrrrr*

    Than when you're rocking a sixpack you can poke him in the belly and scoff back. :D

    Precisely!! Right in the beer gut! LOL

    OH HELL YEA!!

    omg mine does that too! when i check the nutrition panels.. ugh.. he's getting annoyed with me too, trying to get the kids to eat more fruit and not allowing so many chips anymore...
  • MissShancey
    MissShancey Posts: 464
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    He needs a high five, in the face, with a chair

    ^ this

    i have always been a double high five girl my self ... i think he needs 2
  • smokegecko
    smokegecko Posts: 1 Member
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    I'd wager there may be some insecurity in that you're getting fit and doing something for yourself which doesn't require him.
  • swat1948
    swat1948 Posts: 302 Member
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    I'm in the same boat...don't care what it is I do...it is never done the right way as he knows it all. Like the comment about giving him a high five in the face with a chair. Not that I would do it but sometimes I feel like it.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
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    I have had the frustrating experience of being with an unsupportive, critical man. Everything was wrong...from the way I sliced tomatoes to the way I hung his shirts up in the closet...even the music I listened to (when he wasn't around...it was always his music when we were together). In retrospect I don't think he thought he was being critical...he just thought his way was the only way. He was just passing along the way he was treated growing up.
    As hard as it is to stay positive when you are feeling beat down by the one person who is supposed to have your back...try and remember that his need to criticize and control is HIS problem...not yours. Water off a duck's back!!
    You're right and I deal with this every day with anything and everything, not just with mfp, right down to the tomatoes and music. And I agree, a lot of it is just the way he grew up and the different culture from another country, being the first born etc etc. On the other hand, I think it's also a lack of us being seen as a couple by other people often enough. I mean if anyone saw the way we talked to each other I'd get scolded for mothering him and being ocd, and he'd get hen pecked for apparent lack of respect for me. But, it's just another day and I try to ignore it the best I can and get on with it.
  • KrazyAsianNic
    KrazyAsianNic Posts: 1,227 Member
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    I agree. I'm not married, but my boyfriend thinks I spend too much time here. I just started getting into forums and it's really nice the support we have for each other. I got him to leave me alone a little bit when I asked if he rather me on MFP or FB... Some people just don't understand.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
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    I'd wager there may be some insecurity in that you're getting fit and doing something for yourself which doesn't require him.
    i reckon you are correct about that.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
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    I agree. I'm not married, but my boyfriend thinks I spend too much time here. I just started getting into forums and it's really nice the support we have for each other. I got him to leave me alone a little bit when I asked if he rather me on MFP or FB... Some people just don't understand.

    LMAO that's a good one I need to try that, he's always critical of fb too haha!
  • UnderCoverShyGirl
    UnderCoverShyGirl Posts: 254 Member
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    I feel like this happens with "everyone"...i think part of the scoff is that i'm fat and looking at healthy things and they act like it doesn't make a difference or "why should i bother, it obviously doesn't help". I feel the same lack of support sometimes regarding happy hours and eating out with friends. They know how hard it is for me, because i've expressed it, to control myself in the face of a table of yummy things, yet they invite me and order everything bad on the menu! Not that it's their fault, i guess i shouldn't go...but sometimes i wished they would just try to be healthier too...they talk about it just as much, yet don't seem to be doing much about it. I think everyone has their own idea of what they want to do and what works, yet out of most of them, i seem to be the one that actually has lost weight...even though it's taking forever and i still have tons to go! I love my friends, i love my social times, but i would love for them to be less about food and more about...i don't even know, something healthier! I guess i should come up with things to invite them to! Stumped! LOL

    I used to have a boyfriend that was always telling me what i should and shouldn't do to lose weight and remark on what i was eating, even though he was a good 100 overweight and not doing anything about it. Thankfully he is paying more attention now...and we're only friends so he isn't around to make comments LOL
  • SWilkins75
    SWilkins75 Posts: 277 Member
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    He needs a high five, in the face, with a chair
    Right? Time for a new husband lol jp :P
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
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    I feel like this happens with "everyone"...i think part of the scoff is that i'm fat and looking at healthy things and they act like it doesn't make a difference or "why should i bother, it obviously doesn't help". I feel the same lack of support sometimes regarding happy hours and eating out with friends. They know how hard it is for me, because i've expressed it, to control myself in the face of a table of yummy things, yet they invite me and order everything bad on the menu! Not that it's their fault, i guess i shouldn't go...but sometimes i wished they would just try to be healthier too...they talk about it just as much, yet don't seem to be doing much about it. I think everyone has their own idea of what they want to do and what works, yet out of most of them, i seem to be the one that actually has lost weight...even though it's taking forever and i still have tons to go! I love my friends, i love my social times, but i would love for them to be less about food and more about...i don't even know, something healthier! I guess i should come up with things to invite them to! Stumped! LOL

    I used to have a boyfriend that was always telling me what i should and shouldn't do to lose weight and remark on what i was eating, even though he was a good 100 overweight and not doing anything about it. Thankfully he is paying more attention now...and we're only friends so he isn't around to make comments LOL

    What if you tried like a girls night in dinner party with "healthier" cocktail choices and you cooked up a bunch of your favorite healthy meals but just act like it's your everyday thing, not enthusing on the health benefits and just wait for the compliments to come rolling in and the "i MUST have this recipe!"

    http://greatist.com/health/60-healthier-drinks-for-boozing-030712/#
  • UnderCoverShyGirl
    UnderCoverShyGirl Posts: 254 Member
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    LOL, after reading my post i realize it was more of my own "squak" than answering yours LOL! I really do know what you mean though, it's so frustrating to get comments when you are trying to do something good!

    Totally checking out the link you sent, i definately need some ideas!
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
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    your squak or mine, it's all heard ;)
  • TheTrimTim
    TheTrimTim Posts: 222 Member
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    I think there are many of us that have the same issues. I do. My wife is my soulmate and without her I'd be lost, but she can be the most unless unsupportive person at times, it drives me mad.
  • Dyetcoke1
    Dyetcoke1 Posts: 54 Member
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    He sounds very insecure. You can either "go deaf" and pretend you cant hear him. Walk into another room, or pick a time you know he will be receptive and tell him how you feel "criticized, hurt, unsupported" and.tell him what you DO want "encouragement, love, support". If you are yakking with him about MFP and he is negative the message may be "MFP.is boring to.me. I am more intersted in talking about cricket." If so, find a sister, brother or friend who enjoys the.subject. I enjoy it you can friend me.if you want more support. Stay strong!
  • cole_carter
    cole_carter Posts: 174 Member
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    yeah .. I don't quite understand why a someone would have an issue with their significant other being focused on getting healthy and fit.

    When I start a program like MFP, my moderate case of OCD kicks in and I can't help myself. But then again thats not a bad thing and certainly not cause for criticism. My compliments to you in your effort to forge ahead with taking care of yourself.
  • EffaJane
    EffaJane Posts: 17 Member
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    hard to carry on with this kind of criticism. Need good support..and I will be support for you. We need to all stick
    together for our health!!! good luck to you
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    Do it when he is not around, at work, asleep. Get the app and do it from your phone. Not that you have anything to hide, but there is less for him to argue about if he doesn't see it.

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