Open Relationships?

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  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
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    It works if folks are mature enough to handle it.
    We aren't swingers, per se, but we are rather open. We've been happily married for 12 years. Things like that tend to spice up a couple's sex life if it gets in a rut.

    To me, sex is just sex and adding a third or fourth to the mix just makes more sex.


    exactly, we hate the term, but I agree fully!

    I agree as well. It's nice to see more people who think like I do.
  • Substances
    Substances Posts: 120 Member
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    Go for it, unless you're just doing it to spice things up or fix something.
    In which case it will end very badly.

    I have a friend who's in an open relationship, but there are rules. They are allowed to have other sexual partners, HOWEVER, they must make sure that the partner is very clean, and there are no overnight stays. They sleep together, get up together, eat breakfast together, then go on their merry little ways.
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
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    To all the people who are like "Love is only for one person!! If you want your world to do anything other than revolve around your SO you're doin' it wrong!" Then you guys must obviously not have kids (world no longer revolves around SO) and if you do then you DEFINITELY only have one kid (love is only for one person!!! how could you ever love mroe than one child?!?!?)


    People, you have more than one friend right? More than one person you like to talk to, spend time with? Do you go "This person is only my MOVIE friend, I will watch movies with them and ONLY them. This other person is my SUSHI friend, I will eat sushi with them and only them." If not, then why does SEX have to work that way for you?

    If you love the person you're with, your time with other people will not diminish your relationship with your SO, your relationship with them will still be special because each person in your life should be special to you. The sex you have with person A is not the same sex you have with person B, each person is different, the sex is different, and both should make you happy, if that's what you're going for.

    Jealousy happens. It sucks. But monogamy doesn't mean there's no jealousy, it just means you probably aren't dealing with it openly. The wife who says to her husband "I'm jealous that you are looking at that pretty girl" is probably going to get blown off, the wife in an open relationship (which to me doesn't mean sleeping around, it means negotiated non-monogamy) who says "I'm jealous about the amount of time you spend with your other sweethearts" has hopefully opened the door for a discussion about the jealousy and how to minimize it.

    I just fell in love with you a bit.

    Well I am in an open relationship ;)

    I think I'm in love with you a bit too!

    Well, I'm not in love with you but I sure will sleep with ya'll :bigsmile:
  • zeebruhgirl
    zeebruhgirl Posts: 493 Member
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    No. No. No.

    I could NEVER do it.
    My man is mine and I am his.

    We made that promise together the day he put a ring on my finger and it will be official the day I put one on his.
  • BodyRockerVT
    BodyRockerVT Posts: 323 Member
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    I have been married for 4 years and together with my husband 10.

    We were in an open relationship for awhile and all was fine.

    We later called it off for our own reasons and all is fine. Between people that care about each other, and with CLEAR ground rules, not an issue.
  • MissShancey
    MissShancey Posts: 464
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    whats the difference between roommates who sleep together and a couple in an open relationship?
    how do you maintain intimacy?
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    It works if folks are mature enough to handle it.

    :laugh: I guess my husband and I are way too immature for that kind of a relationship. We are VERY attached, and sex isn't just sex to us. It's how we communicate and relate as a bonded pair. It's not for sharing...Selfish of us, I know! :smooched:
  • annielaurie88
    annielaurie88 Posts: 86 Member
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    i think it is 100% wrong. there has to be something deep down that is boring the both of you. i dont see how having sex with someone new will help a relationship or spice it up. all it does it take away from that said relationship and it is just plain wrong! cheating all the way, i dont care if the other person in the relationship knows or not. still messed up.

    rather than have an open relationship why dont you spice things up between the two of you? or invite a 3rd person in? i dont see how going seperate ways and doing things without your spouse or loved one would work in the long run.

    but like everyone else, this is just my opinion :) do whatever makes you happy. for me to be happy, it is to be in a loving and commited relationship with my significant other! and he is amazing that i dont even need to think about things like that!
  • bemyhoneybee
    bemyhoneybee Posts: 14
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    I couldn't do it, i wouldn't be able to stop picturing him with her and if he liked her better... it would go on and on and wreck our relationship.
  • BodyRockerVT
    BodyRockerVT Posts: 323 Member
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    I couldn't do it, i wouldn't be able to stop picturing him with her and if he liked her better... it would go on and on and wreck our relationship.

    But really, in any relationship where one or both parties has slept with someone before...this is something that could be possible anyway. Maybe my previous partner was WAY better...maybe his was...KWIM? This isn't an issue JUST within open relationships.
  • tamimac12
    tamimac12 Posts: 36
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    no... no... no... and no...

    Edited to add: My marriage vowels said "forsaking all others" it was pretty cut and dry... also talked about cherishing, respecting, honoring... no this "lifestyle" isn't for everyone

    Yes and the bible, marriage and other social constructs are all man made.

    Lets get down to the primal, natural and animalistic nature of who and what humans really are.

    The newspapers are also "man made" but people believe what's printed there...
  • tamimac12
    tamimac12 Posts: 36
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    It works if folks are mature enough to handle it.

    :laugh: I guess my husband and I are way too immature for that kind of a relationship. We are VERY attached, and sex isn't just sex to us. It's how we communicate and relate as a bonded pair. It's not for sharing...Selfish of us, I know! :smooched:

    Same here... :)
  • bemyhoneybee
    bemyhoneybee Posts: 14
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    I couldn't do it, i wouldn't be able to stop picturing him with her and if he liked her better... it would go on and on and wreck our relationship.

    But really, in any relationship where one or both parties has slept with someone before...this is something that could be possible anyway. Maybe my previous partner was WAY better...maybe his was...KWIM? This isn't an issue JUST within open relationships.

    Yes but its not while he is committed to me. I mean if you could do it more power to you, but me personally I couldn't. Once we got married it was only to each other and i just wouldn't be able to handle him having sex with anyone else. Hell even if i seen him kissing someone else it would kill me.
  • LizHowerton
    LizHowerton Posts: 329 Member
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    I couldn't do it, i wouldn't be able to stop picturing him with her and if he liked her better... it would go on and on and wreck our relationship.

    But really, in any relationship where one or both parties has slept with someone before...this is something that could be possible anyway. Maybe my previous partner was WAY better...maybe his was...KWIM? This isn't an issue JUST within open relationships.

    Yes but its not while he is committed to me. I mean if you could do it more power to you, but me personally I couldn't. Once we got married it was only to each other and i just wouldn't be able to handle him having sex with anyone else. Hell even if i seen him kissing someone else it would kill me.

    It would me too.

    I also feel that I have way better sex in a long term relationship than with a quickie or FWB type of situation. I'm just more comfortable with the person.

    I can see where most guys can orgasm with most women they have sex with....I don't know if that's true for women. Atleast for me it takes more for me to be comfortable with somebody...so I don't see why I would want to go elsewhere, I don't think it would be better than what I have at home.
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    I am nowhere near judgmental about anything.

    Neither my wife nor I could handle an open relationship due to significant infidelities by our former partners, but wish the best of luck and fabulous adventures to those that can.

    Take pics and share with the crew...
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    It works if folks are mature enough to handle it.
    :laugh: I guess my husband and I are way too immature for that kind of a relationship. We are VERY attached, and sex isn't just sex to us. It's how we communicate and relate as a bonded pair. It's not for sharing...Selfish of us, I know! :smooched:
    My wife and I have those "total connection" type sessions, but we also have those "get yours and I'll get mine so we can sleep better" nights. Sometimes it's lovemaking, sometimes it's just sex....
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
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    I find it funny that people in mongamous relationships look down their nose at alternative lifestyles, but the divorce rate in traditional marriage is above 50% now days.

    It is way lower in Polyamorous and Polyagamist relationships...................

    Things that make you go hmmmmmm

    I think you're making a very broad generalization here. Marriages end for several reasons, not exclusively sexual ones. Marriages also succeed for several reasons, not exclusively sexual ones.

    Your logic is a bit flawed because your comparing the success/failure rate of marriage based exclusively on one variable i.e. open or closed relationships. It's not statistically valid.

    Like I said...every couple has their definition of intimacy and comfort. There is no right or wrong answer here.
  • Himick
    Himick Posts: 22
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    If it works for you HELL YEAH! Why not do what makes you happy and closer with your partner. As for myself and the wife. No. I'm not against it by any means but just not for her and I. Keep the good times rolling people.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
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    I don't think I could personally do it but I support those who think they can. You have to really trust a person and not have any jealousy issues. Also, being honest and upfront ALL the time. You've gotta tell each other who you're sleeping with for many reasons especially just to be safe.
  • BelleHeart
    BelleHeart Posts: 281 Member
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    just curious, swinging isn't for everyone I hate the term but I do love my husband, but sex is just sex, just curious if anyone has been doing it and had it work for a while?

    No it's not. Whenever you sleep with someone hormones are released that make you attached with that man. We can't help it! Open relationships just lead to trouble.. Don't do it!!

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