I'm so FLIPPIN' tired of this!!!

skyblu263

Venting: I feel so frustrated!!!! Why can't I just put down the crap food and wine??? It's not fast food or going out that is the problem. It's my stupid "comfort" foods at home. Getting off of work and enjoying some wine feels great…though it doesn't feel nearly as great as the feeling I have after I workout. And I know that! Yet, after a week or 2 of working out, counting calories, not eating this or not eating that, I get tired. Tired of all the flippin' limitations! I don't want to count calories or feel like I can't eat this or know that if I drink another glass of wine it's messing up what I've been working at. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't starve myself when I'm watching calories. I love lifting weights, so I take in about 1500-1600 calories a day WHEN I do what I am suppose to do. I don't drink alcohol WHEN I'm on my nutrition kick. But, it's the "don't eat that", "don't drink that", "I know you're tired, but you have to go workout", rules rules rules!! Just writing them makes me feel overwhelmed. It's not hard to lose weight, it comes off when I cut out the bad stuff (cheese…gee whiz. I do love cheese) and workout 4-5 days a week. On average, I lose 2 lbs a week when I do what is needed. But, by week 3 and week 4, I'm so tired of all the "don't do's", I stop. I'm tired you guys. Tired of failing. Tired of counting. Tired of looking at this journey as "all in or nothing." For instance, right now, I could actually go for a little Snickers bite size candy. But, I feel if I eat that, it's just ruining everything! Why eat candy if I'm going to Crossfit to workout today after work??? Knowing I ate junk makes me not want to go workout because I feel like I've already ruined it and it won't matter (I haven't eaten bad today, this is just an example on the days when I do eat something bad.) Any comments or suggestions would be so helpful you guys. I want to succeed this time!

Impy84

While I completely get where you are coming from cuz i feel the same way at times here's the advice i give myself
You are going way too hard.
If you want that lil bite sized snicker GET IT. it's better than the alternative of a whole bar. And yes so what you're going to cross fit later. If you're doing it right you'll burn that snicker off in no time and you didn't deprive yourself.
Deprivation will undo all your hard work. Remember that.

As for your comfort food. go out and buy or repurpose a bowl or small plate just for the use with your comfort food. if you want mac and cheese with dinner. add veggies to it or not but use the small serving plate and continue on your journey.
Life is for living and you have to find balance between healthy and deprivation. NO one should live a life w/o comfort food or wine.

TiredMom12

I totally agree. I have a very busy life with 3 small children, work part-time with a long commute and a needy DH. I really want to lose 15 lbs. and start exercising regularly. But by the end of the day, I'm exhausted, look forward to a few glasses of wine and don't have the energy to put in an exercise DVD or get on the bike for 30 minutes. I want to look and feel good, but hate that this is yet another thing I have to do in my day. I just wish it wasn't so hard, but at 41 it is hard. I'm going to try and focus on Monday through Friday and not worry about the weekends.

meechi53

Check out the "Eat More to Weigh Less" group--

Most there are eating 1900-2100 calories a day and that's CUTTING for weight loss. Maintenance is 2300-2500 a day maybe more--depending on the person. Honey, there's Nothing wrong with a bite size of chocolate or a glass of wine. Don't beat yourself up over it. :-(

eileen_k789

I was just reading about Jessica ennis, diet. She has the occasional glass of wine or square of chocolate.
And if that,s good enough for a gold medal olympian...

Dont deny yourself a treat
DONT make deprivation an issue
:flowerforyou:

shannond1980

Life is for living and you have to find balance between healthy and deprivation. NO one should live a life w/o comfort food or wine.

^^ This. I lost 70lbs a few years ago by over-training 2-3 hrs sometimes more a day and being extremely strict on diet and life happened and ended up gaining back at least half of that. This time around I'm going with the above advice and trying to do this in a way that doesn't involve cutting out everything. I know it works for some people. But it's not realistic for myself. My $0.02

AllTehBeers

I don't understand why you feel you need so many rules. Fit your wine and snickers bar in every day. I would go nuts if I tried to eat by some of the "rules" these people have.

JenniBaby85

While I completely get where you are coming from cuz i feel the same way at times here's the advice i give myself
You are going way too hard.
If you want that lil bite sized snicker GET IT. it's better than the alternative of a whole bar. And yes so what you're going to cross fit later. If you're doing it right you'll burn that snicker off in no time and you didn't deprive yourself.
Deprivation will undo all your hard work. Remember that.

As for your comfort food. go out and buy or repurpose a bowl or small plate just for the use with your comfort food. if you want mac and cheese with dinner. add veggies to it or not but use the small serving plate and continue on your journey.
Life is for living and you have to find balance between healthy and deprivation. NO one should live a life w/o comfort food or wine.

100% agree! Portion control is key. Just don't over indulge, and don't be too hard on yourself.

Telugammayi87

Check out the "Eat More to Weigh Less" group--

Most there are eating 1900-2100 calories a day and that's CUTTING for weight loss. Maintenance is 2300-2500 a day maybe more--depending on the person. Honey, there's Nothing wrong with a bite size of chocolate or a glass of wine. Don't beat yourself up over it. :-(

^^
this... I ate donuts and chocolate last week and lost 3 pounds! It IS about moderation. My "previous" ways I would have eaten 4 doughnuts and 6 bars of chocolate! As long as these foods don't make up the majority of your diet, then go for it! indulge! We're all stuck in this life for a limited time.. why not enjoy it!?

gogospice

Saying "Oh I've already ruined my good eating for the day, I'll just eat like crap", is like saying "oh I dropped my cellphone on the ground, I'll just smash it until it breaks".

I wouldn't let it bother you. Just fit it in your calories for the day. I go over sometimes and I'm still losing weight! You will do this!

whatascene

You are being way too hard on yourself. It seems with your diet and your attitude towards this journey. Losing weight is easy and it's hard at other times. Wine is fine, it's like 90 calories a glass... And a bite size snickers is nothing. I have PCOS and have been on this journey eating some hot head, chipotle, and other foods like chinese and indian food while still losing. It's a little slower than most, but I lost about 16 pounds in 2-3 months, but I didn't get tired of it and I'm still not tired of all of this. You have to let yourself cheat some and get away with a few things or you will give up because you are making it harder than it needs to be. Now, having that strict attitude is a good thing, but too much of that attitude will start weighing heavy on you like it's doing.

johnsongs1

Been there, too! I allow myself everything I want - I just don't do it very often. At least once per week, I have something I want, whether it's in my "diet" plan or not. I just count it in my calories for the day. For example, my favorite thing is a Vanilla Malt - but I limit myself to one per month. If not, I'd be eating them every day!! I was really concerned about eating at Genghis Grill yesterday because I didn't know how to count the calories. But, I ate half the bowl and saved the other half for dinner. When I got home, I looked at the calories, and ended up being below calories for the day. If I want potatoes, I eat potatoes. But I don't eat bread, potatoes, mac and cheese, pasta, etc. in the same meal or even in the same day. There is no reason you shouldn't be able to have a glass of wine every day if you count it in your calories. You might have to choose between that an ice cream on a certain day - but you should be able to have one of them I try to leave enough calories for some Purity Heavenly Hash frozen yogurt every day so that I don't feel deprived. I only get 1420 calories per day, so I have to really plan. But I don't let myself feel deprived. Most of the "healthy foods" are foods I love, anyway. I'm not picky - I could eat anything! I look at it like this. How much food do I get to eat today, and how can I plan for my favorite things in that amount of calories. I'm not saying I never go over - but I don't beat myself up over it. I just start new tomorrow. With your workouts, you should be able to get extra calories in. What I like about MFP is that once you enter the foods into your plan, all you have to do is check them off as you eat them. There's not that much counting once you get a few foods in there. I think that people give up because they feel deprived, but you should not ever feel deprived if you plan for what you want to eat. I end up eating lots of veggies so that I can have my frozen yogurt every day! Eating out is my worst problem. The serving sizes are so huge, and I'm a clean plater!!! Good luck. Don't get discouraged. Just plan for that wine - and work off that small snickers.

Gretch33

If your not having fun on the journey and it's not "easy" the probability is that you'll not stick to it. Relax! No rules or hard work outs to "pay" for your enjoyment. Maybe take a good look at the guilt items your eating and figure out why or what is it in them that brings the relax and pleasure and maybe you can find other optins to help you. And working out for you seems to be a "chore" Maybe you can take up a sport like soft ball or water skiing!

rachelbethany

It's all about letting yourself indulge . . . but learning to substitute new indulgences for the old ones. For instance, I used to LOVE Snickers. The fun size ones are the bomb. But I would pop the whole thing in my mouth, taste it, swallow it, and it's done. And then, of course, I'm craving more. That's not just because the caramel is so perfect, the nuts are so salty, or the chocolate is so chocolatey. Those things are full of preservatives, food coloring, etc. And eating those things can make you crave more junk.

Now, if you're going to indulge (which I recommend from time to time!), pick something that you're eating simply because of its real ingredients, not because of all the additives, which may really be what your body is craving. If you can stay away from super-processed foods for one week, you really do crave them less. I promise. I sometimes it even makes me sick when I start eating them again, because my body isn't used to all those toxins.

Instead of a fun-size Snickers bar, now I would probably have some Ghirardelli Sea Salt Soiree dark chocolate. It's a 100g bar, but I only eat a little square or less each time I eat some it (and a serving is three squares). The chocolate taste is so intense that I don't need more than that. And one square of this is way better for you than one fun-size Snickers. And since it's dark chocolate, there are some benefits, like anti-oxidants and increase of dopamine in the brain! It has some almond pieces in it instead of the peanuts in a Snickers, and some added sea salt that somehow gives the chocolate a fruity taste.

So, what I'm saying is, don't get mad at yourself for indulging every now and then. Have a much smaller glass of wine-- just enough for a taste, and sip it slowly with a piece of dark chocolate. It will feel so decadent and yet you'll be saving calories if you cut out Snickers bars and things. Plus, your body will like you much better for not stuffing it with toxins. You'll have more energy, and maybe you won't feel so jaded about your new lifestyle. You can't limit yourself from EVERYTHING you love. Just try to love new things!

LorinaLynn

Like Snickers? Find healthy alternatives. Snicker's makes protein bars... they taste like candy, but pack between 10-20g of protein. Can't feel guilt when you're getting nutrition.

http://www.marathonbars.com/products.php

Ronni140

You are being WAY too hard on yourself, sweetie! One thing that helps me is instead of saying "I have to...", I say, "I get to..." So instead of "I have to work out today", I say "I get to take care of myself today by working out". Or "I get to eat this delicious healthy meal today!" Eating chocolate isn't bad at all....if you know when to stop. A bite size Snickers shouldn't undo your whole day. I read a book called "Coach Yourself Thin" by Greg Hottinger. He talks about the ALL OR NOTHING attitude. I was the same way and this book helped a lot!!

Keep your head up, and don't give up! :flowerforyou:

FunandFitMom

OMG...I am so with you! When I was a bit younger, I was an elite athlete (in a time where no one really watched the kinds of food we ate). I learned to eat things that gave me quick energy and have dealt my entire adult life with the repercussions of having poor eating habits. Now that I have a more sedentary job, I have to work outo just to maintain a weight that makes me want to pull my hair out.

I have gone down the whole weight watchers path - everything in moderation - to no avail. My husband, who is typically very supportive, is not a believer in moderation - more about elimination. I'm like you - tell me and can't have it, and I'm OK for a little while, but come back to comfort food for just that - comfort. I work out - train for half marathons with the occasional strength session.

i'm willing to do some work, but not to the point that my eating choices dominate my life. Life is too short - I struggle with the balance of living life fully and wanting to do the right things so life is a little longer also.

A little at a time and make sure you give yourself LITTLE indulgences - requires a bit of stick-to-it-iveness - but doesn't feel as much like deprivation. So you only see a 1.5 lb drop that week - it's less of you than the week before!!!

MyOwnSunshine

I think there is a middle ground that is hard to find and maintain.

On one hand, if you're constantly eating comfort foods, sweets and wine (I struggle with sweets myself), you ARE erasing some of the progress and work that you're doing at the gym. I'm all about moderation, but it does come down to calories in/calories out, and if someone is drinking 2 glasses of wine a night, they are essentially erasing their gym workout, or eradicating their calorie deficit. There is also the issue that sweets, refined carbs and alcohol are empty calories, and your body needs as much nutrition as possible when you are at a calorie deficit.

On the other hand, if you're too strict with yourself, you are going to be miserable every day and feel deprived. Eventually that alone will make you binge or quit.

For me, what works is setting some rules for "treating" myself. If I'm under my calorie limit for the day, I allow myself to have a serving of Dove dark chocolate. But, the treat has to come at the end of the day and is only allowed if I've done what I needed to do. If I've had a different sweet during the evening, I don't do the Dove chocolate. I also allow myself one "treat" meal and sweet treat on the weekends, and generally up my calories on the weekend as well. I

This plan has helped me to maintain an acceptable weight for a few months. I'd really like to lose 5 more pounds, so I'm going to cut the sweets out and keep everything else the same for a month and see how it goes. I'm very close to my goal, so my motivation is not as strong as it was when I was starting out. It is very easy for calories and unhealthy food to "creep" back in to my daily eating a little at a time, and as a compulsive eater, I really have to remain vigilant about it.

Maybe you need to factor a few sweets into your plan. You also could work on getting rid of the "all or nothing" thinking. No one is perfect at all times, so it is important to have a "good enough" standard instead of a "perfect" standard. Many people who are disordered eaters (either compulsively undereaters or compulsively overeaters) suffer from a perfectionist mindset and aren't able to find moderation. That is something that I work on all the time. In the end, all you can do is plan, try to stick to your plan, make adjustments and forgive yourself if you aren't perfect. It's a process and not an event.

lilacsun

Eh eat the mini Snickers bar then get your workout on:) Denying your self a little could lead to a binge. Just eat it slowly and really taste it.
But yeah I do understand where you are coming from. I'm diabetic and there are a lot of rules for my diet. Once in a while I eat a spoonful of mashed potatoes (considered very bad for me). But if I never had a taste, I could never live on that diet thinking I could never have something again.

lilacsun

I think there is a middle ground that is hard to find and maintain.

On one hand, if you're constantly eating comfort foods, sweets and wine (I struggle with sweets myself), you ARE erasing some of the progress and work that you're doing at the gym. I'm all about moderation, but it does come down to calories in/calories out, and if someone is drinking 2 glasses of wine a night, they are essentially erasing their gym workout, or eradicating their calorie deficit. There is also the issue that sweets, refined carbs and alcohol are empty calories, and your body needs as much nutrition as possible when you are at a calorie deficit.

On the other hand, if you're too strict with yourself, you are going to be miserable every day and feel deprived. Eventually that alone will make you binge or quit.

For me, what works is setting some rules for "treating" myself. If I'm under my calorie limit for the day, I allow myself to have a serving of Dove dark chocolate. But, the treat has to come at the end of the day and is only allowed if I've done what I needed to do. If I've had a different sweet during the evening, I don't do the Dove chocolate. I also allow myself one "treat" meal and sweet treat on the weekends, and generally up my calories on the weekend as well. I

This plan has helped me to maintain an acceptable weight for a few months. I'd really like to lose 5 more pounds, so I'm going to cut the sweets out and keep everything else the same for a month and see how it goes. I'm very close to my goal, so my motivation is not as strong as it was when I was starting out. It is very easy for calories and unhealthy food to "creep" back in to my daily eating a little at a time, and as a compulsive eater, I really have to remain vigilant about it.

Maybe you need to factor a few sweets into your plan. You also could work on getting rid of the "all or nothing" thinking. No one is perfect at all times, so it is important to have a "good enough" standard instead of a "perfect" standard. Many people who are disordered eaters (either compulsively undereaters or compulsively overeaters) suffer from a perfectionist mindset and aren't able to find moderation. That is something that I work on all the time. In the end, all you can do is plan, try to stick to your plan, make adjustments and forgive yourself if you aren't perfect. It's a process and not an event.

Well said!

astrampe

I totally agree. I have a very busy life with 3 small children, work part-time with a long commute and a needy DH. I really want to lose 15 lbs. and start exercising regularly. But by the end of the day, I'm exhausted, look forward to a few glasses of wine and don't have the energy to put in an exercise DVD or get on the bike for 30 minutes. I want to look and feel good, but hate that this is yet another thing I have to do in my day. I just wish it wasn't so hard, but at 41 it is hard. I'm going to try and focus on Monday through Friday and not worry about the weekends.

Sorry if it sounds harsh, but life is hard...Deal with it....Everybody have commutes/kids/spouses/jobs/parents/school etc....It could have been worse - you could have some serious disease, have seriously sick kids/parents whatever life throws at people...
If you want it enough, you will make it work - and from personal experience, I can promise you that that glass of wine will taste even better (without any guilt) if you have it after the 30D shred.... And btw, getting rid of the eight at 41 is proabaly easier than getting rid of it at 45 or 51....