I'm so FLIPPIN' tired of this!!!
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Sounds like you're going from one extreme to the other -- and that you need some more balance. It's not about cutting out food groups and not eating this or that it's just about having some balance. Allow yourself that glass of wine or that bite-sized snickers bar -- just don't go overboard and ONLY eat junk. Eat lean meats, veggies, fruits, etc. and allow yourself that one small treat a day. Don't beat yourself up about it though.0
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I don't understand why you feel you need so many rules. Fit your wine and snickers bar in every day. I would go nuts if I tried to eat by some of the "rules" these people have.
You are my twin !i say the same thing!0 -
Hi there, just remember that life is too short and you need to enjoy yourself. Live by the 80/20 rule - 80% of the time you are good and 20% is for the little extra's that you enjoy and then you don't feel like you are missing out! The rule of the game is to know when to stop and then you will be fine. A glass of wine in the evening is not going to add the pounds, but a bottle of wine is, so enjoy the glass and make it count! Keep on going - don't give up!0
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You are being way too hard on yourself. It seems with your diet and your attitude towards this journey. Losing weight is easy and it's hard at other times. Wine is fine, it's like 90 calories a glass... And a bite size snickers is nothing. I have PCOS and have been on this journey eating some hot head, chipotle, and other foods like chinese and indian food while still losing. It's a little slower than most, but I lost about 16 pounds in 2-3 months, but I didn't get tired of it and I'm still not tired of all of this. You have to let yourself cheat some and get away with a few things or you will give up because you are making it harder than it needs to be. Now, having that strict attitude is a good thing, but too much of that attitude will start weighing heavy on you like it's doing.
AMEN! This is exactly how I feel as well. I notice some people on here that are very strict on themselves. While that may work for them, it will NOT work for me. Have to remember everyone is an individual, and their body is different from the next person. Find what works for YOU personally. Out of EVERY piece of advice I have gotten/read on here that is the best one....do what works for YOU personally.
I eat 1900 a day, gym 3 times per week.
I am loosing weight and feeling much better. Yes, it may be a little slower then some people on here, but it works for me and I am happy with it. Sure I would like to loose a little faster, but certainly NOT at the risk of denying myself anything. I refuse to do that. I eat what I want. Its about portion controll, and adding healthy options to my diet. I ate McDonalds this week....also ate chocolate icecream bar too! But I also have eaten more veggies and fresh foods too!
DONT be so hard on yourself. In my personal experience, the harder/stricter I was with myself, the quicker I got tired of it and just 'over indulged' and pigged out because I was sooooo tired of restricting myself. Find what works for you, and dont deny yourself!0 -
All I have to say is.....arg haha it is tough because we are humans and it is human nature but motivation and support is key to succeeding0
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You're the only one making the rules. So of course you're going to get annoyed after awhile if the rules are "too strict"-- but hey! You made them up!
You can change your rules.
The problem with an indulgance or a treat is that it can be easy to give yourself one every day... and you know what... I wouldn't call that a treat, not really. On the other hand, if you're just calling it dessert, just have a little every day and ENJOY IT for goodness sake
Or there's always the idea of a cheat meal. Once a week, maybe on your hardest workout day, have exactly what you want for ONE MEAL and make sure it's followed by two glasses of wine and a big slice of chocolate cake. You might even get to the point where you want less and less and maybe can even quit needing a cheat day. But it doesn't sound like you're interested in that right now. So do what you have to do.
Perhaps once you reach your fitness goals, if quitting booze is in your future, think about it then. Not everyone has the personality to be able to just quit everything all at once. I've quit coffee, but not sweets, and you can pry my Guinness from my cold dead hands :laugh: But I go through periods where I have to abstain from alcohol, too.0 -
You guys are all AMAZING!!!! Thank you all for commenting and helping me through. You all actually made me feel 10,000 times better!!!!!! I need to work on moderation. Now where's that Snickers bar??!!!! And I'm still going to Crossfit! XOXO's to you guys!!!! THANK YOU!!!0
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The timeliness of this post is amazing. I ate an entire bad of Pretzel M&Ms yesterday and found myself feeling much the same way (granted eating the whole bag was NOT a great idea). To me, the whole exercise in eating was less about eating the entire bag, but that overwhelming feeling of not having choices anymore.
I have indicated all along that this is a journey, a lifestyle change, but I am a little burned out right now of the counting -- preparing foods in advance so I can eat healthy at work and making sure I've packed foods for when I'm out and about. My post yesterday was I think I want to do maintenance for awhile and keep up the exercise piece that I've worked hard to get to.
I'm torn. I have more weight I want to lose, so what's the best way to go about this? Keep eating the same and counting every calorie or exercise more and worry less about tracking every calorie?
For me, I haven't settled on what path I'm most apt to follow. I do know one thing -- the support I have from this forum is what's kept me going on more than one occasion, so I won't give this up. Until I figure out how to march into the next chapter of this journey, I'll keep plugging along.
If you'd like some support, feel free to friend me. I'm game to provide support and maybe we can bounce ideas off of each other.0 -
Glad you're feeling better. Save the thread and give it a visit next time you're down
Have a great day and enjoy crossfit0 -
Saying "Oh I've already ruined my good eating for the day, I'll just eat like crap", is like saying "oh I dropped my cellphone on the ground, I'll just smash it until it breaks".
I wouldn't let it bother you. Just fit it in your calories for the day. I go over sometimes and I'm still losing weight! You will do this!
^^^^ This! Seriously, this is training for a lifetime of healthier living, not for the short-term results. If you would like wine in your lifetime life style, have it -- in moderation -- and plan for it in your calories/exercise. Then.... ENJOY that glass with NO regrets!!!0 -
There is only one thing that I have found that I can't eat at least once a week, because it's like what I would expect crack to be like, and that's potatoes. I start eating potatoes, and I'll eat 500 calories a day of them every single day. Those I'm limiting myself to eating on the 1st day of every month, but I'm making it a celebration and a meal in and of itself. In August, it was a large order of fries, in September I'll be in Virginia so it will be a mess of Waffle House hashed browns. For October, probably roasted.
Everything else that sends me off the deep end (for me, things with a high glycemic index) I try and schedule for one day on the weekend, either Saturday or Sunday. I cut my daily intake for the other 6 days a week by an extra 5% to make up for it.
I find that if if I put it on a list and plan to eat it, it helps me not eat it right away. I'm certainly not perfect but I'm probably succeeding 70% of the time. (Yesterday, I had a Chips Ahoy cookie before I went to bed, but I was way short on carbs for the day so I gave in.)0 -
The timeliness of this post is amazing. I ate an entire bad of Pretzel M&Ms yesterday and found myself feeling much the same way (granted eating the whole bag was NOT a great idea). To me, the whole exercise in eating was less about eating the entire bag, but that overwhelming feeling of not having choices anymore.
I have indicated all along that this is a journey, a lifestyle change, but I am a little burned out right now of the counting -- preparing foods in advance so I can eat healthy at work and making sure I've packed foods for when I'm out and about. My post yesterday was I think I want to do maintenance for awhile and keep up the exercise piece that I've worked hard to get to.
I'm torn. I have more weight I want to lose, so what's the best way to go about this? Keep eating the same and counting every calorie or exercise more and worry less about tracking every calorie?
For me, I haven't settled on what path I'm most apt to follow. I do know one thing -- the support I have from this forum is what's kept me going on more than one occasion, so I won't give this up. Until I figure out how to march into the next chapter of this journey, I'll keep plugging along.
If you'd like some support, feel free to friend me. I'm game to provide support and maybe we can bounce ideas off of each other.
You're doing so amazing!!!! Congratulations on your weightloss so far!!!!!!0 -
OMG...I am so with you! When I was a bit younger, I was an elite athlete (in a time where no one really watched the kinds of food we ate). I learned to eat things that gave me quick energy and have dealt my entire adult life with the repercussions of having poor eating habits. Now that I have a more sedentary job, I have to work outo just to maintain a weight that makes me want to pull my hair out.
I have gone down the whole weight watchers path - everything in moderation - to no avail. My husband, who is typically very supportive, is not a believer in moderation - more about elimination. I'm like you - tell me and can't have it, and I'm OK for a little while, but come back to comfort food for just that - comfort. I work out - train for half marathons with the occasional strength session.
i'm willing to do some work, but not to the point that my eating choices dominate my life. Life is too short - I struggle with the balance of living life fully and wanting to do the right things so life is a little longer also.
A little at a time and make sure you give yourself LITTLE indulgences - requires a bit of stick-to-it-iveness - but doesn't feel as much like deprivation. So you only see a 1.5 lb drop that week - it's less of you than the week before!!!
SOOOO true!!! I have to hang in there. And, awesome job on your weightloss!!!0 -
You guys are all AMAZING!!!! Thank you all for commenting and helping me through. You all actually made me feel 10,000 times better!!!!!! I need to work on moderation. Now where's that Snickers bar??!!!! And I'm still going to Crossfit! XOXO's to you guys!!!! THANK YOU!!!
But the number 1 thing I always tell myself... do not allow it to make you feel bad or guilty. That can only lead to other negative things and is not healthy in the long run. NEVER LET FOOD MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY! Heck, I am going out this week with a friend and will most likely have a burger, fries, and beer and I won't feel an ounce of guilt about it. Why? Because I want to have those moments... and the place we are going has an AWESOME burger lol!0 -
I totally understand your frustrations! I do the exact same thing. I will have a solid month of being awesome... eating right, working out every day... and then I blow it. Life ends up getting in the way and I'm not able to make the gym for two days and then I fall off the wagon. But.. I've figured out that that's okay! Most of us have normal lives where we have to go to work or school every day.. have kids to take care of.. we don't get paid to workout and look like super models!
Anyway.. I love my wine as much as you do, so I make sure to fit it in. I don't drink it every night, but after a really long day, I'm certainly not going to deprive myself of it!
I think it's important to balance the good with the bad. I think I've posted this before, but I saw a post from Jillian Michaels once that I always follow. It's the 80/20 rule. Make sure that 80% of your calories come from food with nutritional value that will supply your body with what it needs.. fruits, veggies, proteins, etc. The other 20% can be other things.. your wine, the Snicker's bar that you're craving... any of it! I've been living by this and have been losing a steady 1-2 lbs per week. Plus, it makes me way less likely to have a full-on cheat day and stuff my face with everything I want.
Wow, that's great!!! I love that philosophy!!!0 -
I Know exactly how you feel i love some white wine!! Im not drinking any for a month and it is hard but i can do it! You can too! But when i do drink it next month i ll make sure i have enough calories for it! Gl0
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I don't understand why you feel you need so many rules. Fit your wine and snickers bar in every day. I would go nuts if I tried to eat by some of the "rules" these people have.
This.
Are you NEVER going to have wine, cheese, or any of those foods again? No? So, why are you cutting them out now instead of trying to figure out how to have them within a healthy lifestyle?
exactly, this is real life. I need to enjoy my drink or two on the weekend and if that means a lighter lunch or a bit more exercise, at least I'm enjoying myself while I get healthier.0 -
I don't understand why you feel you need so many rules. Fit your wine and snickers bar in every day. I would go nuts if I tried to eat by some of the "rules" these people have.
this.0 -
Tired of all the flippin' limitations! I don't want to count calories or feel like I can't eat this or know that if I drink another glass of wine it's messing up what I've been working at.
My rule is, "If it fits, eat it." I eat pie, cake, fudge, pizza, candy, fried chicken. I don't drink wine only because I don't care to. But I eat pretty much anything I want if I can fit it. That's why I plan my meals so I CAN fit things I want into my day. Don't deprive yourself...just dont go overboard.0 -
I hear ya. I get tired of rules so I've allowed myself to have treats, I just have to MAKE myself use moderation. Sometimes, my moderation is too much. I have to deal with those choices and move on. I'm taking very slow weight loss over a restricted diet because in the long run, I won't be restricting my foods forever.0
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WE HAVE TO GIVE UP WINE?!?
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Saying "Oh I've already ruined my good eating for the day, I'll just eat like crap", is like saying "oh I dropped my cellphone on the ground, I'll just smash it until it breaks".
I wouldn't let it bother you. Just fit it in your calories for the day. I go over sometimes and I'm still losing weight! You will do this!
I really like this quote. I need to remember this
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WE HAVE TO GIVE UP WINE?!?
Yes, It has CARBZ. But as long as you don't drink it after 5:00 PM it won't ALL turn to fat.0 -
look at it like this: a glass of wine is what about 100 calories? if you go over your calorie goal by 100 calories EVERYDAY, but the end of the week, you've added 700 calories. it takes 3500 calories in a pound. so you're still in a negative 2800 for the week.
do the math. the extra here and there aren't going to hurt you. it may slow down your progress, but that may motivate you to burn the extra 700 calories a week.
personally, if i get to dinner, and we EAT dinner, steak and potatoes round here, and i've used all my calories for the day, or i'm over, i MAKE myself get back on the elliptical. even if its 30 minutes at half speed.
i love sweets and goodies, and i refuse to live without them. this is a lifestyle change. i can't live without the things i love.... and nobody should have to. you have to find a balance. sometimes it does suck. especially on the weeks i work really hard and don't see much loss on the scale.
you have to love yourself more than you love food.0 -
the hooch is a bugaboo. a bad habit.. listen.. what I do is tell myself not to drink during the week..only on Friday and Saturday..will I have a cocktail and glass of wine. It is part of my life and I enjoy it. I have found that I lose if I stick to that. But drinking everyday dominates your liver and you can't shed the fat..that is just a fact.
I find once I break the trend..I can easily not drink. I replace my wine ritual with herbal teas...and I enjoy them too. Just break the cycle..it will be hard the first night or two..then it is easy.0 -
i sometimes feel the same way and i could be why i never seem to "stay on track" on the weekends. i like my wine i like eating comfort foods i'm not a big junk food person (haven't had mcds or bk or any of those places since i started this and i don't miss them). i miss comfort food, real food and i'll never give up my wine (i don't mean this in a i have a problem way either). why not eat the candy - look at it this way. you COULD eat a super sized candy bar OR you could get your fix from a mini and move on. be done with it. i've found if i restrict myself too much i end up eating TOO MUCH like the entire bag of minis instead of just one. i wait SO LONG to enjoy it that by the time i get around to enjoying it i want the damn candy bar so badly i can't stop at one. now THAT ruins a workout. one mini won't destroy everything you've accomplished in a day. if you're only reason for working out is to loose weight then you're not going to do it. find something you enjoy doing then it won't feel like you're working out just to loose weight. maybe change up your routine, throw yourself a curve ball. heck join a baseball team. curve ball made me think of that one.
i've learned to not be so hard on myself. if i restrict myself where i'm stressing over everything i eat then i KNOW I'LL FAIL! like i said weekends for me are the hardest but i make sure i have a good healthy breakfast and i make sure to have a good healthy snack. if i know i'm going to indulge in wine and cheese and burgers and pizza okay not all at the same time - i make SURE i go for a run because it gives me the added calories so i can indulge. i would rather go for the run and have the extra calories so i can indulge then go over. yes i am exercising for the sake of over indulging but it's better than NOT exercising AND over indulging.
At some point you are going to have to decide what's more important to you - your sanity or you weight.Venting: I feel so frustrated!!!! Why can't I just put down the crap food and wine??? It's not fast food or going out that is the problem. It's my stupid "comfort" foods at home. Getting off of work and enjoying some wine feels great…though it doesn't feel nearly as great as the feeling I have after I workout. And I know that! Yet, after a week or 2 of working out, counting calories, not eating this or not eating that, I get tired. Tired of all the flippin' limitations! I don't want to count calories or feel like I can't eat this or know that if I drink another glass of wine it's messing up what I've been working at. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't starve myself when I'm watching calories. I love lifting weights, so I take in about 1500-1600 calories a day WHEN I do what I am suppose to do. I don't drink alcohol WHEN I'm on my nutrition kick. But, it's the "don't eat that", "don't drink that", "I know you're tired, but you have to go workout", rules rules rules!! Just writing them makes me feel overwhelmed. It's not hard to lose weight, it comes off when I cut out the bad stuff (cheese…gee whiz. I do love cheese) and workout 4-5 days a week. On average, I lose 2 lbs a week when I do what is needed. But, by week 3 and week 4, I'm so tired of all the "don't do's", I stop. I'm tired you guys. Tired of failing. Tired of counting. Tired of looking at this journey as "all in or nothing." For instance, right now, I could actually go for a little Snickers bite size candy. But, I feel if I eat that, it's just ruining everything! Why eat candy if I'm going to Crossfit to workout today after work??? Knowing I ate junk makes me not want to go workout because I feel like I've already ruined it and it won't matter (I haven't eaten bad today, this is just an example on the days when I do eat something bad.) Any comments or suggestions would be so helpful you guys. I want to succeed this time!0 -
Venting: I feel so frustrated!!!! Why can't I just put down the crap food and wine??? It's not fast food or going out that is the problem. It's my stupid "comfort" foods at home. Getting off of work and enjoying some wine feels great…though it doesn't feel nearly as great as the feeling I have after I workout. And I know that! Yet, after a week or 2 of working out, counting calories, not eating this or not eating that, I get tired. Tired of all the flippin' limitations! I don't want to count calories or feel like I can't eat this or know that if I drink another glass of wine it's messing up what I've been working at. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't starve myself when I'm watching calories. I love lifting weights, so I take in about 1500-1600 calories a day WHEN I do what I am suppose to do. I don't drink alcohol WHEN I'm on my nutrition kick. But, it's the "don't eat that", "don't drink that", "I know you're tired, but you have to go workout", rules rules rules!! Just writing them makes me feel overwhelmed. It's not hard to lose weight, it comes off when I cut out the bad stuff (cheese…gee whiz. I do love cheese) and workout 4-5 days a week. On average, I lose 2 lbs a week when I do what is needed. But, by week 3 and week 4, I'm so tired of all the "don't do's", I stop. I'm tired you guys. Tired of failing. Tired of counting. Tired of looking at this journey as "all in or nothing." For instance, right now, I could actually go for a little Snickers bite size candy. But, I feel if I eat that, it's just ruining everything! Why eat candy if I'm going to Crossfit to workout today after work??? Knowing I ate junk makes me not want to go workout because I feel like I've already ruined it and it won't matter (I haven't eaten bad today, this is just an example on the days when I do eat something bad.) Any comments or suggestions would be so helpful you guys. I want to succeed this time!
you need to RELAX! Take a deep breath, and think about WHY you are doing this. Personally, I want to get back to where I am comfortable in my own skin, and I don't have to go up a size 'cause of my belly pooch. This is a life change, not a temporary fix for me. The thought of NEVER having ice cream or cake, or fast food again makes me twitchy. I cut my carbs down to ~100g net per day, and that allows me to still have *normal* foods. Personally, IMO, I don't think you are eating enough. If you are doing crossfit, you are burning some SERIOUS calories, so you can probably eat at least 2000 calories and still lose.0 -
I hear ya sister. I have been dealing with this issue for 25 years...get all motivated, go on a diet, deprive myself, lose weight, get bored with my limited food selection or life just happens (lose my job, move, etc) and before I know it, I'm back to eating the way I was before the diet and not only gain the weight back but more! It's a vicious cycle! I have finally found something that is working for me - I eat whatever i want on Sunday and follow my eating plan and stay under my calorie limit the other 6 days of the week. Now, I'm not saying that once in awhile I don't eat something "i'm not supposed to" during those 6 days but mostly, I don't because I know on Sundays I can eat it all day if I want to. Now I know this sounds scary but I've been doing this for 6 weeks and I've lost 8 pounds. Maybe I would have lost more weight if I didn't have my free day but it's what's keeping me going so it doesn't matter much to me if I would have lost 12 pounds as opposed to 8. I'm in this for the long haul - I'm not trying to lose more than a pound a week. In a year, I'll weight 52 pounds less than I do now instead of weighing 10 pounds more because I couldn't stick with it. I feel like I can do this for a lifetime because I don't feel deprived. When I first started this plan, I started planning on Wednesday for what I would eat on Sunday...I was counting the days till Sunday. Now, I just think about it once in awhile but I don't live for Sundays anymore. In fact, while I do enjoy my free day, I also look forward to getting back to eating healthy because I feel better when I do.
One of my main goals this time around is that I want this to be a lifestyle, not just a diet - it's got to be something I can live with for the rest of my life. I can't live without certain foods for the rest of my life but I can live without them for 6 days at a time. So find a way that you can follow your diet plan so you lose weight but also give yourself permission to enjoy your special foods. If you keep track of your calories on this site, you could have them every day as long as you stay within your calorie limit. Ask yourself, how can I make this work for a lifetime?
I admire your courage to be so vulnerable and honest! You will find a way that works for you because you're wanting to find it. Ask and you shall receive. Keep us updated on how you do.0 -
Awww, I know how you feel!!
I've been down this road a time or two, have lost significant weight through being excessively strict and then gained it all back plus some. Often I have a mini-meltdown at about 4 pm at my desk at work when I look at what I've got 'left' for the day, my stomach is growling, and I want to cry because I feel like I don't have enough calories left to have a decent and satisfying dinner, and the temptation is SO there to just chuck the whole thing. This is my third week logging on MFP and the most detailed food diary I've ever kept. I've exceeded my allotted calories several times by 70-200 cals but my clothes are fitting better anyway. After all, MFP is building in a deficit for me and I haven't once eaten back that deficit unless I got some serious exercise.
There's a lot of great advice in this thread. It really is all about finding the diet you can eat forever and the right activity level where your weight can get to the proper level.
I have a serious sweet tooth and that is usually my undoing if I go over; still learning how to tweak my meals and work with myself and what I enjoy so that I can have my cake and eat it too :laugh:0 -
Dont deprive yourself or you wont enjoy what you are doing. It's ok to have a small treat....remember everything in moderation. A glass of wine wont hurt nothing...heck red wine actually has many health benefits.
I am now down to a size 4 from a 10, but guess what...I still have a glass of red wine every now and then, fried chicken here and there (but now instead of a 6 wings, I get 1 or 2), instead of the whole cake, I now will buy a slice of my most favorate red velvet cake every so often, etc. Because I know that I now eat 80-85% healthy as opposed to the way it was before when it was 80-85% unhealthy.
You will benge and fall of the wagon if you don't endulge sometimes. But just make compromises. Instead of that whole snickers a bite sized one or some healthy dark chocolate. Have 1 glass of wine. You get it. But don't give up because this is a lifestyle and you gotta live this journey for the rest of your life. Set realistic expectations for yourself.0
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