Destined to be Fat Forever? (Ranty)

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  • iammegs
    iammegs Posts: 39 Member
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    It sounds like the biggest problem is you've been pigeonholed into one diet or another. After acknowledging that what I needed was weekly accountability and someone actually holding me accountable to lose weight, I joined Jenny Craig - and I still get crap for that, even though it's working for me!! I'm an emotional eater and a social eater - I've had days when I've come home from work after the crappiest day at the end of the crappiest week, and lost all control. So yes, I know how you feel.

    Since you and your husband seem to be in this together, I suggest you try the Cheat to Lose diet - which worked for me when I had the support of my college roommates. The idea is you trick your body so it doesn't think you're dieting: When your body knows it's dieting, it gets sadder and snappier. The diet essentially works like this: 1 cheat day (eat what you want but not til it hurts!), 2 low carb days, 2 low-GI food days, 2 high-GI but low-fat days. The main benefit of this? You have a day to look forward to and a maintenance plan that still involves cheating. Look it up!

    I'm not as "programmed" as you I suppose because I used to be scrawny before 4th grade - my rewards system got screwed up because the doctor told my mom I needed to eat more, and his strategies worked too well - but I think that you need an outlet for all your cravings and emotions. You need something to look forward to and right now weight loss on its own is too far away.
  • freew67
    freew67 Posts: 348 Member
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    Once your done making excuses, then you might be able to change. Im down 110 lbs in 53 weeks without setting 1 foot in a gym, no pills, and or any other aid but me. I have ate fast food almost every week (my diary is open) and continue to drink diet drinks. This isnt a diet to me anymore, its a lifestyle change. Once you accept this new lifestyle, it does get easier. If you battle every single change because its not easy, you will always lose. There is no "hope it gets better." YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT BETTER. Thing is, I was happy being overweight. I had 0 issues with it but I was flirting with so many health issues (family history). I decided I was going to reverse those odds back in my favor. I have 2 little boys that Im sure will want their daddy around for a long time.

    Have I failed along the way? Of course, who hasnt. The question is, will you get back up and keep fighting?

    http://freew67.blogspot.com/
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    If you two want to continue to use food as entertainment, go right ahead. No one is going to stop you. Unfortunately, that's all the entertainment many people can afford in their daily lives.

    If you decide using food as entertainment is no longer working for you and you have the disposable income, find a better hobby.

    It's entirely up to you.

    As for the physical cravings, I still get them from time to time, but far less often when I stay in Ketosis. Which is why going very low carb seems to have been the right choice for me. Not saying it will work for everyone.
  • mona_patty
    mona_patty Posts: 170
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    also you need to change the way you think. Believe you can do this. You are not destined to be fat. Stop saying such things. You are destined to whatever you put your heart to. You can do this girl!!

    i had to delete a user cause I couldn't bear to see "fatgirl" everyday. It was causing such a negativity to me. So surround yourself with supportive people. And start your challenge. Good luck. Stay positive.
  • zCarsAndCaloriesz
    zCarsAndCaloriesz Posts: 348
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    Seems to me like food is entertainment for you and your husband, try and work toward changing that.
    Maybe go biking or something, and pack a small lunch of salad and things of that nature. I started doing things like this with my boyfriend, and you'd be surprised how much fun it is, especially if you live near parks and forests.
  • bethygirlie
    bethygirlie Posts: 311 Member
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    I totally felt the way you did. I actually had huge resentment for my cousins, who are stick thin (blessed with a high metabolism) and can totally eat whatever they want and not gain weight. I lived the life "who cares, I'm fat and happy" but it landed me in the hospital in a coma at 400 pounds with a blood sugar of 1100. I realized, there are a TON of foods out there that are amazing and tasty and spices that make them all come together and ya know what? I love my life now and I even splurge and go out to eat every now and again, but my life and my health is so much better at 193 than it was at 405. I'm not saying you're destined to go down this road, but I'm telling you, you can still go out and live your life and eat healthy in the process. Not every healthy thing is horrible tasting and/or unsatisfying. And if you're having a craving, go for it, but you can have a small portion of something and be satisfied. It's just a matter of putting your mind in a different frame and having the dedication to push past the "who cares" metality. I am so happy with the way I am now, I wouldn't trade it for all the pizza in the world.
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
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    Geez, what's up with the food-as-entertainment hate? Plenty of fit and healthy people are food hobbyists. I love food. It is my favorite thing. I love it better than the other things. I can be healthy by staying active, maintaining my muscle mass, getting enough of the right nutrients, and by not overeating. None of those things requires me to give up food as a hobby or as my entertainment. I own a RACLETTE grill people. That is 2 hours of melted cheese goodness with friends.

    I can have food, but I can't have hours of mindless TV/Video games/Movies *and* food, so I traded those things for exercise and I kept food.
  • curtnrod
    curtnrod Posts: 223 Member
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    You can eat what you want and still be healthy and lose weight...or you can eat what you want and be unhealthy and fat...it's your choice. Many people on MFP prove both every day. Fear of failure or fear of success are both the same, F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real. I've been fat my whole life as well, I'm just not going to fear being destined for fattness anymore.

    Being fat is hard...losing weight and staying healthy is hard. Pick your hard

    P.S. I had beer and bratwurst yesterday and I didn't burn any calories kicking myself for eating them. But I did burn calories playing volleyball for the first time in 25 years due to my recent weight loss and healthier lifestyle :)
  • ErinBeth7
    ErinBeth7 Posts: 1,625 Member
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    Don't have any great advice (although, a lot of the replies are pretty solid), but I just wanted to let you know that I feel the same way quite often. I'm hoping "it gets better" as well. :flowerforyou:

    I hear ya.
  • littlewitch1973
    littlewitch1973 Posts: 139
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    Its not easy. Food thoughts, dreams, ideas... fill your every waking moment - I know. I live that life too. Its an obsession. I just finished my delicious lunch, and already, I'm wondering what time we will eat dinner... when is too soon for a snack... Ugh!! I hate my brain some days!!

    BUT - I look at my ticker below - I see 143 lbs lost. I realize I have lost more already than I need to lose (Still have 95 to lose), but I'm doing it. I have had pizza - wings, ice cream. I eat them in moderation. I dont beat myself up for it. I realize that a piece of pizza is going to cause my ankles to swell up (sodium) and bloat my stomach for a full two days, but every now and then, I need it.

    I indulge in a piece of fudge... a small slice of cake. If I didnt, I'd be a saint! I enjoy my food. I eat SLOWLY - literally, it can take me 2 hours to eat a huge salad with chicken on it!

    When the food feelings overwhelm my thoughts, I clean. I walk. I work out. listen to really loud rock music - my brain cannot think of food while seriously loud music is blasting in my ears.

    Keep the positive thinking going - its a daily mnotivation for me. I have to force myself to think healthy, or I will make bad choices.

    Good luck!!
  • ARoseinDecember
    ARoseinDecember Posts: 29
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    You cannot think of it as "going on a diet." That word sets you up to fail. If you cannot commit to transforming your way of eating all at once, make small changes, one by one. Or, commit to being "fat and happy." I was never able to feel happy with myself when I was heavier, but if you can, more power to you!
  • ccarre81
    ccarre81 Posts: 134 Member
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    Part of your profile reads: "I'm huge, my legs and joints hurt, I have bad skin, I'm physically limited in the things I want to do..."

    Your outlook of "heavy and happy/content" doesn't quite compute with the above... just saying.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    Geez, what's up with the food-as-entertainment hate? Plenty of fit and healthy people are food hobbyists. I love food. It is my favorite thing. I love it better than the other things. I can be healthy by staying active, maintaining my muscle mass, getting enough of the right nutrients, and by not overeating. None of those things requires me to give up food as a hobby or as my entertainment. I own a RACLETTE grill people. That is 2 hours of melted cheese goodness with friends.

    I can have food, but I can't have hours of mindless TV/Video games/Movies *and* food, so I traded those things for exercise and I kept food.

    It's not hate, it's just stating a fact. Personally, I'd rather keep my video games and ditch the entertaining food (and I also have no real choice this time of year about not getting much exercise), but whatever works for you is great. If I had the money for more expensive entertainment, I'd ditch the video games, too, by the way. I suspect there are some relatively wealthy overweight people out there who just aren't getting the max bang for their entertainment buck!
  • krystyleee
    krystyleee Posts: 219
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    Well you were right about having to me be "mentally ready", and maybe the reason why this hasn't worked for you is because you obviously aren't there yet. And happiness stems from much more than just appearance (being fat). There is such thing as being fat and happy because "fat" is not the only thing that controls your emotions.

    It sounds like you kind of don't even want to lose weight anymore, but in case you still do:
    You CAN have a piece or two of pizza every now and then and still lose weight. You should not feel guilty! A lot of people go through what you're going through or similar to it, but they push through it. It is not going to kill you to eat healthy, and eating healthy does not SUCK! I enjoy eating healthy and finding new healthy recipes that I like, that are flavorful and full of the things I love! You should try that. Do you like to cook? Does your hubby?

    It's also great to rant because at least you know the problem and you're here searching for help so there IS hope. Please don't give up. Keep pushing. It is not going to happen over night. Actually, it might take a long time! But you need to accept that and keep trying.
  • Carolyn_79
    Carolyn_79 Posts: 935 Member
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    You said you and hubby ate really well all week so I don't see the problem with splurging on the picnic items. It's one meal and doubtful that it'll ruin your whole week unless you go on a full out binge. Enjoy the picnic and go on a nice hike afterwards. You won't succeed long-term if you feel completely deprived.
  • RunMyOregonBunsOff
    RunMyOregonBunsOff Posts: 862 Member
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    I didn't read all of the replys so I hope that I'm not repeating things. First off, do you like to cook? My suggestion is that you start off the day with a healthy breakfast at least 5 days a week and then start every lunch and dinner with a big salad with a light dressing. Then make a small portion of something that you really like for you and your guy (or order one serving if you go out and split it). You can still cut back on calories and enjoy it. Just savor every bite of your foods that you like. Let the taste really sink in and with that after a big salad you will feel full and have a meal that you really enjoyed. Then later try to make your lunch healthier more days each week until dinner is your one meal to really really enjoy.
  • AlabasterVerve
    AlabasterVerve Posts: 3,171 Member
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    Moderation is not working for you. A lot of people gain control of their appetite and their food obsessions following a restrictive, low carb diet. I can not even begin to describe how wonderful it is to finally have a normal appetite and not constantly be planning the next meal or snack. Give it an honest effort and see how you feel:

    http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf
  • MeBeEmmDee
    MeBeEmmDee Posts: 12
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    I'm a compulsive over eater, but I've found that I can control it and loose weight as long as I am eating low carb, otherwise I just sit and dream about food all day and get really mad when I can't have what I want, or more of what I want or lament when someone has a bigger portion size than I do.

    I'd highly encourage you to look into actually giving low carb a good honest shot, don't half-*kitten* it and see what happens.

    ^^This

    I'm just like you, hubby trouble and all. On the one hand he harangues me to eat right and work out. On the other, he buys me treats all the dang time! The only fix I've found is going on the Paleolithic diet. It's taken away my cravings (for the most part) for "junk food" and when I do indulge, my body reminds me that I wasn't meant to eat that stuff...and QUICK!!

    I'm never hungry, weight is just melting off. It sounds hard, but compared to what I've attempted in the past to lose weight it is a BREEZE (I've even done the prescription HcG at 500 calories a day and only like ten things you're allowed to eat...for six months. It worked but the weight came right back on...and FAST.)

    Since food seems to be the focus of your activities together, Paleo could also be a great way for you to bond and fill the void as you discover and create recipes for amazing food together. And you do not have to go cold-turkey. Ease your way in and you will still get the benefits. It's also a way of eating that you could easily stick with for life.
  • JESSJESJ
    JESSJESJ Posts: 121 Member
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    Based on your comments, it seems as though you are going into this with a negative attitude, instead of focusing on what I can't have - pizza, picnics, etc. focus on ways you can incorporate all those things into your daily life, even if it means adding 10 mins onto a walk, so you can eat x. The picnic with foods from the local italian market sounds like a great idea, but bring a frisbee with you. enjoy the food, wine and conversation with your loved one.

    I get the frustration ... (just took two weeks off and gained back the five pounds i lost the month before.) but try & remember you aren't going to be able to keep eating "perfectly" (whatever that is) everyday, and its ok. This is one of the reasons I've been enjoying this place, more than other ways to lose weight that i've tried - this seems to be a more realistic way of losing weight, rather than eating some weird combination of foods at prescribed times.
  • predent
    predent Posts: 95
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    I feel the same way as you. My boyfriend isn't trying to lose weight, but he is an enabler.

    Friday night:
    Me: What do you want to do?
    bf: Let's go to steak and shake!
    Me: ummm. noooo...
    Cue argument.
    Saturday:
    Rinse and repeat but with McDonalds. I gave in and ate a 6 piece chicken nugget.
    Sunday:
    Rinse and repeat but with Taco Bell. I gave in and ate a side order of nachos.

    The reason I gained so much weight is because I take enjoyment in eating food. I love the tastes and the textures. I love trying new foods. I love socializing over a box of pizza. Stuffing my face with popcorn while playing video games sounds awesome! However, then the hurtful comments from others and just the feeling of self-hatred started to take over. I've been yo-yoing this journey to fitness and a healthy life style since last year. I just keep looking at my failures as a sign of weakness instead of my beginnings or my achievements as a sign of strength. I keep telling myself that I just need to get over it. Yeah okay, easier said than done right?

    Whenever I get in this rut, I think of what Jillian Michaels said in her one video for Body Revolution.
    "THESE PEOPLE WORK THEIR *kitten* OFF TO LOOK LIKE THIS AND TO HAVE THIS BODY."

    Edit: Sometimes for the lolz, I like to look at this screen cap from Texts From Dog.
    tumblr_m6090eIvmP1rt9zy5o1_500.png

    Hopefully it made you smile :)

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