"southern hospitality" myth or no?

oregonzoo
oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
in Chit-Chat
Having lived all over the country, people in or from the south are no nicer and more
Hospitable.
In fact, I prefer to know right away when somebody doesnt like me.
Rather than somebody saying "well bless her heart" as you walk away.
Nice people are nice people wherever you go.
«13456

Replies

  • LessStephMoreLove
    LessStephMoreLove Posts: 20
    My grandma is from Tennessee as are a lot of my family and they are absolutely no nicer than anyone here.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
    I agree. I've been stood up for dates more in Texas than in any other states I've lived in.
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    I'm Southern.

    & i have southern hospitality.



    but,if i dont like you,i dont like you.
    i dont say bless your heart..

    but i think that maybe southerners would be the first people to throw a punch?
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I'm sure this isn't true for all of the south, but I don't really fit in with southern girls. They're so put together all the time, and it's what they've been taught from their mothers. Never leave the house without makeup, make sure your hair is nice, ect. Which I never do and subsequently I feel judged. Which is probably all me and not them.
  • spicypepper
    spicypepper Posts: 1,016 Member
    I'm not Southern by birth, but got here as fast as I can.

    I can honestly say when I moved to Texas from Califormia in 1990, there was nothing but southern hospitality here. And then more people moved in from other states and things changed. There are still loads of friendly people in the rural areas, not so much in the city though.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    Having lived all over the country, people in or from the south are no nicer and more
    Hospitable.
    In fact, I prefer to know right away when somebody doesnt like me.
    Rather than somebody saying "well bless her heart" as you walk away.
    Nice people are nice people wherever you go.


    ...most people know that "bless her/your/his heart isn't a compliment or anything well intended.

    I have also lived in many areas, and everywhere, there are mean people and nice people. However, only the south has the best iced tea unless you can somehow pry the secret from someone!

    I even found nice people in Watts... THAT was amusing.

    **Yes, it does exist. it's just hyped up
  • Frozen300
    Frozen300 Posts: 223 Member
    it pays to be nice when everyone carries guns
  • laurie571
    laurie571 Posts: 152 Member
    I'm sure this isn't true for all of the south, but I don't really fit in with southern girls. They're so put together all the time, and it's what they've been taught from their mothers. Never leave the house without makeup, make sure your hair is nice, ect. Which I never do and subsequently I feel judged. Which is probably all me and not them.
    being a southern girl, junior league and all, i feel the stress and strain of it. probably why im trying to lose weight now ;)
  • laurie571
    laurie571 Posts: 152 Member
    it pays to be nice when everyone carries guns
    LOL this is also true
  • octoberfalling
    octoberfalling Posts: 34
    I travel all over the country for work, and have lived in Texas nearly my entire life, and as far as I can tell, the south is absolutely no friendlier than anywhere else. I can see where people who aren't southern might think they are, but I think most southerners probably know well enough that most of the friendliness isn't really genuine friendliness. It's a learned behaviour that's simply part of social interaction in the south, and doesn't really convey anyone's true feelings one way or another. Personally, I prefer people that are more direct. Southerners are a strange breed, bless their hearts. ;)
  • octoberfalling
    octoberfalling Posts: 34
    it pays to be nice when everyone carries guns

    Oh yeah, and then there's this. LOL
  • Anastasia0511
    Anastasia0511 Posts: 372 Member
    I travel for many many months out of the year and I have to say that I LOVE the people from the south and have always enjoyed them. i do think there is still that Southern Hospitality and think most southerners are very nice and kind. Georgia and Tennessee have really nice people there. I live around stuck up *kitten* in a city where a lot of people only care about the way the look and what car they're driving in. Its nice to go to cities where people are genuinely nice to everyone that crosses their path. I have never lived in the south so maybe I only see a little bit when I get off of a tour bus or talk with the hotel or venue staff. But I've never had a bad experience and have always left feeling like I was treated nice when I am in those states and several others. Do not like your sweet tea though OMG lol. I don't eat sugar and haven't for about 18 years and tried a sip and WOW haha. I think I had high blood pressure for a few minutes :)
  • TyFit08
    TyFit08 Posts: 799 Member
    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.

    Southern Hospitality is about making you feel welcome and yes I do think Southerners welcome strangers. I have seen my family in South Carolina do it, while my family in NY always looks at outsiders with a degree of skepticism. But I'm right there with them. I'm not going to act like I'm your best friend if I don't know you. Not to say that some Southerners aren't genuine, I like the what you see is what you get approach.
  • quietlywinning
    quietlywinning Posts: 889 Member
    it pays to be nice when everyone carries guns

    I love this! Very true!

    I've lived mostly in the midwest, but have spent some time in the south, both living in the south and visiting relatives MANY summers. The culture is definitely different, and there are pros and cons to each culture. Nice people are everywhere, jerks are everywhere. But I was impressed with the greater degree of neighborliness in the south, and chivalry is not dead down there. I enjoyed it. I was respected as a business person, yet treated like a lady at the same time and by the same people. I do miss that.
  • whitetiger011680
    whitetiger011680 Posts: 218 Member
    I'm sure this isn't true for all of the south, but I don't really fit in with southern girls. They're so put together all the time, and it's what they've been taught from their mothers. Never leave the house without makeup, make sure your hair is nice, ect. Which I never do and subsequently I feel judged. Which is probably all me and not them.

    This made me giggle a little bit. I've lived in AL almost my entire life and there are a few girls who won't leave the house without make up. I'm not one of them but there are a LOT who don't always get well put together before going out and the evidence is at wal-mart. :laugh:
  • jackieatx
    jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
    It totally depends where you're at. In el paso, people will walk over you if you're bleeding on a sidewalk. In the Carolinas, its honey this and darlin' that. Here is Austin, its perfect. People are friendly and helpful, but not overly. And gosh does this new jersey born, California bred girl love it.
  • ClareRae
    ClareRae Posts: 153 Member
    I'm from Texas, and I once went on a trip and was picked on for saying "yes maam/no maam"and always saying please and thank you at a resturant even for the simplest things. Growing up it was a polite gesture, and you got in serious trouble for being rude. "These people are serving your food. Be respectful." Now if I don't say it, I feel wierd.
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    it pays to be nice when everyone carries guns

    they make purses specifically for carrying guns:)

    there prettyy!!!
  • iammegs
    iammegs Posts: 38 Member
    Southern hospitality does still exist - it's the idea that you can share food with someone, have a nice conversation at a grocery store, and so on. The key is to make sure politics and religion never come up!

    I lived in Texas and Louisiana, but then attended high school in Germany. I experienced greater culture shock moving to Boston then I did moving to Germany because I _expected_ differences between countries, but nothing like what I saw up North. In fact, I've noticed two main differences: Northerners are so hesitant to converse with strangers, yet when it gets to conversation, never seem to pause. If you want to add your two cents to a conversation - at least in New England - you have to interrupt someone! I had to get out of the habit when I moved back to Texas. But when I return to Boston to visit friends, I still get a kick out of the astonished looks on cashiers' faces when I start a conversation or laugh.

    Southern hospitality doesn't necessarily mean that you're better around friends and family than people in the North. It has to do with being more diplomatic/pleasant with people you don't know very well. While it may seem too superficial for people who are used to bluntness, it's about making errands, tasks and brief acquaintances more pleasant.
  • jasondcooper
    jasondcooper Posts: 125
    I grew up in Indiana and have lived in Alabama for the last 10 years. I can say that people here are no nicer than people I've met anywhere else. In fact, if you are not from this part of the world and you move here later, it is remarkably hard to meet new people and make friends.

    The first question people ask you here is not "What do you do for a living?" It's "Where do you go to church?" Better hope that you go to church or go the "right" church. If you get that question wrong, a lot of people here won't have anything more to do with you.

    This is not to diss the south overall. As a lover of the outdoors I enjoy the long summer and the warm weather. I also think there is more culture in a lot of southern towns than people might imagine, but let's keep it real: people are people, wherever you go.
  • jillian769
    jillian769 Posts: 247 Member
    I was born in Mississippi, lived in NY most of my life, moved to Wisconsin for 7 years, and now just moved to Texas (Dallas) 2 weeks ago. I have always loved the South and loved Southern people, and find that "generally" they are more hospitable...But the truth is that there are JERKS everywhere and KIND people everywhere.:smile:
  • iammegs
    iammegs Posts: 38 Member
    I'm from Texas, and I once went on a trip and was picked on for saying "yes maam/no maam"and always saying please and thank you at a resturant even for the simplest things. Growing up it was a polite gesture, and you got in serious trouble for being rude. "These people are serving your food. Be respectful." Now if I don't say it, I feel wierd.

    ^^ This!! When I moved outside the South, I actually was treated more rudely for trying to make polite gestures such as this, by teachers, servers at restaurants and peers.
  • jackieatx
    jackieatx Posts: 578 Member
    Northerners are so hesitant to converse with strangers, yet when it gets to conversation, never seem to pause. If you want to add your two cents to a conversation - at least in New England - you have to interrupt someone!

    lol

    SO TRUE!

    I got the weirdest looks when I first moved from nj to la.. I felt like I was the only one ever talking.. and I'm shy in public!

    But la.. that is another story.. for another thread ;)
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I'm sure this isn't true for all of the south, but I don't really fit in with southern girls. They're so put together all the time, and it's what they've been taught from their mothers. Never leave the house without makeup, make sure your hair is nice, ect. Which I never do and subsequently I feel judged. Which is probably all me and not them.
    being a southern girl, junior league and all, i feel the stress and strain of it. probably why im trying to lose weight now ;)

    What is junior league? I've heard the term before but don't know what it means.
  • ilyahna
    ilyahna Posts: 96 Member
    I am from the South, born and raised, and I live in Minneapolis. I've been all over, too, including the east and west coasts.

    I think 'southern hospitality' as an idea or generalization is truly something left over from a time period that ended with the Civil War and the downfall of southern 'aristocracy.' Whenever I hear 'southern hospitality' described, it reminds me mostly of genteelism: sunny politeness, kind words, open doors, charitable values. I believe the places one is also more likely to find it are in small agrarian towns where children are moving in and out less often, and folks are raised the way their great-grandparents were raised.

    I would say that *I* definitely *do* see a difference in attitudes here, but that could be because I grew up in a place like I just described in such a family atmosphere. In the north, I have noticed people are much less likely to open a door for you or hold one open, say thank you for courtesies, while they speak rudely and bluntly to strangers (including service persons), and have a much greater tendency toward passive aggressiveness. I remember actually being quite startled by it when I moved.
  • laurie571
    laurie571 Posts: 152 Member
    I'm sure this isn't true for all of the south, but I don't really fit in with southern girls. They're so put together all the time, and it's what they've been taught from their mothers. Never leave the house without makeup, make sure your hair is nice, ect. Which I never do and subsequently I feel judged. Which is probably all me and not them.
    being a southern girl, junior league and all, i feel the stress and strain of it. probably why im trying to lose weight now ;)

    What is junior league? I've heard the term before but don't know what it means.
    a womans organization. you have to apply, be sponsored by at least 3 acting members only one being related to you, pay the fees etc.... the league itself hold different charities and volunteers around the area. very much like a sorority for after college
  • Kalola11
    Kalola11 Posts: 25 Member
    Agree. Texas is really just...Texas. We definitely don't fit "the South."
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
    I agree. I've been stood up for dates more in Texas than in any other states I've lived in.
    interesting. I've noticed the opposite actually but I don't live in Texas. Every person I've ever met from Texas tho has been one of the most hospitable people. Maybe its because I don't live there.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
    Why do people insist on calling Texas the South, Southwest yes, Down South no.


    Why do I "insist" on calling it the south? Because I'm from New Jersey, so to me it's the south. Why wouldn't it be? It's further south than South Carolina.
  • Nana_Anne
    Nana_Anne Posts: 179 Member
    I don't know if you can call this southern or maybe it's mid-west hospitality, then again this reminds me of growing up in Florida. I just came back again from Oklahoma. I was going to the post office with a hand full of boxes. An eight year old boy opens the door for me and when I say "thank you" I heard "your welcome". At walmart people don't leave items they don't want all over the store and you see carts being taken to the right places. Groceries are still carried out to the car too. When my Aunt's house was hit with lightening on Easter the fire department shows up, then all thier wifes with donuts and coffee, next comes the pastor and some church women. People called to ask what they could do. Maybe that's just small town living in the mid-west.When I leave the airport is the best! The stewardess and ride out of Oklahoma City is the best of any I have been in. I loved my last flight. We were all treated like first class. I started noticing more and more how little please, thank you and your welcome are used today. Those simple words go along ways. And the last thing to say is Thank you for reading :smile:

Categories