Haters/sabotage

AimeeBaumgartner

Do you have people who always say negative stuff? Like you are gonna fall of the bandwagon. Also they try to sabotage my diet by giving me chocolate. I give it back! I refuse to be fat forever!

turbodog14

I have had some of the naysays... screw 'em, I say.

What I have found to be more sabotage-y is when I hear comments like "omg, you are too skinny" or "you are wasting away". Those comments, even though they are meant as compliments, feel negative and don't help push me along. Its hard work making this transformation.

I typically respond with "uhh.. I'm finally not in the obese category and have another 30 lbs until I'm at a healthy weight". That shuts them up

saraann4

Yeah, but I don't let it bother me. Plus, I've proved a lot of them wrong so far.

jadesign19

Yes. Unfortunately, I'm 43 and since birth I've had haters in my life. Sabateurs that would make James Bond say WTF,
Rather than bore you with details, I've finally gotten the cahonas to rid myself of toxic situations and people. It's been lonely, scary but so much more productive. I found a great network of friends on MFP and I actually don't mind the loneliness because it's better than the alternative.
I've learned humility and how to toughen my skin. It's actually quite exhilarating.:drinker:

alliebug42560

Ugh! My husband the worst for sabotage! He throws chocolate in my lap. Sometimes it's too much temptation and I eat it. I went to a vegan diet three years ago for health reasons; no it also gives an excuse to turn down the "pushers" I just smile and say, " Oh, no thank you, I'm on a good food plan and don't want to blow it!" It takes time to learn to say no, but I have realized the people who sabotage are usually heavy; it threatens them when you begin to get healthy. Good luck!

carpetbagger12000

I find the worst underminers are the ones who look at me and say, “You look great! Why do you want to lose weight?” They are mostly my in-laws, most of whom are overweight/obese and to them I *am* a sylph. They are the ones who will serve me too much food on my plate or give me a full piece of pie when I only ask for a spoonful. I would rather be an example to these people than an object of criticism.

candaceenglefnp

yes, I have a few people that always try to feed me. It is hard to say "no" because I don't want to hurt their feelings, and I love good food, but I continue to say "no" because it will be worth it!! thankfully, my immediate family is very supportive and helps me stay morivated!

Maryaly40

My one co-worker was the worst!!!!! She walks around complaining about being fat but does nothing about it, and keeps shoving the bad foods in her face and runs her mouth!!! I stopped being her friend back in March, I couldn't take the negativity. Cut those negative ppl from your life, if you can, and you'll be much happier; trust me :flowerforyou:

PJ64

My one co-worker was the worst!!!!! She walks around complaining about being fat but does nothing about it, and keeps shoving the bad foods in her face and runs her mouth!!! I stopped being her friend back in March, I couldn't take the negativity. Cut those negative ppl from your life, if you can, and you'll be much happier; trust me :flowerforyou:

Same here! To make permanent changes in life, sometimes we need to change our playmates & playgrounds!

MommaKit79

The only real issue I have this time around is the food my in-laws prepare for dinner, since we eat there a LOT (they watch my daughter during the day and it is easier to eat there). It is better then the Sodium-filled "eat out" food so i dont complain.

Last time, my M.I.L. used to say, "Oh, you are fine, you dont need to lose anymore" and even now, she tells my husband that he is destined to be heavy because she and my F.I.L. are. UM, NO!!! Only if he chooses to be!!

staceface519

Theres a lot of people on here that say negative things all the time when they shouldnt. . . the other day a woman critisized me on my food diary because i had a bad day and ate accordingly. . . . she ruffled my feathers for her ignorance but when i looked at her pictures i could have said some mean things back to her and her weigt. . as her diary was private. . . so i let her know that im the one losing weight and i will eat whatever i choose and shouldnt be judged for it. . . just over look the negativity and look to the future. . .

I also have people that try to feed me but i tell them if im not hungry i cant eat or if i dont like the food i cant eat it but appreciate the thought. . surprisingly they stopped trying to feed me after 2 years of constant nagging. . lol

if someone is being negative, they arent worth being in your life and bring u down.

reasnableblonde

I actually have in-laws that point out how fast or how much I eat. It makes me super uncomfortable and embarrassed. I guess I'm supposed to eat like a bird. :-(

The thing is, I actually made wise(r) choices... I pass on the alcohol and desserts and rolls, I reach mostly for veggies, and my plate is never overflowing like theirs. HOWEVER - I'm HUNGRY. So I finish before everyone else... but pointing out how I ate 3 ears of corn or something isn't making the situation any better.

runnerchick69

My one co-worker was the worst!!!!! She walks around complaining about being fat but does nothing about it, and keeps shoving the bad foods in her face and runs her mouth!!! I stopped being her friend back in March, I couldn't take the negativity. Cut those negative ppl from your life, if you can, and you'll be much happier; trust me :flowerforyou:

OMG I so feel your pain! I worked with someone who would talk about needing to lose weight (she's morbidly obese). She tried to tell me she did a 1200 calorie diet for a month but never lost a pound.. I knew it was BS but I kept my mouth shut. Then one day in the breakroom she was going on and on about losing weight so I said well here is what I would do and she about took my head off. It took everything I had not to tell her off right then and there Obviously I've kept the weight off for several years now so I do know a little bit about how to lose and keep weight off! And she was the same way, one minute saying she needed to lose weight and eating a donut the next...drove me crazy! I don't work there anymore but I saw her a couple of months ago and she's gotten bigger...guess that 1200 calorie diet still isn't working So I've learned that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink!

pinkgumdrop123

My parents and boyfriend a few months ago (currently my ex) were the worst. My parents would go out and buy fast food and bring it home to me. While I did resist quite a bit there would always be times I felt so guilty that they bought food I would just eat it (didn't want to waste money or food).

My ex would literally tell me that I was loosing too much weight and that he doesn't want me to get too skinny.

I just try and ignore the haters and focus on myself.

Spartan_Maker

Reply by saying: "You ought to have higher expectations and standards, not just for me, but for yourself."

It's a way to shut someone up and make them realize that they're a moron.

Parenthetically, getting results has a way of making these people look really dumb.

runnerchick69

Do you have people who always say negative stuff? Like you are gonna fall of the bandwagon. Also they try to sabotage my diet by giving me chocolate. I give it back! I refuse to be fat forever!

Yes. Even now, several years after I started this journey, I still have people who say oh you need to eat a donut At my old workplace it got quite bad early on. I was so dedicated to taking the weight off that I passed up all kinds of goodies that were brought in to the office. I heard some snide remarks like well I bet Chris isn't going to eat any of that. It wasn't so much what they said but how they said it! I finally learned that it was jealousy and envy because I was doing something they wanted to do but for whatever reason they were not willing to do it. Well that is fine but why try to sabotage my progress. When I started to run it was pretty much the same thing. I had someone say well all you talk about is running...again envy and jealousy With the exception of one that is part of my family, the rest are no longer in my life!

robinregina

I know, I get the "if you lose any more weight the wind is going to blow you away. I just say, I guess I'll just have to see you later.LOL It's ok. There will always be haters, just take it as a compliment and keep on keeping on!!!!!

Good luck and keep up the good work!!!

EmilyG34

I find that a lot of the people that try to sabotage my diet and workout schedule, tend to act as if they want to workout with me and bail, or try to lessen ,y intensity while we are at the gym together.when at the gym and this happens I usually push the strength training harder ( 9/10 I do a mini cardio workout by myself before I meet up with them) If we go out to dinner they want to order an appetizer and a dessert. When I decline both of the those, it comes with a very condescending remark.
It's just something that I think comes with the territory.

AlphamaleBAMF

Do you have people who always say negative stuff?

Appropriate response "U MAD BRO?"

MB_Positif

I feel kind of like bish saying this, but NO! I have never, ever had anyone try to sabotage my efforts and I have been at this for over a year and a half! I don't know what the difference is between my friends and family and yours, but it makes me sad that EVERYONE does not have the kind of support I do!

PittShkr

Eat bacon in front of them.... and say they will get fat from it and you wont!

aegisprncs

I think we have all heard comments that we interpret as negative. I simply don't listen to them or take the intention behind the comment as a positive. The one that bothered me the most was a good friend not saying anything positive or negative for about 4 months (she was just waiting to see if I was going to do it)... to me that was negative. But I say screw that too because this is MY journey.

escloflowneCHANGED

I get the "You should stop now, you will look sick"

phoenix_59

the bottom line is that you are the only one who controls what you do, who you listen to, who you want to be around etc....you control this, so take charge and the issue goes away...easy! 8)

mfkn_Titanium

Yes. Haterz gone hate. I just store it away in my memory box for when they choose to go on a diet...then I start baking yummies and dropping it off at their houses....and cakes for birthdays...and taking them out for dinner. Heh. Gosh, wish someone would do this for me. My friends suck.

pittskaa

boyfriend, well ex as of a few days ago, would buy all of my favorite junk food. chocolate, salt and vinegar chips, vanilla coke. because he knew i would give in easily and he didn't want me to lose weight. he liked my big butt. lol

Z_I_L_L_A

Do you have people who always say negative stuff? Like you are gonna fall of the bandwagon. Also they try to sabotage my diet by giving me chocolate. I give it back! I refuse to be fat forever!

Jealous people are the saboteurs, they don't want you to succeed because it makes them look bad. I just smile and be nice, and go about my business until its time to not be nice.

aegisprncs

the bottom line is that you are the only one who controls what you do, who you listen to, who you want to be around etc....you control this, so take charge and the issue goes away...easy! 8)

This!!!

finchase

I have had some of the naysays... screw 'em, I say.

What I have found to be more sabotage-y is when I hear comments like "omg, you are too skinny" or "you are wasting away". Those comments, even though they are meant as compliments, feel negative and don't help push me along. Its hard work making this transformation.

I typically respond with "uhh.. I'm finally not in the obese category and have another 30 lbs until I'm at a healthy weight". That shuts them up

That's been my worse problem: The people who try to tell me that I'm too skinny. Just the other day my sister (who needs to lose 20-30 lbs herself) suggested I should be happy going into maintenance where I am right now. I'm still 5-7 lbs away from FINALLY (probably for the first time in my life) reaching a healthy BMI) and at least 15 lbs from what my doctor, personal trainer and I have decided should be an ideal weight for me. Why the hell would I want to stop and go into maintenance now???

lts42uk

Yes. Haterz gone hate. I just store it away in my memory box for when they choose to go on a diet...then I start baking yummies and dropping it off at their houses....and cakes for birthdays...and taking them out for dinner. Heh. Gosh, wish someone would do this for me. My friends suck.

:laugh:

Drussander

Maybe they are not saboteurs intentionally? That might be the better way to look at it. They may be jealous of your determination to better yourself, but more likely, they might just want to share with you?

I get offered junk all the time, and I never take it and then give it back! I don't take it in the first place. I tell them "thanks, that's really kind of you, but I am trying to lose some weight" or I'll say, "thanks, but I don't tolerate the sugary stuff well!"

The bottom line is you will have to endure temptation throughout your journey to health, so get used to it and be disciplined and just say "no thank you".

As for the negative comments like "fall off the wagon", that's not tenable and you should tell them you don't appreciate the lack of support, even if they are joking. Try to be graceful, but let them know you don't want to be discouraged.