What is wrong with me? What should I do?
cait0902
Posts: 127 Member
Ahhh! I am so depressed when it comes to my health, weight, and body. I HATE how I look and my self esteem is just about gone. BUT I still can't find the right motivation or anything to get me to do something about it. I want it soooooo bad, but I keep slacking off on my diet and exercise. I stuck with it for about 3-4 weeks one time (longest I have done it) and lost maybe 4 lbs, but then sprained my ankle and ended up gaining it all back. I have tried over and over and over again to get myself in the right frame of mind to get going again but I have such a difficult time. I want so badly to love, or even just like, my body....to feel good about myself, and to actually enjoy exercising.
I feel like I need to find this routine, or this rhythm, and I'm just having a super difficult time. I'm not sure what any of you can do to help me, but maybe hearing that other people are going through, or went through, a similar situation might help. How did you get started? How do you keep going?
I feel like I need to find this routine, or this rhythm, and I'm just having a super difficult time. I'm not sure what any of you can do to help me, but maybe hearing that other people are going through, or went through, a similar situation might help. How did you get started? How do you keep going?
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Replies
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What started me on my journey is a very personal issue, so I will send you a private message.0
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screw finding the motivation.
its holding you back.
You spend too much time trying to get motivated and inspired, youre just procrastinating and wasting valuable time.
Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.
Willpower
Determination
Desire
Do you want this or are you just saying it cause it sounds cool?
Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
Are you hoarding millions of motivational pictures and 'fitspo' and not using any of it and putting it back out into the universe?
Are you more concerned with your motivation and being inspired than actually doing anything?
Do you think that one morning youre just going to wake up and feel like it?
Prove you want this.
PROVE YOU WANT IT.
or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.
choice is yours, just as it always has been.
good luck0 -
I have been that person for a very long time... I was very overweight and couldn't motivate myself to do anything about it. What motivated me (FINALLY) was when my friend told me his younger brother had a severe stroke.... his brother happened to be my age at the time. My friend's brother had a stroke as a direct result of being obese, eating foods that are high in fat and sodium, and not exercising. Granted, he was much heavier than I was, but it was enough to scare me to do something. I started on 1-1-11 (I found out about my friend's brother at a New Year's Eve party) and haven't looked back. For me, the motivation to make the decision to do something was the fact that I could very easily have had a stroke, like my friend's brother. Up until that point, I had one excuse right after the other as to why I couldn't lose weight: I was tired... I worked all day.... I'm not "that fat" (that was a big fat LIE to myself).... my hsuband loves me despite my obesity.... and on and on and on!! The motivation to keep going everyday comes from a different place. Every day, I wake up and make the decision that today is going to be a healthy day. My journey has had many ups and downs (and binges), but I refused to let myself quit. It is sheer stubbornness that keeps me going... that, and making the decision everyday that I'm going to do right by my body. When I realized that I was slowly killing myself, I was able to transform myself internally and externally. I have been doing this for a year and a half... I am 36, so it's been harder for me to lose the weight now than it was when I tried at 25. A year and a half ago, I had sciatic (spelling??) nerve pain and a bad knee... both of which are much improved since losing weight. I don't want to be doing this when I'm 46 and wondering why I spent 10 years making excuses.
So, in my long-winded reply, my advice to you is to take it one day at a time. Don't focus on mistakes... everyday, make the decision to eat right and exercise in whatever capacity you're able to do so. Also, remember that this is not something that will happen overnight.... don't weigh yourself everyday... I weigh in every 2 weeks (sometimes monthly). Take your measurements and commit to taking control of your life and your habits.
That's all I have... hope it helps. Good luck!!!0 -
what yoovie said..^^0
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Just DO IT! Make yourself get up and DO IT! Make good choices and move. And tomorrow, DO IT AGAIN. Before you know it you'll be inspired and feel so much better! Much luck!0
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screw finding the motivation.
its holding you back.
You spend too much time trying to get motivated and inspired, youre just procrastinating and wasting valuable time.
Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.
Willpower
Determination
Desire
Do you want this or are you just saying it cause it sounds cool?
Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
Are you hoarding millions of motivational pictures and 'fitspo' and not using any of it and putting it back out into the universe?
Are you more concerned with your motivation and being inspired than actually doing anything?
Do you think that one morning youre just going to wake up and feel like it?
Prove you want this.
PROVE YOU WANT IT.
or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.
choice is yours, just as it always has been.
good luck
^This!
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I HATE how I look and my self esteem is just about gone. BUT I still can't find the right motivation or anything to get me to do something about it.
Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.
Repeat.
If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.0 -
Motivation is way over rated. Doing it to lose weight won't help. It really is one day at a time, one choice at a time. It is having a plan and being prepared. You can do this or anything else you want. Plan your menus, prepare your home, make an appoitment with your self to go for a walk. That's it...I promise. That is what I do every day.0
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screw finding the motivation.
its holding you back.
You spend too much time trying to get motivated and inspired, youre just procrastinating and wasting valuable time.
Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.
Willpower
Determination
Desire
Do you want this or are you just saying it cause it sounds cool?
Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
Are you hoarding millions of motivational pictures and 'fitspo' and not using any of it and putting it back out into the universe?
Are you more concerned with your motivation and being inspired than actually doing anything?
Do you think that one morning youre just going to wake up and feel like it?
Prove you want this.
PROVE YOU WANT IT.
or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.
choice is yours, just as it always has been.
good luck
^^Love this!0 -
If you want some help with motivation, encouragement, and someone to cheer you on, feel free to add me. I have the same exact problem, but I found since joining this site and meeting people like me, and even not like me! that the biggest motivation I've had is someone saying "good job!" to my seemingly small achievements that are helping me get healthier. It doesn't seem like that much, but it kinda is. You won't drop the weight in one day, so each tiny step helps.0
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The sad fact is that motivation comes from within. No one can give it to you. I can give you my reasons but they aren't going to be your reason to make the changes needed. Each of us has probably had an "ah ha!" moment that caused the switch to flip and made us decide that TODAY is the day we're going to finally take control of our own health.
I've suggested this to many people here and I know it works. Sit down and make a pro-con list. On the Pro side, list of all of the reasons you want to lose weight and be healthy. On the Con side make a list of the reasons you should not make the effort or "why I want to remain overweight." I can guarantee you that the list will open your eyes. Keep that list somewhere you can see it every day, like the fridge or the bathroom mirror.0 -
If you want to do it, you will. That's motivation. I started because I wanted to and, as I got older, I realized that if I didn't now I never would.
Small steps. Go for a walk instead of grabbing a bag of chips. If you're actually depressed (ie- suffering from depression) a better lifestyle can help in some cases, but you really should get professional help and there's no shame in that.
Sitting around and whining that you don't want to is a waste of time.0 -
Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.
Repeat.
If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.
Love this. Simple and effective.
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First, there is nothing wrong with you. I think every person on this site has been exactly where you are right now. I know I have been.
For me, the only thing that worked was committing to myself. I had to decide to do it and stop making excuses. Once I decided (it was sort of like an addict deciding to quit drugs), it became the most important thing in my life - I sort of obsessed over food and weight and exercise...but that was what I had to do. 18 months later I am a normal BMI and down 67 pounds. It was slow going and frustrating at times...and I screwed up a lot at first (but tried not to beat myself up about it). Now I screw up less (lol) but keep focused on the end goal and know after my success so far that I WILL GET THERE.
I think you may just need to make the decision that you are worth it - and even if you do not believe it at fist, each pound lost will build your esteem and support the truth that you ARE worth it. Good luck!!! and HANG IN THERE0 -
It's not about motivation, it's about commitment. It's saying "I'm going to go to the gym today" and going. It's saying "I'm going to eat a homemade meal instead of picking up fast food" and doing it. And then doing it again the next day, and the next.
It has to be something that you can't Not do. You MUST go to work. You MUST pick your kids up from school. You MUST go to the gym. Don't let it be optional.0 -
I HATE how I look and my self esteem is just about gone. BUT I still can't find the right motivation or anything to get me to do something about it.
Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.
Repeat.
If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.
Although this could be seen as harsh, I totally 100 % agree. YOU need to want this!! You have to get to that point where You are tired of not seeing results and you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and buckle down. No amount of advice or support is going to give you the sustaining motivation that you need. :0 -
I know how you feel. I kept saying to my husband that my switch was broken. I was wanting that switch to finally flip to I am ready to do this. In my mind, I thought I was but could never be consistent with exercise. That is/was my huge thing!! I had a million excuses as to why I didn't exercise, went to bed too late, have to make dinner, homework, etc...on and on.
I wish it were easy, it is not. But I truly feel if you keep dwelling on the why can't I, won't I, etc. It won't happen. As others said, just do it. I don't know if it is just exercise for you or watching what you eat as well. I don't eat bad, but certainly portion size is a bit out of control. When I joined MFP, a month ago, I was amazed at how fast calories add up and never paid attention. Now I always look at the calories before eating something and that helps me decide if it is worth it or not.
I am not always great at getting up at 4 am to exercise...I love how I feel but it is hard. So I make myself do something when I get home and try to at least walk briskly during the day. I realized how, if I exercise, I can have a little more flexibility with calories and realized how good I felt. I hate working out later in the day...like after my baby goes to sleep, but I know if I don't no one else will do it for me.
Hang in there!! The motivation will come when you start feeling good...it doesn't take long at all. Just take each day as it comes and don't get down on yourself, don't think about the mistakes. Stop saying tomorrow, do it now. If you eat something you shouldn't, realize it and tell yourself no more. If you fall, pick yourself up now, don't wait. Good luck!!0 -
Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.
Repeat.
If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.
THIS... and I also second what yoovie said. Make your health and well-being a priority and you will find time becomes more available, and eating well is easier that you ever thought it could be!0 -
I kicked my own *kitten*, and made myself like it.
I was sick of being so big. I was miserable, and I decided to take my life back. I don't think of this as a diet. I educated myself, and found out what/how I was going through life was making me sick. I don't believe in addictions, I believe in weakness. I decided to stop being weak, and become strong.0 -
I agree with yoovie too. You just gotta force yourself to get to the gym...even if you dont feel like it. Afterwards you will feel so much better. Eventually after forcing yourself for a few days to get to the gym you will get the hang of it and get into routine.
Getting into the habit of eating clean can also be a challenge. Just take it day by day and try your best every day. That is what I did and eventually kicked the habit of bad processed foods. Never thought I would but now I LOVE eating clean and only feel my best when I eat clean (My diet really just consisted of doughnuts, ice cream, and candy before).0 -
Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.
Willpower
Determination
Desire
Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
Prove you want this.
PROVE YOU WANT IT.
or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.
Preach! How bad do you want it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ 0 -
I HATE how I look and my self esteem is just about gone. BUT I still can't find the right motivation or anything to get me to do something about it.
Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.
Repeat.
If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.
5 minutes on the internet asking for help isn't keeping me from losing weight or doing what I want. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. That's a big part of this website isn't it? Getting help, support, motivation, etc??
But your other suggestions are good, thank you. It might be easier to make small changes one at a time instead of trying to chage everything all at once.0 -
screw finding the motivation.
its holding you back.
You spend too much time trying to get motivated and inspired, youre just procrastinating and wasting valuable time.
Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.
Willpower
Determination
Desire
Do you want this or are you just saying it cause it sounds cool?
Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
Are you hoarding millions of motivational pictures and 'fitspo' and not using any of it and putting it back out into the universe?
Are you more concerned with your motivation and being inspired than actually doing anything?
Do you think that one morning youre just going to wake up and feel like it?
Prove you want this.
PROVE YOU WANT IT.
or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.
choice is yours, just as it always has been.
good luck
JUST what I needed to hear today...thank you!!0 -
you can add me if you want i am on here everyday, but i agree with others you have to motivate yourself, i am not where i want to be, but i am not where i use to be. I was the same way not liking how i looked or felt. But i am 35 and a mother of 2 kids and i want to be around for them, i didnt like getting winded walking across the room, or going up stairs, or always tired and sluggish, you have to make your mind up that you want this, its not a temporary fix but a life style change, and until you are ready to make a lifestyle change you will continue to have excuses for why you cant or why its not working. Honestly joining this site has helped me a lot i see my friends working out and losing and encouraging me and it just pushes me to go on and i do the same for them. I make myself go workout every single day, and i have changed my eating habits and i am seeing results. It feels good when i can get on gym equipment and take not 1 but 2-3 cardio classes in a day when i could barely make it through one class, or get so winded on the equipment and not want to finish it. Of course i could of used those as excuses but i didnt i powered through and look where i am at now. So its all up to you and what you want, dont mean to go off rambling but its so easy to get depressed when you dont see numbers moving the way you want and its easy to get back into old habits, but again its a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. Until you make up in your mind that you wnat to change things permantly you will always revert back to old ways and habits. Hope it helps some, but i am here if you want to add me and im on here everyday! 0
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I HATE how I look and my self esteem is just about gone. BUT I still can't find the right motivation or anything to get me to do something about it.
Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.
Repeat.
If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.
Although this could be seen as harsh, I totally 100 % agree. YOU need to want this!! You have to get to that point where You are tired of not seeing results and you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and buckle down. No amount of advice or support is going to give you the sustaining motivation that you need. :
I disagree. Advice and support can be very beneficial, hence this website.0 -
I saw a picture of me and thought "oh hell no!" I keep that picture on my refrigerator as a reminder of where I started. I refuse to start over after all the hardwork I have put in. And now, I actually love to workout and enjoy eating better. It isn't just how I look, it is how I FEEL. You just have to find that "oh hell no" point and take your life back...you can do this 0
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Yeah i've been there and still am there. I'm on here trying to change and I think i've come a long way in doing what it takes to be perma-fit. in the end, a lifestyle change is the only thing that works, so personally i've been focusing on small things. I have made a habit of logging now, that's a perma-habit. when i get home now, i eat wraps all the time with lots of veggies and a protein. i eat apples and peanut butter instead of candy - when i don't give up (and I do). I also over-estimate my calorie goals... i know it sounds weird but i was going over alot when i aimed for 1600 a day...now i aim for 1200 and usually go over only between 50 and 100 ish... so in the end I am still eating less calories but don't feel guilty when I don't reach my aimed-for calorie goal. I don't log exercise either cause i don't want to get into the habit of just exercising so i can eat. I just won't feel as bad going over a few calories that day knowing i worked out. anyways my point is that these are tiny things i do that have worked for me, and i know what its like to keep giving up and going back...but i think when you stop thinking all or nothing, as in i sucked today i give up, then it becomes more of a lifestyle goal...like hey there's no rush, this is permanent.0
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bump ..
I always need words of encouragement0 -
screw finding the motivation.
its holding you back.
You spend too much time trying to get motivated and inspired, youre just procrastinating and wasting valuable time.
Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.
Willpower
Determination
Desire
Do you want this or are you just saying it cause it sounds cool?
Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
Are you hoarding millions of motivational pictures and 'fitspo' and not using any of it and putting it back out into the universe?
Are you more concerned with your motivation and being inspired than actually doing anything?
Do you think that one morning youre just going to wake up and feel like it?
Prove you want this.
PROVE YOU WANT IT.
or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.
choice is yours, just as it always has been.
good luck
this girl!0
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