What is wrong with me? What should I do?

xXKatrinaXx

I agree with yoovie too. You just gotta force yourself to get to the gym...even if you dont feel like it. Afterwards you will feel so much better. Eventually after forcing yourself for a few days to get to the gym you will get the hang of it and get into routine.

Getting into the habit of eating clean can also be a challenge. Just take it day by day and try your best every day. That is what I did and eventually kicked the habit of bad processed foods. Never thought I would but now I LOVE eating clean and only feel my best when I eat clean (My diet really just consisted of doughnuts, ice cream, and candy before).

iWaffle

Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.

Willpower
Determination
Desire

Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
Prove you want this.

PROVE YOU WANT IT.

or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.

Preach! How bad do you want it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ

cait0902

I HATE how I look and my self esteem is just about gone. BUT I still can't find the right motivation or anything to get me to do something about it.

Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.
Repeat.

If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.

5 minutes on the internet asking for help isn't keeping me from losing weight or doing what I want. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. That's a big part of this website isn't it? Getting help, support, motivation, etc??

But your other suggestions are good, thank you. It might be easier to make small changes one at a time instead of trying to chage everything all at once.

definitelyval

screw finding the motivation.

its holding you back.

You spend too much time trying to get motivated and inspired, youre just procrastinating and wasting valuable time.

Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.

Willpower
Determination
Desire

Do you want this or are you just saying it cause it sounds cool?
Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
Are you hoarding millions of motivational pictures and 'fitspo' and not using any of it and putting it back out into the universe?
Are you more concerned with your motivation and being inspired than actually doing anything?
Do you think that one morning youre just going to wake up and feel like it?

Prove you want this.

PROVE YOU WANT IT.

or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.

choice is yours, just as it always has been.

good luck

JUST what I needed to hear today...thank you!!

NikkiGetsFit185

you can add me if you want i am on here everyday, but i agree with others you have to motivate yourself, i am not where i want to be, but i am not where i use to be. I was the same way not liking how i looked or felt. But i am 35 and a mother of 2 kids and i want to be around for them, i didnt like getting winded walking across the room, or going up stairs, or always tired and sluggish, you have to make your mind up that you want this, its not a temporary fix but a life style change, and until you are ready to make a lifestyle change you will continue to have excuses for why you cant or why its not working. Honestly joining this site has helped me a lot i see my friends working out and losing and encouraging me and it just pushes me to go on and i do the same for them. I make myself go workout every single day, and i have changed my eating habits and i am seeing results. It feels good when i can get on gym equipment and take not 1 but 2-3 cardio classes in a day when i could barely make it through one class, or get so winded on the equipment and not want to finish it. Of course i could of used those as excuses but i didnt i powered through and look where i am at now. So its all up to you and what you want, dont mean to go off rambling but its so easy to get depressed when you dont see numbers moving the way you want and its easy to get back into old habits, but again its a LIFESTYLE CHANGE. Until you make up in your mind that you wnat to change things permantly you will always revert back to old ways and habits. Hope it helps some, but i am here if you want to add me and im on here everyday!

cait0902

I HATE how I look and my self esteem is just about gone. BUT I still can't find the right motivation or anything to get me to do something about it.

Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.
Repeat.

If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.

Although this could be seen as harsh, I totally 100 % agree. YOU need to want this!! You have to get to that point where You are tired of not seeing results and you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and buckle down. No amount of advice or support is going to give you the sustaining motivation that you need. :

I disagree. Advice and support can be very beneficial, hence this website.

mama2shi

I saw a picture of me and thought "oh hell no!" I keep that picture on my refrigerator as a reminder of where I started. I refuse to start over after all the hardwork I have put in. And now, I actually love to workout and enjoy eating better. It isn't just how I look, it is how I FEEL. You just have to find that "oh hell no" point and take your life back...you can do this

Melanie_xox

Yeah i've been there and still am there. I'm on here trying to change and I think i've come a long way in doing what it takes to be perma-fit. in the end, a lifestyle change is the only thing that works, so personally i've been focusing on small things. I have made a habit of logging now, that's a perma-habit. when i get home now, i eat wraps all the time with lots of veggies and a protein. i eat apples and peanut butter instead of candy - when i don't give up (and I do). I also over-estimate my calorie goals... i know it sounds weird but i was going over alot when i aimed for 1600 a day...now i aim for 1200 and usually go over only between 50 and 100 ish... so in the end I am still eating less calories but don't feel guilty when I don't reach my aimed-for calorie goal. I don't log exercise either cause i don't want to get into the habit of just exercising so i can eat. I just won't feel as bad going over a few calories that day knowing i worked out. anyways my point is that these are tiny things i do that have worked for me, and i know what its like to keep giving up and going back...but i think when you stop thinking all or nothing, as in i sucked today i give up, then it becomes more of a lifestyle goal...like hey there's no rush, this is permanent.

hersheyskiss

bump ..
I always need words of encouragement

Abells

screw finding the motivation.

its holding you back.

You spend too much time trying to get motivated and inspired, youre just procrastinating and wasting valuable time.

Throw the need for motivation out the window and lean on the more solid friends.

Willpower
Determination
Desire

Do you want this or are you just saying it cause it sounds cool?
Do you really really want this or are you just pretending?
Are you hoarding millions of motivational pictures and 'fitspo' and not using any of it and putting it back out into the universe?
Are you more concerned with your motivation and being inspired than actually doing anything?
Do you think that one morning youre just going to wake up and feel like it?

Prove you want this.

PROVE YOU WANT IT.

or keep proving that it just isnt a priority.

choice is yours, just as it always has been.

good luck

this girl!

auria17

Hi,

Reading your post it sounds like this is a very emotional driven thing, when you tell your body it's ugly and fat then it will be what you ask it to be. Have you heard of EFT Emotional Freedom Technique look it up online it is free and you can start taping on the thoughts that are blocking you from creating a state of mind that is focused and able to commit to health and wellness, not skinny and beautiful.

Everything is from within out, if you start on the inside the outside will start to naturally reshape to the inside.

jcomley1

I HATE how I look and my self esteem is just about gone. BUT I still can't find the right motivation or anything to get me to do something about it.

Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.

Repeat.

If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.

Although this could be seen as harsh, I totally 100 % agree. YOU need to want this!! You have to get to that point where You are tired of not seeing results and you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and buckle down. No amount of advice or support is going to give you the sustaining motivation that you need. :

I disagree. Advice and support can be very beneficial, hence this website.

I dont know :frown:
Advice and support can make you feel good for a while. It can motivate you to an extent and is useful for learning and extending your knowledge.
However, it cannot be depended on to get you to the gym and to keep you on the straight and narrow. Internet "friends" and people with messages like, "you can do it! just do it" will only push you so far, the other 50 percent is all you.
However that is entirely personal opinion, and what worked for me.

All i know is, since I decided enough was enough, its been two years of 6 day a week training, and healthy eating and I have never looked back. and i wont give any "motivational friends" credit for that. that was and continues to be me and sheer willpower.
But whatever works for an individual!!
At least you are here, and seeking a healthier lifestyle, for which I truly applaud you. :flowerforyou:

onyxgirl17

I feel you. Personally, I like setting small goals so I see my progress. I also measure progress in inches, not only in the scale.

DantiaX

I think what I do is make myself do it everyday. Some days I have to force myself. I do my exercise before I can second guess it and I only buy food for the house that is healthy so I have no other options. My husband is really supportive and, sadly, I'm terrified of developing diabetes because of being overweight. I tell myself that it took more than a day to get this way so it's going to take more than a day to change it. (My husband actually said that to me lol) Feel free to add me as a friend. I'd love to be in your cheering section.

linda1243

If you want it then decide it isn't a choice.

I am not motivated to go to my job, I don't like my career but I go anyway.
I was not motivated to go to school, but I did it anyway.

Consider it non-optional. Be disciplined not motivated. Think of something you didn't want to do and did it anyway. Use that determination/perseverance and attack this the same way. You control yourself. You decide what will be done.

newhabit

It takes a long time to make a change. This is a very useful model we use with clients who say they want to change but can't figure out why they can't... see below... also very based in research. not sure if it will help you but i like the idea behind it.

http://www.uri.edu/research/cprc/TTM/StagesOfChange.htm

"Five stages of change have been conceptualized for a variety of problem behaviors. The five stages of change are precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. Precontemplation is the stage at which there is no intention to change behavior in the foreseeable future. Many individuals in this stage are unaware or underaware of their problems. Contemplation is the stage in which people are aware that a problem exists and are seriously thinking about overcoming it but have not yet made a commitment to take action. Preparation is a stage that combines intention and behavioral criteria. Individuals in this stage are intending to take action in the next month and have unsuccessfully taken action in the past year. Action is the stage in which individuals modify their behavior, experiences, or environment in order to overcome their problems. Action involves the most overt behavioral changes and requires considerable commitment of time and energy. Maintenance is the stage in which people work to prevent relapse and consolidate the gains attained during action. For addictive behaviors this stage extends from six months to an indeterminate period past the initial action."

Katbaran

Different approaches work for different people. They ALL work, just pick one and get started! My own approach has been--One day at a time. Soon, all those "one days" add up to a whole lot of accomplishment, weight loss and daily exercise. Don't beat yourself up over a day you skipped exercising or ate a little too much. Just get back to doing what you're doing and move on. Just make sure "one day" of being off your plan doesn't turn into many more.

Best of luck!

jtave003

If you guide yourself by how you "feel", you will never do anything. Its about being disciplined and just doing it regardless to how you feel. Half the battle is starting. Most things we do, we do them because we have to not because we want to. Working out and eating the right things is the same idea, we must do it because we have to and eventually it will become something we want to do.

You_Can_Be

Remember that the thoughts that you have drive the feelings that you have and then the actions so if you think negatively you will feel negatively and then perform negative actions.

Spend some time visualising yourself succeeding. Form a picture in your mind of the good days and every time you feel like you can't distract yourself and think of the good pictures, that you have formed. If necessary distract yourself by doing anything from maths puzzles to cleaning or even exercise.

Be mindful of what you eat, before you put it in your mouth notice the smell and the texture, think about where it came from and what is in what you are about to eat and then and only then taste and savour the taste. Chew each mouthful 28 times and put your fork down in-between. It will take much longer to eat your food. Finally stop when it stops tasting good, this is your brains way of saying it has had enough before the fullness receptors have kicked in. If you are still hungry after your meal distract again for as long as possible and then eat veggies only to fill up if still hungry.

Oh and check that you are not thirsty- many of us think we are hungry and are actually thirsty.

Stay on track it is worth it. Live your life to the full, you only have one. :happy:

yo_andi

I HATE how I look and my self esteem is just about gone. BUT I still can't find the right motivation or anything to get me to do something about it.

Spend less time on the internet asking random people for help.
Walk more.
Set a goal you can achieve for one day. Something simple like drink 6 glasses of water.
Do this for one week.
Add another simple goal.
Repeat.

If you lack the personal motivation, nothing is going to work. If you really hate how you look, do something about it.

Although this could be seen as harsh, I totally 100 % agree. YOU need to want this!! You have to get to that point where You are tired of not seeing results and you pull yourself up by your bootstraps and buckle down. No amount of advice or support is going to give you the sustaining motivation that you need. :

I disagree. Advice and support can be very beneficial, hence this website.

It's only beneficial if you use it. Otherwise you're just procrastinating more.