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  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
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    i don't have that problem, yet. but if i were in your shoes, i'd ignore that entirely. if she doesn't want to cuddle with you, then don't cuddle. she'll either come around, or something in that relationship will move along. it seems that part of what she says is personal preference, (and yes, some women feel that way about men=soft squishy teddy bears), and another part of it is her own insecurities. either way, it shouldn't stop you from being the person that you ultimately want to be.
    hth

    I love her but this is NOT going to effect my fitness. I have too much riding on it. I just suck it up and sleep on the couch most nights haha.
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
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    I agree with Tara. Maybe it is her way of dealing with HER insecurities about her body...could be jealousy...could be fearful of you leaving her...could be causing her to take a hard look at her fitness level and "forcing" her to have to make decisions about her own body to "keep up" with you and your fitness...good topic to explore further....

    so her reasoning would be push him away and say some effed up stuff.... this is why doing what you don't believe in is silly to me. If she feels that way, shouldn't she want to hold him close and say 'damn I am lucky'?

    thank God I am not in that boat....

    Defense mechanism...

    a terrible one! cause this can conclude the relationship. Then 5 years will pass and she will regret it because she didn't mean it, and he will find someone to suit him....

    AND I hope DUC78 gets someone to appreciate him.

    I hope he does too...especially supporting him in ALL the POSITIVE CHANGES!!!! Everyone deserves that....

    My three amazingly awesome children appreciate the efforts I am doing. I am sure somewhere in there she does too... hopefully someday ... someday she'll find a better way to show it.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    I agree with Tara. Maybe it is her way of dealing with HER insecurities about her body...could be jealousy...could be fearful of you leaving her...could be causing her to take a hard look at her fitness level and "forcing" her to have to make decisions about her own body to "keep up" with you and your fitness...good topic to explore further....

    so her reasoning would be push him away and say some effed up stuff.... this is why doing what you don't believe in is silly to me. If she feels that way, shouldn't she want to hold him close and say 'damn I am lucky'?

    thank God I am not in that boat....

    Defense mechanism...

    a terrible one! cause this can conclude the relationship. Then 5 years will pass and she will regret it because she didn't mean it, and he will find someone to suit him....

    AND I hope DUC78 gets someone to appreciate him.

    I hope he does too...especially supporting him in ALL the POSITIVE CHANGES!!!! Everyone deserves that....

    My three amazingly awesome children appreciate the efforts I am doing. I am sure somewhere in there she does too... hopefully someday ... someday she'll find a better way to show it.

    i hope so too man... HOPEFULLY it's a phase, and there could be something totally different bothering her, like depression. some people can say hateful things without realizing it. I hope that's the case. You guys have a foundation and no one needs to crumble it
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
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    I agree with Tara. Maybe it is her way of dealing with HER insecurities about her body...could be jealousy...could be fearful of you leaving her...could be causing her to take a hard look at her fitness level and "forcing" her to have to make decisions about her own body to "keep up" with you and your fitness...good topic to explore further....

    so her reasoning would be push him away and say some effed up stuff.... this is why doing what you don't believe in is silly to me. If she feels that way, shouldn't she want to hold him close and say 'damn I am lucky'?

    thank God I am not in that boat....

    Defense mechanism...

    a terrible one! cause this can conclude the relationship. Then 5 years will pass and she will regret it because she didn't mean it, and he will find someone to suit him....

    AND I hope DUC78 gets someone to appreciate him.

    I hope he does too...especially supporting him in ALL the POSITIVE CHANGES!!!! Everyone deserves that....

    My three amazingly awesome children appreciate the efforts I am doing. I am sure somewhere in there she does too... hopefully someday ... someday she'll find a better way to show it.

    i hope so too man... HOPEFULLY it's a phase, and there could be something totally different bothering her, like depression. some people can say hateful things without realizing it. I hope that's the case. You guys have a foundation and no one needs to crumble it

    this is true. i finally got diagnosed (well over a year ago) with post partum depression after i screamed at my husband that i hated him, even though i didn't. it's true she could be suffering some form of depression, but don't you dare ever tell her to seek help because that'll be the last time you see daylight lol.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    My three amazingly awesome children appreciate the efforts I am doing. I am sure somewhere in there she does too... hopefully someday ... someday she'll find a better way to show it.
    i hope so too man... HOPEFULLY it's a phase, and there could be something totally different bothering her, like depression. some people can say hateful things without realizing it. I hope that's the case. You guys have a foundation and no one needs to crumble it
    this is true. i finally got diagnosed (well over a year ago) with post partum depression after i screamed at my husband that i hated him, even though i didn't. it's true she could be suffering some form of depression, but don't you dare ever tell her to seek help because that'll be the last time you see daylight lol.

    true that. my girl was depressed, and it almost ruined us. I took offense to it. Since I am an adapting partner and empathetic, we got through it and fight so much less.... so I would recommend if that is the case, TAKE NO TEXT MESSAGE WRONG:drinker:
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
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    It's all kinds of jacked up like three ways from Sunday kind of jacked up. She does have anxiety and depression issues knows it and admits it just wont do anything about. Haha ... why did she have to look so good in those jeans when I met her?! *bangs head on desk*
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    It's all kinds of jacked up like three ways from Sunday kind of jacked up. She does have anxiety and depression issues knows it and admits it just wont do anything about. Haha ... why did she have to look so good in those jeans when I met her?! *bangs head on desk*

    hang in there and be supportive then!! don't take offense to it brother! 3 kids and a foundation. and obviously you love her, she loves you, just in that "NO FILTER" stage. You just gotta man up and let it go in one ear and out the other, and take it out at the gym... there ya go the best testosterone you can take is being p-o'ed by the SO ahaha

    see ya guys tomorrow! im outta here!
  • dare2love81
    dare2love81 Posts: 928 Member
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    There is NOTHING better than being wrapped in strong, toned arms... or legs for that matter...:blushing:

    THIS. End of story.
  • EndlessSacrifice
    EndlessSacrifice Posts: 325
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    It must just be a personal preference of hers.
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
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    It's all kinds of jacked up like three ways from Sunday kind of jacked up. She does have anxiety and depression issues knows it and admits it just wont do anything about. Haha ... why did she have to look so good in those jeans when I met her?! *bangs head on desk*

    see now when i was depressed, my husband calling me crazy just pissed me off more. but when i talked to my BFF, she's the one who told me i should go to a doctor and see about getting some kind of help. now since we've been friends for going on 13 years and are practically like sisters i of course listened to her. i went on some meds for a few months, and i've been mostly great since then. what i'm getting at is, maybe she needs a girls night out. if that's not enough, ask her best friend for advice (in a way that won't seem offensive to your wife).
  • MonicaLee92
    MonicaLee92 Posts: 222
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    What?!?! I couldn't imagine having a guy who was in great shape and not wanting to touch him!
  • amberleighM04
    amberleighM04 Posts: 108
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    My husband wouldn't like it if I became too muscular or sinewy, because he loves my curves, but I don't think he would ever stop wanting me.
  • ValerieMartini2Olives
    ValerieMartini2Olives Posts: 3,024 Member
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    I don't have a significant other, but I have a few people I date and do adult things with. And they've all been more than pleased that I've lost weight. So wish I could go into some detail ;)
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    I don't have a significant other, but I have a few people I date and do adult things with. And they've all been more than pleased that I've lost weight. So wish I could go into some detail ;)

    Go for it! I'm there with you...though I'm not all that afraid of sharing. One of the guys I'm dating told me I was tiny, like fun sized. I can't say I've ever been called tiny before...and I like it.. (insert smirk here).

    OP, I hope things work out for you...you obviously love her, kuddos on loving yourself too...get in shape and be supportive...all you can do man.
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,358 Member
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    Oh wow! Now I know that lately my husband has pushed me away for his computer but it's because in his words, she's new lol. My husband has developed a gut but I love him and desire him, if he had abs, it might be a good thing he don't have them, he wouldn't be able to keep me off him.
  • laurin2010
    laurin2010 Posts: 65
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    I love muscles on a man and I think women with muscles are super attractive! Everyone is different and likes different things. My SO loves my body, always touching! :love:
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,198 Member
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    Have a significant other that seems to be less and less interested in you since you've been losing weight and toning up? Or am I the only one on this boat? My wife says "Its one thing to look at muscles, but gross I do not want to touch them or cuddle up to them."

    :huh: This does not compute...
  • bratleen
    bratleen Posts: 60 Member
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    She may be resentful of the time that you spend working out, especially if it has significantly cut into your couple or family time--and if you are helping out around the house less because of your workout schedule or your eating requirements are causing more work for her it might be an almost reflexive payback....not that this is right or something I agree with, but many people use sex as currency. Try to arrange time to do something that the two of you did before you started on your fitness journey....she might miss those things and feel disconnected from you now--remind her that you are the same person that she fell in love with, just in a little different packaging. Good Luck :)
  • Janet9906
    Janet9906 Posts: 546 Member
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    Yep....it's crazy, I look better then I ever have and he has no interest :huh:
  • karawRN
    karawRN Posts: 311
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    I feel like he cant keep up,

    but i feel sexier since working out, so i think his sex drive stayed the same, and mine sky rocketed ;)

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