Who Wants to be my 75th Friend?

124

Replies

  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    I am the only Faerie you will ever meet.....

    Nope. He already knows me.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    People are STILL trying out for this? Okay, I'm gonna make this easy for all of you.

    Ladies: Get on your knees and open wide.
    Men: Offer hookers and blow. More blow than hookers.

    It's really not that hard.

    Oh, I'm not trying out, not yet, anyways. First I want to see if this dude has a single attribute I find desirable in a MFP friend.

    So far......no. :yawn: But I try to have an open mind.
    He's won the internet. Easily one of the best people on here.

    FYI, *kitten* kissing is how I got on the list.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    Been there, done that. :flowerforyou:
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Let's turn the application process back on you...what do you have to offer your 75th friend, that would make us WANT to apply? :tongue:

    Well first off, let me say I think you're WAY too young to be a MILF. Also, I have drugs.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Been there, done that. :flowerforyou:

    Idk who u r
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    "They're made out of meat."

    "Meat?"

    "Meat. They're made out of meat."

    "Meat?"

    "There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."

    "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"

    "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."

    "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

    "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."

    "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

    "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."

    "Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

    "Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"

    "Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

    "Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

    "No brain?"

    "Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."

    < 2 >
    "So ... what does the thinking?"

    "You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."

    "Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

    "Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"

    "Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

    "Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

    "Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"

    "First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."

    "We're supposed to talk to meat."

    "That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."

    "They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

    "Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

    "I thought you just told me they used radio."

    "They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

    "Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

    "Officially or unofficially?"

    < 3 >
    "Both."

    "Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

    "I was hoping you would say that."

    "It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

    "I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

    "Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

    "So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."

    "That's it."

    "Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"

    "They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."

    "A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."

    "And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."

    "Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

    "Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."

    < 4 >
    "They always come around."

    "And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."

    the end

    I like ur story
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    ^ u actually read thru all that gibberish?
  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
    i have a lot of friends who are metal heads and so i get exposed to a lot of Nickelback -

    Metal heads? who listen to NICKLEBACK? Are you sure?:indifferent:
  • mandipandi75
    mandipandi75 Posts: 6,035 Member
    I need to take an *kitten* pic, so you can kiss it... :)
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    I need to take an *kitten* pic, so you can kiss it... :)

    r u sure it would fit in the pic? U can only crop so much. I kid, I kid.
  • msbobbitx
    msbobbitx Posts: 66 Member
    :flowerforyou:
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
    Assuming you havent filled it in yet.

    You should add me because I can back flip. Its pretty damn cool.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Assuming you havent filled it in yet.

    You should add me because I can back flip. Its pretty damn cool.

    Not a bad reason in an of itself.
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
    Assuming you havent filled it in yet.

    You should add me because I can back flip. Its pretty damn cool.

    Not a bad reason in an of itself.

    score!
  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
    Do not add me, I'm a smartass, trash talking, kick *kitten* take no prisioners kinda gal.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Do not add me, I'm a smartass, trash talking, kick *kitten* take no prisioners kinda gal.

    ur a cat lady
  • mandipandi75
    mandipandi75 Posts: 6,035 Member
    If I withhold your blow, you'll come around...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I want to unsubscribe from this thread because you have already rejected me anyway.

    ::pouting::
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    If I withhold your blow, you'll come around...

    Well I do head to Central America on Sunday, so I should be ok.
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
    If I withhold your blow, you'll come around...

    Well I do head to Central America on Sunday, so I should be ok.

    This ManWolf has a plan B for everything! My word! Its amazing!
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I wanna be 76. I like making people break their own rules.

    oh... and I carry a 6 pack with me everywhere I go.
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    I wanna be 76. I like making people break their own rules.

    oh... and I carry a 6 pack with me everywhere I go.

    Call me wne you get an 8 pack. I kid kid. Great job
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
    I'm guessing that position has been filled. I suppose we should take our 6 packs, and our blow, and our backflips and try again next blue moon.

    gonna go and howl in a corner in the mean time.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    I'm guessing that position has been filled. I suppose we should take our 6 packs, and our blow, and our backflips and try again next blue moon.

    gonna go and howl in a corner in the mean time.

    Ok, I'm with you... Let's Blow this Popsicle stand!
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
    I'm guessing that position has been filled. I suppose we should take our 6 packs, and our blow, and our backflips and try again next blue moon.

    gonna go and howl in a corner in the mean time.

    Ok, I'm with you... Let's Blow this Popsicle stand!

    Your abs are amazing, by the way. I dont know if this is the right place or time to tell you this. *dramatic pause*
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
    Thanks! (no bad time for a compliment... Tho the OP may have some fun with it!)
  • Molly_Maguire
    Molly_Maguire Posts: 1,103 Member
    Let's turn the application process back on you...what do you have to offer your 75th friend, that would make us WANT to apply? :tongue:

    Well first off, let me say I think you're WAY too young to be a MILF. Also, I have drugs.

    MILF has nothing to do with age, it applies to any girl who has a kid, that guys in general still find bone-able.

    ...But on that note: YOUNG?? !'m 27. I'll take that as a compliment. I've been feeling old lately, so thanks for that. :)

    I don't do drugs. So... looks like you have nothing that would interest me. I'm Audi.
  • BabyLeila23
    BabyLeila23 Posts: 410
    Because I'm awesome and you're funny :tongue:
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Because I'm awesome and you're funny :tongue:

    I AM funny, but how r U awesome?
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    Let's turn the application process back on you...what do you have to offer your 75th friend, that would make us WANT to apply? :tongue:

    Well first off, let me say I think you're WAY too young to be a MILF. Also, I have drugs.

    MILF has nothing to do with age, it applies to any girl who has a kid, that guys in general still find bone-able.

    ...But on that note: YOUNG?? !'m 27. I'll take that as a compliment. I've been feeling old lately, so thanks for that. :)

    I don't do drugs. So... looks like you have nothing that would interest me. I'm Audi.

    id cut my pinky off to be 27 again.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories