Starting to find comments on weightloss annoying and hurtful

TheBigYin

I'm assuming the comments are from jealous fat people - just smile, change the subject, and take the ultimate revenge - outlive them...

(I've lost over 140 lb's in the last year, and regularly get the "You've lost weight... are you - er - okay?" from people who haven't seem me in a while...)

j1wright

Me being my usual snarky sarcastic self. If someone asked if I was sick, or anorexic, I would probably answer them yes I am sickand only have 6 months to live. When people ask these questions, they don't want truth. I love shock value. I have given many similar shocking answers in the past to many random questions.

And giving a silly response might make the other person realize it was a silly question to ask in the first place.

^^^^^All of this could work for sure. For the people who think they are asking as if it is a joke.....no they are either really worried concerned or a little dumb (especially the one who thought I was anorexic for counting calories).
The comments that I am wasting away and when people just call me skinny and instead of my real name, I ignore now.

Thanks guys I am glad I am not the only one that gets the concerned or hurtful comments. I wish none of us had to go through it though. I waited for the day for all these great compliments and it was short lived to now annowing and hurtful comments.

P.S. At one point I had 5 people (two strangers and three people I know) ask in some way when I was due. So I have had to explain I am just fat and not pregnant as well and this was 4 years after my first and about a year and half before I got pg withmy last.

gramacanada

I love some of the answers here. They are bang on. You don't owe people an explanation. They don't care about what you're eating or how much. They're making random comments. Just say I'm fine and leave it at that. I got aids from your Mother. Pass the laxatives. A way out there retort, usually works. I brought 1 piece of lettuce for lunch, would you like to share it.? Remember this, There are 8 billion people in the world. Don't let 1 ruin your day.

Crochetluvr

I think, in my case, if someone made similar comments to be it might be because they are used to seeing me fat and not thin. To those who know me, fat is normal....thin is not. So they might associate that with a problem.

Mummyadams

Oh I get this ALL the time - mainly from family! I find it annoying because I have lost and toned up the healthy way (LOTS of training and watching what I eat) - not starving, no laxatives - just good old sweat!. I think next time they comment on how 'skinny I am' and when they comment on 'how I am losing too much weight' that I will say 'yep - all the Crossfit & weight training at 5.30am is really paying off'!

opuntia

I think people genuinely don't expect overweight people to lose weight, and they can find it quite a shock to see someone physically changed. In every workplace I've been in, practically all my female colleagues were permanently 'losing weight' - counting calories, doing weight watchers or slimmers world together. But with the exception of one person, none of them actually lost weight - they all stayed big, and their weight watching seemed more a social thing to bond over and have a laugh over than something they took seriously. I never got the impression they even believed they were going to lose weight.

I think it's the exception to the rule that someone actually loses weight. The one woman who lost weight also had experienced the death of her son, and people worried that she was getting an eating disorder, because they associated the weight loss with her bereavement. She didn't become underweight at all - but her body became significantly thinner than it was when she was overweight, so people saw the difference. I don't think she had an eating disorder - I think for her it was a way of dealing with her grief, by focusing on something positive and sticking with it. She looked great and became more confident. But no one else's weight watching had worked, so people thought her weight loss must be somehow wrong and unhealthy.

Vilhelmine

hhahahah thats funny!!! I personally get crap from the fat people in my life - they like to make fun of the fact that I have no boobs now that I lost 42 lbs. Finally I said to them, after hearing crap all day, well if I weighed as much as you do then I would have boobs like you too!!! shut them up, but now she keeps posting stuff on facebook about not needing to be skinny to be beautiful........HA i never said I was skinny, nor have i ever said that she wasn't beautiful, I am just fit and slim and she is fat and whatever she thinks she is....unhealthy in my book

britfout

Wow! I could've posted this! Exact EVERYTHING except I'm 22. Had a baby got to 195 now down to 120 at 5'4 and everyone's saying I'm 'too skinny'. I've gotten the anorexic comment too. It's hurtful but I try to look at it logically. I stand in front of a mirror, and NOPE not too skinny. Need toning definitely but I WANT to be thin and that's all that matters. I think at our height it's such a dramatic difference that people feel the need to say something dramatic and think you'll take it as a compliment. Idk though it's pretty weird but I can't say I hate the attention. Oh btw I too was about 135 pre pregnancy but I find that I still don't look as good now as I did then because I have so much more flab.

j1wright

I think people genuinely don't expect overweight people to lose weight, and they can find it quite a shock to see someone physically changed. In every workplace I've been in, practically all my female colleagues were permanently 'losing weight' - counting calories, doing weight watchers or slimmers world together. But with the exception of one person, none of them actually lost weight - they all stayed big, and their weight watching seemed more a social thing to bond over and have a laugh over than something they took seriously. I never got the impression they even believed they were going to lose weight.

I think it's the exception to the rule that someone actually loses weight. The one woman who lost weight also had experienced the death of her son, and people worried that she was getting an eating disorder, because they associated the weight loss with her bereavement. She didn't become underweight at all - but her body became significantly thinner than it was when she was overweight, so people saw the difference. I don't think she had an eating disorder - I think for her it was a way of dealing with her grief, by focusing on something positive and sticking with it. She looked great and became more confident. But no one else's weight watching had worked, so people thought her weight loss must be somehow wrong and unhealthy.

I have also had a death in the family as well along with post partum depression. I think people thought or think I am sick or get worried because of these two things but like your friend....I found this is one thing I can control and it has helped with my depression. Excerise is one of the best meds for depression.

Now that I have heard so many of your stories, I feel like I am armed with whatever comes my way. Sometimes I need to be just as rude back, sarcastic, or just straight up ignore them. My close family thinks I look great and I feel great so screw the rest of them.

DavidCHobby

a) FWIW, you look great. And I'll bet that, physically, at least, you feel great. Don't worry about what other people think. Enjoy your success.

b) I got a $20 bill for the first person who asks me if I am anorexic. (And before anyone tries to claim it here, I mean *in person*.)

dussaghun

I have people say this to me all the time. Even though I am at the top of my normal BMI. I have just started saying to these people you didn't say anything to me when I was to fat. That either makes them laugh or they say nothing. But, they get the point.

JustLindaLou

It is all very very irritating, however when you get to know someone at your original weight that's how they know you..

I got asked if I had an eating disorder, I replied "yes I did, now I don't"

^^^^ love this!!!!! Great response.

happyfeetrebel1

I think I can give you some perspective on this from the other side. I have two friends who lost a bunch of weight. The first one, lost it fairly quickly and it was so shocking to see how thin she was that several people (myself included) thought she looked sick because she looked so different and her skin hadn't caught up with her new weight. She has pretty much kept that off now for going on 4 years and she looks "normal" to us now. The other woman did kinda the same you did-cut out drinking and she also started working out like the cardio queen and dropped a lot of weight. I had people asking me if she was sick, was she anorexic, what was she doing etc. I approached her one day and said 'I'm pretty sure I know the answer to this, but this is what I'm hearing" and told her about the sick comments. (For what it's worth, both of these women are older than you so that lovely skin sag didn't help either one of them).

As we all know, it can be very hard to lose weight and even harder to keep it off. When you lose a bunch of weight it shocks their sense of the "you" they know. Sadly, the first thing a lot of folks think is "she's sick" since we all have known many people like that. While it is incredibly rude to ask you if you are anorexic, it's probably just shock at how small you are now and they aren't used to it. I'd be willing to bet it's folks who haven't seen you regularly during your weight loss making these comments.

I think you look amazing and great job on losing that much weight. Dang, that's impressive! Please don't let them discourage you and if you can, try and laugh it off when they ask you those questions. I'm sure for most of them, it's coming from a place of concern and they just aren't expressing themselves well.

You said this very well...exactly what I would have tried to say, but much more eloquently

I don't think it's jealousy, I just think people get used to seeing a certain thing and when it changes, they aren't used to it.

Grnhouse

Don't let it get you down. Haters. LOL! I get the same question and I weight 20 lbs more than you. I've learned to just ignore the questions and/or rude comments. Instead talk about how happy you are and how great and healthy life choices are a way of life for you. I bet they stop. It has worked with one of my friends and now she doesn't even mention my size or anyone else's for that matter. LOL! As long as you are healthy and like your size that is all that matters.

danne32339

I work with all guys, so when one sees me, that i haven't seen in a while, the common, yet not so PC question is "Did you get AIDS or something?"...............to which i generally respond "Yes, from your mother."

might not work in your situation, but that works well for me.

This reply made me laugh so hard. Probably because it sounds like something I would say. But seriously, I agree with everyone else. I would pointedly change the subject.
Good luck. :flowerforyou:

LorinaLynn

When I was young and skinny, I'd hear "get that girl a cheeseburger" comments a lot. Now I'm starting to get them again. And you know what? I don't care.

I have four older brothers. And I was an uber-dweeb in high school. I know what getting picked on feels like. And I know what good-natured, well-meaning ribbing feels like. (And if it was from my brothers, it was a mixture of both.) If I'm genuinely getting picked on, I think, "What an *kitten*," and let it go. If it's all in fun, I laugh it off.

Most people I see regularly also "see" me on Facebook. They see my blog posts. I talk about what I did to lose weight, how I eat, how I'm maintaining. It's no secret.

Avandel

Are you anorexic?"

I don't even know how to react to this. Any of the people who say this 9 times out of 10 are smaller than I am. The anorexic question comes when I tell them that I count calories.

So how would you feel? What would you say to these people? How would you overcome?

My response to these people would be "No, I'm not anorexic, are you?" "What do you think of this weather we're having?":bigsmile:

Gardengail

When people would ask my MIL her age she would say, "I promise to forgive you for asking if you promise to forgive me for not answering." Its a statement that could apply to other situations.

bobie1978

People are use to seeing you at a heavier weight.. that is probably why.. change doesn't really sink in for a little bit. When I was at my smallest I was accused of the same things.. plus many other things.. I am 5ft and my lowest was 115. I still wore a size 6 pants. So that is not unhealthy that is about normal. You look healthy don't worry about what people think!

j1wright

You guys are all wonderful!!!! I feel so much better. I was feeling pretty bummed.

Yes, most of my friends and all co-workers and anyone that I run into in this city would only know me as being heavier. Blowing it off as we speak and now have some great comebacks becasue of all of you.