Plus Size Self Esteem
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One thing I can say, is when i am at my goal weight, I will not be sitting back, telling everyone else who is overweight how gross and sad they are as human beings.
I don't get how some people end up being that way.
High five, bitty! High.. mother lovin'... five.0 -
You all keep going on being happy with yourself. Much luck to you. I prefer the method that takes me to true health. You can get angry with me all you like...but you're really angry with yourself.
How do you get that we all hate ourselves and are angry with ourselves and that we won't have any luck in trying to get fit (cuz we're all currently logged in to MFP right now) just because we are happy human beings, regardless of our weight? Your logic makes no sense. Maybe YOU hated yourself fat, but I've never hated myself, so I'm just going to chalk this up to the fact that we're all different, and you simply can't understand someone being overweight and happy because you weren't. Agree to disagree.0 -
I just want to say thank you to the people who are trying to keep this forum positive.
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^^^^One thing I can say, is when i am at my goal weight, I will not be sitting back, telling everyone else who is overweight how gross and sad they are as human beings.
I don't get how some people end up being that way.
High five, bitty! High.. mother lovin'... five.
For the record I said no such thing, but it is telling that by saying I dont like the word plus size or feeling sorry gets turned into that.
"If u r plus sized and happy with yourself....I feel sorry for you. ".. yes, this quote makes me feel.. or gives me the impression, that its SAD that they are happy with themselves.. or loves themselves...
It seems to me that you're categorizing all plus sized people in this box that should be filled with depressing thoughts and self-hate. That even if they are overweight, that's ALL they have going for them. Weight is really not everything...Maybe they're happy with themselves for graduating college, for getting a new job, for getting over an illness...Maybe when you were 341 pounds, you were disgusted by yourself and had the lowest amount of self-esteem and couldn't get past the fact that you were overweight/obese. But some people who are plus sized don't feel sorry for themselves because they don't let their weight define who they are. This is not saying, however, that being overweight is a good thing..because it isn't the best thing to harm your body by feeding it the wrong things...HOWEVER, that isn't the end of them, the end of their self-esteem. To be able to feel beautiful at any size is a challenge. And to the individuals who can do this whole..happiness thing, it's nice to see.0 -
You all keep going on being happy with yourself. Much luck to you. I prefer the method that takes me to true health. You can get angry with me all you like...but you're really angry with yourself.
I think most people are angry at you for interloping on a thread. Also, "true health" is not just physical health, but, also, mental and spirtual health. How is that going for you? You seem very angry.
Yes I am quite angry...WHAT????....
Yes, I think it takes a very angry person to take a crap on someone's self-esteem thread just because you happen to disagree that plus-sized people can feel good about themselves. Not only does that seem angry, but self-righteous and unkind.
Well my apologies to anyone I offended, but my advice is all the feel goody cr@p is a waste of time. Do the work.
Why do you think we joined MFP to begin with? Lol. Work doing!0 -
You all keep going on being happy with yourself. Much luck to you. I prefer the method that takes me to true health. You can get angry with me all you like...but you're really angry with yourself.
I think most people are angry at you for interloping on a thread. Also, "true health" is not just physical health, but, also, mental and spirtual health. How is that going for you? You seem very angry.
Yes I am quite angry...WHAT????....
Yes, I think it takes a very angry person to take a crap on someone's self-esteem thread just because you happen to disagree that plus-sized people can feel good about themselves. Not only does that seem angry, but self-righteous and unkind.
Well my apologies to anyone I offended, but my advice is all the feel goody cr@p is a waste of time. Do the work.
This is the part I don't get...we're all here, and from the looks of most of the comments that I've read, we're all "doing the work." It's been gettin' done.
You beat me!0 -
You all keep going on being happy with yourself. Much luck to you. I prefer the method that takes me to true health. You can get angry with me all you like...but you're really angry with yourself.
I think most people are angry at you for interloping on a thread. Also, "true health" is not just physical health, but, also, mental and spirtual health. How is that going for you? You seem very angry.
Yes I am quite angry...WHAT????....
Yes, I think it takes a very angry person to take a crap on someone's self-esteem thread just because you happen to disagree that plus-sized people can feel good about themselves. Not only does that seem angry, but self-righteous and unkind.
Well my apologies to anyone I offended, but my advice is all the feel goody cr@p is a waste of time. Do the work.
But that's just it...people ARE doing the work AND still don't see the need to hate themselves along the way. "Self-hatred is not equal to tough love". THat's what got you to your goal weight, but that's not how others roll.0 -
_Wits_, you're awesome! 0
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precisely.You all keep going on being happy with yourself. Much luck to you. I prefer the method that takes me to true health. You can get angry with me all you like...but you're really angry with yourself.
I think most people are angry at you for interloping on a thread. Also, "true health" is not just physical health, but, also, mental and spirtual health. How is that going for you? You seem very angry.
Yes I am quite angry...WHAT????....
Yes, I think it takes a very angry person to take a crap on someone's self-esteem thread just because you happen to disagree that plus-sized people can feel good about themselves. Not only does that seem angry, but self-righteous and unkind.
Well my apologies to anyone I offended, but my advice is all the feel goody cr@p is a waste of time. Do the work.
But that's just it...people ARE doing the work AND still don't see the need to hate themselves along the way. "Self-hatred is not equal to tough love". THat's what got you to your goal weight, but that's not how others roll.0 -
I got to roll with Lone_wolf on this one I think what he said got a little twisted, when I was 300lbs i was the life of the party, always keep people laughing alway upbeat and positive, but deep down inside I was not happy with the way I looked, We can sugar coat this all we want, but we all know when we lose weight and when we can get into smaller sizes we feel better, what some men think ( and they are Idiots) is that plus size women are easy lays because they have low self esteem and they are just glad that someone showed them some attention...No matter what your size is sometimes we all have self esteem issuesOne thing I can say, is when i am at my goal weight, I will not be sitting back, telling everyone else who is overweight how gross and sad they are as human beings.
I don't get how some people end up being that way.
High five, bitty! High.. mother lovin'... five.
For the record I said no such thing, but it is telling that by saying I dont like the word plus size or feeling sorry gets turned into that.0 -
You all keep going on being happy with yourself. Much luck to you. I prefer the method that takes me to true health. You can get angry with me all you like...but you're really angry with yourself.
I think most people are angry at you for interloping on a thread. Also, "true health" is not just physical health, but, also, mental and spirtual health. How is that going for you? You seem very angry.
Yes I am quite angry...WHAT????....
Yes, I think it takes a very angry person to take a crap on someone's self-esteem thread just because you happen to disagree that plus-sized people can feel good about themselves. Not only does that seem angry, but self-righteous and unkind.
Well my apologies to anyone I offended, but my advice is all the feel goody cr@p is a waste of time. Do the work.
But that's just it...people ARE doing the work AND still don't see the need to hate themselves along the way. "Self-hatred is not equal to tough love". THat's what got you to your goal weight, but that's not how others roll.0 -
As somebody else said, self esteem =/= complacent. I'm not complacent about being a fat *kitten*, but that also doesn't mean that I should just stay inside all the time because I'm so embarrassed by how I look. I have self esteem because I love myself, and because I love myself, I'm trying to make myself better.
Let the MFP church say AMEN!!!!!
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""Self-hatred is not equal to tough love". THat's what got you to your goal weight, but that's not how others roll."
Exactly.0 -
For the past four months I have been doing a hell of a lot work. Are you suggesting I not feel confident until I reach an acceptable non-fat size? Is that when it will be ok for me to love myself? Am I still a lazy self-hating person when i jog my *kitten* all over my neighborhood? Or am I only that when standing still?0
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I'm a dude and here are my thoughts on this whole sexy woman thing...
Sexy is not a size, shape, color, or piece of clothing.
Sexy is an inner attitude that is reflected outwardly to others.
It's an attitude that can be dialed up or down at will once you know how to use it.
And when you're using it right... you will be sexy and EVERYONE will know it!
Are you single??? :laugh:
That is exactly our point. Well said sir!0 -
Only thing I am unhappy about is all the skin on my belly.. *kitten* looks like an old ladies *kitten*!!!!0
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Because a lot of us have low self esteem. It's a stereotype that I fulfill, sadly. Even after losing 70ish pounds, I still feel like the unattractive fat girl I used to be some days. I'm getting better but I struggle with those "down days." I still have 37 pounds to go until I hit my first goal so I gotta push through the sadness and not reach for the chocolate. 0
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I'm a dude and here are my thoughts on this whole sexy woman thing...
Sexy is not a size, shape, color, or piece of clothing.
Sexy is an inner attitude that is reflected outwardly to others.
It's an attitude that can be dialed up or down at will once you know how to use it.
And when you're using it right... you will be sexy and EVERYONE will know it!
Are you single??? :laugh:
That is exactly our point. Well said sir!
I saw him first! :laugh:0 -
I on the other hand choose to love myself and KEEP happy through my journey to a healthy weight and when I do reach it I will be even more happy that I kept such a positive attitude throughout that journey.
So what happens if you don't reach that goal? You're gonna beat yourself down? As a psych minor, I would be much more concerned for your mental well being than your weight, if that is the case.0 -
For me, self-esteem is not drawn from ones appearance alone. If you base your self-worth/esteem on only your looks then I believe the future will be a rough one. No matter what size you are, you can absolutely have a great self-esteem.
All sizes of people can draw self-esteem from beauty (as it is in the eyes of the beholder), intelligence, integrity, trustworthiness, loyalty, and all the other positive traits you possess.
On another note, self-esteem comes from within (*self*) not from other people. Please keep that in mind when you are reading negative posts.0 -
I guess I don't understand the thought process behind loving oneself but doing bad things to yourself by not being healthy. That is an oxymoron IMO. If one truly loved oneself, they would never get to the point of slowly killing themselves by not exercising and eating more bad foods than good.
Being plus sized doesn't always correlate with health, though. I know size 10's and 12's that look smaller than me (usually a 6-8 when not pregnant, 5'7")
10 and 12 are not plus-sized.0 -
I guess I don't understand the thought process behind loving oneself but doing bad things to yourself by not being healthy. That is an oxymoron IMO. If one truly loved oneself, they would never get to the point of slowly killing themselves by not exercising and eating more bad foods than good.
Being plus sized doesn't always correlate with health, though. I know size 10's and 12's that look smaller than me (usually a 6-8 when not pregnant, 5'7")
10 and 12 are not plus-sized.
I should have clarified, agreed...they are not. I mainly meant sizes don't always paint the correct picture. I know a size 16 girl who is tall, curvy, and very gorgeous and you would never, ever lump her into the plus size category on looks alone.0 -
I guess I don't understand the thought process behind loving oneself but doing bad things to yourself by not being healthy. That is an oxymoron IMO. If one truly loved oneself, they would never get to the point of slowly killing themselves by not exercising and eating more bad foods than good.
Being plus sized doesn't always correlate with health, though. I know size 10's and 12's that look smaller than me (usually a 6-8 when not pregnant, 5'7")
10 and 12 are not plus-sized.
I should have clarified, agreed...they are not. I mainly meant sizes don't always paint the correct picture. I know a size 16 girl who is tall, curvy, and very gorgeous and you would never, ever lump her into the plus size category on looks alone.
Where you carry weight makes a difference. I think apple shapes probably show excess weight the most because it's all in the tummy and back. Then pears show a lot in the hips and rear, but can look a little smaller than they are.
I'm hourglass, so when I was a size 12, I don't think most people would have guessed that was my size. I gain weight very evenly and am always proportional, so it's deceptive. But I'm still that heavy. I'm 5'3" and my heaviest was 166. I was 155 the day I gave birth to my daughter, to put that in perspective. So at 166, if all that weight was in my tummy, you'd really notice it. But since it was evenly distributed, I looked much different and probably wore a smaller size than someone who carries it in the tummy would because that person would have to wear a size that fit around the largest part of her body.
I'm hovering between 152 and 155 now and people keep describing me as "so tiny." I am NOT so tiny! lol I just carry well and can dress to hide a lot of my flaws. I can see how many people, especially if they've always been larger, might mistake a proportional figure for not being as large as they really are.
The BMI range is quite large and I think it does accommodate frame size and muscle mass for the most part. I mean, I can be between 103 and 141 and be a healthy BMI. But I have a small frame, so I'm aiming for the lower end. At 132 pounds, while I looked great in clothes, I definitely had at least 15 pounds to lose to be where I wanted (maybe more). I think there are a few exceptions who will have a healthy body fat at above the BMI, but those would be people who seriously work for that kind of muscle mass and not the general population.
I've witnessed so many people insist that if they got to the high end of their BMI range, they would "look skeletal." But when they got there, they did not look skeletal and even continued losing and looked really good. Their doctors agreed with them before they actually reached that weight.
There is no way a person can know what she'll look like at a weight she's never been. People who have always been heavy hear a number and think, "That's too skinny," and decide they don't want to be that weight. Most change their minds once they reach it, though.0 -
I don't seem to recall reading anyone saying they're 'happy' being fat, or they wouldn't really be here.
They're happy with themselves or confident in themselves as a person.
I would believe that most people on this site are trying to lose weight so they're obviously trying to do something to change it.
I'm confident and happy, and yeah I'm fat.
Being confident and happy is what is pushing me to better myself and be ever better!
So please feel free not to feel sorry for me being plus sized sweetheart.0 -
i think some people assume that. when i told a coworker about my must-have list for a potential date she responded with "wow you actually have standards!" LOL AS IF I WASNT GOING TO?0
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When I was plus-sized I stole quite a few men from the skinny girls! LOL But seriously, I have always had a great self-esteem at every size. I wasn't miserable, I wasn't ostracized or mistreated. I had a great social life, still wore beautiful clothes and kept myself look great, as well as feeling great. I never let my size be a factor for anything. I had health issues w/ my weight and I wanted to have a wider variety of fashion options which drove me to lose weight, but I was never a miserable heavy person.0
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I am not going to lie... I don't think poorly of myself. Most days I feel very pretty, in fact lol. Just because you're big doesn't mean you're ugly (and think you are ugly) and just because you're small doesn't mean you're pretty (and think you're pretty).0
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking highly of yourself...
I agree with this, I also agree that being healthy trumps being big or skinny!
I agree with both of these, however I DON'T think highly of myself, AT ALL
Annnddd, healthy looks different on everyone. (:0 -
I guess I don't understand the thought process behind loving oneself but doing bad things to yourself by not being healthy. That is an oxymoron IMO. If one truly loved oneself, they would never get to the point of slowly killing themselves by not exercising and eating more bad foods than good.
You know it's comments like this that make me just plain mad! You know not everyone was made to be a stick figure, everyone has different shapes and sizes. Who are you to say what a person should or should not look like or say that if a person is heavy set they don't love themselves. I know INCLUDING ME a lot of chunkier people who eat healthy and exercise. Plus come on now, you've never had a piece of cake once in awhile.... yea that's what I thought! I happen to love who I am and what kind of person I am... am I happy with my weight? No but guess what I'm working on it! Besides if you weren't working on it too why are you even on this site! I found your comment COMPLETELY offensive!0 -
*laughs*
Because us fatties are SUPPOSED to have low self esteem. If we don't, how the hell are they going to sell the next diet pill, makeup product, spanx product, etc etc etc.
Poor self-image is what drives a million industries in the world today. It's sad, but true.
I'm a big gal, bigger than I've ever been... and y'know... even though I'm working on losing weight, I'm okay with that. I love me. I'm beautiful. I'm intelligent. I don't NEED someone else's validation. I've got my own. *shrugs* I am a death-knell to capitalism. I am the antidote to the toxicity that hollywood, magazines, the diet industry, etc, spews.
*shrugs* I'm good.0
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