Parents and Birthday Parties... WTF
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Hell no. I was shocked I have an 11 year old boy and would never just leave my kid with someone I don't know. :noway:
at 11 I was catching the bus across the city by myself to go to football practice.
Unfortunately... things aren't as they used to be:(( It's very sad. I grew up in a time where we were locked out of our house in the summer until my Mom came home for lunch and then home for the evening. We made our own fun and we were our own babysitters.
You just can't do that kind of stuff anymore.
Why not?
The rate of kidnappings and other crap is down dramatically over the past 10-20 years. Check the stats out with your local police, most likely things are actually more safe now then ever.
The media just posts more stuff about this, but it is actually happening less frequently. Check out the book "free range children" great read.0 -
At my 6 year old's party at the pool, the only parents that stayed were the ones I specifically asked to stay to help. It has been that way for all the birthday parties. Granted, we all know each other pretty well, but unless your invitations asked the parents to stay, that is pretty expected that they won't.
If you know the parents, that's a totally different scenario, I'd never met the parents in my life, and they were just like "peace out"...0 -
IMO I have better things to do than attend some kid's birthday party for a few hours especiially in a place like Chuck E Cheese and especially on a weekend.
I think you should have made it clear that you expected parents to stay. Maybe for 2 years old but at 9 I would anticipate that I was not expected to stay.0 -
I dont get it either! I am the total opposite and I am sure parents out there write these kinds of posts about me, but that I am psycho about leaving my kid and know what they are doing! I can not imagine leaving my kids places and with people I know nothing about. My kids are my life and my priority. Oh yeah and the RSVP thing drives me up the wall!! I can not stand it that people do not feel the need to let somone knoe if they are coming or not. UGH!0
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Hell no. I was shocked I have an 11 year old boy and would never just leave my kid with someone I don't know. :noway:
at 11 I was catching the bus across the city by myself to go to football practice.
Unfortunately... things aren't as they used to be:(( It's very sad. I grew up in a time where we were locked out of our house in the summer until my Mom came home for lunch and then home for the evening. We made our own fun and we were our own babysitters.
You just can't do that kind of stuff anymore.
Why not?
The rate of kidnappings and other crap is down dramatically over the past 10-20 years. Check the stats out with your local police, most likely things are actually more safe now then ever.
The media just posts more stuff about this, but it is actually happening less frequently. Check out the book "free range children" great read.
This is obviously a "fight" not to have. Have a fantastic day.0 -
You need to specify that the invitation is for the parent and child if the parent is expected to stay. Also, be prepared for people to decline if you expect the parent to stay and you are not inviting the entire family.0
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edit for double post0
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I have never been to a birthday party for kids where the parents actually attended. The party is for the kids, not the parents, and they know their kid is with other kids and being supervised, no need for them to be there at all.
Way too many helicopter parents now a days.
^^^ this. Now if my child was 5, yea, I would probably hang around. I certainly would have introduced myself to you and told you that I didn't plan on hanging around and I would have let you know when I was there to pick up my child so that you would know he was leaving. But I totally agree - too many helicopter parents. My 9 yo rides all over our neighborhood with his friends, as long as I know where I can find him when I need him, that's all that matters.0 -
I don’t leave my kids alone at Parent Purgatory (a.k.a. Chuck E. Cheese) or anywhere else for that matter. If they’re invited to a party, I’m not just going to drop them off & leave…even if I know the other parents well. Do I police my kids at every turn in these places? No…they can run free. I guess maybe I’ve seen one too many episodes of “Criminal Minds”; but there’s just too much that can happen to make me comfortable just bailing on my munchkins.0
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I work with law enforcement and YOU NEVER WANT TO LEAVE YOUR CHILD with a stranger or someplace assuming it's safe. There are a lot of creeps who prey on the one kid who isn't being watched .....at yes...a public place with lots of people. C'mon people...don't you watch the news? This covers the safety of the child...now for manners..you don't show up to a kid's party and assume it's for the parent AND the siblings of the invited kid unless it specifically states it on the invitation. Jeez.....:grumble:0
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My daughter is going on 4...and even if I was insane enough to do this...I can see my husband kicking my *kitten* for leaving his princess with someone we didn't know regardless of her age!
I wouldn't hover...that's for sure...but she would be within eyesight. That's my little girl and too many people out there (male and female) that need a little extra attention (from the feds).0 -
I think this is crazy!! I could never imagine doing it myself. I went to my neice's 7th birthday party where about 10 of her school friends were invited....every single parent left the party..they just dropped them off and verified the time the party ended. I think this is just so rude!!0
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I can't speak for everywhere but in my area, that's pretty typical for parties at about that age. Parents don't usually stick around at a birthday party unless it's for really young kids.
Same around here. My son turned 6 in June and this is the first year I haven't been to birthday parties with him. Same with the kids who came to HIS party...they were dropped off and picked up.0 -
Honestly, I think it's just rude for any parent to assume you are going to watch over their kid unless you expressly said you would do so. If you are going to leave your child with another parent, the courteous thing to do would be to introduce yourself make sure it's ok to leave your child and leave your cell number in case of an emergency.
I would never just leave my kids with someone (especially someone I didn't know) unless they agreed to watch and be responsible for them. That's just bad parenting.0 -
My daughter is 9 and I have NEVER dropped her off at a party and not stayed. I just don't feel comfortable doing that.
We threw my daughter a pool party at her grandmother's house one year and , get this, one parent dropped off her daugher (same age as my daughter) and her son that wasn't even in grade school yet and couldn't even swim!!!! That was a total WTF moment!
I don't get the way some parents think.0 -
It's all part of the ME NOW society that we live in now. Heaven forbid that parents sacrifice their own time to do something for their children. My husband and I have been involved in youth sports for many years and parent involvement is getting less and less. Parents will not sacrifice college football Saturday to spend a few hours watching their child. It makes me very sad. They are only children for a short time. Enjoy them and cherish every moment. BE A PARENT!!0
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Not a birthday thing but along the lines of unconcerned parents: I recently completed my student teaching at an elementary school. I live in the same area as the school so occasionally I see some of the students around town. I was a music student teacher and only saw the kids once a week for 7 weeks so I didn't have any contact with parents. I was at home depot and two students came up to me to hug me. Their mom was on her cell phone and didn't even turn around. I was thinking- your kids (age 7) just hugged someone who is a complete stranger to you and you don't even look??? Seriously?0
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Oh...I wanted to add this...
Perfect example of why not to just drop off your child: we were at birthday party for one of my son’s friends a few months ago. It was at a park nearby his friend’s apt. One of the other kids was dropped off by his dad & the dad just bailed. Well, fast forward a couple of hours…the party was over & the birthday boy’s mom wanted to pack up & go home. The dropped off kid’s dad was nowhere to be found; no one had a phone # for him or anything. She had to stick around at the park & wait for him to show up.0 -
Chuck E Cheese parties, at least in my circle of the world, are "drop and RUN" parties. As for leaving the kid with an adult I hadn't met. . . 9 is kinda borderline for me. I have 5 kids ages 6-21. . .I've been down this road MANY times. I'll leave the 6 year old at the Chuck with people I know, but I'll hang out (not attend the party) with folks I don't. By 9, they all know the rules and what you do and don't do at the Chuck. I'd leave them.
But, I'm the complete antithesis of a helicopter parent. I want my kids to be grown and independent. I don't think giving them some room to roam is a bad thing. I'm careful, but not over protective. It's a fine line. I've gotten better as the kids have gotten older. Call me crazy but I can't live expecting the absolute worst from every single person on the planet and trying to outwit them or mitigate the potential for any and every harm.0 -
It's all part of the ME NOW society that we live in now. Heaven forbid that parents sacrifice their own time to do something for their children. My husband and I have been involved in youth sports for many years and parent involvement is getting less and less. Parents will not sacrifice college football Saturday to spend a few hours watching their child. It makes me very sad. They are only children for a short time. Enjoy them and cherish every moment. BE A PARENT!!
I think it is the opposite now. In the 60s-80s, parents didn't watch their kids every movement and now you get parents arguing with teachers over bad marks, instead of getting upset with the kid.0 -
never mind0
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I can't conclusively say one way or the other what I'd have done. But really... I guess I'm not as terrified of bad things happening. I don't want to raise my kids to be paranoid or afraid of strangers, or suspicious that everyone could be a potentially terrible person. I'm not saying your kids will be that way, but I fear my own would turn out that way if I was as worried as some of the people I know.
I'd likely have stopped, talked with you for a few minutes to make sure you didn't give me any creepo vibes, and made sure it was alright with you before I left and what time you'd like me back.0 -
I have never been to a birthday party for kids where the parents actually attended. The party is for the kids, not the parents, and they know their kid is with other kids and being supervised, no need for them to be there at all.
Way too many helicopter parents now a days.
I dont have children but i have been around enough and watched enough. If the parent does not know the others and just leaves is not responsible. You dont know anything about the person your dropping your child off with. Hypothetically talking... what happens if a kid goes missing? Then what do you have to say for yourself. There is nothing wrong with a parent staying at a party for kids. Kids will go play with kids and parents can chill with parents and talk until its over.0 -
Do you go to school with your child and sit in the back of the room because the teacher might be psycho or they might run off and get kidnapped during recess? Do you go with them and stay when they go over a friends house to play?
Yes "times are different" now days however it's ridiculous to live your life running the "worst case scenarios" around your head and not giving your kids some freedom. I don't consider the parents of those who dropped the kids off and left to be irresponsible.0 -
Before I had kids I was a nanny for the daughters of a surgeon I worked for. One day I had to take them to a friend's birthday party. The girls were about 7 and 11 at the time. The party was for the child of a dentist friend of theirs, whose kids I had babysat a couple of times. It never crossed my mind to leave the party. It just didn't seem appropriate.
My kids are still little, so I'd never leave them anywhere. As they get older, I don't know how things will go. I know I won't be sticking around when my kids are 12, and in a few years I might not stay if the party is adequately supervised and is at someone's home, and the host doesn't expect parents to stay. But, if it's in a public place, I don't think I'll be too comfortable just leaving my kids.0 -
It's all part of the ME NOW society that we live in now. Heaven forbid that parents sacrifice their own time to do something for their children. My husband and I have been involved in youth sports for many years and parent involvement is getting less and less. Parents will not sacrifice college football Saturday to spend a few hours watching their child. It makes me very sad. They are only children for a short time. Enjoy them and cherish every moment. BE A PARENT!!
What would you suggest if a parent of more that one child should do if only one of the kids is invited to a party?
If they drop off the kid at the party and take the others to swimming or the park or whatver is that being selfish?0 -
I got the same thing last year for my son's birthday (Keep in mind, these were THREE year olds!)
We invited pretty much everyone from his school/daycare. So, we didn't really know any of the parents. One of the moms showed up at the door, didn't introduce herself, handed me a bday gift for my son, scooted her daughter into my door and said, "so, the party should last about 2 hours?". I said yes and and she said, "ok, I'll be back then". And she left! WTF? I didn't even know her name! She didn't leave a phone number or anything. She just dropped her 3 year old at a total stranger's house and left! :noway: :noway:0 -
I don't think you're overreacting. I would not just leave my children with random people I didn't know. I agree... What is wrong with people now? Do you not watch the news? Do you not realize how many psychos are out there?? I ask myself this all the time as I watch 3 and 4yr olds outside playing ALONE no parent insight close to streets. Gah! Open your eyes people! I may not be a psycho, but you don't know that!!! LOL Now, if my kids were older and I knew the parents, I wouldn't mind dipping out, but I'd definitely let the parent know ahead of time what my plans were just so it was ok to leave my child with them. My kiddos are 3 and 6. Every party so far, parents stuck around and I was happy with that.
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It's all part of the ME NOW society that we live in now. Heaven forbid that parents sacrifice their own time to do something for their children. My husband and I have been involved in youth sports for many years and parent involvement is getting less and less. Parents will not sacrifice college football Saturday to spend a few hours watching their child. It makes me very sad. They are only children for a short time. Enjoy them and cherish every moment. BE A PARENT!!
What would you suggest if a parent of more that one child should do if only one of the kids is invited to a party?
If they drop off the kid at the party and take the others to swimming or the park or whatver is that being selfish?
I usually ask the party kid's parent if I can bring my other child along...most parents don't usually have a problem with that.0
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