Weirdos at the gym. Ladies?

julieh391

The other day at the gym there was a creepy guy staring at all the girls and making way too much icky eye contact. I thought about mentioning it to one of the guys at the desk, but I didn't want to make a big deal if he was just a social weirdo. I got a really icky vibe being around him. What do you do when someone at the gym gives you heebie jeebies?

julieh391

I remember that he has paid just as much as you have to be there and he can do what he wants with his membership.

Then I also realize I'm there to work out and not worry about what others are doing, get over yourself and focus on the task at hand.

Of course this is coming from a guy who has zero idea what it feels like to worry about your safety even a tiny bit. Thanks for the awesome advice, buddy.

DopeItUp

When confronted by a weirdo I just force myself to stop looking in the mirror.

Angie__1MR

If they are being super creepy, I ask them if they have a problem. If they are just staring, I stare back at them until they look away. There, problem solved.

julieh391

I remember that he has paid just as much as you have to be there and he can do what he wants with his membership.

Then I also realize I'm there to work out and not worry about what others are doing, get over yourself and focus on the task at hand.

Of course this is coming from a guy who has zero idea what it feels like to worry about your safety even a tiny bit. Thanks for the awesome advice, buddy.

Oh yeah cause I live in the safest neighborhood ever, women and gay guys commit rape as well, again get over yourself.

You're a real gem. Later.

mrykyldy2

I have mentioned things like that to the management of my gym. They can deal with the wierdo's. I have also reported people for spitting on floor of the pool area and the woman that felt the need to bath herself in perfume before coming to the gym.

rhondab03

I swear some people can be so rude on here....****. Anyhoo, I'd do the same thing the other person said, I'd just look back until they looked away. But if it didn't stop I'd have to say something like "excuse me, but is there a reason you keep staring at me? Do I know you or something?" If you really get strange vibes from him though, like you are actually worried about it, just kind of keep your eye on him. Make sure you don't walk out to your car alone or anything. Be safe.

Angie__1MR

I have mentioned things like that to the management of my gym. They can deal with the wierdo's. I have also reported people for spitting on floor of the pool area and the woman that felt the need to bath herself in perfume before coming to the gym.

Perfume in the gym drives me NUTS!! I would rather smell sweat.

stephyy4632

if its just them stairing I don`t worry about it and get on with my workout if they actualy get up and fallow you around thats another story then I ask one of the trainers to hang with me until creepy gets lost or have them walk you out to your car ( I haven`t had any that serious though normaly having one of the male trainers with you even for a few min will get rid of them )

LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo

I remember that he has paid just as much as you have to be there and he can do what he wants with his membership.

Then I also realize I'm there to work out and not worry about what others are doing, get over yourself and focus on the task at hand.

THIS! (coming from a woman)

LizL217

I remember that he has paid just as much as you have to be there and he can do what he wants with his membership.

Then I also realize I'm there to work out and not worry about what others are doing, get over yourself and focus on the task at hand.

Of course this is coming from a guy who has zero idea what it feels like to worry about your safety even a tiny bit. Thanks for the awesome advice, buddy.

Oh yeah cause I live in the safest neighborhood ever, women and gay guys commit rape as well, again get over yourself.

Per the U.S. Bureau of Justice, 91% of rape victims are women and 9% are men (including reported prison rapes), so you're not entirely off base, but you're also about 10.1x less likely to be raped as you leave the gym than the average woman. So maybe you don't have "zero idea" but you have a very small idea, relatively speaking, what it feels like to worry about your safety. You also wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant in the event of the theoretical rape, but that's a whole other ball o' wax.

To the OP's question: I would mention it to the front desk or security. It never hurts to say "keep an eye on this guy" because it's not like they're going to escort him out of the building. They'll just make sure he doesn't follow any ladies into the locker room. And as they say, "If you see something, say something".

iWaffle

What do you do when someone at the gym gives you heebie jeebies?

I take my after workout protein shake, drink part of it and then let it ooze out of my mouth like I'm rabid. Then I look them in the eye and say "Come at me bro!"

jynxxxed

I wouldn't personally report him. I'd either stare back giving a dirty look until he stops, or just go up and ask him what he wants and tell him that he's making you (and potentially others) uncomfortable.

I wouldn't report him to somebody else without confronting him first though. He might honestly (somehow) not realize he's doing it.. could just be trying to learn proper form or something.

AmyMalley77

There's a guy at my gym who constantly walks around looking for someone to talk to. Anybody. If you make eye contact with him, he will get on the machine next to you and just talk...and he rambles on and on and a lot of it is conspiracy theory stuff. And then once he is done rambling on with one person, he walks around finding someone else. It's not people he "knows", either. It's anybody.

I can tell he is lonely and he is polite, but um, he's a little strange, and annoying to people. He is "working out", so I think that's probably why management doesn't do anything about it. He works out on whatever machine or weights are closest to his victim at the moment.

So, I always make sure I have my ear buds in when I see him there, even if I don't have music on, so he won't come near me.

TheFunBun

Staring at your booty in spandex doesn't really make someone a creeper.

If he's following you and making nasty tongue at you, that's completely different, and you should report him. If he grabs your booty, you should make a disgusted and indignant sound and slap his face, then report him.

If you're genuinely concerned about your safety, have someone walk you to your car.

penpen96

i tend to stay out of their direct way of eye contact. One time, i talked with my trainer about a creeper, and he said he'd keep an eye on it. I also workout early in the mornings. I find that when i work out in the afternoons or evenings it is like a dating scene sometimes.

ginnettemm

If he is creepy, I would make mgt aware of it. You should be able to workout in peace!!!!!!

hauer01

OMG! I used to belong to the YMCA in our area and we had a guy just like that. He would stare all of the time at all of the girls. After a while he would come over and just start a conversation with them. Usually most would just be polite and give one or two word answers back. Eventually, he made his way to me. I did the same, I was polite and said my one or two words back and went on my way. This went on for years.... Eventually, the convesations got longer and I felt more comfortable around him., I realized that he wasn't crazy, just socially awkward. He is now my very best friend. I have told him that his behavior at the gym was creepy and he shouldn't do that any more, but he ended up being a stand up guy! Who would have thought from all of those aweful, creepy stares.

neilegni

I remember that he has paid just as much as you have to be there and he can do what he wants with his membership.

Then I also realize I'm there to work out and not worry about what others are doing, get over yourself and focus on the task at hand.

I can't believe this misogyny. Leave it to a straight, white guy to tell a woman how to feel with no experience about her own oppression.

To the OP: YES. I feel this way--mostly in the weight room where I'm seen as some sort of anomaly. And Plates is right about one thing: you have paid as much as those ogling guys for your membership, and as such you are a paying customer who deserves to feel safe and comfortable while working out. If there are people giving you problems at the gym, talk to the people who work at the front desk. They get weirdos all the time and know how to handle it. If you feel icky, trust your instincts.

Plates, if you would like to discuss rape and sexual assault statistics further, please first google any reading list for an introduction to gender studies course.

Hnter76

Since when does every one have the right to never be uncomfortable? You get uncomfortable when he looks at you, maybe you were making him uncomfortable wearing something he didn't approve of whatever.. Point is get over it, if he isn't stroking himself in public or following you home, you got nothing.

neilegni

Point is get over it, if he isn't stroking himself in public or following you home, you got nothing.

This is not correct. The man in this situation is creating a hostile environment in this gym by staring at the women--which can be considered unwanted sexual attention depending on the actual gaze. If this woman and the others in the gym are identifying his attention as undesired and "icky" and if they feel unsafe they are more than welcome to complain.

Please read up on Title IX for more information.

Also, (and I apologize for not having a cited source on hand--this evidence is more anecdotal than textbook), sexual harassment starts with unwelcome gazes and attention. As this attention is allowed to continue (as it is when nothing is done about it), it becomes hard to stop the behavior later if it is allowed to escalate because a precedent has been set. You would not believe how often "Well, she didn't stop me when I hit on her first" works in rape cases.

Everyone does have the right to feel comfortable espcially in a venue where they pay to be there. In addition, the whole "well maybe she shouldn't dress this way or that" is completely bogus and is insinuating that men don't have control over their gaze, which is not only a disservice to the character of the male species but also it inserts the whole "blame the victim" discourse when men can and do have control over how they act around women.

It's clear that the men on this thread have no idea about the facts and experiences that shape sexual harassment, rape culture, or the rights of women.