The things people say to bigger people...

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  • krim12
    krim12 Posts: 102
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    My best friend was getting ready to for us to head out the other night and was talking about how the pants she bought that day were a size smaller than her other ones. She stopped talking looked at me and said Oh i bet you dont want to hear about me losing weight............WHAT!!!!!!!!!!! For one, you can wear those pants doesnt mean that you should and two, why wouldnt i be happy for my friend? I was really hurt by that comment.
  • knwitall
    knwitall Posts: 420 Member
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    More cushion for the pushing.
  • wbandel
    wbandel Posts: 530 Member
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    What I don't get is why parents don't control their kids in public. It is bad enough when people stare, or turn to look at my butt as I pass to see how big it is and giggle. But kids who come and poke my butt and run and laugh? And the mom just laughs and looks away? Seriously? It doesn't matter that I am losing, or that I have logged 5 hours in the gym this week, or that I am desperately trying to make healthy choices for just about the first time in my life. This is what happens when I go to the grocery store. Never fails. Even with a cart loaded with veggies and fruit and they may have donuts and frozen pizza. It still kills me that people tend to no longer consider me to be human. Most of the time they act like I deserve it, and I do see their point. I ate the food, it wasn't forced. I have had a lot of issues that lead to the overeating, yes. I was weak. But now that I am making so many changes, why do you still let your kids abuse me in public and never say a word?

    This reminds me of a talk I had with my mother, who is morbidly obese and has been all my life. She was talking about her health deteriorating and talking about how she wished she weighed less (a typical self deprecating comment from her). I stopped her and told her that I'd really like to say something, but I felt that it would just come out wrong. I decided to go ahead and I told her that I think the best thing I've learned from having a mother who is larger is that everyone is a person and has something wonderful about them. I see so many people my age or younger who look rudely at larger individuals or make comments loud enough for them and others to hear! I can't believe how rude some people are. When I catch someone I'm with doing one of those glares or comments I try to give them a glare or comment just as rude. Sometimes I get defensive comments from them like "but did you see her?", but they usually run out of things to say when you ask, "and what's your point? so what?" I don't have kids yet, but I'd be mortified if they treated another person like that, for any reason.
  • oceanbigwater
    oceanbigwater Posts: 100
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    #1 thing i've always heard.......but you've got such a pretty face,,,(akward pause),whatever!!

    I dont know you, so I dont care if I hurt your feelings...

    but you ARE very pretty :)

    LOL I know what you meant by that but it's funny that you claim you don't give a **** about people's feelings unless you know them!!!....damn that's cold baby lol
  • apocalypsepwnie
    apocalypsepwnie Posts: 373
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    What I don't get is why parents don't control their kids in public. It is bad enough when people stare, or turn to look at my butt as I pass to see how big it is and giggle. But kids who come and poke my butt and run and laugh? And the mom just laughs and looks away? Seriously? It doesn't matter that I am losing, or that I have logged 5 hours in the gym this week, or that I am desperately trying to make healthy choices for just about the first time in my life. This is what happens when I go to the grocery store. Never fails. Even with a cart loaded with veggies and fruit and they may have donuts and frozen pizza. It still kills me that people tend to no longer consider me to be human. Most of the time they act like I deserve it, and I do see their point. I ate the food, it wasn't forced. I have had a lot of issues that lead to the overeating, yes. I was weak. But now that I am making so many changes, why do you still let your kids abuse me in public and never say a word?

    This reminds me of a talk I had with my mother, who is morbidly obese and has been all my life. She was talking about her health deteriorating and talking about how she wished she weighed less (a typical self deprecating comment from her). I stopped her and told her that I'd really like to say something, but I felt that it would just come out wrong. I decided to go ahead and I told her that I think the best thing I've learned from having a mother who is larger is that everyone is a person and has something wonderful about them. I see so many people my age or younger who look rudely at larger individuals or make comments loud enough for them and others to hear! I can't believe how rude some people are. When I catch someone I'm with doing one of those glares or comments I try to give them a glare or comment just as rude. Sometimes I get defensive comments from them like "but did you see her?", but they usually run out of things to say when you ask, "and what's your point? so what?" I don't have kids yet, but I'd be mortified if they treated another person like that, for any reason.

    omigosh if my step kids did this they'd be on the naughty spot until their bums turned square!
    FAT is a swear word in our house. We always have big talks about why calling people names is not cool and why making fun of someone because of the way they look makes you look like the worst person in the world. I really really really hate the things kids say in general about bigger people. I was a fat kid and of course I was teased. I don't get many stares in public but I know it could happen and I'm just not aware of it.
    The kids also get big talks on why the way someone looks doesn't effect the person they are inside. If you are going to think means things about them because of the way they look then you might just miss out on a best friend!
  • apocalypsepwnie
    apocalypsepwnie Posts: 373
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    You know what else I hate? My opinion being disregarded because of my weight,.

    A friend was asking on facebook about michelle bridges (the aussie jillian michaels) vs lite 'n' easy (a meal delivery service for weightloss). She yo yos about 5-7 kg every 6 months and eats like **** but eats as much as a 5 year old so doesn't gain too much but always takes it off by going on shake diets.
    She KNOWS how much I hate full shake diet regimes and freely admits that they don't teach her anything and that they aren't a long term solution. Within the 6 months of going off she's gained all that weight back.
    She's only a size 8-10 (6-8 in US sizes) but the weight would be stuffing her metabolism along with the crap dieting.
    So I piped up about MFP and that it's a long term change. I've been doing it for 2 weeks and eating well (I offered her my diary) and that I've been exercising OUTSIDE of my sport which is awesome. I told her she knows what I think of shakes. She should do Michelle Bridges over lite 'n' easy as it will teach her life long changes but because it's a set menu and every meal is cooked it's a pain so she should try MFP.

    I was outwardly disregarded 'Thanks for that but you're overweight so I can't really take your advice'.

    WTF!

    I hate that! I've got a trolley full of great food at the supermarket yet people still comment 'Oh, who's she trying to kid?' eating well doesn't make you thin right away and it's not mutually exclusive for thin people. People at work comment on my good eating and when I give them facts about what I'm eating or what they eat, it's brushed off. I've also had comments like 'Well that's what you eat infront of us' or implying that my diary is good because I cheat. WHAAAT? WHY WASTE MY TIME?!?! particularly when noone really sees it. pfft. I wouldn't bother making healthy work food as a bloody facade.
  • Agator82
    Agator82 Posts: 249 Member
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    Being a guy no one ever said "you have a pretty face". My pet peeve instead has been after I have lost some weight and midway through my goal people say, "It is good you are loosing weight you were looking a bit big" or something to that effect. I understand that they are trying to encourage me to lose weight but then I get irritated that this was something that they thought and never spoke up about before.

    I do feel for people in that they want to compliment or encourage you, but do not know how to do it. I just wish they would learn.
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
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    It really is a catch 22 for people, so I try not to let it bother me. :laugh: I'll admit I did get tired of the "You have such a pretty face" stuff growing up. Then an ex b/f told me (after we broke up and were trying to stay friends) that I'd have a killer figure if I lost the extra weight. Oh, and my soon-to-be-ex-husband telling me that I'm gorgeous, but the weight gets in the way (something to that affect).
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
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    Haha, just remembered this from posting in another thread. I used to sell jewelry and one day this guy comes in to look for something for his wife. Picks out this gorgeous diamond bracelet and then asks me to try it on to see if it fit because his wife is "a big girl like [me]". :grumble: :laugh:
  • sissidevore
    sissidevore Posts: 151 Member
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    how about when your out eating , and your with someone who knows your on a diet and says "should you be eating that?" OMG, i don't think one diet coke will kill my diet. lol

    and i hate the "pretty face" comment. urrg. that goes along with the "great personality" comment
  • pikselinka
    pikselinka Posts: 154 Member
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    When friend/family say "Oh you're beautiful.. You dont really need to lose weight." or "You're so smart and pretty that it doesnt matter what you weigh..its whats on the inside that counts"


    I HATE IT!!!!! Instead of telling me that Id rather hear someone YELL AT ME TO GET OFF MY FAT A** AND EXERCISE.
    Maybe its just me lol

    thoughts?

    I am same, hate it too and prefer someone to tell me to move my *kitten* and do something!
  • KeegMiles
    KeegMiles Posts: 2
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    My personal favorite: When is your baby due?!? I'm like ....... -____-

    OMG! Before I started losing weight someone said this to me- I was in shock...!
    I had a friend/co-irker say this to me. I had two babies 14 months apart. When my youngest was about 6 months old. She said, "Oh wow! You're working on another already?"

    Ouch
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
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    My favorite was when my Mom introduced me to her friends, and one of them said "Oh, I thought you'd be... you know (looking me up and down) smaller... like your Mom."

    I looked her dead in the face and said, "Oh that's okay. I thought you'd be... you know, NICE... like my Mom."

    And fyi, I'm now slimmer than all of them :glasses:
  • jroselive2012
    jroselive2012 Posts: 129
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    I feel frustrated when people tell me I don't need to be losing weight when they are much bigger than me and also trying to lose weight. I may not be in the overweight/ obese category like them, but I have put on 20 lbs in the last year. I DO need to lose weight or even just get toned with weights and cut some body fat. I'm the one who knows that in my closet, I've got loads of clothes that fit me just fine a year ago, and now I can't get them up my hips or buttoned. I dont' have money to go buy all new clothes. I know they don't have bad intentions, but I don't want anybody trying to discourage me from my goals.
  • Onmynewadventure
    Onmynewadventure Posts: 129
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    Two weeks before my RNY Gastric bypass, my BEST friend... Told me that she didn't like the fact that I was having surgery. She didn't want to be be the fat friend. Uhm, babes, your 5'1 and pushing 200lbs, your not the perfect image of fitness!

    I have also heard, many many times, " You have such a pretty face " , " You have a great personality"......

    My favorite thing to do is when someone comes up to you and says " Your fat " or whatever is to jump back, looked shocked and start screaming, " OH MY GOD, I'm FAT!!! Are you serious???? I can't believe it! Thank you so much for telling me!!!"
    The look on their face and their reaction is priceless! :bigsmile:
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
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    My favorite was when my Mom introduced me to her friends, and one of them said "Oh, I thought you'd be... you know (looking me up and down) smaller... like your Mom."

    I looked her dead in the face and said, "Oh that's okay. I thought you'd be... you know, NICE... like my Mom."

    And fyi, I'm now slimmer than all of them :glasses:

    Oh. Em. GEE! :noway: :noway: :noway: How could you say something like that to someone, especially your friend's daughter??
  • apocalypsepwnie
    apocalypsepwnie Posts: 373
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    My favorite thing to do is when someone comes up to you and says " Your fat " or whatever is to jump back, looked shocked and start screaming, " OH MY GOD, I'm FAT!!! Are you serious???? I can't believe it! Thank you so much for telling me!!!"
    The look on their face and their reaction is priceless! :bigsmile:

    bahahahah I do that all the time! 'I was wondering what was wrong with me!'
  • MTBrob
    MTBrob Posts: 513 Member
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    I invite fatter people to my garage gym to work out all the time.. No one ever comes to work out with me..


    For ever a lone...
  • DietCuki
    DietCuki Posts: 44 Member
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    Ugh, every time I go back home to visit "I don't understand why you don't have a boyfriend, you are so smart, great personality and a pretty face, maybe you just need to get in better shape, I'm not saying you're fat, just a little out of shape" say whaaaaaaaaa? I'm a shape, ROUND. Ugh.
  • Ruthe8
    Ruthe8 Posts: 423 Member
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    and i hate the "pretty face" comment. urrg. that goes along with the "great personality" comment
    What do you want people to say? Should they just never give you a compliment until you're skinny?

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