The things people say to bigger people...

pudadough

I have had a few hispanic and black male friends tell me I'm "thick" and they think I'll take it as a compliment, They then get upset when I don't respond positively.

dsckrc

me and my sister have a deal that when one doesn't want to workout, we are allowed to motivate w/mean words - for example "get off your fat *kitten* and come run with me!" or "aren't you going on your Florida vacation next month? want to be mistaken for a whale?" it's all in fun, but in the end, it DOES get us up and moving. good luck on your journey!

by the way, i hate when people tell me "you weren't fat in the first place!" hello??? i was 30lbs overweight. how about "you look great. keep up the good work!" instead?

VorJoshigan

#1 thing i've always heard.......but you've got such a pretty face,,,(akward pause),whatever!!

It's never a good thing when somebody says you have a pretty face - just ask Ned Beatty.

Moyzilla

Ugh, add another vote to the "You'd be gorgeous if you could just lose some weight"

or

When I played sports, hated being called a "big girl" by the (male) coaches. I'm tall so I know that was part of the reference but I cringed every time.

or

You carry your weight so well! I don't care how I carry it, I just want it off!

Claible

The other day I had a co-worker (she is newer to our office and is on another team) see my name badge which shows the picture of me at 128lbs heavier. she proceeds to speak her mind: Her: " OH you have lost a lot of weight recently haven't you I can see it in your picture." Me: "Yes, I have lost 128lbs (usually this is a compliment to me that someone has noticed even if I don't know them well)" Her: "how did you do it?" Me: " I workout, count calories and eat right." Her: "that seems like a lot of work and a pain, I thought you had geriatric surgery or something." Me( as I am walking away not sure if I am insulted or not but, definitely not happy) "That is the cheater's easy way and I don't do anything the easy way."

Nothing like someone needing to learn how to censer themselves. I am still not sure If I am insulted or not. Definitely going to ask for a new picture on my badge.

BTW I just want to add that I am not against people having surgery if it is the best way for you. I was making the easy comment to my co-worker to let her know I didn't appreciate her assumption that because I lost a lot of weight doesn't mean surgery.

xHelloQuincyx

looking at those two kids in your ticker, im glad people are saying positive messages with good self esteem boosters. i watched my mother starve herself growing up. made me think i was worth crap too- even tho no one said bad things about me personally. hearing "do you really need that" turned into an obsession. i believe i would have been fine had people commented on my positive attributes vs 'trying to help'.

VeganDeeva

I get that a lot. I have a big butt so ppl always tell me "Girl don't lose that butt"...or "don't get to small you look good the way you are"... lolol....ppl associate weight loss with vanity and not your over all health so they tend to say things like that.....lol they mean well :-)

seed_of_wonder

wow, i had two tabs open, one with this thread and one titled 'does the person above you need to change their avatar' or something along those lines... and i thought i was still on the avatar thread. little did i know i switched tabs. i thought people were saying that the person above them looked pregnant and made them feel ill... i was shocked at how rude everyone was being but then my brain kicked in and i realized what i had done. :noway:

Geni_B

Before you know it they will be telling you not to lose any more weight, even though you haven't reached your goal.

I managed to silence once cousin by replying that I would stop when I was as slim as she was ( we are similar in height).

That's what I get now, they tell me I am getting too little even though I still need to loose at least ten more pounds to be at a healthy weight. What's up with that? Or, that I am starting to look too old. May be in their own way they are trying to be nice.

red051683

You're soo photogenic. You have such a beautiful face & smile ......

I've been saying since I was young the following:

"i want to have a great *kitten*, a great body, turn heads, be respected and not looked down at... "EFF" pretty smiles "


this may sound negative... i've gotten past this as an adult... but there's a teensy little girl in there who still wants to be just as hot as hell- because I know i'm more then just a pretty face & smile.

HurricaneElaine

Ugh, I have family on total opposite sides of the spectrum. My grandmother says, "You don't need to lose weight, I don't want you to get too skinny." Then, my mom and sister goes, "You need to lose weight!", "Should you really be eating that?", etc.

I personally hate both. I know what's best for me. I know when I've gained weight and I know what weight I would like to get down to. I don't need extra input.

Don't even get me started about directors who tell you that you need to lose weight... :noway: It always starts with, "There is a certain look you need to have as an actress..." and it always ends with, "I'm not saying that's the reason why you didn't get the part." YEAH RIGHT. Then why the hell did you even bring it up?

OMG, you are GORGEOUS! Any director that doesn't cast you must be a frig'n idiot!

VorJoshigan

You carry your weight so well! I don't care how I carry it, I just want it off!

I've gotten that before. What the heck does that even mean?

All's I know is I carry it painfully. I carry it with a negative self image. I carry it with me wherever I go. It's time to put it down.

mmarlow61

I hate when one certain person in my family tries to "talk" to me about my "dieting" and starts critiquing everything I eat. She will give me a blow by blow of what I should and should not eat. At my grand daughter's birthday party I was holding a plate of cake for my grandson. Each layer was different, so I took a pinch bite of each, all I was going to do, and she took the plate out of my hand, handed it to my husband and told him TAKE this, she does NOT need to eat that.

GeorgieLove708

Yeah I always got
"You don't look like you weigh that much"
"You don't need to lose weight, you have such a pretty face"
"You carry the weight well"
Even those stopped after I surpassed 325 pounds. Now I get
"Thank god you're losing weight. I was getting worried about you"
"Good now just don't stop. You really need to lose this weight"
"Put away the cookies, this is getting a little ridiculous don't you think"
I only got confused for pregnant (to my face) once. Apparently I was "obviously pregnant" with my 2 month old in my arms in plain sight. smh.

noogie98

When friend/family say "Oh you're beautiful.. You dont really need to lose weight." or "You're so smart and pretty that it doesnt matter what you weigh..its whats on the inside that counts"

I always tell them there is a healthy girl on the inside, trying to get out & I want to help her succeed!!

Works every time!

SingeSange

What I don't get is why parents don't control their kids in public. It is bad enough when people stare, or turn to look at my butt as I pass to see how big it is and giggle. But kids who come and poke my butt and run and laugh? And the mom just laughs and looks away? Seriously? It doesn't matter that I am losing, or that I have logged 5 hours in the gym this week, or that I am desperately trying to make healthy choices for just about the first time in my life. This is what happens when I go to the grocery store. Never fails. Even with a cart loaded with veggies and fruit and they may have donuts and frozen pizza. It still kills me that people tend to no longer consider me to be human. Most of the time they act like I deserve it, and I do see their point. I ate the food, it wasn't forced. I have had a lot of issues that lead to the overeating, yes. I was weak. But now that I am making so many changes, why do you still let your kids abuse me in public and never say a word?

OMG! I can't believe people do this to you!! That is absolutely horrible and, wow, just makes me feel so shocked!

ScorpionReaver

I'm reading these comments and stories and I'm seriously smdh...I can't believe the things people say to each other!

As for the statement that started this thread, you don't want anyone to lie to do and you DEFINITELY don't want someone to say get off your *kitten*...
What really works is someone to hang out with, with similar interests, to just say "Hey, I'm going for a walk, wanna come with me?" or "Let's shoot some hoops" or "Race you to the car!"
Hell, anything, motivation comes from times like these. My wife and I do this all the time, technically pushing each other, but it's harmless.
And it works!

She's gotten my *kitten* off the couch/xbox/computer many times hahaha

downtome

I used to weigh 315lbs back in November of 2010. I just hd an Abdominal Plasty surgery...Thank you god, now I'm lsing weight like crazy! No exercise or anything, granted I barely eat now, and all I hear is you look like a zoombie, yout getting too skinny....before I ws called fat, obese you name it, I just can't win. I still want to lose another 30lbs though regardles! You do whats best for you! It's your body, your life but I will say this, I'm 43 and I feel more like 23, well before this surgery anyway! Good luck hun! :-} It really does feel so much etter to be healthier and fit! Do it for you and no on else.

lilacsun

I know they mean well but I hate to hear "You carry your weight differently, you dont look like you weigh that much " ...yea the fat is evenly distributed :grumble:

Lol, hubby says that to me a lot.

abberbabber

and i hate the "pretty face" comment. urrg. that goes along with the "great personality" comment

What do you want people to say? Should they just never give you a compliment until you're skinny?

What's wrong with just saying "You're pretty/beautiful/whatever"? When you specifically say "You have a pretty face", the inferred meaning is "Well, you're fat and not really all that attractive...but you do have nice enough features". For a fat girl, it's pretty much the ultimate backhanded compliment lol.

abberbabber

I hate when one certain person in my family tries to "talk" to me about my "dieting" and starts critiquing everything I eat. She will give me a blow by blow of what I should and should not eat. At my grand daughter's birthday party I was holding a plate of cake for my grandson. Each layer was different, so I took a pinch bite of each, all I was going to do, and she took the plate out of my hand, handed it to my husband and told him TAKE this, she does NOT need to eat that.

:noway:

onefournine

I hate, HATE it when people call me "big guy" or "hoss" or "boss." It used to piss me off, and cause me to eat more. Now, it pisses me off, and I use it to go work out some more. Just yesterday someone called me big guy. She doesn't know how much it bothers me so I let it slide. I need to lose this damn weight and get some muscle put on so I can show it off and shut people up. GRRRR.

MrsWilsoncroft

I hate these.......

Should u be eating that?
Aren't you meant to be dieting?
So how many calories u had today?
You don't need to lose weight, you look good as you are
So what diet u following and how much u lost
Don't get too skinny
Isn't it time to stop
You don't need to keep dieting
Your not supposed to drink alcohol when dieting
You look fine to me, how much do u weigh lol