Please kill me now....how to deal with "Naked" Lab?

LaurenLite

First- I love your default pic. You ARE beautiful. You have great features (gorgeous eyes).

Now, Like everyone else, I am going to tell you to be proud of your successes and to not worry about what others think. EVERYONE (big / little, older/younger, male/female) is going to be too concerned about their own scars and sags to even worry about yours. Are there older women? They'll worry about their sagging chests; men- too much chest hair, not enough, moobies.Some people are shy about freckles, moles, old abuse marks, and soooo many other things you aren't even going to notice. Honey, you've been through the worst of the worst. You're going to get respected for that. This is nursing school, not backstage at a fashion show (where they DO tear each other to pieces and judge terribly). Your body has much to teach your classmates, just as you have much to learn from theirs. You go in there in your tank top and shorts, smile and say, "I'm a survivor AND I dropped a ton of weight." You'll put the rest of them to shame if they even THOUGHT of judging you. XOXOXOX. You're strong. You're BEAUTIFUL.

And remember: TRUE beauty isn't on the outside. It's who we are on the inside. Beauty is in our eyes- what we see, how we see the world and others. Beauty is in our souls- how we treat others (and ourselves). Outer beauty is merely a facade. I have worked with some of the most physically beautiful people who are have the ugliest souls you could imagine. I have bonded with those who may not grab your eye on the outside, but are truly amazingly radiant on the inside. That old adage: " Never judge a book by it's cover" comes to mind. It is often the case that the newer, pretty covered books are dull or poorly written; the best are usually not much to look at on the outside, but those are the ones you want to read again and again.

ravengirl1611

get yourself a pair of tasteful shorts and a cute tank top and go into that class with your head held high and proud - you have NOTHING to be ashamed of or embarassed about - 99% of the people in your class have no idea what you have gone through to come out where you are now - sure you might have a little extra skin and weight still to lose - but you're working on it - you have the support of all of us here on MFP and when you reach your goals you'll be even more fabulous and intelligent and they'll still be the stupid idiots they are now

frankensteen

First off, I'd like to congratulate you on both your weight loss AND your education. You should be so proud of what you have accomplished and excited about the future! Secondly, I'd just like to say that, while this is obviously very difficult for you, there really is nothing to be ashamed of.

My mother has been a nurse for over 25 years and I've heard many of her stories. She encounters different patients each and every day, many of whom likely have similar scruples about their bodies. I can assure you that whoever is working on you, as a patient, is not thinking about the aesthetics of your body! In the healthcare industry, a good nurse or doctor is focused solely on the task at hand - your health. Those classmates of yours who neglect to show up simply because you're their partner? Probably not the best healthcare workers in the first place! A good nurse knows that bodies are different and, moreover, that the human body is amazing, no matter what shape, size, or colour. I think if you can adopt this mindset, it will help you get through these labs and through your career. Having lost as much weight as you have (and survived cancer! holy crap!), you've seen first hand what the body is capable of! Embrace it.

Lastly, you shouldn't be so ashamed of these things you've listed because (here comes the cheesy cliche) they're what make you you! I would rather be a woman with some stretchmarks, discoloration, loose skin and an amazing life story than some plastic Barbie doll who has accomplished little to nothing. Be proud of yourself and your story!

meanderingby

MlleDee

I TOTALLY agree with Hula, Innocenceport, Lauren, and ChapinaGrande as well as other other wise women about this experience. Educate and inform your lab partner and classmates and always remember what it feels like to be on that end of the stethoscope.

Innocenceport is right - one day you WILL look back and think 'DAMN I AM G-O-O-D' ~smile~

Be proud of your journey - many are not so fortunate.

Shriffee

I don't have a solution, but I wanted to let you know that we do the same thing in our degree program, only we have to wear shorts and sports bras! One of the moms in our program brought up the fact that she had a couple of kids and didn't feel comfortable in a sports bra and the professors said she could wear a tank top. Maybe when you approached your professor they didn't realize how insecure you felt? Maybe talk to a faculty member you feel a little more comfortable with.

AnninStPaul

So you've beat cancer and lost weight and have the scars to prove it. Show them off ! Be proud of what you've achieved! I guarantee that when any of your classmates have to practice assessments on the job in their new professions, fabulous beach bodies will NOT be the norm. So let them get some real life experience. You're helping them! And you don't need to worry about what anyone else thinks. If you did, you need only think that they should admire you for your perseverance and strength. Hang in there girl.

^^^THIS. That said...try for an older/more mature lab partner.

I had a roommate for the first quarter of grad school, who was older. She was concerned when she moved in, because she had to share something that she was very ashamed of. She had alopecia and wore a wig, but took it off at night. She was a bit relieved to have a grad student as a roommate, and I did my best to keep a passive face when she told me and do my best to put her at ease.

PS -- there must be a student ombudsmen or something to go about faculty issues. Tell them about the "support" your instructor provided.

MissSusieQ

a body that has fought cancer, has carried you through tough times and has shed over 100lb is a beautiful body.

i know you don't think so, i know it doesn't look like the nice little bodies you see in the media, or even on the others in your class, but that body is YOURS, and it can do some pretty amazing stuff!

Rhea30

I am in school working on my degree for a health care profession. As such being obese is not looked well upon. However, this semester a new type of hell has emerged.

So in the past I have had to tolerate my height and weight being disclosed to other students as part of a lesson on calculating BMI during an AP lab, additionally I had to tolerate when they graphed the information and I was the sole outlier. So I am not new to the embarrassment training for health professions can present.

But this semester I don't know what to do. The dress code for one of my labs is as follows:

"Students are required to attend lab in the following attire: tank top, shorts, and easy to
remove shoes. Failure to present to lab in the correct attire will be treated as an unexcused absence."

By all accounts it is a "naked" lab to practice patient assessment. Now over the years I have battled cancer and weight loss. As a result my body is not exactly something I show off. While I may be close to a 100lbs lighter than when I started and cancer free, it today translates to skin so loose even a thigh cuff won't fit on my upper arm for blood pressure readings and an abdomen and chest riddled with scar tissue.

So the first lab is Wednesday, and I feel stuck. I can't exactly drop out of a program I am so far into over 1 class, yet I don't know what options I have. From past experience I know people will go through extraordinary lengths to avoid being paired with me in lab such as this, up to and including just not showing up. And before anyone judges people for this realize, that if your 1 task of the day is to demonstrate something as simple as taking vitals and you can't because I'm your partner, I don't exactly blame them for not wanting me.

So does anyone have any tips on how to deal with the embarrassment of sitting in front of a class full of people in little more than my underwear? Or how to deal with the shame felt by knowing that my obese disfigured body is going to negatively impact my lab partners grades...and probably appetites?

I mean I know it is not high school. We are all professionals, so nobody will laugh in my face. But I can't imagine not feeling judged over this, especially since my classmates aren't aware of my previous weight loss.

In a way you are learning alot with this experience and they are as well. You'll know how a patient who is in your shoes may feel when needing similar issues and it can be a good reminder to other students that practicing on you can be positive since patients don't all come in a perfect size and they are going to run into someone like you. The main thing is to remember that you're learning and doing something about it and no matter what do not give up on your program, that could end up being a major regret.

RokkinRobin

no reason to be sorry... would you be allowed to wear a longer lab coat maybe, until it came time to have to do the actual labs?

ladytinkerbell99

You are inspiration to everyone in that class. Be proud of all that you have overcome. :flowerforyou:

dvisser1

I already spoke to the professor about this. His thought is in the real world people don't get to pick perfect patients, so they don't get to pick them in lab either. As for how I feel during this, he could care less.

Sorry, I guess I wasn't really looking for solutions, just venting. I know that I am just going to have to deal with this again. Sorry all.

As brutally direct as that sounds, I have to agree. I know a handful of nurses. I personally have gone through so much first aid training I'm basically just a signature away from being a wilderness first responder. You never get to pick your patients. While I can understand why you don't want to be in such a situation as this, think about it a different way. The people who pair with you will get a better educational experience and be better prepared for entering the medical work force. You've beaten cancer and lost 100 lbs, now you have a chance to help train a stronger class of medical professionals. Be proud of your accomplishments and don't let your weight hold you back.

_Sally_

Fake it! You don't need to be comfortable in your own skin, but I've learned that if you fake it you start to get comfortable. Also wear something that makes you smile. I have a shirt with my dogs face on it. Do I look silly in the shirt? Probably, but just seeing the dumb look on her face makes me smile and feel good. Hang in there, it gets better.

Lots of good replies here.. I don't want to repeat what has already been said, but I think this poster was right on. Fake it 'til you make it is great advice when it comes to gaining confidence and not letting fears and anxieties get the better of you.

When I feel nervous or anxious in a situation, I try to envision how a confident person would feel and how they would behave, and then I "act as if" I was that confident person. Pretty soon the confident attitude becomes a more natural response that you don't even have to think about any more. Have fun with it! Smile! Make a joke to break the ice. If you are exuding an upbeat attitude, it is often contagious.

If you have Showtime, you might also want to watch a documentary that is currently available On Demand. I just saw it last night and it really puts things in perspective. We all have insecurites, and we all need to own our bodies and be proud!

"Naked On The Inside" - Documentary portrait of six people who grapple with the subject of body image, from a San Francisco supermodel obsessing over her perfect physical appearance, to a 350-pound "fat activist," to a legless dancer who falls in love for the first time.

MlleDee

Thank you guys so much for all the thoughtful replies. I am blown away by how supportive everyone has been. I think this board has restored some of my faith in humanity.

Thanks again, I read every single reply, and am truly grateful for all the support. I think I will bookmark this page and come back to reread it right before the lab for a little moral boost!

Hugs to all you wonderful people!

rlwart

I already spoke to the professor about this. His thought is in the real world people don't get to pick perfect patients, so they don't get to pick them in lab either. As for how I feel during this, he could care less.

Sorry, I guess I wasn't really looking for solutions, just venting. I know that I am just going to have to deal with this again. Sorry all.

I totally agree with this, real world people look like you and me, therefore they should be grateful for the chance to experience working with imperfection before it comes up in real life.

You are doing your best here and I am proud of you. Which essentially means nothing because I'm a complete stranger, right? So if other complete strangers think any less, then that too should mean nothing.

ahjenny

Good luck! I had naked lab in PA school about 20 years ago. At the time I was also about 100 pounds overweight. The weeks leading up to donning the gown for my classmates was absolute torture. But about five minute into it everyone was naked (or near naked). And even the skinny people had body issues, oddly, no better or worse than mine.

Somehow it brought everyone closer and was not the nightmare I had been envisioning.

Go in with an open mind. Be ready to talk about your scars. They prove very interesting to a bunch of pre-med pros. Remember that no one is really perfect and everyone has their own demons.


John

I agree with this. There will probably be other people who are uncomfortable in their clothes and having to touch and be touched by others, especially classmates. They might be so far in their own heads that they don't worry about you or how you look. Maybe something you can do, depending on the weather, is wear a tighter fitting tank underneath a looser one, and same with the shorts. The tank underneath can keep your belly covered, incase your outer tank comes up. I did this when I was breastfeeding, and it helped. Same thing with the shorts... the undershorts can just add another layer which might make you more comfortable.

farroz

no reason to be sorry... would you be allowed to wear a longer lab coat maybe, until it came time to have to do the actual labs?

That was my same thought why not wear something over it and then expose when the time is needed.

You know what I find funny is that even if you have patients as a nurse that are thick and thin and insecure, when they have to expose themselves they are not in the waiting room. They are in a private room ,completly draped and you dont have to see them every day after that. I know schools have to make accomadations for any disability, anxiety being one of them. If your lab is only one day maybe you can do it on a saturday with a classmate you trust.

TheRealParisLove

Say you are Mormon and ask if you can wear scrubs to the class instead as is your duty to remain modest as part of your religious upbringing.

It's one class, so be sure to never mention your religion beyond this one concession. They are required by law to abide by this kind of religious edict as part of the Equal Opportunity Education Act of 1974.

If you are not Mormon or are bothered at the thought of lying about your religion, I'm sure someone would be more than happy to talk to you about their church and write a letter on your behalf so as you may be able to don more modest clothing for this lab. And who knows, maybe you'll like what the Mormons have to say?

megleo818

So many great responses here. One I didn't see is asking your professor to take a different approach with you. Since he seems unwilling to budge on the "undress code", perhaps he can showcase you as an example of body types that are increasingly the norm for treatment by medical professionals today. While stressing the fact that you've beaten cancer and lost a significant amount of weight -- and will continue to do so -- he can present you as an excellent opportunity for devising creative work-arounds and practicing superior bedside manner to obese individuals. If he's an even halfway effective educator, he can make you the most sought-after lab partner in the class and do his students a great service in the meantime. Just a thought.