The Boys side of the gym!

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bms34b
bms34b Posts: 401 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
Currently, I'm doing NROL for women. I just recently restarted the first phase. After getting halfway through phase two, school started, and suddenly I had access to a complete gym. So, I've been lifting there since last monday. So far, I've been ignored for the most part. A few curious looks, but mostly just ignored. That was fantastic!
Today, though, when asking someone if they were using a bar I wanted to use to deadlift, I was called sweetheart.

WHAT!? Is that really okay!? Any ladies have experiences like this or men that would like to defend what this chump called me? I'm all for being flattered, but context is everything. Yuck.
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Replies

  • GorillaNJ
    GorillaNJ Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Don't worry your pretty little head about it sugar! LOL
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    Relax, its like when people use the term "son" or "pal".
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
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    Currently, I'm doing NROL for women. I just recently restarted the first phase. After getting halfway through phase two, school started, and suddenly I had access to a complete gym. So, I've been lifting there since last monday. So far, I've been ignored for the most part. A few curious looks, but mostly just ignored. That was fantastic!
    Today, though, when asking someone if they were using a bar I wanted to use to deadlift, I was called sweetheart.

    WHAT!? Is that really okay!? Any ladies have experiences like this or men that would like to defend what this chump called me? I'm all for being flattered, but context is everything. Yuck.

    You said school started... are you lifting on a college campus? You're just going to have to deal with it. I work at a rec center on a college campus, and while most people mind their own business, you will get comments occasionally (everyone does from time to time). Just ignore it.

    What are you going to do when people actually WANT to hurt your feelings?
  • Bakkasan
    Bakkasan Posts: 1,027 Member
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    VERY few women do serious lifting at my gym and my wife does get stares when doing deadlifts and squats. Sweetheart is pretty benign even in context but I do understand where you are coming from.
  • TroJon
    TroJon Posts: 15 Member
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    Guys call each other (when they do not know each other) -

    Bro

    Brah

    Pal

    Mate

    ***

    Please don't take offence lol - it's just normal!

    A lot of people who start training in the weights section sometimes also see certain behaviours as rude/aggressive, but it really isn't!

    I personally wouldn't call a female I do not know anything, although I say "mate" a lot to everyone :/
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    I can't remember being called something like that at the gym (which is all male except me) but I may have and just not remembered. I get called love, sweetheart etc a few times in certain social situations... nothing flirty, just casually.

    I honestly would not have a problem with that. Some men call every woman they speak to that, it's like second nature to them. If you don't like it, just ignore and move on.

    If it was said in a flirty / suggestive way, all you have to do is mention you don't feel comfortable with that, and that you're there to workout.
  • Need2bfit918
    Need2bfit918 Posts: 133 Member
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    i have had older woman refer to me as sweetie.its usually older people or people from certain parts of the country where they just talk that way. if he was saying it to be condescending thats different. but thats hard to tell
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
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    Wow, who knew politeness would garner such a negative reaction. He didn't make an offensive innuendo, didn't swear, didn't wolf whistle or anything else particularly provocative. I don't see a problem here other than a little oversensitivity to a term that seems to be pretty commonly used in the South.
  • sydnisd183
    sydnisd183 Posts: 247 Member
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    Relax, its like when people use the term "son" or "pal".
    ^this, mostly.^



    I rarely hear anyone though because my headphones are always jamming lol
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,676 Member
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    LOL Gorilla!!
    Perhaps try your gym in the earliest AM time.
    That is when I go (about 4:30AM)
    Staying busy, quiet and focused helps.
  • iWaffle
    iWaffle Posts: 2,208 Member
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    Some men call every woman they speak to that, it's like second nature to them.

    Slightly older guy (40+) I'll wager. I'll agree. It was probably just out of habit. Do you know how many older women call men "darling" or "sweetie"? I hear it all the time. Good old southern sweetness like ice tea on a hot day. Just expect it.

    If he was being flirty he wouldn't have picked "sweetheart".
  • RainbootsToBikinis
    RainbootsToBikinis Posts: 465 Member
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    Wow, who knew politeness would garner such a negative reaction. He didn't make an offensive innuendo, didn't swear, didn't wolf whistle or anything else particularly provocative. I don't see a problem here other than a little oversensitivity to a term that seems to be pretty commonly used in the South.

    This. I have a friend who calls everyone sweetheart or hun it's just the way he talks. Doesn't mean anything by it. I actually LIKE it when men are polite to me, I know it's a new concept these days.
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,267 Member
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    I got more offended when I asked to work in with a man and was told NO, that I could wait until he was done.

    :angry:
  • DopeItUp
    DopeItUp Posts: 18,771 Member
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    If you get this offended by being called sweetheart, I'd hate to see what would happen if someone were actually insulting. That's about the nicest thing he could have said! If only everyone were that nice...
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
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    IDK. I live in Texas. Everyone is "sweetheart", "sugar", "honey", "doll", etc. :indifferent:
  • Determinednoob
    Determinednoob Posts: 2,001 Member
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    Don't worry your pretty little head about it sugar! LOL

    lulz

    You said it brah!
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    Um. Grow a pair.
  • MissyBenj
    MissyBenj Posts: 186 Member
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    Smile back, take the bar, do your workout and be on your way. There was absolutley nothing offensive to make an entire post on here about.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    I can't really comment, unless I heard the tone in his voice and the look on his face. In a situation like that, body language would speak a lot more than words.

    Frankly, if I were in that situation, I'd probably say "Hun," but I call most girls I meet "hun."
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
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    I wouldn't get offended til I started hearing Ma'am ..... I had a group of teenagers ask me a few months ago "Sir, Are you done with the preacher curl bench.." LOL Sir, I would tend to believe that to be just a polite gesture but I kinda got the vibe of more of an Older sentiment... I don't take offense to it what so ever.. Words are words and I just let them roll of me, life is far to short to stress over stuff like that..... Best of Luck

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