Relationship question

2»

Replies

  • Chapter3point6
    Chapter3point6 Posts: 1,233
    No. I need someone to clean the house! :noway:
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    I give you permission to break up with your significant other, if that's what you're looking for.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    No, but my husband tried to undermine me at the beginning. He's the cook and makes dinner every night and would slip in extra butter or cheese or anything else that might throw off the calories for me. So I told him I'd stop eating what he was making and make my own dinner. I also found him a ton of healthy recipes. He decided to start cooking more healthful meals and he enjoyed them, too. Though he was eating 3-4 serving sizes at dinner.

    Then we went through a very stressful several months and he dropped 45 lbs. He felt much better physically and has maintained the loss.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Yes... and that's why Little Debbie and I stopped seeing each other.......




    .......total *kitten*, by the way.

    It's ok, she still has me.
  • dane11235813
    dane11235813 Posts: 682 Member
    Just break up.

    damn you're too quick
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    This is not exactly an entirely objective audience. Most people here are "obsessed" with exercise and eating right in comparison to the average person. So don't expect that you're going to get a variety of perspectives.

    My first thought is that working out and eating well is a lifestyle, not a hobby. In other words, it's who you are, not just something you do. You and your SO can have totally different hobbies and still get along fine. But it is very, very difficult to have a healthy relationship with someone who doesn't share your lifestyle. That doesn't mean that the two of you have to do everything together all the time. It just means understanding and respecting each other's goals and purpose because they are essentially the same.

    Secondly, I think you need to be honest about whether or not your SO has a valid complaint. Is your "obsession" with fitness and nutrition interfering with the time you spend with her? When she mentions getting together to do something, do you always have something fitness-related planned that you just aren't willing to give up or reschedule for her? If that's the case, then I don't think it's an issue of her not respecting your lifestyle; I think you either just don't have time for a girlfriend or you're not into this particular girlfriend enough to make the effort.
  • tri10806
    tri10806 Posts: 192 Member
    I have never ended a relationship for this reason, but that's because I wasn't with anyone since I've started my transformation. I have actually decided against dating certain people because they would give me grief about my calorie counting and obssession with exercising 6 days a week. I have a schedule, and anyone who wants to be with me, will have to respect that schedule. This is why I would like to find someone who is also health conscious and would exercise with me! That would be ideal lol.

    As for ending a relationship because of this. I would say if you feel you would want to, it would end regardless. I think for people like us, we need that support here and outside of MFP.
    Yeah I kinda blew that one asking about ending a relationship because of it! It's really more about choosing not to date someone who isn't into biking, running or some sort of fitness lifestyle in general. When you're young you look for someone to settle down with and raise a family. When you're older and at a different place in life priorities change.

    I sit in an office for 8 hours a day. When my kids are not at home I don't want to leave work and sit in front of a tv or go out spending money on food that isn't good for you. I try to look at food as fuel---why am I eating this? How many calories do I need today? etc. I enjoy getting up early on the weekends to bike or run. I have a lot of friends where both partners are into running or triathlons. I think it's neat to see them out together training or racing. I just don't think I could get involved with someone again where fitness is not an important part of their life.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    Yes - actually he ended it with me cause he didnt like the change
  • PantalaNagaPampa
    PantalaNagaPampa Posts: 1,031 Member
    Yes - actually he ended it with me cause he didnt like the change
    Then HE was an effin fool... SUCKER!!

    To the OP, dude if you have to come on here and ask the question, then you already know what you want.

    Compatability needs ot be on many levels, and yes fitness and healthy lifestyles need to be part of that.

    You can love someone and still know they are not right for you.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
    I don't see this so much as a "I hit up the gym a lot and became very aware/obsessed with healthy eating"

    I see it as my life course simply changed, and not for the worse, and she's not on board with it. However, if you're spending very little time with her, she has a legit complaint.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    Welcome to the dark side. We have endorphins, and confidence.
  • oneworkoutatatime
    oneworkoutatatime Posts: 312
    Yes... and that's why Little Debbie and I stopped seeing each other.......




    .......total *kitten*, by the way.


    :laugh:
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Initially it seemed like a ridiculous reason to break up with someone, but after reading some of the comments, I suppose it could bring out deeper underlying problems in the relationship.
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,776 Member
    My last relationship walked out on me as he said these words

    "If you hadn't lost the weight we would still be together"

    after I picked my jaw up off the ground, I felt blessed and relieved that he beat me to the punch.

    But I've also decided that my next relationship has to be with someone that is on the same fitness crusade as I am...he doesn't have to be perfect, I'm not...but he has to be dedicated and active and have fitness goals...

    I think that's fair.
    I hadn't given this much thought before but it seems to me that it is equally as shallow for someone to demand fitness or certain body image of their partner as it would be for those who prefer larger/heavier partners to undermine fitness goals or leave the relationship when the other person changes.

    Psychologically, the person who is content with their body is more likely to be secure and self confident, regardless of their size or level of fitness. A person who is a fanatic for fitness is still a fanatic; less secure, less self-confident. A person who is unhappy with their level of weight, body image, level of fitness is dissatisfied; likewise less secure, less self-confident but not in a fanatic way.

    Thought provoking thread. Carry on!!

Categories