starvation mode and losing friends

kiachu

I 've read all the posts so far to this thread and the one thing that annoys me is the 1200 calories being assumed to be the perfect quantity for every person out there - as we all know we are all different.

I have a friend who has what some people consider horrible eating habits and I can only imagine the comments she would elicit on here if she was on here. She only ever eats once a day and maybe and I stress the maybe eats 600-700 cal / day - she's 5'8, 126lbs works out 3x/wk minimum and is incredibly healthy and fit

for her that quantity of calories works - for me I wouldnt last 4 hours on that - Im also 2 inches shorter and and 125lbs heavier - right now and I'll stress again - right now I should (according to calculations) be eating 2200 or so cals / day - for me - that's wayyyy too much food unless Im eating nothing but junk and the calories are adding up quickly - I simply can not eat that much - I feel best, have the most energy and the least problem eating between 1600 & 1800 cals / day - my diary is set to 1600 - and if today I had 1500 cals - great - if tomorrow I had 1700 cals - that's great too -

WHEN I reach my goal weight/inches I should be down to 1000 - 1200 cals / day and I'll see at that time if that works for me - I may still be at 1600 / day

I guess my point is there is no one magic quantity of calories that works for every single person out there just like a job, choice of wardrobe, choice of partner - whatever - what works for you - probably doesnt work for me - it's one of the many wonderful things that makes us individuals, unique and awesome in our own ways.

How do you know she is healthy or how many calories she eats a day in and out. There are people that eat like that most days then have a large refeed on other days so it balances out? Physical fitness or aesthetic fitness is not an indicator of internal health. She could be doing fine now but something inside is being depressed and is breaking.

bcattoes

One of my friends eats under 1000 calories every day. If she asked I would advise her to eat more, but she eats healthy and has been losing consistently and most importantly, she didn't ask, so I just offer what support I can and let her find her own path.

But some people only like to have friends that eat and think like them. They should probably make that clear when sending or accepting a friend request, then things like this wouldn't happen.

heyshell79

Don't let the turkey get you down, you sound like a responisble woman with a difficult schedule, I say you're doing just fine.

Ljordan_fitflow

i agree with the post below!!! I will add to this some people can eat over 2200 calories and some how still lose weight. congrats to them.. Not everyone can follow the USDA and FDA nutrition guidelines..and if the nutrition guidelines were perfect then obesity wouldn't be an epidemic in America.. I will emphasize that every "body" is different. If 1200 calories works for you then do what is working for "you" because this is what matter most and not what people think. when i started my weight loss journey 8 months I was definitely at the 1200 calorie mark and now that i'm where i want to be i stay around 1400-1600 to maintain because this is what works for me. i eat healthy and get proper nutrients... i don't eat 1400-1600 calories of junk.

oh and you can add me by the way....

I found your post very interesting. I have not been on here a month yet and this disturbs me. I thought the message boards were meant for encouragement and support not critiquing and judgement.

You are the only person that can understand what works for your body. Congratulations on all your achievements thus far. I think you are awesome for doing the best job under the circumstances you have to work under.

I hope one day to say that I have 50 pounds left to lose!!!

Don't worry about the ones that leave, they just leave room for the ones that matter most.

sarbar71

i try to never place judgement on people's good choices or calorie intake. Many of my friends eat under 1200 calories but they eat healthy as you do. Who am I to judge? That said, I did unfriend someone due (in part) to their calorie intake. She consistently ate around 600-700 calories per day and exercised off about 800 or more. She finished every day in the negatives. I offered her encouragement and someone to talk to if she needed it. The truth is, I have struggled with disordered eating patterns in the past and have lived at both extremes of the weight scale - but I have never had a HEALTHY relationship with food. My goal is to learn to eat and diet in a healthy fashion, free of starving myself AND binging. Our goals were obviously very different - she was much younger than me, she was underweight and starving herself intentionally, whereas I need to lose weight and am trying to become healthy. I offered her kind words and encouragement frequently, and never once did she reciprocate. In a nutshell . . there are many reasons people unfriend someone; try not to take it personally. Perhaps you two had nothing in common, perhaps she felt your MFP relationship was one sided, perhaps she used to struggle with an eating disorder. I wish this person that I unfriended the best, but just did not feel with my history that I could provide her with the encouragement for her eating disorder that she was looking for.

kiachu

My issue is the chronic use of "What works". For most people eating very low in calories will "work" in terms of weight loss. For the majority of people it will "work" regardless of the meter of which it will work. I will lose weight on 1500 calories and I will lose weight on 500 calories. Both will work. My concern is not what is "working" but what it is "doing" There are certain biological truths that feelings and pom poms and "you go girls" can't undo. And just because something is "working" on the outside doesn't mean its not "doing" something on the inside that you can't diagnose or quantify until it is too late. And then as we see time and time again the "What works" stops working because the "too late" happened. And that "too late" can be different from person to person of when, how, and how hard it will hit them.

ravengirl1611

I 've read all the posts so far to this thread and the one thing that annoys me is the 1200 calories being assumed to be the perfect quantity for every person out there - as we all know we are all different.

I have a friend who has what some people consider horrible eating habits and I can only imagine the comments she would elicit on here if she was on here. She only ever eats once a day and maybe and I stress the maybe eats 600-700 cal / day - she's 5'8, 126lbs works out 3x/wk minimum and is incredibly healthy and fit

for her that quantity of calories works - for me I wouldnt last 4 hours on that - Im also 2 inches shorter and and 125lbs heavier - right now and I'll stress again - right now I should (according to calculations) be eating 2200 or so cals / day - for me - that's wayyyy too much food unless Im eating nothing but junk and the calories are adding up quickly - I simply can not eat that much - I feel best, have the most energy and the least problem eating between 1600 & 1800 cals / day - my diary is set to 1600 - and if today I had 1500 cals - great - if tomorrow I had 1700 cals - that's great too -

WHEN I reach my goal weight/inches I should be down to 1000 - 1200 cals / day and I'll see at that time if that works for me - I may still be at 1600 / day

I guess my point is there is no one magic quantity of calories that works for every single person out there just like a job, choice of wardrobe, choice of partner - whatever - what works for you - probably doesnt work for me - it's one of the many wonderful things that makes us individuals, unique and awesome in our own ways.

How do you know she is healthy or how many calories she eats a day in and out. There are people that eat like that most days then have a large refeed on other days so it balances out? Physical fitness or aesthetic fitness is not an indicator of internal health. She could be doing fine now but something inside is being depressed and is breaking.

I know because we've been best friends for over 25 years and because we talk - like a lot of best friends in some ways we know each other better than we know ourselves. Do I like or approve of her eating habits - not always - but they work for her.

SHHitsKaty

I found when I had my calories set to 1200 that I was pretty much starving myself and that I wasn't losing weight because my body wasn't getting enough to eat, upped mine to 1450 and what do you know? Weight is coming off, I feel better, I don't feel hungry or ashamed that I went over the 1200 because I was starving by 6pm.

Everything works differently for everyone, not one persons body is made up like someone else, so what works for you may not be the best for someone else.

Also, I'm 25, 5'4 and currently 135 lbs and trying to get down to 120.

korygilliam

Don't have enough time to read all, so someone may have already posted...

It is better to not have a consistant intake everyday. Cycling/zig zaging your net makes it where your body doesn't become accustomed to the new net intake as easily and, therefore, prevents your body from attempting to work better with the fewer calories (slowing down your metabolism, no...this isn't the same as starvation mode).

Just keep an eye on your weekly net average (is easy on the phone app) and make sure that your high and low days are averaging out to be around your daily net goal. I have done this for a long time and it makes it not feel so much like a diet and more like a sustainable process.

rosalia159

So basically, they are not your friend! They should have been happy for your success...we are a society that uses the word "friend" too loosely!

BrianSharpe

I have a friend who has what some people consider horrible eating habits and I can only imagine the comments she would elicit on here if she was on here. She only ever eats once a day and maybe and I stress the maybe eats 600-700 cal / day - she's 5'8, 126lbs works out 3x/wk minimum and is incredibly healthy and fit .

Sorry I'm calling BS on this one.........your friend eats at 50% of her BMR and works out and (your words) is incredibly healthy and fit. She's barely getting enough calories, according to you, to maintain brain function - I suspect you're not getting the whole story from her.

If you don't believe that she's pulling your leg do a little research on how the nazis systematically killed prisoners in concentration camps through starvation (pay particular attention to the caloric intake they allowed prisoners....)

katejkelley

Someone who unfriends you for that is one flakey person - I wouldn't give it another thought!