Too Embarrassed to Lift Those Weights

yoovie

Here's an idea, it was the only way I was able to summon the courage to go down there - cause at my gym its actually a dungeon that looks like the LSU Football lockerroom.

I decided I wanted a reputation. One I could build from scratch. One that I would be proud of. And the only way to build a reputation is by showing your face regularly. It became part of my workout program. "Show your face"

I wanted to be known as the one girl at my gym that was:

brave enough to walk into that room, handle my business and get out of there.
willing to try something new AND get better at it.
not afraid of the big bad boys (even though I was)
willing to make mistakes and spend way too much time working on her form and doing things correctly.
not intimidated by anything any of those men could say to me.
aware that just by being in there, I'd jumped the hardest hurdle.
not scared to be strong and attempt what none of her girlfriends would ever think of doing
excited to be an example to others
not trying to be a silly cardio bunny
educated just enough about the body to know that that weight lifting part was more than necessary too
the cute blonde on the barbell on saturdays and wednesdays.

I built my reputation and then guess what - the stares and little comments turned into head nods within 4 gym visits, then hey hows it goings, then what you doing today blondie? hows it going supergirl?

Now I can walk into the weights area in ANY gym and know that Im confident enough to handle my business. The other day two guys were watching me lift from near the water fountain. It totally gave me a boost. My weights Yoda told me theyd probably never seen that before.

You should have seen the size of my pride.

GOD I hope you decide to build a reputation too. Youd be so surprised how that courage and confidence seeps into all the rest of the the areas in your life...

nervous about a job interview?
a new place?
a new set of friends?

bravery is a muscle too often neglected.

yoovie

aw crap thats way longer than i thought it would be

auroranflash

aw crap thats way longer than i thought it would be

It was very necessary, though.

MariaLivingFit

I go to the gym at 5 am and use the weights - there are less people there at that time, and the people who are at the gym at 5 am are usually focused on what they are doing and not into chatting or even making eye contact. Works for me! I also walk around with a clipboard so I can record my exercises/weight/reps, which makes me feel a little more like I belong there. I know that sounds silly, but whatever works! :-)

vim_n_vigor

aw crap thats way longer than i thought it would be

It was awesome.

ThePhoenixRose

Monday was my first day lifting, or at the gym at all, since high school. I went to the "free weights only" room, and there were 5 pretty big dudes in there. At first i contemplated turning around and hiding. BUT, i want to do this. I NEED to do this. So, i walked in, head held high. I looked around a bit and decided where to start. I didn't really know how to dead lift, so i just waited and did the other things first. When 3 of the guys were just chatting, i walked up and asked if one of them minded showing me how to do it. All 3 came over, one demonstrated, the other 2 offered pointers, and helped me figure out what weight to start at. When that was too much for good form, they helped me take those off and find the right weight for me. Then, they watched me, and offered suggestions so i didn't hurt myself.

I'm SO PROUD of myself for having the balls to walk into that "guy zone" and for having the guts to ask for help. I was the only woman in there the whole time. I'm proud that i was able to hang with the big boys! Plus, when they were doing ab work, i totally killed them on it! that felt pretty good.

maab_connor

aw crap thats way longer than i thought it would be

no, it was perfect.

RGv2

Honestly, when we're lifting we're paying more attention to what we're doing and the clock (timing rests). If we look at you or talk to you, we're figuring out what you're doing so we don't trip over each other, use the same piece of equipment, or if you're done using something when you get up so we can use it.

Most experienced lifters will only give you advice on form if what you're doing is so off it can cause injury. I've been lifting for over 10 years and have only given advice once. It was a novice lifter in the squat rack, and my knees hurt just by watching.

My advice would be to do a couple sessions with a trainer to learn form, exercieses and basic "gym etiquite" for the free weight area.

MariaMariaM

My gym is separated into strength training equipment/TRX/weights on the first floor and cardio on the second. I know I should be getting some strength training in to round out my routine, but I always find myself too embarrassed to grab those dumbbells. The first floor is completely DOMINATED by men covered in (sometimes beautiful/admirable/distracting) muscles (; The thought of going down there is so intimidating and awkward.

Irrationally, I feel like someone is gonna watch me and be like "wow, look.. her form is all wrong. She's so stupid." I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this. Hahaha. I just need to muster up some nerve and trek down there one of these days.

I understand how you feel. It can be very intimidating walking in a room full of guys lifting weights.
I did P90X in the basement of my house. Then this year I decided to join the gym and see if I could do some more serious weight lifting. Well, the first time I showed up in the free weight room, I looked around and decided I could not get the nerve to step foot there. I didn't have a plan and I didn't want to feel stupid. This is what I did:

1) Have a plan or routine ready. My gym offers complimentary basic routines but I didn't want that so I went online and after reading on the forums on MFP I settled on a 12 week program I got from Bodybuilding.com. It is free and the program I am doing has a routined for every day of the 12 weeks. In addition to that, if you have a smartphone, you can use that to see how each exercise for a particular day is performed so that you are good on form. I love it! My profile pic was taken yesterday and in my gallery I have a comparison of what the same shot looked like 4 months ago. I have been doing the program for almost 2 months now.

2) Once you have a plan to follow and even if after looking at videos or tutorials you are still not sure, ask some one to help you (staff member at the gym, some one lifting weights, etc). I am not shy about asking for this. You will only need to do it once or twice.

3) Don't be embarrased to start light, especially if you don't know how much you can lift. Everyone has to start somewhere.

3) Walk into the room with confidence (even if you don't feel it at the moment), like you own the world. This will do wonders as to how others percive you.

4) IMO no one really cares for what others are doing (at least not at my gym). Everyone is in their own little world.

This is all I have in terms of advice. Again, the most important thing IMO is to have a plan going in so that at least you know what you want to work on for the day.

Feel free to message me / friend me. I am not an expert but I have learned a lot in the over 2 years I have been working on shaping my body.

iAMsmiling

I'm not sure I know of any of the guys that see the weights as "the guy zone."

I think working with a trainer once or twice is a better idea than just asking some random "big guy." The big guy is not going to have the same goals as you (or me).

Be brave. You will be welcome in the end.

wildcata77

I learned by watching the lifts other people were doing and then trying my best to copy them. When I wanted to give up the machine-weights area of the gym completely, I scheduled one session with a Personal Trainer, she charged me $35 for an hour of showing me different lifts using free weights, bars, the Boku, and the resistance band free-motion machines, and corrected my form where needed.

It was the best $35 I ever spent. I now feel so much more confident in what I am doing, and she understands what my goals are (lifting "heavy", not doing a ton of reps with low weights) as well as that I can't afford regular sessions. We worked out that I would schedule a session about once every other month to freshen up my routine and give me new things to do. Next time I'm planning to ask about dead lifts.

It sounds harsh but, what I tell myself is to just get over myself! We all watch each other, but when I watch other people lift rarely do I think anything personal about them...I think "hmmm...I wonder if I can do that" or "it's great to see so many different lifts".

ishtar13

bravery is a muscle too often neglected.

The whole post is awesome, but this is extra-awesome. :happy:

RedHeadDevotchka

Yes, yes of course you are not alone. I suspect if less women felt this way they would be lifting too!
However, the only way to get over this is to do it! I remember when I was getting back to lifting I was almost to the point of hyperventilating because I was nervous and there were a ton of guys working out. But I did it, and now, pfft I go in there and I own that place (haha, I have more confidence :bigsmile: ).
Put some headphones in and focus on the workout. What's more important? How you look in front of some guy or getting strong?
That's kinda what I had to tell myself....

BinaryPulsar

Personally, I would be very happy if someone corrected my form. I would be a lot more upset if someone knew I was doing something wrong and they just watched me continue on a path towards injury and did not say anything to me. I know I need help. And I appreciate when people offer it, very much! Sometimes I ask people for help with my form and I realize they don't know any more than I do because they just say, "Yeah, you are doing it right". But, I need more than that. I need some detailed observations. I can take it because I'm a dancer. We are always paying very close attention to the details of the form of our movements.

iWaffle

Personally, I would be very happy if someone corrected my form. I would be a lot more upset if someone knew I was doing something wrong and they just watched me continue on a path towards injury and did not say anything to me.

I hurt my ribs on the leg press a little over a month ago (Google - leg press rib). It's all good now but I make sure and tell anyone on that machine about that hidden danger. Last week I actually corrected a woman for the first time and for this exact reason. It was a bit awkward telling her to "keep your butt on the mat. Always!" but when I explained my personal story about it. She seemed grateful. I don't normally correct anyone because I'm not a trainer but I had to say something. I hope I didn't crush her ego.

I had no idea that the women using the weights were so intimidated by the guys. I don't see that as the "boys side" but I can see how being unsure can make you feel like you're being watched closely to see if you're doing something wrong. I don't' think it's weird for women to use weights. Mostly I get annoyed and roll my eyes because they always predictably just do nothing but cardio. I'm actually impressed if a lady dares to pick up something heavier than a water bottle. Bravo for her.

If you're unsure always ask for a second opinion. Guys do the same thing with each other. I can't tell you how many times I've discussed form and technique with other guys in the gym. It's not weird at all. You'd be thought more highly of asking for advice than just doing something wrong that looked funny.

BinaryPulsar

Personally, I would be very happy if someone corrected my form. I would be a lot more upset if someone knew I was doing something wrong and they just watched me continue on a path towards injury and did not say anything to me.

I hurt my ribs on the leg press a little over a month ago (Google - leg press rib). It's all good now but I make sure and tell anyone on that machine about that hidden danger. Last week I actually corrected a woman for the first time and for this exact reason. It was a bit awkward telling her to "keep your butt on the mat. Always!" but when I explained my personal story about it. She seemed grateful. I don't normally correct anyone because I'm not a trainer but I had to say something. I hope I didn't crush her ego.

I had no idea that the women using the weights were so intimidated by the guys. I don't see that as the "boys side" but I can see how being unsure can make you feel like you're being watched closely to see if you're doing something wrong. I don't' think it's weird for women to use weights. Mostly I get annoyed and roll my eyes because they always predictably just do nothing but cardio. I'm actually impressed if a lady dares to pick up something heavier than a water bottle. Bravo for her.

If you're unsure always ask for a second opinion. Guys do the same thing with each other. I can't tell you how many times I've discussed form and technique with other guys in the gym. It's not weird at all. You'd be thought more highly of asking for advice than just doing something wrong that looked funny.

Maybe that's the reason why when I walk into the weights, it seems like all the guys start staring at me. But, they always treat me with respect and a smile, and then they stop looking once I am working.

Also, I sometimes wonder maybe I was looking at them first (without realizing it) and that's why they were looking at me. I think the whole looking or not looking feeling is more about how I feel awkward or unsure inside.

My real issue is that there often isn't enough space, so I set up the stuff I can do in the women's room, where I can pretty much have the weights and space to myself.

Also, in the main area, the lat pull down is too high. I have to stand on the bench just to reach it.

iWaffle

My real issue is that there often isn't enough space, so I set up the stuff I can do in the women's room, where I can pretty much have the weights and space to myself.

That's my main reason for doing strength training at 9 PM and why I picked a smaller gym (Any Time Fitness) over the big 24 hour fitness. Last night I had the entire place to myself. Normally there are just a handful of people in there, half of them are women and they just do cardio. All the weights are belong to me.

Halleeon

It's intimidating, I agree. What I did :

Joined a gym that has less "hard and sexy" bodies and has more people like me - those that are overweight, obese, some lean and fit and even plenty of older folks.

Then, I asked for a trainer to show me around the cables and free weights section.

Simple as that. Maybe if your gym is causing such distraction and anxiety - it's time for a new one.

subcult

I assume a good number of the guys will also be intimated by you.

tabulator32

You're not there to impress anyone but yourself.

The only dumbbells are the folks that won't exercise!

:bigsmile: