Need advice on a work issue please

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Replies

  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
    Ohhhh, dangerous ground.....personally I think that you should start looking around for another job if it's at all possible. Until then, maybe make an effort not to put yourself in tricky situations with him. (Think long-term here....even if you did passionately fall in love and live happily ever after, after sorting out your existing relationships, would you really want to devote your love to a man who may well do the same again......? Trust would be a massive issue. It's not worth it). All the very best xxx
  • _Mary_L
    _Mary_L Posts: 18
    I wouldn't quit my job for that... but you need to know yourself. I know that I would never cheat on my dh so it wouldn't face me. If you go somewhere else and the same thing happens, are you going to continue changing jobs? what are the chances you will find another job that you like and are happy??? If you stay, be careful... people do notice things that you don't think are as obvious and you don't want to start rumors... Those rumors could get to his wife/kids or your SO and it won't be a happy ending...
  • sydnisd183
    sydnisd183 Posts: 247 Member
    Maybe try to be more romantic with your SO.....flowers, a card, a special night together. Find a way to get some fires rekindled and you may discover a new, fresh attraction to him! I'm sure he'd appreciate the extra attention as well :blushing:

    i like the other's suggestions of thinking of the boss in gross-out situations like being on the toilet, flossing, clipping his toenails, he has holes in his undies and picks his nose when you're not looking OP!!!!! (LOL just trying to help distract you, at least you recognize the feeling and talking about it helps take some of the power out of it)
  • wiggywompus
    wiggywompus Posts: 65 Member
    Stay in the job you love it and get on with co-workers. Try to always have others around when your boss about. I went through something similar years ago with a friend, all just in the mind. Looked upon it as window shopping could dream and look but knew never happen feelings passed and life moved on. Good luck with it.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    You've got to create emotional boundaries. Distance yourself from your boss. You don't need to be "friends" with him. Don't flirt or be especially friendly. Keep talk straight to business, give short answers to personal questions. He should pick up on the vibes.
  • RunMyOregonBunsOff
    RunMyOregonBunsOff Posts: 862 Member
    I don't think that having feelings for or being attracted to somebody else is cheating...you are human. Thus said, you have free agency to act on or not to act on your feelings. From what you have said I highly doubt that you would act on those feelings (unless you have found in the past that you have a hard time holding them back or something). Is this the first time that you have felt something for somebody while in a healthy, committed realtionship? If so I can see why you would feel a little freaked out. Unless you really feel like you can't trust yourself to stay professional with him, then I say ride it out and don't do anything crazy. A job is hard enough to find right now let alone one that you really like and where you get along so well with your co-workers. That's a lot to give up for something that may pass as fast as it came.

    I had a simular thing happen with one of my bosses a few years back...nearly the exact same situation from what you have said but he was my married boss and I was in a long term relationship and neither one of us ever acted any different around the other than we did around anybody else. I could just kinda tell that there was a bit of a vibe there. No big deal. He is still married, I'm now married. It's all good!

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