Parents at fault for overweight children?

wjewell

Today I was at the Chiropractor and a little girl told her mom "I want an apple!" they had them sitting out along with some other fruit for patients to eat. Her mom just ignored her. Once again she told her mom "Mom, I want to eat an apple!" The girl was about 4-5 years old at most. After a few times of telling her how badly she wanted an apple, her mom replied "You want an apple? Wouldn't you rather have a big juicy burger or a nice pizza?" The girl said "no, I want an apple". The mom actually told her "No, it might ruin your appetite, we're going to get burgers when we leave". REALLY? It made me so disappointed.

I'm not saying that EVERY child that is over weight should blame their parents choices. However, I think in cases like this- the mom should have allowed her daughter the dang apple. I was chubby as a kid, I don't blame my parents. I'm definitely not saying that every parent with a chubby child is to blame for that. Obviously there are tons of reasons as to why children are chubby...But if you're denying your child fruit and making them eat greasy pizza and burgers.. shame on you. Okay, off my soapbox.

Thanks for letting me vent.

dakotababy

I absolutely blame parents 100% for overweight children. Children rely on parents to teach them healthy eating habits - not unhealthy eating habits! This is a shame, and that lady should be embarrassed.

I wish my parents taught me proper eating habits maybe things would have been a lot different for me.

Lift_hard_eat_big

I totally blame parents for overweight children. Just as I would blame parents if their children were malnourished .

slkehl

Yes, I think it's the parents fault up until a certain age, like junior high or high school when the kids earn their own cash and can buy food from school or while hanging out with friends. Parents should be restricting snacks and cooking healthy for their kids. There's really no excuse for them when it comes to their overweight kids.

sincerelyfckwit

100% true. Sadly enough, I partially have my parents to blame for my eating habits, as I don't have my own income, and I can't purchase the food that I know I need. Instead I work around their awful diets.

lyttlewon

Nothing annoys me more than going somewhere, the kids insisting on ordering food they are not hungry for, and then they waste it. They won't tell me they are too full for the food I am buying. My husband and I are obese and my children are not. Go figure.

ToughTulip

I absolutely blame parents 100% for overweight children. Children rely on parents to teach them healthy eating habits - not unhealthy eating habits! This is a shame, and that lady should be embarrassed.

I wish my parents taught me proper eating habits maybe things would have been a lot different for me.

Completely agree

nataliefamily3

I feel parents are at least 80% of the problem. Yes there are exceptions like health problems, other people feeding your kid crap, kid sneaks food etc. However A lot of people think kids don't like healthy foods or "adult" foods. There are ways to make good foods interesting and edible for kids. But also if every time you have a treat its ice cream oreos etc it is shown these are the yummiest and most desirable foods. If you treat fruit or healthy snacks as a treat so will your kids. Yes I do have a child btw.

HannahsBestLife

I remember talking about this at my pre-natal classes a few years back, supposedly the worst eating habit you can teach a child is to always finish everything on their plate.. So many parents do this so their child can't just be fussy and not eat their veges or whatever but supposedly this is why so many people have problems with portion control, because they are taught to finish everything on their plate whether they are full or not

Nicole_69

My parents have 6 kids & none of us were overweight! They were/still are very firm believers in getting outdoors & playing! The only reason why I gained weight is because my life changed after I got married. Long story short I'm busting my butt daily & I have my Dad to thank for helping me lose 35lbs before my husband came home from this past year. He would come home from work & workout with me everyday of the week. He's in the Army as well as my husband so he didn't have to do that but he still cares for his child even though i'm 22. I blame parents 100%.....why on earth would you tell a child no you can't have an apple.

It_never_ends

I blame parents until the kid hits15-16. At that point they can make there own choice. My parents didn't teach me anything about eating. There was food and we ate it. I eat very fast and I don't stop till i feel sick. I was never taught to eat slow, chew well and drink between bites. I still struggle with that as stupid as it seems.

Also candy was a way to "shut us up" When they wanted us out of the house they gave us money to go to the quick stop and buy candy. Fanta and fudge rounds were 50% of my diet till I was 13-14. Then I started to notice my diet was CRAP. I had always been fat and I thought that was just how I was till I started learning about nutrition in school. No joke.

mahlerosa

I see both sides...I want me kids to eat there dinner...even a healthy snack will ruin there apetites. But an apple is such a good choice... BUT in general we have a problem with our food supply. It is cheap food that is loaded with refined carbs and sugar. The food industry is killing us. Some people don't have access to healthy food. Please visit my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/WhyWereFat Have you see Dr Lustig's Sugar The Bitter Truth OR HBO's special? You can find the links on my page. I to am determined not to raise fat kids as I am battling it and have my whole life. But our Food industry must take some of the blame. They even put sugar on a "healthy" salad at McDonald's and Wendy's.

AZKristi

Yes, I judge the parent when the child is overweight because the parent is the one making the choices of what to buy or cook. Was this particular child overweight? I don't think you can judge a person's diet based on one conversation. Maybe the kid had already had plenty of fruit today and needed something with protein.

avir8

Today I was at the Chiropractor and a little girl told her mom "I want an apple!" they had them sitting out along with some other fruit for patients to eat. Her mom just ignored her. Once again she told her mom "Mom, I want to eat an apple!" The girl was about 4-5 years old at most. After a few times of telling her how badly she wanted an apple, her mom replied "You want an apple? Wouldn't you rather have a big juicy burger or a nice pizza?" The girl said "no, I want an apple". The mom actually told her "No, it might ruin your appetite, we're going to get burgers when we leave". REALLY? It made me so disappointed.

I'm not saying that EVERY child that is over weight should blame their parents choices. However, I think in cases like this- the mom should have allowed her daughter the dang apple. I was chubby as a kid, I don't blame my parents. I'm definitely not saying that every parent with a chubby child is to blame for that. Obviously there are tons of reasons as to why children are chubby...But if you're denying your child fruit and making them eat greasy pizza and burgers.. shame on you. Okay, off my soapbox.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Yes it's the parents fault. IMO childhood obesity is child abuse/ neglect. It is your job to provide your child with good health, as well as being able to take some time and teach them proper nutrition and exercise. No child should be suffering from preventable diseases like diabetes, respiratory problems etc.

Rae6503

I would, for the most part, say yes, parents are at fault. But I don't know the specifics in each circumstance so I try not to judge.

And yeah, fruit is the only thing I'll let my kids have before meals.

lyttlewon

Today I was at the Chiropractor and a little girl told her mom "I want an apple!" they had them sitting out along with some other fruit for patients to eat. Her mom just ignored her. Once again she told her mom "Mom, I want to eat an apple!" The girl was about 4-5 years old at most. After a few times of telling her how badly she wanted an apple, her mom replied "You want an apple? Wouldn't you rather have a big juicy burger or a nice pizza?" The girl said "no, I want an apple". The mom actually told her "No, it might ruin your appetite, we're going to get burgers when we leave". REALLY? It made me so disappointed.

I'm not saying that EVERY child that is over weight should blame their parents choices. However, I think in cases like this- the mom should have allowed her daughter the dang apple. I was chubby as a kid, I don't blame my parents. I'm definitely not saying that every parent with a chubby child is to blame for that. Obviously there are tons of reasons as to why children are chubby...But if you're denying your child fruit and making them eat greasy pizza and burgers.. shame on you. Okay, off my soapbox.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Yes it's the parents fault. IMO this is child abuse/ neglect. It is your job to provide your child with good health, as well as being able to take some time and teach them proper nutrition and exercise. No child should be suffering from preventable diseases like diabetes, respiratory problems etc.

Telling a kid they can't have an apple isn't child abuse. Good grief. Maybe the kid already at a ton of fruit that day.

SmileyFaceGuy

Yes, I think it's the parents fault up until a certain age, like junior high or high school when the kids earn their own cash and can buy food from school or while hanging out with friends. Parents should be restricting snacks and cooking healthy for their kids. There's really no excuse for them when it comes to their overweight kids.

Just because parents don't moderate the food intake of their older, self-sufficient children doesn't mean that they aren't responsible for the children's eating habits. I think being taught poor eating habits growing up puts you at a life-long disadvantage. If the poor eating habits are developed after they've started choosing their own food, then that's different.

Eve23

Wow that is an incredible and sad story. The child was making a healthy choice and the parent was making a not so great choice. Very sad indeed.

lilacsun

Usually it is the parents fault. My special needs daughter had a weight problem and is learning how to eat healthy and has lost 25 lbs so far.

Serenstar75

It's absolutely a parent's fault when a child is overweight. Sometimes the budget is hard on families too if there are many kids, but this mom was horrendous. My daughter was thin. She never really wants soda, candy, cake or anything like that. I taught her what to eat even though I was far from perfect. I grew up with cakes and cookies and I fought with that my whole life. I didn't want her to do that. She's 18 in a couple of days and she's thin. I encouraged her to be active as well and now I can only hope she stays with those healthy habits.

I do notice too, when it's a special needs child, things can be different. Body types, ability to get them to understand exercise, certain things like that. They changed my niece's intake greatly as she was a chubby bubby and now she's a little too thin, but it's all her heart can handle (at 7 years old.)

islandmonkey

I see both sides...I want me kids to eat there dinner...even a healthy snack will ruin there apetites.

I don't quite understand this whole "keep the kid hungry so they can eat when *I* say they can eat", and that feeding when they are hungry is somehow "ruining" their appetite?


Definition of appetite: "A natural desire to satisfy a bodily need, esp. for food"

So....we don't want to "ruin" this uncomfortable, hungry feeling for them? We want them to keep feeling hungry?


I just don't get it.

chattipatty2

Yes, yes, yes and yes. I have not read any comments. But in my RN opinion, and my own experience, my answer will always be yes. Feed your kids healthy at home. When they get older, they will have to make some decisions, and hopefully will make the right ones.

avir8

Yes it's the parents fault. IMO this is child abuse/ neglect. It is your job to provide your child with good health, as well as being able to take some time and teach them proper nutrition and exercise. No child should be suffering from preventable diseases like diabetes, respiratory problems etc.

Telling a kid they can't have an apple isn't child abuse. Good grief. Maybe the kid already at a ton of fruit that day.

Duh. I meant letting kids get obese is child abuse. Should have elaborated on that to make things clear.

Serenstar75

I remember talking about this at my pre-natal classes a few years back, supposedly the worst eating habit you can teach a child is to always finish everything on their plate.. So many parents do this so their child can't just be fussy and not eat their veges or whatever but supposedly this is why so many people have problems with portion control, because they are taught to finish everything on their plate whether they are full or not

For my daughter when getting her off of her grandma's kick of pizza and nuggets only and changing how she ate, she had to eat all veggies on her plate to get to the stuff she found desirable. Veggies were the only thing she had to eat before she could eat the rest and was able to stop and it was a reasonable portion. Kids do not need adult portions. Heck, I had issues too when my ex insisted on making plates for me then would guilt me into having to eat all of it. It was a horrible relationship. Now I'm losing weight, he's with a new wife and gaining.

lyttlewon

I see both sides...I want me kids to eat there dinner...even a healthy snack will ruin there apetites.

I don't quite understand this whole "keep the kid hungry so they can eat when *I* say they can eat", and that feeding when they are hungry is somehow "ruining" their appetite?


Definition of appetite: "A natural desire to satisfy a bodily need, esp. for food"

So....we don't want to "ruin" this uncomfortable, hungry feeling for them? We want them to keep feeling hungry?


I just don't get it.

Because some kids will refuse to eat anything but certain foods. My son will try to avoid eating dinner by offering to eat some broccoli. Does that mean broccoli is bad? No, but he needs to eat something other than broccoli for dinner.

hlinn01

I think parents have the power to teach their children healthy habits, and should do this. I can say that, yes I allow my children to have treats occasionally. I may let them each choose a candy bar at the grocery store. I however, usually only allow them to eat a fraction of it at one sitting. One candy bar may last my kids 4 days. I also like to put fresh fruit out where they can easily get to it. The candy gets put in a secret place, so I am in charge of when it gets eaten. I have a son who has juvenile diabetes. Let me make this clear, he did not get this due to weight. He is super skinny and always has been. Type one diabetes and Type two are completely different in some ways. It does mean that I do need to really watch and control what my kids eat. This should be every parents responsibility, regardless of the situation. I do like that an office had fruit out and not candy. I probably would have allowed the apple, but it would also depend on where my son's sugars were at, because an apple is one carb. choice, and if he was already on the high end, I probably would have said no, and a burger if not on a bun is 0 carbs., my son could have that, not saying that's exactly what I would do though.

bizorra

I was going to write out about how I don't think my parents were to blame for me gaining weight, then I realised that I started to pudge out after they got divorced! Yeah they taught me proper nutrition, too bad they couldn't have taught me how to deal with feelings in ways other than eating!!!

But its hard. I know my mom struggled walking the fine line between encouraging me to eat better but not harming my self esteem. My mother and grandmother both struggle with their weight. My Grandma is in her 90s and STILL carries baggage about how her mother crippled her self esteem for being heavy (she got her figure from her dad's side, and passed it right along lol).

InvidiaXII

Since kids don't have much say in what they eat-- they don't go to the store, buy their own food, or cook their own meals-- yeah I think it's the parents' fault in most cases. They're the ones making choices for their kids. Fat kids make me almost as sad as fat dogs and cats.

Rinkermann

under feeding is more understandable when you consider that people suffer from poverty and often struggle for food. however, watching your child gain more and more weight, and just doing nothing about it, takes a particularly callous individual.

let's face it, weight gain doesn't happen overnight. it's not one simple mistake made in the blink of an eye. it's a continuous and repeated neglect, day after day. here in the UK it is started to be looked at more and more as child abuse, and many schools run weight tests and flag the issue up with social services if need be. i think that is the way forward.

pain_is_weakness

unless there is a medical problem with a kid, or they are reconvering form an injury and they can't get around, I do blame all aprents for overweight kids. Once they hit about 12 and up they have more access to food outside the home but I tihnk parents shoudl mainly pack school lunches and pick and chese what days kids can eat at school as a treat. I also think that parents should not keep junk in the house, if I want something i go out and get it that way it isn't in the house for my kids to eat all at once, we indulge as a familyonce in a while. I do reward my 3 yr old who is autistic with fruit snacks (like a fruit roll up) once every day ot two as it is one thing he really looks forward to and the reward system is eay for him to understand.

I made my own babyfood for my son, breastfed for over a year, and my son is the only 3 yr old I know who will ask for a salad and grilled chicken for dinner. I let him have dressing and stuff like that because he is not dieting, still growing but his meals are balanced and nutritious. If only i ate what he eats I would not have a problem but . . thats another story. My son is tall for his age and looks skinny but his weight is good, he is just built thin. He asks for apples for snacks, loves raw veggies 9not cooked) and fruit.

Now, with that being said, he does love Happy meals at Mc Donads. We let him have one every Thursday (when my husband and I are both off we do a family day and Jaiden gets to chose where we eat) he eats 2 nuggets, the apples and the fries (and the new happy meals have real small fried cuz they come with apples now too yay) so I am in no way trying to say my son wouldn't eat junk all the time if I let him, I am saying I buy the food, i cook the food so really adults are the ones who control the diet.

Kids being overweight is a sad subject for me. I grew up with a mom who battled depression so she was kinda lazy,she was overweight and in turn bought fast food litterally 2 times a day, and what food she did "prepare" was frozen food and chips/sweets. to this day she eats like that. My borther and I have both taken control of our own diets. I do like taco bell still and I work 12-14 hours a day so i don't get to cook for myself often. But the food in my home is healthy 100%. I don't blame the kids, i feel sorry that they are being raised with poor habits!

LikesVeges

When my son was two, he was sitting in the grocery cart holding a sweet potato and looking at it with glee. The person behind me in line asked my how in the world I got my child to eat like that......ah... I said, "Well, he doesn't have his own money yet, so I'm in charge of buying his food."

I have struggled with my weight all of my children's lives, but I still taught them about good nutrition, shared my struggles with food and my desire for our family to be healthy. I am blessed, they are young adults, healthy,happy and w/o weight issues. (However, my girls exercise and curb treats when they are up a few pounds......I wish I was so strong!!)

However, I know it is hard, because so many parents just do not have the information..... and lot sof times, when they get it, their children are already used to junk food and that's hard to change w/o lots of pain.

When kids go to school it's hard to only eat healthy, cause other children share their knowlege of junk food. But, the best advice I can give is to start them with whole good food at a young age. At least while they are doubling in size from infants to school age. If they don't know it's out there, they eat what's before them (for the most part.....everyone, even children have their preferences).

Don't give up. The pain of obesity will only grow if we do not help the next generations.