I really need help...
Pandasarecool
Posts: 508 Member
Hi, I am a bit new here and I am so discouraged. I feel so fat and ugly all the time, I am so confused about workouts, and what to et and what not to eat. I beat myself up about having a cookie. I had a piece of pizza yesterday and felt so bad after that I cried. I am 136 pounds, 5'7" female. I really don't like exercise, and whatever I do, I just can't get myself to like it. I feel so horrible all the time, and even though I lost almost 30 pounds in 3 months, and people have told me it looks like I lost weight, I just can't see it. I look in the mirror and just see fat, and lose skin, and uglyness. I don't know what the heck to do anymore. My diary is open if you want to look. Any nutrition/exercise advise will be greatly appreciated. I just need to tell somebady my problems, I am having a really hard time going this by myself. Nobady will listen, and I don't know what to trust anymore. Sorry if I sound pitiful, I probably am. Feel free to ignore me if this sounds doumb. People just say I am overreacting, and I just need to suck it up, but I just can't. I feel like the fattest thing around. Please help.
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Replies
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You probably are suffering from BDD. This is curable, but you need to see your doctor and explain what you just said here.0
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You probably are suffering from BDD. This is curable, but you need to see your doctor and explain what you just said here.
I am just afraid she will not listen, and just tell me its all in my head...0 -
You probably are suffering from BDD. This is curable, but you need to see your doctor and explain what you just said here.
I am just afraid she will not listen, and just tell me its all in my head...
136 lbs at 5'7 is not fat. But hearing from random people off of the internet that you're not fat is probably not going to convince you. Talk to a doctor that specializes in things that go on "in your head"- a therapist. Body dysmorphic disorder is a a real thing, and if your doctor brushes it off, you should find another doctor. I'd suggest you talk to someone before your problem gets out of control.0 -
You probably are suffering from BDD. This is curable, but you need to see your doctor and explain what you just said here.
I am just afraid she will not listen, and just tell me its all in my head...
136 lbs at 5'7 is not fat. But hearing from random people off of the internet that you're not fat is probably not going to convince you. Talk to a doctor that specializes in things that go on "in your head"- a therapist. Body dysmorphic disorder is a a real thing, and if your doctor brushes it off, you should find another doctor. I'd suggest you talk to someone before your problem gets out of control.
But what if I really am fat and its not all in my head? Then I will sound like more of an idiot than I already am going up to a doctor, "I'm not fat, I just think I am..." Sorry if I am hopeless, but I am...0 -
I'm 5'9" and 115lbs...having lost like 25lbs unintentionally due to stress and stuff like that, I know exactly how you feel. I look in the mirror and all I see is fat...sometimes I can even just -feel- it all over my body. Same deal. But your bmi is 21.3, right smack in the middle of normal. There's no way you're fat, which means it's almost definitely BDD. Talk to your doctor and perhaps, if you can, get a nutritionist. The doctor can prescribe you something like Prozac which helps IMMENSELY and a nutritionist can give you a highly personalized mealplan to take some of the guesswork out of eating, although a quick look at your diary shows you're already eating quite well.
Oh and feel free to add me if you want a friend in the same boat. (:0 -
In my opinion you need to run not walk to your doctor. You definitely have a problem. It will escalate into something even bigger than it already is. Regardless if it is BDD or not you have an issue. It is in your head, but they have medicine and therapy for things like that. Be proactive GET HELP!0
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I went through almost the exact sme situation a few years ago. I hated exercise so I struggled with eating disorders losing upwards of 60lbs. Even though I was 5'6" at 125lbs I still felt like that 60lbs was there. I struggled for a while, even when i had people tellig me i was too skinny. For me it took time and faith to heal the negatative perspective I had about myself. I agree with the posts above that maybe seeing a doctor is best. I will say though that you are beautiful no matter what weight! However I am sure you look stunning at the weight you are now
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Please go see a doctor. Keep searching until you find one who listens to you.0
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I was in your situation in college (7ish years ago) and what got me out of it was counseling, group therapy, antidepressants (for about a year), and time. I never have thoughts like that anymore, and I have grown to really love my body. I am losing weight now the healthy way, and I love this journey and feel really great about myself, even though I know I'm not perfect. I really feel for you, and I know how hopeless it feels. Please get the help that you need, and know that we are always here for you. Feel free to friend me!0
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I'm 5'9" and 115lbs...having lost like 25lbs unintentionally due to stress and stuff like that, I know exactly how you feel. I look in the mirror and all I see is fat...sometimes I can even just -feel- it all over my body. Same deal. But your bmi is 21.3, right smack in the middle of normal. There's no way you're fat, which means it's almost definitely BDD. Talk to your doctor and perhaps, if you can, get a nutritionist. The doctor can prescribe you something like Prozac which helps IMMENSELY and a nutritionist can give you a highly personalized mealplan to take some of the guesswork out of eating, although a quick look at your diary shows you're already eating quite well.
Oh and feel free to add me if you want a friend in the same boat. (:
You are already at least 10Ibs underweight, and lost the weight unintentionally, yet are still aiming to lose more weight?
Do you not think you should be talking to your doctor as well ?0 -
I felt really depressed for a long time and finally went to my doc who was a great help. They did a really straightforward questionnaire with me which gave me a score on the depression scale and prescribed Fluoxetine (prozac) and counselling. 3 months on and I feel great, I even have the motivation to start trying to lose weight which i've never been able to do before :happy:
I am 5"8 and 260lbs, a BMI of 39 and in the very obese category, so I really am fat but the medication and counselling are helping me to realise that it is just a body shape and I can do something about it. I may not have a great body now but I'm starting to believe it could happen one day which is a good feeling.
Speak to your doctor, it really can't make it any worse and it just might help you!0 -
Thanks guys, I'm going to talk to a friend of mine who is really into nutrition and that stuff and maybe have her help me. Thanks again, you are all great, I just wish I could bring myself to believe you... Sorry, but I WILL try to find help...0
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I have been feeling so crappy all week, and I know I need to strength train, but I have no will power or energy.0
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I agree with what everyone has said about seeing a doctor. He/she can really help you and I can promise that it won't even be the first time she's heard it. People tell doctors all kinds of things!
Second, this might not be popular but it works for me. I believe that self esteem comes from doing esteemable acts. You can't lose your way into feeling good about yourself. You have to change your perspective. Start doing things to help others.
I used to suffer from horrible low self esteem until someone pointed out how self centered it is. I was constantly thinking about myself and how awful I was. What changed my perspective and started trying to find a way to help someone else every single day, I suddenly noticed that I wasn't thinking as much about myself. I also felt proud of how I was able to help someone. Then, I started seeing myself as a valuable person regardless of my weight because I tried hard to help others.
There's lots of esteemable acts you can do. It can be anything from allowing a hassled mom with kids to go in front of you in the grocery line to volunteering at a soup kitchen, animal shelter, etc. You'll walk away knowing that you made at least one person's day better. Everyone can contribute something valuable to society, I seriously doubt you are the one exception in the entire world. Just think about what you can do, even if it's something small.0 -
And what if the 30 pounds I lost is only water weight?0
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You did not lose 30 pounds of water weight... unless you were some sort of water balloon beforehand lol.
Body issues are not always about weight. Our frame really details how much weight is really best for us. Skinnier frames hold less weight while larger frames hold more and both could look the same weight at the same height despite one being heavier than the other.
If you feel depressed over your looks, and notice you are in a healthy or even underweight BMI, it may be because body composition. Actually gaining weight may make you look skinnier! The weight gained would have to be muscle. It would firm up your butt, thighs, waist, and everywhere. It would create a better overall figure (one that actually LOOKS slimmer too), but would mean the number on the scale goes up. As well, would also mean you could eat more throughout the day.
A lot of time, skinnier people feel fat because they don't have enough muscle on them. This makes skin look a little flabby and also shows off what body fat you do have, more.
Use MFP as a tool to ensure you do eat enough, and it will also help you NOT feel bad about what you eat. When you see you eat a piece of pizza and still have lots of calories left over for the day, you realize that it is TOTALLY FINE!
Definitely feel free to talk to friends, family, and even professionals about your body issues.0 -
You did not lose 30 pounds of water weight... unless you were some sort of water balloon beforehand lol.
Body issues are not always about weight. Our frame really details how much weight is really best for us. Skinnier frames hold less weight while larger frames hold more and both could look the same weight at the same height despite one being heavier than the other.
If you feel depressed over your looks, and notice you are in a healthy or even underweight BMI, it may be because body composition. Actually gaining weight may make you look skinnier! The weight gained would have to be muscle. It would firm up your butt, thighs, waist, and everywhere. It would create a better overall figure (one that actually LOOKS slimmer too), but would mean the number on the scale goes up. As well, would also mean you could eat more throughout the day.
A lot of time, skinnier people feel fat because they don't have enough muscle on them. This makes skin look a little flabby and also shows off what body fat you do have, more.
Use MFP as a tool to ensure you do eat enough, and it will also help you NOT feel bad about what you eat. When you see you eat a piece of pizza and still have lots of calories left over for the day, you realize that it is TOTALLY FINE!
Definitely feel free to talk to friends, family, and even professionals about your body issues.
But I feel that if I eat more and not exercise like crazy, I will just gain fat. I don't exercise I whole lot because I don't have time orwill power. Usually just a 30 minute brisk walk now and then.0 -
You did not lose 30 pounds of water weight... unless you were some sort of water balloon beforehand lol.
Body issues are not always about weight. Our frame really details how much weight is really best for us. Skinnier frames hold less weight while larger frames hold more and both could look the same weight at the same height despite one being heavier than the other.
If you feel depressed over your looks, and notice you are in a healthy or even underweight BMI, it may be because body composition. Actually gaining weight may make you look skinnier! The weight gained would have to be muscle. It would firm up your butt, thighs, waist, and everywhere. It would create a better overall figure (one that actually LOOKS slimmer too), but would mean the number on the scale goes up. As well, would also mean you could eat more throughout the day.
A lot of time, skinnier people feel fat because they don't have enough muscle on them. This makes skin look a little flabby and also shows off what body fat you do have, more.
Use MFP as a tool to ensure you do eat enough, and it will also help you NOT feel bad about what you eat. When you see you eat a piece of pizza and still have lots of calories left over for the day, you realize that it is TOTALLY FINE!
Definitely feel free to talk to friends, family, and even professionals about your body issues.0 -
If you talk to your doctor and he tells you it's all in your head tell them this: Yes - I know! That's the problem, and I need help fixing that - please give me a referral to see a specialist!
My heart feels sad that you are feeling so bad about this - please seek some professional help - it can be soooooo worth it!0 -
Just a thought --- if you are really feeling this way and posting on the internet, I'm suspecting that your body image issues are wrapped up in a more severe psychological disorder -- i say this as a trained psychologist. I would recommend seeking help.0
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But I feel that if I eat more and not exercise like crazy, I will just gain fat. I don't exercise I whole lot because I don't have time orwill power. Usually just a 30 minute brisk walk now and then.
What you are doing is encouraging your body to tear down your muscle. Losing weight this way will make you "skinny fat" where you are a "healthy" BMI range, but have a lot of extra fat and very little muscle. Some people may be shorter and heavier than you and look skinnier because they have more muscle.
You need to eat more, especially protein, to ensure you can keep some muscle. As well, throw out your brisk walk and pick up lifting some weights instead. When you eat so little, your body looks at what it can get rid of first that uses up the most energy. Since you don't use your muscles, your body says those should be the number 1 thing to go.
So, more weight training, more protein. Nobody got their bodies they way they are over night. Do it right, do it slow. This will get you life long results.0 -
But I feel that if I eat more and not exercise like crazy, I will just gain fat. I don't exercise I whole lot because I don't have time orwill power. Usually just a 30 minute brisk walk now and then.
What you are doing is encouraging your body to tear down your muscle. Losing weight this way will make you "skinny fat" where you are a "healthy" BMI range, but have a lot of extra fat and very little muscle. Some people may be shorter and heavier than you and look skinnier because they have more muscle.
You need to eat more, especially protein, to ensure you can keep some muscle. As well, throw out your brisk walk and pick up lifting some weights instead. When you eat so little, your body looks at what it can get rid of first that uses up the most energy. Since you don't use your muscles, your body says those should be the number 1 thing to go.
So, more weight training, more protein. Nobody got their bodies they way they are over night. Do it right, do it slow. This will get you life long results.
Do you possibly have a weight training routine that I could follow? Using only 8 lb. weights?0 -
Do you possibly have a weight training routine that I could follow? Using only 8 lb. weights?
I don't. I suggest posting in the Fitness section asking for a beginners guide to weight lifting for women. And you'll need more than 8 pounds. You have to USE the muscles.
Do not be afraid of muscle weight, cuz it looks WAYYY better on girls. Once, on these very forums, a girl posted she gained 10 pounds in muscle... she looked skinnier and her butt look like it got a lift!
Many girls here lift weights. They will LOVE to help you get started. As well, don't worry about getting all bulky. Girls that get that way spend well over a decade to do so and usually require drugs to get that way.0 -
You are not eating enough calories that's why you don't have the energy or motivation to exercise. You leave 300-500 calories a day uneaten! You need to try to eat those back with healthy choices. Nuts a re a good one 2 handfuls of raw almonds for snacks and you're there! Over the weekend try to add a 100 calories every other day to your intake until you get to where youa re eating close to what MFP says you need. You'll hve more energy for sure.0
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I'm hearing a lot of BUT from you: "Great advise, BUT" "I probably need to go to a doctor, BUT" "I need to exercise, BUT" You obviously know what needs to be done, but are CHOOSING not to do it. Depression can cause mental and physical pain, and make you think you don't have choices, BUT YOU DO.
What you have written clearly indicates that you need to seek professional help. This is not a sign of weakness, but that you are in over your head. If I crashed my car today, I would not try to fix it myself, I would go to a professional. If my brain is "broken" I'm going to get professional help too. Don't talk to your friends or family about it, they can not give you an objective opinion. You must seek help from a doctor - start with a medical doctor and get thee to a psychologist/psychiatrist soon after.
There is a well of strength hiding in you. Uncover it. Be the HEALTHIEST (not the thinnest, not the most muscled, but the healthiest mind, body & soul) you can be. Peace to you!0 -
Do you possibly have a weight training routine that I could follow? Using only 8 lb. weights?
I don't. I suggest posting in the Fitness section asking for a beginners guide to weight lifting for women. And you'll need more than 8 pounds. You have to USE the muscles.
Do not be afraid of muscle weight, cuz it looks WAYYY better on girls. Once, on these very forums, a girl posted she gained 10 pounds in muscle... she looked skinnier and her butt look like it got a lift!
Many girls here lift weights. They will LOVE to help you get started. As well, don't worry about getting all bulky. Girls that get that way spend well over a decade to do so and usually require drugs to get that way.
Unfortuinitly, all I have access to are 8 pound weights.0 -
But I feel that if I eat more and not exercise like crazy, I will just gain fat. I don't exercise I whole lot because I don't have time or will power. Usually just a 30 minute brisk walk now and then.
I think we all feel this way from time to time. We have had it pounded into our heads by everyone-- the media, the diet industry, our doctors, our family--that if we cut back on calories we will lose weight. This is not necessarily true. I had a few moments recently where I was getting nowhere with my plan, feeling tired and achy, but still had some anxiety about adding in more calories. The day after I increased my calorie consumption by 300 (healthy, whole foods) calories my weight dropped half a pound. My muscles are starting to gain definition, and my fitness performance has increased in real and measurable ways with decreased lap times and better strength.
What you are experiencing is something of a short circuit of that minor anxiety that I experienced. You need to think about like any other illness or injury you may have. Would you go see your friend to help you set a broken arm? Would you ask your family for help with an infection or virus? You should also not rely on friends and family for mental health issues. BDD takes work to get over, and it sounds like you need someone who knows and understands the issues and treatment options.
Here is a forum dedicated to BDD: http://bddcentral.com/forums/
Please seek help from a professional. I guarantee you'll wonder what took you so long, and kick yourself for waiting.0 -
I think you said you just wanted to tone (in another post maybe) so 8lbs is fine for that....
IF YOU EAT ENOUGH!!!
You are not eating enough your body is hongry and you need to feed it beofre you even consider lifting one of those weight off the floor.
You aid you had a nuttitionist friend....show them your diary and I bet they will tell you the same thing your body needs more fuel to get the results you want.0 -
I think you said you just wanted to tone (in another post maybe) so 8lbs is fine for that....
Are you sure 8 lbs is enough to tone? I am hearing many people say it is not enough. I don't care if I get a lot of muscle or not (it would be nice, butt...) I just don't want to be as flabby.0 -
It's definitely enough to start with. You mean 8 pound dumbells, am I right?I think you said you just wanted to tone (in another post maybe) so 8lbs is fine for that....
Are you sure 8 lbs is enough to tone? I am hearing many people say it is not enough. I don't care if I get a lot of muscle or not (it would be nice, butt...) I just don't want to be as flabby.0
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