Unfair Trainer
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He's a douche, she's a bitch....
tell them both to GTFO and go it on your own.
You're better than that, you don't need them.
^ love you.0 -
Going to the gym shouldn't be about relationships between you and anyone else; it's about getting to know yourself and pushing your limits. You're getting so caught up in the drama that your workout partner and trainer are causing, that your own workouts are suffering.
I say ditch them both and get your own trainer that focuses on YOU. To leave you alone is ridiculous. You could get seriously hurt if you end up doing an exercise incorrectly, or you at least won't get the most out of your workout. I get mad at mine when he messes up counting my reps. He'd be b****ed out in the middle of the weight room if he told me to go work out on my own for a bit. :laugh:0 -
Ditch them both. You have better things to do with your time and you have already proven you are capable of working out better on your own.0
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He's a douche, she's a bitch....
tell them both to GTFO and go it on your own.
You're better than that, you don't need them.
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First of all, if you are paying half of the fee for the trainer then you are being ripped off I think. Are you being dramatic it sounds like internally yes. Unless you have had and outward explosion about this then no.
The unprofessional behavior needs to be reported to the appropriate owner/manager of your gym.
Your training partner has a different agenda then you do.
Drop both but keep it classy not trashy0 -
If you're paying for this trainer, this is a problem. In your situation, I'd be stopping payments and looking to get my money back.
If your'e not paying for the trainer, then there's a simple solution. Leave your friend to work with the trainer while you work out alone - or get another training partner or your own trainer, whatever you prefer. But obviously it's not working for you to work out with this particular trainer and your friend.0 -
Drop that trainer with a quickness. Not professional of fit to train AT ALL! You are suppose to feel 100% comfortable with this person. Your bond is important. Leave this and find someone better or simply train yourself.0
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I definitely appreciate the honesty everyone!
To answer a few questions:
My training partner is a very close friend, but we may as well be married by the way we act sometimes. (Let's just say looking at another woman is a bad idea in her presence.) I do support her endeavors (like going back to school to become a nurse), and she is supportive of my endeavors as well, including my weight loss goal -- the reason we joined the gym together in the first place.
We are splitting the cost for the training sessions. In conjunction with not getting a benefit from the trainer that I cannot get along with, I agree that it is best to stop paying for the services.
There's been several times that I couldn't focus for that reason. I do need another gym partner.0 -
in all seriousness, if you were paying for half the trainer, i'd be really upset. the way you said that your partner got the trainer is kind of ambiguous.
it is really unprofessional that the trainer is not devoting enough time to both clients, however i would've gone up to him a lot sooner and tell him that you feel he is not devoting enough time to him.
i know that i've worked with three different personal trainers, and while the first two were good, the last one was incredible. maybe it was because i finally had clear goals in mind, and already a bit of a foundation of fitness, but whatever. the trainer i had was great, and showed me a lot, and never sent me off to go on the arm machines. matter of fact, the first thing i told my trainer was "no machines, just free weights."0 -
I definitely appreciate the honesty everyone!
To answer a few questions:
My training partner is a very close friend, but we may as well be married by the way we act sometimes. (Let's just say looking at another woman is a bad idea in her presence.) I do support her endeavors (like going back to school to become a nurse), and she is supportive of my endeavors as well, including my weight loss goal -- the reason we joined the gym together in the first place.
We are splitting the cost for the training sessions. In conjunction with not getting a benefit from the trainer that I cannot get along with, I agree that it is best to stop paying for the services.
There's been several times that I couldn't focus for that reason. I do need another gym partner.
Are you sure you need a gym partner first of all?
I agree that you shouldn't pay for a service if you're not benefiting from the service. But, one method COULD be to chat with the trainer, or your partner, or both.
Also, it sounds to me like your partner first hired the trainer so that you guys would learn the proper way to use the machines and proper lifting technique. But it sounds like the trainer isn't providing that? Are you actually spending time learning what you wanted to learn, or are you spending half your session on ab training (lol).0 -
He's a douche, she's a bitch....
tell them both to GTFO and go it on your own.
You're better than that, you don't need them.
Love this!0 -
I definitely appreciate the honesty everyone!
To answer a few questions:
My training partner is a very close friend, but we may as well be married by the way we act sometimes. (Let's just say looking at another woman is a bad idea in her presence.) I do support her endeavors (like going back to school to become a nurse), and she is supportive of my endeavors as well, including my weight loss goal -- the reason we joined the gym together in the first place.
We are splitting the cost for the training sessions. In conjunction with not getting a benefit from the trainer that I cannot get along with, I agree that it is best to stop paying for the services.
There's been several times that I couldn't focus for that reason. I do need another gym partner.
Are you sure you need a gym partner first of all?
I agree that you shouldn't pay for a service if you're not benefiting from the service. But, one method COULD be to chat with the trainer, or your partner, or both.
Also, it sounds to me like your partner first hired the trainer so that you guys would learn the proper way to use the machines and proper lifting technique. But it sounds like the trainer isn't providing that? Are you actually spending time learning what you wanted to learn, or are you spending half your session on ab training (lol).
To be honest, I probably don't need a gym partner. I'm focused enough to do what I need to in order to reach my goals. It makes a workout go by quicker and more smoothly when you have a good partner. But as I'm learning, the workouts go painfully slower when there are issues.
Already tried talking to the partner, but "ruined her day" by doing so.
It does seem like I'm spending half my session on "ab training". Rather just burn on the treadmill/elliptical/stair climber, and do my weight training, alternating areas based on the day (upper body, core, lower body). When my upper body strength improves, then I will attempt the hardcore stuff.
For the abs, most exercises, I can do, provided that the balance doesn't involve my arms.0 -
I definitely appreciate the honesty everyone!
To answer a few questions:
My training partner is a very close friend, but we may as well be married by the way we act sometimes. (Let's just say looking at another woman is a bad idea in her presence.) I do support her endeavors (like going back to school to become a nurse), and she is supportive of my endeavors as well, including my weight loss goal -- the reason we joined the gym together in the first place.
We are splitting the cost for the training sessions. In conjunction with not getting a benefit from the trainer that I cannot get along with, I agree that it is best to stop paying for the services.
There's been several times that I couldn't focus for that reason. I do need another gym partner.
Are you sure you need a gym partner first of all?
I agree that you shouldn't pay for a service if you're not benefiting from the service. But, one method COULD be to chat with the trainer, or your partner, or both.
Also, it sounds to me like your partner first hired the trainer so that you guys would learn the proper way to use the machines and proper lifting technique. But it sounds like the trainer isn't providing that? Are you actually spending time learning what you wanted to learn, or are you spending half your session on ab training (lol).
To be honest, I probably don't need a gym partner. I'm focused enough to do what I need to in order to reach my goals. It makes a workout go by quicker and more smoothly when you have a good partner. But as I'm learning, the workouts go painfully slower when there are issues.
Already tried talking to the partner, but "ruined her day" by doing so.
It does seem like I'm spending half my session on "ab training". Rather just burn on the treadmill/elliptical/stair climber, and do my weight training, alternating areas based on the day (upper body, core, lower body). When my upper body strength improves, then I will attempt the hardcore stuff.
For the abs, most exercises, I can do, provided that the balance doesn't involve my arms.
Core training has it's place but if you're spending full workouts on your core, or spending half of your session sitting on a bosu ball or doing planks, your trainer is not doing you any services and you could just go get a video with some chick in spandex and accomplish pretty much the same waste of time that you are in the gym, only with a video you'd at least get hot chicks in spandex.
Seriously though, you should be lifting, heavy. Your trainer should be showing you how to do this.
Create a calorie deficit through diet and add in some cardio to help with this, but the gym session should be mostly about moving heavy *kitten*, if your goal is to look good naked.0 -
I think you already know what you want but it is how to do it that has you bothered because you know it will bother the 'friend'. I took a communication course a few years ago and in it was told men do not like confrontation. So, I do not think it is the fact of trying to figure out if you have grounds to dismiss this trainer...because you already know you want to do it, it is the how to do it with minimum damage to your friend. Just get it over with...you already seem to have an exercise plan in place that works for you. If she is really your friend, well she'll be there at the end of all of this no matter what decision you make. Ultimately, you have to do what is healthy for you. Best wishes!0
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Screw her. It's your body, youy health and your life. Take control of it on your own and ditch her.0
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Honestly, it sounds like you're being a little wimpy here. What's wrong with speaking up to your friend and/or trainer and tell them what you want. Maybe they think you're perfectly happy right now. They can't read your mind, so just speak up with confidence. If you can't do that, then perhaps you need to hire your own trainer and ditch the friend and go solo. Group- and partner-training isn't for everyone, so don't feel bad if it didn't work out.
Also, a usual, SideSteel is spot on (heavy lifting vs. spending a lot of time with core/cardio with your trainer).0 -
Just tell her that you've realized that as two different people with very different needs, you've realized trying to work out together and share a trainer just isn't working for you. Don't make it about her or what the trainer did, just tell her it isn't working.0
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Dump your "partner," pay for a trainer yourself if you can afford it, and get your own ride to the gym, or join a new gym.
Even with two people with the exact same fitness needs who get along a shared session would be tricky. The time goes by fast.0 -
This is why I'd never do group training... way to may issues like you are having can come up!
I'd say, ditch the trainer and your friend... and find someone who will work with you and you alone!
What she said..... annnnd~ think about being more assertive and setting boundaries with people. I hate to say it, and maybe I am not going to say this delicately enough, BUT, sounds like you are a doormat who, when he speaks up gets kicked around for being uppity.
Perhaps do some meditations on this.0 -
Was the trainer aware that you're splitting the costs? I mean...your partner hired the trainer as one person and then you showed up. Not saying it's your fault but it sounds like you guys tried to get a 2 for 1 deal without talking to the trainer. He is focusing on her probably because that's who he originally had the contract with.
I would say...if you still want a trainer fire this one and consult the new trainer together so you both get what you're looking for. IDK too many trainers that are ok with sideswiped 2 for 1 deals.
Take a few days and workout on your own. Good Luck! You Can do it!0
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