No one is supportive!
Options
Replies
-
My partner eats terribly and I saw in his future the health problems your husband has now. Getting him to even vaguely see my way has been an uphill struggle and has been going on for two years. Only this weekdn did I seem to make a breakthrough when I pointed out weight he'd lost before with very little effort (that he's since put back on) and that my reasons for trying to get him to change his eating habits was because I love him and want us to spend a long life together and for both of us to be able to enjoy our lives for years to come, not just because I was being a nag or wanting things my way. I suggested some meals that would help and now we're aiming to eat better and eat together more often.
Yesterday for the first time in I don't know how long he took the initiative to eat a decent dinner instead of a pizza or Southern Fried chicken fillets and chips.0 -
My heart goes out to you. My hubby is supportive but has seen me yo yo enough to wonder if this is going to stick this time. However I've noticed since he found out I was really working at this (I had been doing it for almost 2 weeks at the time) he has made it a competition. It makes me so upset. He can like many men loose weight really fast. I'm not going to argue with him if it's 1 or 2 servings of food he's eating but he keeps going on about it. Praying you and I can win this battle and come out victorious!0
-
Just continue to lead by example and stay the course
. Cook healthy and when your family asks you what did u make to eat? Tell them "take it or leave it".
That doesn't always work though. My partner just took to buying a load of processed crap and cooking it separately to my meals. Not only was he eating terribly (and putting on weight) but it killed us having a meal time together.0 -
My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.
My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.
Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.
I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.
And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.0 -
It's not your husband or kids responsibility to get you healthy, that's all up to YOU! So he brings home cheesecake? Plan a small piece into your day if you really like it. If not, tell him thanks but no thanks, I don't want that right now.
My husband doesn't have a weight problem and I don't expect him to diet with me. I cook one dinner but add more to his--potatoes, stuffing, dessert, etc. I eat what I want and lose weight, everyone's happy.
Stop expecting your family to be on your diet. It's not about them, it's about you. Take control of what goes in your mouth and stop blaming others.0 -
My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.
My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.
Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.
I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.
And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.
That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.0 -
It takes time to instigate change, especially with kids who have been used to a particular type of food. Kids in general don't like change, so it may just be the unfamiliarity they are reacting against.
Have you talked to your husband about how genuinely worried you are about his health? I mean, not in a nagging way, but in a "I'm worried I'm going to lose you" kind of way. He's a father, too - would he really want to leave his kids without a dad? I'm guessing he's in denial about his health problems and the impact they could have on his family, or he would be doing soemthing about it, stat. Maybe he would be open to making healthier versions of his favourite foods? I dunno, I tried that one with my ex and he didn't think there was any point in it because the whole point of his favourite foods was that they were unhealthy, so it doesn't work for everyone. Some people have to do it by learning to eat different stuff and keeping their favourites for a treat.0 -
Your husband is a grown man. He can make all of his own decisions. If it is his choice to not be a supportive husband, then that is the type of husband he will chose to be.
You are your own person. I read on your profile that you have been on and off of diets since the 8th grade. Your children are learning life-long lessons about food from you today. Take care of your kids. They will learn to enjoy healthy food. They are too young to truly know the difference. Ignore their complaints and soon enough they will follow.
Finally, take care of you. You are a grown adult who makes all of her own decisions. If you choose to be healthy, then I believe you have made a great choice. You may just have to find your support elsewhere via online groups and active community groups.0 -
He's probably not going to get on board. He has to do it for him, & you nagging him to eat well isn't going to do good things for your relationship. Cook what YOU want to eat for dinner. Feed it to him too. If he complains, tell him he can cook his own meals if he wants to eat that way. He'll either a) eat healthy but only when you cook it for him, or b) start cooking/buying his own crap.
Stop buying the garbage when you grocery shop. Tell him he can go & pick it up himself. Don't moderate your lifestyle to suit him. It NEVER works in relationships... people get bitter & angry about that sort of thing, & it never works out.
If he loves you, he'll support you in whatever you do. If he loves the food, he'll find a way to eat it. Even if it means eating himself to death. You're not going to stop him. I know it's hard, but you will likely have to watch him kill himself with food. Hopefully if a heart attack comes, it'll be a mild one & a wake-up call. Unfortunately, that's the best thing for most people in poor heatlh. Scaring the daylights out of them.0 -
If you buy the groceries they have no choice, remember that!!! lol My family struggled with it at first too, but then I started cookin' up some pretty tasty, but healthy, food and they realized it wasn't so bad.
Just keep on trying and don't give up! Have u ever tried skinnytaste.com? their recipes are awesome!0 -
My husband didn't get on board until he saw the changes that my body was going thru, and that what I was doing was indeed working. That motivated him to get moving and start eating healthier. Don't get me wrong... he still sees that I have cheat days/ meals and that I don't always eat the cleanest, but he also sees me get up early and work out. He knows that I am working for the results. But it does make it easier that he is trying to be healthier, too.0
-
My mother is diabetic, I got her a great diabetic magazine (Diabetic Cooking) and even my dad loves the meals and desserts that come out of it. He never complains at what she cooks.
I would really look into something like this, you won't change the way he eats overnight, going from pizza and cheesecake to 3 bean casserole and flaxseed brownies is going to lead to massive resistance.
But if you are making grilled chicken, with homemade fruit salsa is going to be delicious and not going to seem as though it's a drastic change.
Sorry nobody at home is supportive, but you cannot force someone into changes they don't want.0 -
My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.
My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.
Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.
I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.
And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.
That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.
If she's none the wiser who is it hurting? I went away on vacation and forgot to pack up my fruits that I had just bought, I told my dad to go by and get them to eat them so they didn't go to waste, he didn't and I was pissed, he said I didn't want them, he said would it have been better if I went and got them and threw them away, I said yes, then I wouldn't know that the money went to waste. If the friend doesn't know that the food wasn't eaten, who cares.0 -
Yes we are here to support you! No worries. Because you are leading by example, the will eventually follow suit (well at least if they know what's good for them.lol) Health is the fountain of youth :flowerforyou:0
-
Correct. It is rude as heck. But, this is my life. I want to keep it going for a long long time. I think for them to bring their diabetes, high blood pressure, life shortening crap into my space is rude too. It is all how you look at it.My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.
My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.
Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.
I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.
And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.
That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.
I want them to live long healthy lives too. If they don't want it, they can do it in the many hours they aren't here.
I really have a problem taking about my need for weightloss. Or even opening the door to them talking me out of it.0 -
My hubby and kids and friends all seem like they don't want me to get healthy...I think they don't like the healthier foods I'm making and I just don't have a clue what's wrong with my husband. He has diabetes, high blood pressure and high cholesterol and continues to eat all the wrong things and refuses to exercise.I know he works hard at work and it's a physically demanding job but it's not exercise He will eventually die from this if he doesn't change..Much of our lives has revolved around food but it's time to change and it seems no one is on board except me. And the harder I try, the more everyone tries to get me to eat!!! My husband has actually brought home cheesecake (2!) when I was doing this last time. Or he will buy a gyros( my favorite but horrible) Maybe everyone misses the things we did that revolved around food but change is good. I don't know, at least I can get some support here
My husband has CHF and is around 400 lbs, he needs to lose to and tells me all the time he needs to do my diet, but he doesn't. This disease will kill him sooner rather than later and he's one of the reasons I started on this journey hoping he'd see it and do it too. And like your husband he's brought home cheesecake (a whole cheesecake) and he knows how much I love cheesecake, but I never touched it and he's never brought home another one. We have similar tastes cause I adore Gyro's also. I just have a couple pieces of the meat and move on. And that actually statifies my taste buds for it. I let him do his own thing. He's grown and can decide for himself, but since I don't cook his food he does it all. I don't ask him to eat my food so he can't complain and now he just smiles at me when his friends makes comments on what I've lost. He's proud of me. And he says it often. I just hope he'll start his own lifestyle change soon. But he has to want to.0 -
Sometimes you have to be the example. If it comes down to it, buy your own foods and separate them from your family's. Yeah, it will be tough, but if you're serious about this, it will work out. Not everyone will be on board but I think you should respect their decisions as well. I mean, think about it, at one time you allowed this behavior, and you participated in it. Old habits die hard and some don't die at all.
I think once they see PHYSICAL changes in you, they will either jump on board, or they won't. That's just something you'll have to live with. I'm sad about your husband, and how he's not getting it. I know you're worried, you don't want him to die, etc. However, if he's not ready, he's not going to change at all. Perhaps you can take him on a life changing trip to a hospital, or look up some scared straight places that show people what happens when you don't take care of your body. I'm sure he doesn't want his limbs cut off so he can't work! Diabetes is no joke but you can't force him to change. Be the example.0 -
Correct. It is rude as heck. But, this is my life. I want to keep it going for a long long time. I think for them to bring their diabetes, high blood pressure, life shortening crap into my space is rude too. It is all how you look at it.My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.
My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.
Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.
I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.
And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.
That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.
I want them to live long healthy lives too. If they don't want it, they can do it in the many hours they aren't here.
I really have a problem taking about my need for weightloss. Or even opening the door to them talking me out of it.
So just tell them that you'd rather they not bring the foods you don't have in the house, or have them take the food away with them so they can enjoy their diabetes etc. The waste of food and money to just bin it doesn't sit well with me. It's just the way I am.0 -
There are so many good suggestions already posted.
My husband is overweight but not obese and has high blood pressure and triglycerides. He watches me log my food diary, seems pleased that I've lost about 9 pounds, but doesn't want to do MFP or count calories at all. I showed him how to calculate his BMI etc. and he saw that he's supposed to be about 10 pounds thinner (in my opinion, 15). He feels exercise will do it, but it really isn't enough.
So, here I live with someone who is not undermining my efforts for myself, but doesn't seem to be working on his own body/health. There's just so much one can do to affect another person's behavior.
I'm doing this for me, so I'll keep doing it. I do the shopping so he doesn't bring home pies and other fattening things. Due to our schedules, I cook most of the time (vegetarian) and he likes making stir fries on the weekend in the wok, so that works fine (I told him no more than a tablespoon of oil). Over the last couple of years he's lost his doublechin and looks much better and some day I hope he'll lose a few more pounds.
So, to the original poster I'd say, focus on YOU, set an example, try to control the food that enters the house and the way food is cooked, if you can, and begrudgingly your family will start to eat better. (except when they go out to lunch for a gyro or cheesecake).
Keep writing and checking in. Good luck!0 -
My house is clean. Not a bad food in sight. If it gets brought in by my husband or daughter, it goes right down the disposal. Only took the second time before they realized they better eat their garbage before stepping through the door.
My friend brings by cookies, cakes and things when she stops by for coffee. I think of that as a gift and wait til the door closes before I grind that up too. I don't think she has noticed that I only have a small plate of fruit when she is here. I am really trying not to draw any attention to what I am doing to my circle of people who don't live here.
Anyway it took about 3 weeks for my husband and daughter to get on board. Olivia is down 5 lbs and she is thrilled at how easy it was. And my husband is down 6. He continues to drink, but this is not a weakness for me. So I do not mind it in the house.
I found that it is me who has to be the cheerleader (not part of my nature but I am learning). My control leads to their control.
And all blessings have lead me here to MFP. All the support I need is right here in these pages.
That seems kind of rude. I would rather be politely asked to not bring round cookies etc than to have my gift (and money) chucked in the bin.
probably just hard to change habits. My suggestion instead of throwing it away be sure to send it back home with her/them saying a polite thank you but you prefer not to keep that in the house because your working on changeing your eating habits. Why can't they bring what they like to snack on with their coffee0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.8K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 396 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.8K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 967 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions