Dating vs. "going out"
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So I'm going to geek out here for a second (because it's what I do best!) and say that you should really read excerpts, articles, or books on the sociological framework and history of "dating" and "courtship" in America. It's really fascinating how the semantics of the word(s) and action(s) have changed over the past 50 years!
Our generation (and I'm 25... so... you get the idea) seems to not like the idea of dating multiple people at once (or maybe that's just because I'm from Tennessee). But doing so didn't used to be that big of a deal a few generations back. Hints the cheesy term "going-steady." Some sociologist suggest that it's a backlash of 60's and 70's free love culture and others say it's more to do with the AIDS epidemic...
It's really interesting though. I'm. Done. And I apologize for being an uber geek
This is an excellent post...I think it is part Generational and also location like you said...and also Gender...too...
I have a female friend who use to get built up tension when going out for the first time with a guy trying to be all perfect...I always have to calm her down and say...Girl...you are just hanging out...just crack some jokes, smile and laugh at his jokes...and don't put any expectations on it....
After a few months of this she has found the one and is considering marriage with her current BF....
for two long years she was going out with guys...but calling them dates and getting too weired with them when they were "hanging out with other girls"0 -
No, I'm not helping your argument. You seem to think that everyone, or every man, agrees with your personal definition, but you are wrong. Haven't you ever heard of a daddy/daughter date? Do you think they're having sex? Sorry but you can go on a date with a friend, a relative, a co-worker, whatever. It means nothing more than the fact that it was a scheduled activity. You go on and call it what you whatever you want, but your definition is NOT the universal one. It's a word with an actual definition, try looking it up.Exactly you are actually helping my arguement....Because GUYS don't go on DATES with their mom....We simply don't use that word until we are truly into a girl...
We take our mom out we don't call up mom and say let's go on a date...We just say.."Mom, I am taking you out"
We don't plan dates with our male friends...we say "Yo man...let's hang out"
Same with a girl....if I don't know her like that " I call her up and say let's hang out..no pressure...just have fun and laugh"
If we hit it off a few times...I MAY begin to DATE her0 -
No, I'm not helping your argument. You seem to think that everyone, or every man, agrees with your personal definition, but you are wrong. Haven't you ever heard of a daddy/daughter date? Do you think they're having sex? Sorry but you can go on a date with a friend, a relative, a co-worker, whatever. It means nothing more than the fact that it was a scheduled activity. You go on and call it what you whatever you want, but your definition is NOT the universal one. It's a word with an actual definition, try looking it up.Exactly you are actually helping my arguement....Because GUYS don't go on DATES with their mom....We simply don't use that word until we are truly into a girl...
We take our mom out we don't call up mom and say let's go on a date...We just say.."Mom, I am taking you out"
We don't plan dates with our male friends...we say "Yo man...let's hang out"
Same with a girl....if I don't know her like that " I call her up and say let's hang out..no pressure...just have fun and laugh"
If we hit it off a few times...I MAY begin to DATE her
I never said that you couldnt call it going on a date!
I said Dating means more to me than Going Out....
in the past what me and a lot of my male friends called going out most girls I come across call it dating...
That word has changed it's meaning over time depending on where you are from and your generational upbringing...as well as gender with my experience...I am very well sure some men call what I call going out dating...but I have yet to run across any....
have a nice date...i mean day0 -
It's a word with an actual definition, try looking it up.
here is a definition of dating
Dating is a form of courtship consisting of social activities done by two people with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.
Look at the word "courtship"
here is courtship
Courtship is the period in a couple's relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage
If I am hanging out with a girl...I am not courting her "yet"
I am just getting to know her.,...whether she is worthy of courtship.0 -
I never said that you couldnt call it going on a date!
I said Dating means more to me than Going Out....
in the past what me and a lot of my male friends called going out most girls I come across call it dating...
That word has changed it's meaning over time depending on where you are from and your generational upbringing...as well as gender with my experience...I am very well sure some men call what I call going out dating...but I have yet to run across any....
have a nice date...i mean day
Hmmm... you know I've never considered the influence of gender on the semantics of the word but I think you really are on to something there.
Also... When you consider the age old adage of "when a guy does _____ you call him a player and when a girl does the same thing you call her a [insert derogatory name for a woman here]"... you could see that there's probably more societal pressure on women to get into and sustain a "stable" relationship. This pressure probably frames the way a woman describes what she's doing with a man (i.e., going on a date vs. hanging out) because there's almost a need to tell other people through your wording that you, as a woman, are TRYING to cultivate a more serious relationship by GOING OUT with this guy on a DATE. Maybe I'm way off though
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I never said that you couldnt call it going on a date!
I said Dating means more to me than Going Out....
in the past what me and a lot of my male friends called going out most girls I come across call it dating...
That word has changed it's meaning over time depending on where you are from and your generational upbringing...as well as gender with my experience...I am very well sure some men call what I call going out dating...but I have yet to run across any....
have a nice date...i mean day
Hmmm... you know I've never considered the influence of gender on the semantics of the word but I think you really are on to something there.
Also... When you consider the age old adage of "when a guy does _____ you call him a player and when a girl does the same thing you call her a [insert derogatory name for a woman here]"... you could see that there's probably more societal pressure on women to get into and sustain a "stable" relationship. This pressure probably frames the way a woman describes what she's doing with a man (i.e., going on a date vs. hanging out) because there's almost a need to tell other people through your wording that you, as a woman, are TRYING to cultivate a more serious relationship by GOING OUT with this guy on a DATE. Maybe I'm way off though
I have to admit...I have most definitely fell into the double standard setting of what a guy does is being a player and what a girl does is being a garden tool...I have matured and see it is wack on both parts....
really communication is the key...if a woman is grown enough.....she can handle a guy being honest and saying "Hey...We are not actually committed so I am seeing or hanging out with other girls" and she should be like..."same here I am seeig other guys"...lol
I love your logic and the way you deliver your words...:flowerforyou:0 -
im not familiar with either of these0
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I mean, as long as you know you feel about him and he knows how he feels about you, does it really matter what you call it?
This is where things get dicey! Because it really doesn't matter what you call it...as long as you both have the same understanding of what you are doing....
I remember having this debate with a girlfriend of mine...What she called dating ...I called hanging out...and what she called in a committed relationship...I called dating...
Our first time hanging together was just a dinner and talking...she called that first time a date....
I then said to her if we never went out again...would you tell someone you dated me, or we went out once....
she froze and realized "Yea we just went out"
I would say "We went on a date"
I would say, "We went on a date," too :S... but maybe that just helps Tacos' gender argument all the more.
Although saying that you "dated" someone and saying you went on "a date" are two different things too. I thinking "Dating" implies multiple dates... and also an ongoing action. Therefore having "dated" someone implies multiple dates... if it was less than two dates then I guess you could say "We went on a date once... and it wasn't that great." Because it probably wasn't if it only happened once XD0 -
I love your logic and the way you deliver your words...:flowerforyou:
Also... =3 Thanks!0 -
For me:
Dating = there is intimacy, I like her (may even think I love her), I am considering her for marriage
I personally don’t say going out….I say Hanging Out
Hanging Out = there is interest, I am testing out whether I could date her or keep her in the friend zone.
agree0 -
it depends if he has given you his class ring or Letterman's jacket...then you know it is serious!0
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going out MIGHT get me a beej.
dating BETTER get me one.0 -
And I see it backwards. I've gone out with a lot of guys, but I've dated a few. I see dating to be the long term word.
This is the definition I agree with...
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going out MIGHT get me a beej.
dating BETTER get me one.
+1 million0 -
One you put out and the other you don't? :huh:
I like this one. Lets go with this. LOL0 -
They are different. I think "dating" means someone you have been seeing for a few weeks/months but it's not quite defined as a committed relationship yet. I think of "going out" to mean someone you've been out with once or twice or a few times.
"I dated Steve for 3 months but then we decided we weren't right for each other."
"I went out with that guy a few times but nothing really came of it."
"I'm going out with this new guy on the 2nd date."0 -
See, my take is "long-term" is going out. Dating is casual and you just go on dates. Going out... you're actual *boyfriend* and *girlfriend* haha0
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I see it as "dating" you are getting to know each other to see if there is something there or not. "going out" is more of you have made a commitment to that person and you no longer date other people.
Just my opinion0 -
I agree that there is a difference between dating and going out.
Now which is which is where I flipflop on.
This is my thought, confusing as it is.0 -
to me going out and dating is the same exact thing just worded differently0
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As long as there is sex involved I really don't care what she calls it0
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I've always referred to casualness as "seeing someone" and more committed as "dating." When I refer to my boyfriend, I'll say we've been dating for 8 or so months. The first month we were spending time together I would say that we were "seeing each other" to imply that we were spending time together but it wasnt serious, but after we had the relationship talk, I started saying we were "dating." I feel like that implies more of a seriousness to the status of the relationship. But I think it's different for everyone. 0
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I don't even know what to call my own man/boyfriend/male friend/boy i go out with/who I'm dating casually, but we aren't seeing other people, unless he wants to see other people occassionally (and not tell me), and we've been doing this for 3 years. How can I even begin to explain the difference between "dating" and "going out".
Oh, and don't get me started on the kid thing, we have many outings with his kids, which poses to be even more confusing.
Now my head really hurts.
And I added absolutely nothing to this thread. So, I'll end it with this..... Sex is what makes the world go round.0 -
This is what I thought, too.I called it "going out" in middle school. As an adult, I call it dating.0 -
I don't understand why you have to label anything to do with relationships. I don't get it. If we are spending time together then that's all it should matter. If two people like each other enough, they'll want to spend more time together...too simple.
AGREE 100%... I feel that trying to put a label on whatever it might be puts more pressure which might ruin the whole situation. Just my opinion.
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going out MIGHT get me a beej.
dating BETTER get me one.
Haha!!;)0 -
I don't know I'll have to ask my wife.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
I can't be the only one who thinks dating and going out are two different things! I havn't been in a relationship in over 2 years, but I have dated a few guys since then. Family and friends are a little confused when they ask if we are going out yet, and I tell them no, we are just dating. I guess I am picky, I don't jump into a relationship, I want to date to get to know them first. So I get "Dating and going out is the same thing." a lot. So far my sister is the only one who is the same way as me.
Dating - exclusive between the couple (or more!), personally it varies from serious to casual.
Going out - very casual, multiple people (or just one), nothing serious, testing the water as it were.
To me both include sex!0 -
I can't be the only one who thinks dating and going out are two different things! I havn't been in a relationship in over 2 years, but I have dated a few guys since then. Family and friends are a little confused when they ask if we are going out yet, and I tell them no, we are just dating. I guess I am picky, I don't jump into a relationship, I want to date to get to know them first. So I get "Dating and going out is the same thing." a lot. So far my sister is the only one who is the same way as me.
I've always considered dating and going out as the same thing. And most people I know consider it the same thing as well...maybe it's a regional term or something.0 -
I agree with you but to me they are the same. I'm dating this guy, I've been seeing this guy, I've been going out with this guy - all the same. All implies you are not yet in a committed relationship.
Once you are, then you're no longer "just" dating or going out or whatever. You're in a relationship and call each other boy/girlfriend.
This.0
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