Lose the weight, lose the partner?

RainHoward

People generally gain weight for a myriad of reasons. Many of those are psychological. Anything from depression to self esteem issues. People also make the choice to get healthy for reasons. Frequently it's because they finally dealt with those issues. When a person changes enough to make the choice to live a healthier lifestyle other things about that person are bound to change as well. This can be reflected in personal relationships, jobs, religion or any other aspect of day to day life.

meeper123

I was a bit saddened after reading a thread on another weight loss forum. I'll refer to the OP as Jane Doe. For about a year, Jane Doe has been proactive about her weight loss, and finally reached her end goal in June. Now, 30 pounds lighter, she questions if she "really loves" her boyfriend of almost 10 years. He is not overweight but she is finding him less and less attractive, especially, now that other men are showing interest in her. She ends on the note of, "He's a good father to my son, and he's always been there for me but.. the flame is dying.." Are people we love THAT disposable? We get a makeover and suddenly we feel we're entitled to (what we think) is the next best thing? It was really quite a depressing thread. Not sure what kind of feedback she was looking for.. Maybe justification? I don't know. What I do know, is that the grass isn't always greener on the other side, it's greener on the side that we water! I think that's the feedback I ended up leaving her

Thas so sad My hubby is in super good shape ( military) and I have gained weight he still loves me and helps me. I can't imagine how I would feel if he decided to leave me because I was not in as good as shape as he is

LisaDunn01

This is a hard thing to judge. Did she "settle" in the first place because she didn't feel worthy or good enough? We're not privy to their relationship so we don't know what is going on there... Is he creating on the relationship to keep the flame alive (e.g., flowers, date nights, etc.)? Is she? It takes two... There are just too many unknowns to make a judgement.

dakotababy

Somewhere on MFP forums, Someone put up a before and after picture of themselves. It had a quote
"If he loved me at my worst" (on the before picture)
"He deserves me at my best" (on the after picture)

It was really a beautiful post, and I will never forget it because that is exactly how I would like my perspective to be when I do lose my 100 lbs. I sometimes say it to myself when I feel like we are going over some bumps and I automatically assume it has to do with our differences in lifestyle now.

CaoimheAine

People change and feelings do too..