Your funniest quote.

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13

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  • FitFlipRunner
    FitFlipRunner Posts: 66 Member
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    Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it...
  • xSophia19
    xSophia19 Posts: 1,536 Member
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    I dont skinny dip, i chunky dunk!
  • 7bel0
    7bel0 Posts: 192 Member
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    saw this online and thought it was pretty funny

    "If gas prices keep going up, I'm going to cut holes in the floor of my car and Flinstone that b****!"
  • khara2012
    khara2012 Posts: 1,051 Member
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    People say that drinking coffee every day is dangerous. But I say the bigger risk to your health is standing between me and my sweet cup of caffeinated joy! :devil:
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
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    A couple of my favorites are:

    I was busier than a one legged man in an *kitten* kicking contest!

    Hotter than a ten cent hooker on dime night!
  • MissC787
    MissC787 Posts: 175 Member
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    God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt.

    Dear Guys Wearing Skinny Jeans, I...Can't...Breathe! Sincerely, Your B*lls....lmfao!!

    You've never realized how weird your friends are until you have to describe them to someone else.

    Sometimes I'm being annoying to you because I like you.

    Shh.... Be pretty.
  • khara2012
    khara2012 Posts: 1,051 Member
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    God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls can flirt.

    Dear Guys Wearing Skinny Jeans, I...Can't...Breathe! Sincerely, Your B*lls....lmfao!!

    You've never realized how weird your friends are until you have to describe them to someone else.

    Sometimes I'm being annoying to you because I like you.

    Shh.... Be pretty.

    These are sooooo funny!!
  • khara2012
    khara2012 Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts.Others come into our lives & make us want to leave footprints on their face. :devil:
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
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    Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
  • Danika6676
    Danika6676 Posts: 13 Member
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    Calories.....those are the little buggers that sneak into my closet at night and sew my clothes tighter.
  • Danika6676
    Danika6676 Posts: 13 Member
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    Hold on....nobody move.....I lost my mind! If you find it please don't straighten it out....it has taken me years to get it that twisted!
  • khara2012
    khara2012 Posts: 1,051 Member
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    If you won't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
  • shaleasymphony
    shaleasymphony Posts: 172 Member
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    they say women love a man in uniform....but when i go to the club in my mcdonald's uniform no one even looks at me!
  • shaleasymphony
    shaleasymphony Posts: 172 Member
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    that awkward moment when you go to hug someone sexy as hell and you hit the mirror
  • chelovik
    chelovik Posts: 200 Member
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    You are as worthless as tits on a bull
  • Tapemymouthshutplease
    Tapemymouthshutplease Posts: 101
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    Silence is golden, duct tape is silver : )
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
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    i see says the blind man talking to the deaf man on the phone.
  • cheshirequeen
    cheshirequeen Posts: 1,324 Member
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    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotch of the person who
    screws up your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
  • snowmaniac
    snowmaniac Posts: 600 Member
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    I've upped my fiber intake. Up yours!

    Some people are like Slinkies.They aren't really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to my face when I push them down a flight of stairs.
  • SunshineDay76
    SunshineDay76 Posts: 94
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    Don't sweat the petty things, and definitely never pet the sweaty things.

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