Tired of the compliments??

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kcoburn327
kcoburn327 Posts: 111 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am a teacher and I love my job. I started in March 2012 on my weightloss journey. Before school got out I had lost 20 pounds but no one reqlly noticed and honestly I was okay with that. I personally do not like attention on myself.

In May I added running to my journey and then in mid June added Insanity. I lost an addtional 14 pounds over the summer and a ton of inches. I could post on Fb and get a "great job " here and there. I have dropped from a size 12/14 to a 4/6. I still have about 12 pounds I would like to lose but I am more focused on toning up.

Since going back to school I have gotten a lot pf compliments, questions about my loss. Which is great and sweet but honestlt I feel like now everyone is watching me. I know it is all mental but it still gets to me.

I know this os a strange rant and I know I need to worry about me.
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Replies

  • morticiamom
    morticiamom Posts: 221 Member
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    I thought I was the only one who was bothered by this! I know people are trying to be supportive, but I'm undertaking this for me, not anyone else. I don't need anyone's approval but my own.

    Support/commiseration from people who are undergoing the same thing is different, and is always okay.
  • EnchantedEvening
    EnchantedEvening Posts: 671 Member
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    I thought I was the only one who was bothered by this! I know people are trying to be supportive, but I'm undertaking this for me, not anyone else. I don't need anyone's approval but my own.

    Support/commiseration from people who are undergoing the same thing is different, and is always okay.
    Wow. Aren't you a peach.

    A compliment is simply a nice statement that acknowledges and recognizes you look great. It's something nice people do for each other. Would you feel the same way if someone complimented a new haircut or blouse? It's not that they're giving you approval. They're simply recognizing that you look great. They're *being NICE*.

    Do you get mad when people open the door for you and say, "I don't need help opening doors?" I hope not. People open doors to be nice, not because they think you are weak.

    Compliments are the same way. It's just something nice, and you should take it as such. Stop being so sensitive. We have so many rude people in this world. When someone is nice, don't cut them down for it. Do you get mad when people wish you a good day too?
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
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    This is a problem I would LOVE to experience just once in my life.
  • Retiredmom72
    Retiredmom72 Posts: 538 Member
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    I worked in a school and recently retired. I know that whenever anyone lost weight, there were always compliments and questions. Teachers are always wanting to learn. Congrats on your accomplishments! You are inspiring those around you.
  • wlkumpf
    wlkumpf Posts: 241 Member
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    they say it is easy to hide by gaining weight. It is less noticable and I think these days much more common and comfortable for people to see.
    Opposit problem most people have, I have worked my butt off and not a word from anyone because I haven't changed much since July 1st, but............... get compliments that I look a lot more lean or that I have lost weight whenever I have been at my heaviest, go figure. people will be all, you look fantastic, you must have lost a lot of weight (this was at a christmas party) and in reality I was the heaviest I had been without being pregnant.

    I would just say "thanks". I finally decided to focus on me. or you could say. I wanted to set a good example and made fitness a priority.

    Stand tall! You rocked it and deserve some positive feedback.
  • acs4162
    acs4162 Posts: 99 Member
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    bump
  • CampKelly
    CampKelly Posts: 172 Member
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    ......I have the same issue. I know it's all in my own head but never the less it's an issue (guess I'm a peach too)
  • eatrainsmile
    eatrainsmile Posts: 220 Member
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    At least they are positive people who are complimenting you and apprecciate your success, maybe they need help and you are a real inspiration for them. What if they were jealous b*tches who would tell you "you look sick, pale, unhealthy and you used to look better when you were heavier" and what if they constantly asked you how you can survive on so little food and how you can live without dellllicccioous crappy food and what if they pushed you to eat their home made junk cuties like my ex collegues did. I quitted my ex-job just because of such kind of gals around me. And i hadnt lost even one pound. I had always been slim like this. Look at the glass half full, not half empty.
  • kcoburn327
    kcoburn327 Posts: 111 Member
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    I do appreciate the compliments. I just don't like the attention.
  • BikinimomE
    BikinimomE Posts: 116 Member
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    I do appreciate the compliments. I just don't like the attention.

    Is it because you feel that people are looking for you to give them advice and you aren't comfortable with giving specific information?
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    It eases off once they get used to the new you. Just smile and say thank you.
  • niftyfifty47
    niftyfifty47 Posts: 87 Member
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    I just LOVE it when someone notices that I have lost weight. I am doing this for me but sometimes we can't see what's staring us in the face. As we see ourselves every day 7 or 8 pounds doesn't look much different in the mirror, but when someone sees you after a space of time the difference looks huge to them.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
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    I can't get enough of the compliments. They keep me motivated and give a boost of confidence. :)
  • knightreader
    knightreader Posts: 813 Member
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    i don't mind the compliment of looking good, i do, however, get annoyed when people ask how much i have lost. i don't know why it bothers me so much. or when people ask what my starting weight was. i don't have good answers for these, so i often tell the truth. it is embarrassing to say my starting weight and i think people do some quick estimating when i tell them how much i lost. its a weird feeling.
  • mattack
    mattack Posts: 137 Member
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    Look at the positive side:
    1. Everyone noticed your hard work
    2. You will have a better chance of maintaining or losing more knowing you are an inspiration
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    I was. For about a year after I lost weight people went on about it all the time and I hated it. Now everyone seems to have got used to me being the size I am, and I haven't had any comments for a while. It's better.
  • 126siany
    126siany Posts: 1,386 Member
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    I do appreciate the compliments. I just don't like the attention.

    I understand it. Most people who have been carrying excess weight for a while have become much more comfortable "hiding". It can be difficult to enjoy the spotlight, especially when you consider your journey to be in progress rather than completed.

    My brother has done an amazing job losing 50 pounds over the course of about a year. I see him rarely because we live quite a distance from one another. When he lost the first 25, he'd leave the room shortly after anyone complimented him. He really had difficulty with the attention. Now that he's lost 50, he's much better at taking a compliment! It took him a good 6-8 months to get to that point.
  • Awkward30
    Awkward30 Posts: 1,927 Member
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    I do appreciate the compliments. I just don't like the attention.

    This. It makes me feel super awkward and flattered.
  • schustc
    schustc Posts: 428 Member
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    Well - I wouldn't say I am tired of them - for me, it's just uncomfortable when people say "YOU LOOK GREAT!" I just don't know how to respond :( My head is saying "How can I look great? I'm still 80 pounds to goal - at least 60! " I'm appreciative, but, I am so unused to the comments I .. don't know what to say.

    I wouldn't say I "I'm doing this for me and not anyone else and don't need their approval" eh.. that's not my issue - I just don't know how to handle it.

    My trainer says it's because I'm too modest, and if they were being critical I'd not lose sleep over it, because I'm used to that kind of treatment. Probably some truth to that.

    even if I didn't have a lot of people verbally criticise me in my history, I always felt people were thinking it, so having the verbal version probably wouldn't surprise me.

    He put it to me this way "Tina, They're not telling you that you look like a playboy model. They're saying you have accomplished a great thing and look so much better". LOL (*snort* at "Not a playboy model") as IF .. :)
  • cappri
    cappri Posts: 1,089 Member
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    Me too! I started my weight loss journey last Feb. and by the end of the school year I had lost 55 pounds and yes people were very complimentary often towards the last month of school. I lost another 14 pounds over the summer, and a lot of inches. School started back up on Wednesday and I've been the focus of a lot of attention. I do smile and just say thank you, and I really appreciate everyone being supportive.

    Two things are getting me a little frustrated though. That I'm now the go to person for weight loss advice, which no one really wants to hear. I got grilled by two different people on Friday, both of them asking for a "friend" about what I've been doing, eating, etc. I'm happy to answer, but it feels like they want the answers to be different. I'm also frustrated that people are surprised that I'm still working on losing more weight. I still have another 20-25 pounds to get into a healthy weight range, why is it so shocking that I'm not done with weight loss? I'm still overweight!

    I'll be glad when the newness of my appearance wears off and I don't feel like all eyes are on me in the lunch room.

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