Tired of the compliments??

luvs2teachincali

I have the same problem! I am also a teacher and at the end of the school year I recommitted myself to weight loss at 198. When the new school year began I was 185.5. Nobody noticed and I was ok with that. It was only 12.5 pounds afterall. What's really funny is that I mentioned to this one teacher, "Wow, you lost weight over the summer didn't you? You look great!" (She is still bigger than me, but it was a noticeable change). She smiled wide and replied, "Yes! I am down 12 pounds. Thank you!" And then walked away. I was feeling kind of bummed to tell you the truth, after that. How can people notice HER 12 pounds but not mine?

We just completed our 5th week of school and I am now 178.5 (an additional 7 pound loss) and my-oh-my people are starting to notice. I started at a VERY TIGHT size 18 in May 2012 and am now in a loose size 16 (I need to try 14, but am scared it won't fit and I'll feel crushed, LOL).I have student's moms telling me I look thinner, other teachers, students I had years ago that are now in 2nd and 3rd grade, and even moms that I see around campus but have never met. I am getting sick of it actually.

I think it's fine to hear a compliment ONCE IN AWHILE. I think it keeps us motivated and going strong. But to hear it two times a day, sometimes more, is a bit much!! It makes me want to curl up and hide.

I have decided to just be TOTALLY HONEST when people ask. I tell them how much I've lost and how much more I have to go too. One dad the other day said he couldn't believe how thin I was and he kept making this motion on his face (like elongating his chin) and he goes, "Wow! Even your face is just so thin now!" It was quite uncomfortable. A dad! LOL. I just said, "Thanks, I've lost 27 pounds but still have about 50 to go!" He said, "Oh no way.... you look FINE just like that. I don't think you need to lose any more." I said, "Well, I'm wearing size 16 and I'd like to wear at least a size 10 if not smaller." Then I smiled and walked away. LOL! I'm not afraid for anyone to know how big I was before. I couldn't care less. Besides I don't DARE ever go back so where's the shame?

I agree with others though... just smile and nod, maybe throw in a "thanks" and head off. That's what I am doing for the most part now.

luvs2teachincali

OMG, I almost forgot to mention... I bought a few new shirts and a few pants/jeans.... every time I wear something new, or even something I have just never worn because it didn't fit right before, I get comments from other teachers.... "Oh, I see someone went shopping!" It's ANNOYING at best. I don't say that to them when they wear new clothes!?!? Another teacher will say, "I bet you had to buy all new clothes, huh?" We were supposed to wear RED every Weds. in August to show "we care" (character education) and a teacher asked where my red was. I told her I didn't own a red shirt and she told me to go to Target to get one. They are under 10 bucks. I said, "Sure, in the junior's section!" LOL. And she said no they were in the regular women's. I told her I'd check it out. I went. The cheap ones were INDEED in the junior's section. I bought one in the women's section, size XL, but it's clingy material and let's just say I like my clothing to cover up some of those rolls. LOL!! So the next week she asked again. I told her that I went to buy one but I don't like it and she said, "I'm sure it looks fine. You're still in denial." WHATEVER. LOL.

So yeah, I'd like to add here...
Comments about my clothing probably suck even more than comments about my progress. :noway:

amanda_ataraxia

I can't get enough of the compliments. They keep me motivated and give a boost of confidence.

Agreed!

wgn4166

You are doing such a great job! Don't worry about what others think. My close friends told me they couldnt even tell that I had gained 20 pounds. Well they werent in the dressing room with me while i was in tears because I had to buy bigger pants. Now that I have only 9 more pounds to lose, they say they cant even tell that I have lost weight. I used to let it bother me, but I no longer listen. I just tune them out, and do what is best for me.

TheRealParisLove

I know how you feel, especially if others around you are struggling to lose weight and you seem to have done it effortlessly (simply because they weren't watching). Being successful when others are failing is tough pill to swallow. Of course you want success for yourself and for others, but how do you handle social interactions without sounding like a pretentious jerk after a while?

After a while the compliments start to sound empty and maybe even touched with jealousy. Maybe even more startling are those who compliment and then throw a disclaimer in at the end, like, "It's great that you lost all that weight, but I'm sure you didn't have to deal with _______________."

It is hard, especially when you want everyone to accomplish their goals. I get what you are going through. After a bit the compliments will subside as people get used to the new you. It'll take about 3 months before people stop remembering the old heavy you.

cramernh

If someone complimented me, I would be THRILLED - I would never be bothered by it at all. Why arent you allowing yourself the attention that you are getting that is positive?

Or are you too comfortable with negative to the point that negative is the only 'normal' you know?

Might want to rethink that for yourself before you put weight back on due to cortisol development from stressing over nothing....

californiagirl2012

Yup this is what happens. Sometimes the same thing happens to me. You stick out in a society of an over abundance of food and obesity. Sometimes I feel tired of it and would rather blend in. But really, it just means you are exceptional so try to enjoy it. Great job on what you have accomplished for yourself. I hope you are proud and happy and feel good about it and continue to do so, because it changes your life in a magical way.

gungho66

I work in a school and have lost 71 pounds , yes I have busted my *kitten* and have not looked back for one day! It feels great and I will take every damn compliment i get , I earned them! BUT..... what I have found out is that I have had more people ask me for advice or tell me I was there motivation or ask me , HOW DID YOU DO THIS? When I am able to share with them and introduce them to nutrition and the world of fitness, it is an AWESOME feeling. Each one of us through our quest has become a mini ambassador to the world , and if each one of us is able to inspire one more person in our journey , think how great the power of one can become. So when that compliment comes , take it , its someone who has noticed what can be done with some hard work and may just ignite the fire within themselves. BE PROUD~!

lenoresaari

So glad you brought up the topic because that is my dreaded fear of what will people say
when I walk in the room thinner? I guess sort of the opposite of someone seeing you walking in the room
alot fatter? Kinda dont like people scrutinizing my body Just be glad Im thinner and let that be it.

Molly_Maguire

I NEEEEEVER get tired of being congratulated on my hard work, and neither should you!

mscoco10

well from what I've read it sounds like you just need to get use to the new you. stay positive and good luck on reach your goal.

kcoburn327

I really appreciate ALL the responses.
I am not use to the "new" me. I went shopping today and actually bought a size small dress for my class reunion and a 3/4 in pants. I started this at a 12/14 and a large or extra large dress. I have found myself sabortaging (sp?) myself lately and I know I have to stop it.
I am proud of the work I have done and look forward to keeping it up, however I do not like the attention. I know that it will fade as people get to use to the new me as well.

morticiamom

I never said I was rude to them, or did anything but smile and say thank you. I am an adult and know how to behave. I am also an introvert, and find people's attention draining, and intrusive. It's not a judgmental thing, it's just the way I'm wired. After so many years, I've made peace with it, and deal with it as best I can while still behaving in a socially acceptable manner.

Tzippy7

I just got back to school and i honestly cant take the comments ! EVERYONE mentions it. Then it just makes me feel like they will all notice if i gain any back/WHY IS MY BODY A TOPIC OF CONVERSATION ? I have started going to class in clothes that make me look fat and no make up to avoid the comments.

sabolfitwife

At first the compliments were awesome, but now it's like geez, good to know I was a total tub of lard before :-/ I know everyone means well, but sometimes it's a little frustrating. That being said, in the beginning it was just women who noticed, now even the men that I work with have started handing out compliments and noticing and that is very rewarding to me :-)