healthier/sexier than your spouse now?? is this bad??

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  • twonkieone
    twonkieone Posts: 132
    I can understand how you feel. My fiance and I have been together for 3 years and have been going in opposite directions since we met! For him it's being happy and content for the first time in a while that has prompted his weight gain, while for me it was unhappiness at being above-average in size for my entire young life that motivated me to start eating better and become more active. Over the course of the past 3 years I've lost 30lbs while he's put on about the same amount. I struggle with maintenance/losing the last bit of fat while he struggles to get back on track and look the way he did when we first met. Unlike you we deal with these differences in a healthy way: having open conversations about our goals, struggles, etc. Perhaps if you two can begin having more frequent open conversations about the issue it will pave the way for some positive changes? Sort of like therapy for each of you, plus the bonus of spending time together being open about your feelings =)

    thank you for your answer -- that's what i was looking for. tonight i signed my son up for mfp as a way to just track his food ...since he's had a year long concussion and missed last year and this year on the football team he's gained about 20 pounds. hoping that by having conversations about the son that a lightbulb will go off for my hubs and he'll want to join in also. thank you for posting :smile:
  • TinGirl314
    TinGirl314 Posts: 430 Member
    It is very difficult to do something better for yourself and watch other people do the things the 'old you' would have done previously. There's 2 points I want to make:

    1: It's clear you love him, or you would just leave. I don't think leaving your partner because he hasn't changed is the answer to anything, but that's just my personal opinion. I guess that was more for the commenter than you. :)

    2: I don't know how 'unhealthy' you were before (it sounds like it took a while and a personal investment, congrats!) but when I was 375 pounds, I hated when anyone would bring up diet and working out. Literally I loathed them and I ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's just to spite them. I think it really take the 'oh ****' light bulb to go off for some people... I guess what I'm trying to say, it try not to push real hard, it might end up making things worse.

    i know it's really hard because we don't want those moments. For me it was when I found out that my heart had tilted sideways and I had CHD, diabetes, high cholesterol (Even had pancreantitis)....really it was a lot of OMG moments that got me to where I am...
  • Tonibbls
    Tonibbls Posts: 5 Member
    My husband is currently the same.. 11 yrs 3 kids together and we both let ourselves go. I choose to start being healthy eating better , going to bootcamp running , school and working on myself to be my best. He has consistently been my sabatoeur , down played me , and will only eat healthy if I make every meal. It is very hard when you want for them what you are trying to do for yourself . To be happy and healthy and to change. Recently my husband started running 2.7 miles a day, after much complaining by me. He has lost almost 40lbs which is awesome because he was afraid he was going to lose me. He still however will not eat right at all and I can not fix this for him, he is still a good 30lbs overweight. I can never be off of my game. I am sure you want the best for him , like you want for yourself and I think after a certain point If lifestyles are 100% different choices will have to be made . Whether its comprimise for your life or living to be the best happiest person you can be. This is where I have been at the last several months and I do love my husband , but he needs to have love for himself, also.

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