9 16 oz Beers
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Living in a house with an alcoholic wife, I have seen first hand what excessive drinking can do to a person. I have read through most all of the responses and it seems that most everyone is on one side or the other about it. In my opinion it also depends on the person, the % alcohol of the drink, the span of time of the drinks, and their ability to maintain control. I for one have consumed 9+ beers/drinks over the span of a day/night etc. but don't "black out" or get belligerent. My wife on the other hand will at times drink wine at 13-15% alcohol so fast that before she (I) know it, she is a stumbling, blacked out mess that pisses me off so severly that I can barely look at her. I am not saying that drinking 9, 10 or more beers is no big deal but...
I would not worry too much but if 9+ beers once in a while turns into 3-4 times a week and/or control is lost, then yes I would say it's time to call him out on it.
If not, Cheers!!!0 -
And btw, people that do not have a problem with alcohol do not have a problem giving it up
hahahahahaha!0 -
I haven't had a drink in over 36 hrs.0
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No where does anyone say that having a couple of drinks by yourself watching a game is a problem.
Um.... The OP did on the 1st page.0 -
No where does anyone say that having a couple of drinks by yourself watching a game is a problem.
Um.... The OP did on the 1st page.
Oh wow, I did not realize that 144 ounces of beer was a few beers. Wow, thanks for the heads up. :laugh:0 -
Um... can you quote it please? Because she didn't say that.
No where does anyone say that having a couple of drinks by yourself watching a game is a problem.
Um.... The OP did on the 1st page.0 -
To the OP:
I am not going to tell you your husband is an alcoholic or not. But like some of the other posters said, if you have a problem with it, then you need to discuss it...with your husband. So that you two can come to a consensus.
I feel the same way you do. And I suspect a large part of it is due to my upbringing. I was raised in a house like you described-a glass of wine on special occasions. My husband-well, he grew up with alcoholics. So heavy drinking was the norm.
I suspect healthy drinking is somewhere in between the two.
I have a hard time sometimes with my husband's drinking, he drinks approx 3 12 oz beers maybe 4 times a week. Sometimes he goes over. Rarely is he drunk (that I can tell). Like yours, he doesn't drink liquor.
But I still worry, count the bottles in the fridge, etc. That's likely more MY issue. It's a work in progress in our relationship.
However, if your husband decides this is something he wants to address, there are options other than AA. Society has gotten very black and white in terms of recovery and alcohol. He can be a problem drinker and not necessarily an alcoholic. I speak from personal experience on this one-years ago I was binge drinking-bottles of wine. The reason was to numb anxiety. I ended up joining an online support group called Moderation Management (MM). They teach drinkers to drink moderately, responsibly, by looking at triggers to overdrink, ways to manage those triggers, and challenge urges to overdrink. Some people successfully learn to moderate. Some people determine they have an alcohol problem that can't be moderated and chose to abstain.
I'm just letting you know there are other options out there. If you're interested, you can go to www.moderationmanagement.org.0 -
No where does anyone say that having a couple of drinks by yourself watching a game is a problem.
Um.... The OP did on the 1st page.
Oh wow, I did not realize that 144 ounces of beer was a few beers. Wow, thanks for the heads up. :laugh:
Drinking while everyone is sleeping. Nice reading comprehension.
I said I'd stay up and have one and watch one of the late games. I never get to sit down and enjoy a nice EPA in one of my frosty glasses until my kids go to sleep, on a Saturday night with a College Football game on from the West Coast, or with the Wild out west.0 -
No where does anyone say that having a couple of drinks by yourself watching a game is a problem.
Um.... The OP did on the 1st page.
Oh wow, I did not realize that 144 ounces of beer was a few beers. Wow, thanks for the heads up. :laugh:
Yeah, a dozen is a wee bit more than "a few". Nine 16-ounce beers = twelve 12-ounce beers. So 2 six-packs.0 -
Um... can you quote it please? Because she didn't say that.
No where does anyone say that having a couple of drinks by yourself watching a game is a problem.
Um.... The OP did on the 1st page.
That's what I took out of it.then continuing to drink by yourself after everyone has gone to bed.
Don't leave it open for interpretation I guess.0 -
No where does anyone say that having a couple of drinks by yourself watching a game is a problem.
Um.... The OP did on the 1st page.
Oh wow, I did not realize that 144 ounces of beer was a few beers. Wow, thanks for the heads up. :laugh:
Yeah, a dozen is a wee bit more than "a few". Nine 16-ounce beers = twelve 12-ounce beers. So 2 six-packs.
Nowhere did I say 9 beers was a couple either.....
Good reading comprehension.0 -
To the OP:
I am not going to tell you your husband is an alcoholic or not. But like some of the other posters said, if you have a problem with it, then you need to discuss it...with your husband. So that you two can come to a consensus.
I feel the same way you do. And I suspect a large part of it is due to my upbringing. I was raised in a house like you described-a glass of wine on special occasions. My husband-well, he grew up with alcoholics. So heavy drinking was the norm.
I suspect healthy drinking is somewhere in between the two.
I have a hard time sometimes with my husband's drinking, he drinks approx 3 12 oz beers maybe 4 times a week. Sometimes he goes over. Rarely is he drunk (that I can tell). Like yours, he doesn't drink liquor.
But I still worry, count the bottles in the fridge, etc. That's likely more MY issue. It's a work in progress in our relationship.
However, if your husband decides this is something he wants to address, there are options other than AA. Society has gotten very black and white in terms of recovery and alcohol. He can be a problem drinker and not necessarily an alcoholic. I speak from personal experience on this one-years ago I was binge drinking-bottles of wine. The reason was to numb anxiety. I ended up joining an online support group called Moderation Management (MM). They teach drinkers to drink moderately, responsibly, by looking at triggers to overdrink, ways to manage those triggers, and challenge urges to overdrink. Some people successfully learn to moderate. Some people determine they have an alcohol problem that can't be moderated and chose to abstain.
I'm just letting you know there are other options out there. If you're interested, you can go to www.moderationmanagement.org.
Society has gotten black and white on it for a reason. If you are an alcoholic, you are an alcoholic. End of story. You cannot drink successfully. You cannot drink in "moderation." If you are a true alcoholic then one beer is not enough. Nor is 2 or 3 or however many after that. It spirals out of control. She wasn't really asking about if her husband was an alcoholic anyway.
To the OP, if it turns into a problem then yes you can confront him. Will it work? Maybe, maybe not. Depends on what is important to him. If you think it has turned into a problem, and he doesn't, there isn't really much you can do. You could tell him to stop drinking, but that usually makes the situation worse. All you can worry about is taking care of yourself, you can't fix, manage, or control him or his alcohol intake. Believe me, I've tried. Then I went to Al Anon and realized i can only worry about myself.
As for the rest of you, she wasn't asking you all to compare her husbands drinking to your all's binge drinking or "well i have 10 beers a night so he can too" Give me a break. Just because you do it, doesn't mean it is healthy for all people. It actually can harm a lot of people. And for the ones who get really bent out of shape at the mention of "alcoholic" then maybe it is time to take a look at your own drinking.0 -
This is exactly why I only drink out of 96 oz glasses. I only have 2 or 3 and everybody is happy.
No where does anyone say that having a couple of drinks by yourself watching a game is a problem.
Um.... The OP did on the 1st page.
Oh wow, I did not realize that 144 ounces of beer was a few beers. Wow, thanks for the heads up. :laugh:0 -
And btw, people that do not have a problem with alcohol do not have a problem giving it up
i'm sorry, i was seriously and intently reading all the responses to this issue...
and now i can't. stop. laughing.
::sigh::
anyway, i think the big picture is this: he's your husband. you know him. you know his normal and what isn't normal. yes, some people have a higher tolerance (also depends on his height & weight) but if you see a problem with it, i see it as your duty as a wife to discuss it with him. one of the major pitfalls of marriages is communication. you shouldn't have to feel like the parent checking the liquor cabinets. open your mouth and TALK IT OUT!0 -
Comply or your an alcoholic.
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Were they at least good quality beers? I mean, if they were Bud Light, Miller Lite or any of that other crap then yes, you should be pissed! If they were quality brews such as 'Anything not made by the ;arge breweries", then cut him some slack! :drinker: :drinker: :bigsmile:
But seriously, thats a LOT of beer in one night, especially just to 'wind down':glasses:0 -
To the OP:
I am not going to tell you your husband is an alcoholic or not. But like some of the other posters said, if you have a problem with it, then you need to discuss it...with your husband. So that you two can come to a consensus.
I feel the same way you do. And I suspect a large part of it is due to my upbringing. I was raised in a house like you described-a glass of wine on special occasions. My husband-well, he grew up with alcoholics. So heavy drinking was the norm.
I suspect healthy drinking is somewhere in between the two.
I have a hard time sometimes with my husband's drinking, he drinks approx 3 12 oz beers maybe 4 times a week. Sometimes he goes over. Rarely is he drunk (that I can tell). Like yours, he doesn't drink liquor.
But I still worry, count the bottles in the fridge, etc. That's likely more MY issue. It's a work in progress in our relationship.
However, if your husband decides this is something he wants to address, there are options other than AA. Society has gotten very black and white in terms of recovery and alcohol. He can be a problem drinker and not necessarily an alcoholic. I speak from personal experience on this one-years ago I was binge drinking-bottles of wine. The reason was to numb anxiety. I ended up joining an online support group called Moderation Management (MM). They teach drinkers to drink moderately, responsibly, by looking at triggers to overdrink, ways to manage those triggers, and challenge urges to overdrink. Some people successfully learn to moderate. Some people determine they have an alcohol problem that can't be moderated and chose to abstain.
I'm just letting you know there are other options out there. If you're interested, you can go to www.moderationmanagement.org.
Problem drinker is one step before alcoholic. I did not have physical withdrawal when I stopped and was able to moderate for long periods of time. But my thinking was all messed up and I was allowing things to happen in my life that I normally wouldn't and surrounding myself with people who drank worse than I did or did drugs so that I wouldn't look "so bad". The bottom line is that he may not want to moderate OR stop his drinking. You have NO CONTROL over it. That's what some of us wanted you to realize.
As for recovery being "black or white"....the nature of the disease is that the alcohol is only a symptom of a much bigger problem. I've known people who put down the booze or moderate but still have all their "isms", including my dad. My experience is that if you have to consciously "control" your drinking then you already have a problem.0 -
To the OP:
I am not going to tell you your husband is an alcoholic or not. But like some of the other posters said, if you have a problem with it, then you need to discuss it...with your husband. So that you two can come to a consensus.
I feel the same way you do. And I suspect a large part of it is due to my upbringing. I was raised in a house like you described-a glass of wine on special occasions. My husband-well, he grew up with alcoholics. So heavy drinking was the norm.
I suspect healthy drinking is somewhere in between the two.
I have a hard time sometimes with my husband's drinking, he drinks approx 3 12 oz beers maybe 4 times a week. Sometimes he goes over. Rarely is he drunk (that I can tell). Like yours, he doesn't drink liquor.
But I still worry, count the bottles in the fridge, etc. That's likely more MY issue. It's a work in progress in our relationship.
However, if your husband decides this is something he wants to address, there are options other than AA. Society has gotten very black and white in terms of recovery and alcohol. He can be a problem drinker and not necessarily an alcoholic. I speak from personal experience on this one-years ago I was binge drinking-bottles of wine. The reason was to numb anxiety. I ended up joining an online support group called Moderation Management (MM). They teach drinkers to drink moderately, responsibly, by looking at triggers to overdrink, ways to manage those triggers, and challenge urges to overdrink. Some people successfully learn to moderate. Some people determine they have an alcohol problem that can't be moderated and chose to abstain.
I'm just letting you know there are other options out there. If you're interested, you can go to www.moderationmanagement.org.
Society has gotten black and white on it for a reason. If you are an alcoholic, you are an alcoholic. End of story. You cannot drink successfully. You cannot drink in "moderation." If you are a true alcoholic then one beer is not enough. Nor is 2 or 3 or however many after that. It spirals out of control. She wasn't really asking about if her husband was an alcoholic anyway.
To the OP, if it turns into a problem then yes you can confront him. Will it work? Maybe, maybe not. Depends on what is important to him. If you think it has turned into a problem, and he doesn't, there isn't really much you can do. You could tell him to stop drinking, but that usually makes the situation worse. All you can worry about is taking care of yourself, you can't fix, manage, or control him or his alcohol intake. Believe me, I've tried. Then I went to Al Anon and realized i can only worry about myself.
As for the rest of you, she wasn't asking you all to compare her husbands drinking to your all's binge drinking or "well i have 10 beers a night so he can too" Give me a break. Just because you do it, doesn't mean it is healthy for all people. It actually can harm a lot of people. And for the ones who get really bent out of shape at the mention of "alcoholic" then maybe it is time to take a look at your own drinking.
^^^^^^^THIS! Absolutely!!0 -
I think a lot of people are confused as to what the true definition of an alcoholic is. They come in many different forms, but one thing that is constant, an alcoholic drinks, even when concern is shown and asked not to. They can not stop with out wanting to and many times help.
If someone is asked to stop drinking due to a disagreement over it, it doesn't make them an alcoholic when they don't comply.
He has a job, he stays home with the kids... where is there a problem. (so long as they're not toddlers)
Have you discussed with him his tolerance? For me, I can easily knock back an entire bottle of wine and hardly feel a thing. I've knocked back 6 or so shots and 8 drinks in the course of 3 hours and.. barely feel a thing. Now I don't drive, but I'm still quite aware of what is going on and don't do stupid drunken crap or even slur and I get up just fine the next day. This is my typical Sunday night. **I rarely drink at home. Some people have a naturally high tolerance and it doesn't affect them the way it does other people. Some are light weight..some are heavy weights.
You mentioned he went through a 5th in 2 weeks. That's 2 ounces a day, or 1 shot. My husband drinks 3 or 4 rum and cokes every night, not a huge deal. And many times, he has to work through many of those hours..sometimes with his boss on the phone. (Husband works from home and his job requires him to be on call 24/7.) He works just fine and never falters.
If it was 9 beers every. single. night, that's a different story, but it's not. You two grew up in very different environments and he sounds like he handles it just fine and you're the one with issues.
A back ground... My mom was an alcoholic, I don't remember a whole lot when she'd get hammered around us, she'd usually go to a bar and come home drunk or drink after we went to bed and wake up with a wicked hang over on weekends. even on my 8th incredibly sucky birthday. It didn't really affect us all that much. there were occasions, sure. did she end up in AA, absolutely. and I don't intend on going that route. My husbands family, they don't drink. at all. ever. we had a dry wedding out of respect for that. and actually...I had my daughters put all 30 or so bottles of alcohol in a basement room when they came to visit, haha. My ex mother-in-law, she'd start drinking wine shortly after lunch and stop when t was bed time. every. single. day. she would get super chatty, TMI chatty, slur towards the end of the night, THAT is a problem.
Not an alcoholic, I can just handle large amounts of alcohol. And I really don't think your husband has a problem and in a way, I think you are over reacting.0 -
And btw, people that do not have a problem with alcohol do not have a problem giving it up
LOL, it is simple. If someone says "oh I do not have a problem with alcohol, then it is suggested that they go 30 days with out it and they freak out or can not do it, there IS a problem"
People that alcohol is no big deal to or do not have a problem with it, not drinking it is easy.
This is the dumbest test for a "problem with alcohol" that I've ever heard. How can you not see how irrational that is?
I love beer. I RARELY have more than 3 in a single sitting, but have 1 to 2 4 or 5 times a week. Say my partner states that consumption rate is too much...
The consensus (per this thread and SCIENCE) is that my behavior is healthy. My partner says "well I think this is too much. if you don't have a problem, why don't you quit for 30 days?"
I love beer, don't consume irresponsibly, and don't want to stop drinking for 30 days just to satisfy some arbitrary test. By your logic, I have an alcohol problem.
Comply or your an alcoholic.
^^Thank you! Exactly what I was thinking.0
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