People who tell you to stop losing weight...

karllundy
karllundy Posts: 1,490 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have had more than a few people ask when I am going to stop my weight loss, implying that I should not try to keep going. Started off at ~275 lbs, lost 50 lbs on OPTIFAST and have since lost 15 more. My personal goal is to get down to about 190 lbs. However, some of my co-workers and friends say that is too much and I should stop now. I am only 5'11", so am just now "overweight" on the BMI scale.

Anyone else have this issue? What do you say or how do you respond? Should I just "smile and nod"?
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Replies

  • michaeltoye
    michaeltoye Posts: 48
    i'm 5'10" and 142 lbs and very happy and healthy where i am.

    stop when you feel you want to stop!
  • D3vAnge1
    D3vAnge1 Posts: 104 Member
    I have had more than a few people ask when I am going to stop my weight loss, implying that I should not try to keep going.
    However, some of my co-workers and friends say that is too much and I should stop now.

    Anyone else have this issue? What do you say or how do you respond? Should I just "smile and nod"?

    I get this a lot as well and I haven't figured out a "snappy" response yet (and I'm gifted in that arena, lol). But seriously, I normally say thank you (offering both a smile and a nod) cuz in all honestly when I hear: "You don't need to lose any more weight" my mind translates it to mean: "You look good. Congrats on your losses."
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,416 Member
    "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought I was in charge of my body."

    "Thank you, but I'll make my own decision."


    .......something along that line. It may sound a little rude, but they are rude to stick their nose in your business. It will shut them up, after they say some other annoying thing. People really need to mind their own business. Or face the consequences.
  • OK_Girl
    OK_Girl Posts: 123 Member
    What the hell is wrong with people!

    I get this, too, in another form. I am 5-6, and I started out at 165 lbs. Well over weight- I have a small frame. But I am also a curvy woman and I can dress cleverly, so whenever a person hears my weight, then looks at me, they are surprised, some even shocked- because somehow I am still a size 12, and I 'carry my weight well'. They then tell me I don't need to loose weight b/c I 'look fine' and 'you can't even tell you weigh that much'.

    I think I don't find support, Mostly b/c my weight loss hampers their life in some way, by me not being able to attend family meals b/c it consists of fried meat and buttered things, or my polite refusal of some heavily frosted dessert. People are conatantly trying to subvert my efforts.

    First of all, my weight loss is my personal choice to be healthier. It is no ones business but my own. And I plan to loose as much as I want. When I weighed 135, I was a size 8. That is my goal. And I know full well that my family will tell me it is too thin, blah blah blah.

    When you encounter someone like this, look them straight in the eye, and stare at them for ten straight seconds without saying a word.Then completely change the subject, as if their comment never happened.
  • brookjodie
    brookjodie Posts: 55 Member
    I have lost a lot of weight and I have discovered that people seem to be comfortable with me being the fat girl. I think sometimes people just have a hard time accepting your success because of their own insecurities and that is their problem. I have realized I am not the fat ugly girl to make my friends feel better about themselves and I am no longer anyone's door mat. I still talk to those old frineds but I now know that I will not let them keep me down so they can lift themselves up.
  • OK_Girl
    OK_Girl Posts: 123 Member
    I have lost a lot of weight and I have discovered that people seem to be comfortable with me being the fat girl. I think sometimes people just have a hard time accepting your success because of their own insecurities and that is their problem. I have realized I am not the fat ugly girl to make my friends feel better about themselves and I am no longer anyone's door mat. I still talk to those old frineds but I now know that I will not let them keep me down so they can lift themselves up.

    exactly. when people see you loosing weight, it makes them look at the fact they need to loose weight, stop smoking, better themselves in some much needed way. Seeing you suceed makes them feel bad b/c they are not suceeding or even trying. It would be easier for them if you just stayed fat, so they could stay __________. And no one would ever have to change!
  • ilikepandasyay
    ilikepandasyay Posts: 96 Member
    The worst. I get so angry when people are like "You're trying to lose weight?! You don't need to, you look great!" well sorry but my doctor and my knees and my lungs are all telling me I actually do need to lose weight, and I'm not doing it for YOU anyway, so back off!!

    This makes me a little angry, can you tell? :P
  • karllundy
    karllundy Posts: 1,490 Member
    Thanks for all the good info. I don't think anyone means to be negative. I generally just point out that I am still overweight in the eyes of my doctor. I don't want to offend anyone, but also want them to know that I plan to continue to get healthier.
  • buda12345
    buda12345 Posts: 142 Member
    A guy I know has a saying, " There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Some want to blow other people's candles out and some want to make other people's candles brighter."
  • karllundy
    karllundy Posts: 1,490 Member
    I get this a lot as well and I haven't figured out a "snappy" response yet (and I'm gifted in that arena, lol). But seriously, I normally say thank you (offering both a smile and a nod) cuz in all honestly when I hear: "You don't need to lose any more weight" my mind translates it to mean: "You look good. Congrats on your losses."
    Edited by nikegyrl79 on Tue 09/11/12 08:19 AM

    True! They are saying I look good, but that really isn't what it is about for me. I want to be as healthy as I can. But, I can start thinking of it as a compliment...thanks!
  • BrokenBarbiexoxo
    BrokenBarbiexoxo Posts: 91 Member
    I literally tell people to shut up now, I am also sick of people commenting about weight and saying I have lost too much / should stop dieting etc (my BMI is 23, for a female, I am just in the healthy range) so I will stop when I am happy, not when other people tell me too.
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,271 Member
    throat punch them
  • sgv0918
    sgv0918 Posts: 851 Member
    I get this too and I am finally in a healthy bmi from obese. I just smile and nod
  • SuperAmie
    SuperAmie Posts: 307 Member
    I get.. "please dont get a small as you used to be... that was too skinny".. I seriously wanna say stay out of it.. its my body... I am proud of w/e shape comes out of eating clean and working out..
    It gets verrrryy agravating.... I have a tiny build.. I will probably look very tiny.. I eat waaaay more then I used too.. shhhhhsh it.

    As long as your doing it the healthy way and your body forms to its natural state... I say keep it up!!

    **update.. "natural state" not obese or a skeleton... your healthy weight...
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
    I always say my clothes hide it well and I really do have more to lose for me to be healthy.
  • knittermom07
    knittermom07 Posts: 94 Member
    I usually come back with a "can't stop me now...! I am finally healthy" in a really excited voice, and the shear excitement in my voice usually turns them onto saying yeah you are wish I could do that too. Then I leave with the feeling of having been given a huge comment and mood boost.
  • mmimmi1
    mmimmi1 Posts: 49 Member
    People tell me that a lot...and I just say I still want to loose more body fat and tone up more ... and leave it at that.
  • meggonkgonk
    meggonkgonk Posts: 2,066 Member
    Everyone goes through this a bit and in my opinion, it's a lot like when people offer any other unsolicited advice - you really do just let them have their say and do what what you are going to. If they don't push it past that, then there's no issue. If they continue to insist you are underweight, just tell them that your weight loss is between you and your doctor and it's past the point of discussion. (Invoking the doctor, even if you are not specifically seeing one, is always super helpful for reminding people they don't know what they are talking about).
  • BarbellBlondieRuns
    BarbellBlondieRuns Posts: 511 Member
    Ignore everyone that makes such comments and just listen to yourself. I think you will know when you get to your happy weight. It'll be a weight that you find maintainable and one that you can think clearly and have plenty of energy.

    As for the BMI chart - I think it's a total load of crap.
  • knittermom07
    knittermom07 Posts: 94 Member
    throat punch them
    ^^^Love it!
  • mmimmi1
    mmimmi1 Posts: 49 Member
    That's a good one!
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    I get this a lot as well and I haven't figured out a "snappy" response yet (and I'm gifted in that arena, lol). But seriously, I normally say thank you (offering both a smile and a nod) cuz in all honestly when I hear: "You don't need to lose any more weight" my mind translates it to mean: "You look good. Congrats on your losses."
    Edited by nikegyrl79 on Tue 09/11/12 08:19 AM

    True! They are saying I look good, but that really isn't what it is about for me. I want to be as healthy as I can. But, I can start thinking of it as a compliment...thanks!


    Why does anyone need a snappy response or a nasty come back? We do we have to be the rude ones? Why make it an issue at all.

    Smile, not and thank them. A snappy come back or a rude comment will only make you feel like crap later. We are better than that. Just because we look and feel better does not give us the right to be hurtful to someone else, when in all actuality, they are not trying to be hurtful at all.

    We do not have to get even with every single person who hurts or offends us. We can let the universe sort out who is doing it out of jealousy or spite and let it take care of it. I know, from personal experience, karma really is a biotch. :)
  • marinemomx2
    marinemomx2 Posts: 143 Member
    All the time! I am just under 5'2 and I have lost 62 lbs and that is all I ever hear. I tell them I have a goal which I am not far from but that I would also be happy staying where I am at and that seems to shut them up.
  • mmimmi1
    mmimmi1 Posts: 49 Member
    I usually come back with a "can't stop me now...! I am finally healthy" in a really excited voice, and the shear excitement in my voice usually turns them onto saying yeah you are wish I could do that too. Then I leave with the feeling of having been given a huge comment and mood boost.

    ^^^^That's a good one!
  • sunshinelady512
    sunshinelady512 Posts: 29 Member
    Listen to your doctor, NOT your "friends" or co-workers! If you doctor tells you that you've lost too much weight, then it's time to listen. Otherwise, I would just tell them that it's none of their business! Honestly, it seems to me that people saying that to you is almost as rude as where they to walk up to you before you lost the weight and tell you (unsolicited) that you need to lose weight. Some people just like sticking their nose into other people's business!
  • Lisseth03
    Lisseth03 Posts: 518 Member
    People tell me that a lot...and I just say I still want to loose more body fat and tone up more ... and leave it at that.

    THIS.
  • RoxRae
    RoxRae Posts: 60
    I really hate it when someone says that to me. To me that is as bad as saying, "you should really go on a diet".

    Just smile and nod.
  • robinso5
    robinso5 Posts: 310 Member
    Well Tell them "Why should I listen to you now, when you were no where around to tell me to stop GAINING weight"
  • BenChase
    BenChase Posts: 169
    i personally have a bit of fun with it, people have finally stopped asking because of my many smart@ss comebacks, but a fairly nice one to say is "my (doctor/nutritionist/personal trainer/whoever you want to use here) says the complete opposite of what you say, but since we are on the subject what is YOUR professional opinion of where my weight and body fat percent should be for my height? :bigsmile:
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    Urg I hate when people try to tell me when I should be happy with myself. As long as I'm healthy, why does it matter? My mother in law came over not long ago and seen me and said "I never thought I would ever have to say this to you but, will you promise me to not lose anymore weight? You are melting away and if you lose anymore you will look sick." I'm 5'3, I started at 250lbs I'm currently 134lbs, I'm in the ideal weight for me, but I want to get to 120, which is still in the idea weight for me, its in the middle of the ideal weight range for me. High end would be 140, low end would be 107. I told her "I'll quit losing when I am happy with where I'm at." she argued with me and got mad at me, so I just told her "I'll think about it." but in my head I know where I want to be.

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